“Shindong-ssi, what are you feeling right now? How do you feel being in ‘We Got Married’? Tell the camera your thoughts.”

Honestly, I don’t know. I only volunteered to be in this fake show to please the management and to get over the fact that I’m single right now. I’m dumped by my girlfriend and I’m totally heart-broken.

I cleared my throat and began to lie, er, act.

“Frankly, I was a little overwhelmed. But Leeteuk, like a good leader, gave me tips and advices, so I guess I’m feeling okay. I’m a little nervous though. No one would tell me who my wife will be. I mean, seriously. Where have you seen a marriage where you don’t know who your wife will be?”

“Dara-ssi, what are you feeling right now? How do you feel being in ‘We Got Married’? Tell the camera your thoughts.”

I hate Seungri and me getting casted in this show is entirely his fault. It’s a miracle he’s still alive. If he hadn’t babbled my secret on Strong Heart, I wouldn’t be here facing that camera. I hate this show.

I channeled my inner aegyo and began to speak.

“I’m excited. ‘We Got Married’ is a totally new experience for me. But I’m nervous too. Kya! Can’t you whisper to me who my husband will be?”