“It was nice seeing you again, Baekhyun,” Park Chanyeol’s mother says to Baekhyun. Baekhyun bids her goodbye, biting his lip. He turns on his heel and tugs at the suit he wears that makes him feel stuffy. His eyes scan the room. There are lots of people around. Some are smiling and engaging in conversation while some are crying and cannot hold back their tears. Byun Baekhyun continues to chew on his bottom lip, trying to keep from crying as well.

It is Park Chanyeol’s viewing. Park Chanyeol was one of Baekhyun’s classmates. He and Chanyeol were never really close but they did talk every now and then. Baekhyun knew Chanyeol as a happy-go-lucky kind of guy. He was always smiling and was friendly to those who approached him. He always seemed a bit distant to Baekhyun but it doesn’t exactly bother him since he didn’t know Chanyeol that well himself.

Baekhyun continues to watch all the people surrounding him. He wonders if they even knew Chanyeol…but then again, who was Baekhyun to think like that?

Even though Baekhyun wasn’t the closest to Chanyeol, there was something in his heart that ached. He takes a seat on one of the empty chairs. From the seat he sits in, he stares at the picture of Chanyeol right beside his coffin. He blinks. There are tears welling up in his eyes.

Baekhyun clears his throat, hoping to clear his thoughts as well.

Chanyeol’s body rests in the coffin so peacefully, Baekhyun thinks. It’s almost as if he’s just asleep. Everyone, including Baekhyun, still hopes that’s what Chanyeol is doing even though they know it’s not possible. Baekhyun leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees.

It’s bothering Baekhyun. He tries to figure out why he hurts more than he thought he would. He takes another glance at Chanyeol’s picture. He gets up and walks over to Chanyeol’s coffin. It doesn’t sound right to him. Chanyeol’s coffin. He folds his hands together and hovers over the open coffin. Only half the coffin is open so he cannot see Chanyeol’s long legs. Baekhyun sighs, cautiously kneeling beside it.

As he prays with his eyes open, Baekhyun memorizes the features of Chanyeol’s face. He admits to himself that Chanyeol is handsome, but still he cannot say anything else. He feels his heart pounding. His prayer comes to an end and he closes his eyes now. He remembers Chanyeol’s smiling face when they first met. The only face he remembers of Chanyeol.

Nothing else comes to Baekhyun’s mind as he slowly opens his eyes once again. He lets out a sigh and thinks that maybe Chanyeol’s spirit feels Baekhyun’s breath on his face. Baekhyun suddenly reaches out to touch Chanyeol’s face but then he stops. His fingers tremble as he sheds a tear. No, he thinks to himself. You can’t.

*****

Baekhyun sits in class. His mind is somewhere else as the teacher calls on him.

“Byun Baekhyun, are you listening?” Baekhyun sits up at the mention of his name.

“Ah, yes, sir!”

“Then, answer the question.”

Baekhyun looks down at his textbook and reads over the question hastily. He answers back to the teacher who thought he wouldn’t get it right but he did. It was expected however. Baekhyun is smart and gets good grades but it doesn’t make him feel any better. It does not make his life complete.

*****

It’s still bright outside when Baekhyun walks home. He walks home alone along a road with only trees. It’s almost summer time and the trees sway above him. A canopy of leaves hide Baekhyun from the blazing sun. He sighs.

Baekhyun continues to walk. No cars drive by. He truly is alone.

“Baekhyun hyung.”

Baekhyun turns his head to the right and looks back to see if someone is following him. The winding road is bare. There are fallen leaves that are scattered on the cement. Baekhyun intakes a breath and turns back.

“Ah!”

He jumps back seeing a transparent Chanyeol standing in front of him.

“Hi!” Chanyeol greets him delightfully, but Baekhyun is too surprised. He stands there with his mouth slightly open.

“Wh-who? What? I-”

“Baekhyun-ah, don’t be scared. It’s just me!”

Baekhyun still doesn’t know how to react. His breaths are short and his hand is placed on his chest, clutching onto the fabric he wears. Baekhyun’s head starts to pound. “Ch-Chanyeol,” he says, taking a closer look at the figure in front of him. “I-Is that you?”

Chanyeol grins. “That’s me! Well, sort of.” He scratches the back of his head with that foolish smile on his face. He looks at Baekhyun with big eyes.

Baekhyun asks with a bit of caution, “Aren’t you…Aren’t you, um, dead?”

The expression on Chanyeol’s face seems to darken but still there’s a bit of content. He his bottom lip. He nods his head slightly. Chanyeol is transparent and he knows he is. Chanyeol knows that he cannot touch. He cannot feel anything physically anymore but he thinks that it might be better that way. Chanyeol can only see with the eyes.

Baekhyun, however, his senses are tingling with an unknown feeling. “Are you Chanyeol’s s-spirit?” he asks nervously. There is something bursting with glee inside of him. Maybe, it’s because of the smile Chanyeol wears.

“Yeah,” Chanyeol answers, “I guess. I’m no different than the Chanyeol you’ve talked to. It’s just I’m not in a body.” Chanyeol is trying to reassure Baekhyun. He wants Baekhyun to know that they can both see each other.

Baekhyun does not know how to react. Should he feel happy? Relieved? Maybe it’s more normal for him to be scared but he isn’t. A little taken aback, sure. But frightened? Not entirely.

“You attended my viewing, didn’t you?”

Baekhyun nods his head. He hasn’t moved from his spot and he realizes that. He continues to walk ahead in hopes that Chanyeol will follow him. And that’s what he does.

“Was my family there?” he asks. His feet touch the ground. He casually walks on the ground beside Baekhyun but it’s the only thing he can touch.

Baekhyun replies, “Yeah. Well, I obviously don’t know you’re cousins or aunts or the rest of your family but your parents were there.”

“Who else was there?” Chanyeol asks curiously.

Baekhyun shrugs. He sees Chanyeol in his peripheral vision. He can’t believe his eyes. Chanyeol looks the same. The same big eyes and the same friendly face. The only thing that’s different is that he’s see through and Baekhyun can see the trees and the sunlight through Chanyeol’s spirit. “I don’t know,” he speaks. “A lot of the people in our school were there.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

No other words are said between the two. Baekhyun tries to calm his heart and tries to steady his breath but he has no luck. Chanyeol continues to eerily walk beside Baekhyun. Baekhyun wonders what Chanyeol is thinking about. Is there a reason why Chanyeol is following him?

“I think you’re the only one who can see me.”

“Huh?”

“Out of all the people I’ve visited, I’m almost positive you’re the only one who can actually see me.”

Both Baekhyun and Chanyeol wonder why that is so. To be honest, Chanyeol has only visited his family members and a few of his other friends but Baekhyun was closer to the top of Chanyeol’s ‘to-visit’ list.

Baekhyun gulps. His dry throat hurts a bit. He feels a bit sick but he doesn’t want to go home just yet. He knows no one else would be home so he decides to invite Chanyeol to go somewhere with him.

“Where are we going?” Chanyeol asks. There’s a puzzled expression on his face that Baekhyun can only laugh at.

With another chuckle, Baekhyun says, “Just follow me.”

Baekhyun’s pace quickens as he and Chanyeol walk down the long road. Baekhyun is getting excited for he hasn’t been to the place he’s taking them to in a while. Chanyeol can see the twinkle in Baekhyun’s become brighter and he thinks that it must be a place Baekhyun likes. He smiles, knowing that he will like it, too, even if it’s not new to him.

“I think this is the nicest time to go there,” Baekhyun says. He still fast walks, Chanyeol keeping up easily with him. There’s a small path that breaks through the trees at some point along the road. It’s just squares of rock that each step will follow along. “Just follow me,” he repeats to Chanyeol, hopping along the path.

Chanyeol doesn’t have a heart anymore but he knows for sure that if he did, it would be beating faster than it’s ever beaten before. He also knows that if he still was alive, there would be tears in his eyes. Tears of joy because the one he’s loved for a long time now is next to him.

Baekhyun pats the grass next to him with his eyes on Chanyeol. Chanyeol is awestruck. He still stands on the last square of rock on the path. His lips are slightly parted as he stares at Baekhyun sitting on the grass.

Right in front of them is a large pond. The water is still as the seeds from dandelions float over the surface. Baekhyun sits at the edge, cross-legged, but he’s just about to slip his shoes and socks off.

Chanyeol doesn’t need to breathe anymore, but it seems that his breath is stuck in his throat. There’s nothing more beautiful to Chanyeol then. He is at the peak of his happiness despite the state he is in.

From the couple metres away from Baekhyun, Chanyeol continues to stare.

“Come, sit here,” Baekhyun says calmly, patting the grass beside him again. Chanyeol nods his head once then takes a cautious step forward. Then, he’s running.

Though there was that excitement on Baekhyun’s face, Chanyeol seems more excited now. He imagines his heart pounding and his palms getting clammy. He pretends that his face is heating up and turning red, so he hides his face in embarrassment.

“What’s wrong?” Baekhyun asks the still transparent Chanyeol.

Chanyeol shakes his head, his face still buried in his hands. “Nothing,” he replies with a laugh.

“What is it?” Baekhyun urges with a lopsided grin on his face.

Chanyeol doesn’t say anything. Baekhyun does not expect an answer, so he takes off his shoes and socks. He stuffs his socks into his shoes and places them on the other side of him. He glances at Chanyeol who is now watching him with a bright expression. Baekhyun dips his feet in blissfully. He leans back onto his hands. The water reaches his ankles.

“Chanyeol-ah,” Baekhyun calls out to him. Baekhyun swings his head back and looks at Chanyeol. Chanyeol sits with his legs crossed and his hands folded in his lap. Through Chanyeol, Baekhyun can see the swaying branches of the trees and the grass. It’s kind of pretty, he thinks to himself. It makes Chanyeol look eerie yet soft and peaceful. He swears to never say that out loud though.

“Yeah?” Chanyeol answers. He faces Baekhyun after looking at the setting sun. The sun makes it look like Baekhyun is glowing. In fact, it makes everything around them look…golden.

Again, Chanyeol is stunned.

“Why can I see you?”

Chanyeol replies, “I don’t know.” Sorry, Baekhyun, I’m such a bad liar.

Baekhyun swishes the water with his feet. Maybe I’m being selfish, the voice in Baekhyun’s head says. There’s a part of him that is overjoyed that he’s the only one Chanyeol knows that can see him. At that time, Baekhyun had no clue why he could see Chanyeol but even now, he wishes desperately that Chanyeol was still around.

Chanyeol also puts his feet into the water. He is surprised that he could also feel the water. He also feels the warm breeze. He can’t explain the feeling of the water flowing through his feet, but it’s interesting. He leans forward, gawking at his feet and Baekhyun’s feet in the water. The water flows around Baekhyun’s feet and right through his. He can’t help, but feel inferior.

“How did it feel?”

“How did what feel?”

Baekhyun is too scared to look at Chanyeol, so he continues to look up at the sky, still leaning back on his hands. He takes a short breath then says, “…Dying. Was it…painful?” He swallows the spit building in the back of his throat. He finally gets the courage to look at Chanyeol, but when he does, Chanyeol is not looking at him. He’s looking straight ahead at the glowing sun. Baekhyun is pitiful.

Everyone knew Chanyeol’s heart wasn’t very strong, but they didn’t think he would die so young. Chanyeol was always so happy because he knew he didn’t have a long time to live and thought his life would be better spent happily rather than being upset. But even Chanyeol thought he would live longer than this.

“It was scary,” Chanyeol truthfully answers. He sighs. “My eyes closed,” he continues, biting his lip. “And then, my heartbeat started to slow down and then…it stopped entirely. I was still thinking of something even after my heart stopped.” Baekhyun can see Chanyeol’s Adam’s apple bob up and down. He breathes through his nose. His heart itself feels likes it stopped.

Baekhyun speaks, “Must’ve been scary…but what were you thinking of?”

Chanyeol does not dare tell Baekhyun just yet.

“It’s a secret.” It remains quiet between the two. There’s a warm feeling in the air. It’s quite nostalgic, they both think. The cicadas are humming and the birds are chirping. They both have mutual feelings that it feels like they’re the only two in the world. Everything is still golden.

Baekhyun thinks he’s going crazy. There must be something off about him because he seems perfect in almost every way, but only one person thinks he’s perfect in every way…and that’s Baekhyun.

“I don’t even know how I found myself in this situation.”

“What do you mean?”

“After my heart stopped and my mind stopped working, I suddenly found myself looking at my dead body. I was standing right next to my hospital bed. I watched the doctors try to revive my body. I watched my parents break down right there. I tried to speak to them. I tried to touch them, but my hands went right through them and my voice wasn’t heard.” Chanyeol scrunches his nose up. He sees that Baekhyun has taken his feet out of the water, so he does the same. “It’s…almost a miracle…I’m so relieved and happy that you…you, of all people, can hear me and see me.” Chanyeol is smiling at Baekhyun who turns his head and sees the delighted expression on Chanyeol’s face.

Baekhyun laughs. “What’s wrong with me?”

“There’s nothing wrong with you! I’m more than happy that you can see me! I feel so blessed…but what’s the point of being blessed since I’m already dead?”

Baekhyun sighs. There’s a small gust of wind and the leaves in the trees rustle. The sky is painted pale colours. Baekhyun bends over the edge and fixes his eyes on his reflection in the water. Through the surface of the water, he sees a flock of birds fly by above them.

“Do you think I can touch you?” Chanyeol questions with a gentle voice. “Do you think you’d feel me?”

“Maybe…If I’m already able to see and hear you, I’d probably be able to feel you.”

Chanyeol with a hesitant voice asks, “Can I…Can I touch you?”

Baekhyun doesn’t say a word, but he knows that Chanyeol takes his silence as a yes. Chanyeol takes a deep breath and lifts his hand up. Baekhyun doesn’t look at him and keeps his eyes on the horizon.

Chanyeol is scared. He’s hesitating. He knows that if his hand goes right through Baekhyun, the heart of his spirit would break. But he’ll never know if he doesn’t try.

So, Chanyeol moves his arm forward slowly. He looks up at Baekhyun who has his eyes shut. He concentrates on his hand again. He places his hand on Baekhyun’s back but he cannot feel anything. He shakes his head, his hair flopping. He pushes his hand past and it goes right through Baekhyun’s body.

Baekhyun doesn’t feel anything and from that, he knows that Chanyeol can’t feel him. He wonders why. If I can hear him and see him, why can’t I feel him? Chanyeol thinks the same.

Chanyeol immediately brings his hand back. There’s an expression of disappointment on his face. Baekhyun opens his eyes and turns to look at Chanyeol. “Huh,” Baekhyun huffs, “I guess it was too good to be true.” Chanyeol nods his head sadly.

Baekhyun’s feet dangle off the edge and in the water once again. Chanyeol imitates his action, though he knows it doesn’t feel the same. Baekhyun is looking over the water. His elbows rest on his knees and his chin in one of his hands.

 “You know,” Chanyeol begins to say, “They say that spirits still linger around on Earth if there’s something still troubling them. If there is something they still need to do, then they need to stay here and do it before moving onto the next life.” Chanyeol is watching Baekhyun stare at his reflection on the surface of the water. Chanyeol looks down and meets Baekhyun’s eyes, but knows that Baekhyun cannot see him through the acting mirror.

Baekhyun then draws his attention away from the water. He looks at Chanyeol with distant eyes. “Then, are you still here because something is troubling you?” he asks cautiously.

Chanyeol chuckles lifelessly. He shrugs, “Maybe it’s better if I stay here longer than I should.”

Baekhyun’s eyebrows furrow. He doesn’t understand what Chanyeol is saying. “What do you mean?”

Chanyeol laughs again. “Nothing,” he says, “I don’t know what it is so I’ll be around for a while. Until I figure out what it is, I’ll be here.” He ends off with a sigh. Baekhyun is still confused. He wishes that Chanyeol would tell him then maybe he could help. There’s something in his heart telling him that Chanyeol has a good reason to keep his mouth shut if he really did mean he needs to stay here for a long time.

Chanyeol is not confused at all. He knows exactly what he wants to do before he leaves though he wishes greatly that he doesn’t have to. It is not entirely what Chanyeol has to do but more so, what Baekhyun has to do.

There’re tears in Baekhyun’s eyes, but they don’t spill over. He feels very sorry for Chanyeol, but at the time, he doesn’t know how to help.