Warnings: Mentions of death (Non-explicit)/Language

YOUR POV

You have to call it at 16:03:21. You watch the doctor place the sheet over her face with an unwavering expression, willing yourself not to look down at the limp hand whose fingers, you know, are just barely brushing against your coat. You feel their touch heavily though, ice spreading from that point on your body upwards, churning inside of you and gripping your heart so tightly you can barely breathe.

       “You did well, Nayoung-sii.” The head surgeon pats you on the shoulder, leaving without a glance back. For a moment, you admire him for his collectedness.

        And then you hate him. Did you even know her name? You ing bastard. You grit your teeth for a moment. You know it isn’t the doctor’s fault, and in fact you don’t blame him at all. But something about the fact that the doctor doesn’t even know this child, doesn’t understand who they've just lost, it angers you more than any failed surgery…

            …It feels so lonely, you decide, for such a precious life to be handled by complete strangers. To be lost at their hands, and not the hands of a loved one.

            You pause as some of the other nurses evacuate, sniffling. You have a few minutes before the others come to prepare the body, and you shift so that the hand is no longer brushing you, instead walking around to the other side, closer to her head.

            Li-Nah’s head. Might as well face it, you coward. You take in a deep, shuddering breath, a few hysterical chuckles escaping. Here you’d been walking on eggshells because of the close-call yesterday with Jae-bum, and out of nowhere Li-Nah had relapsed.

            “Code blue! Code blue!” Your pager had gone off in time with the cries sounding down the hall, and from there it had been rushing to surgery, checking resuscitation forms when she flat-lined…

            Oh god. You clutch the siderails of the hospital bed, willing yourself not to cry. They’d been playing with dolls yesterday, she’d been stable…

            You knew you were getting into this when you decided on pediatrics. You remind yourself sharply. You knew you wouldn’t be able to save them all.

            You walk out as the other nurses arrive, backing out with one last glance at the child you’d gotten to know.

            For one moment, you wish you were the head surgeon, who was simply on-call for surgeries.  You wish you'd never met Li-Nah. You wish you didn't feel anything.

            The Head Physician takes one look at you and sends you home, despite your protests. He’s always been kind to you, watching out for you when you’d first come to Korea to do your Residency and then offering you a permanent job upon its completion.

            As you pack your things, you think of your safe warm bed. Your eyes are already starting to droop, but with a jolt you realize you can’t go home, not right now. There are pictures of you and the kids…

            I can’t deal with this right now.

            You pull out your phone, scrolling through your contacts, looking for a place to crash. You have a spare set of clothes in the duffel bag in your locker, and a few friends live in the area. It's a little early though…

            Kona Umma~ Appears in your contacts, and you eye it for a moment before opening a new text message.

            Perfect.

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            “Ah…Can I buy you a drink?”

            You blink slowly, not understanding the question. When you do, your eyes widen and your mouth opens to say God, YES. Your hands grip the table as you realize how badly you just want to go get drunk and forget about all of this. And you wouldn’t even be the one who instigated the drinking, if this guy's offering…

            You eye him from underneath your eyelashes, and startle as you realize who you're staring at.

            Kyuhyun.

            It wakes you up like a jolt of caffeine. Your breath leaves you in a whoosh, and you sit there, gaping at him. He begins to fidget, but you hardly notice, still trying to wrap your mind around the fact that Kyuhyun (Kyuhyun. What? KYUHYUN) has just offered to buy you a drink.

            This is all beginning to sound like a crummy T-Pain song that you may or may not have listened to throughout all of a college. If the next part is We in the bed like ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ooh you think you might not be able to say no.

            Dammit, I’m calling . You say to yourself sternly. We are not sleeping with a guy just because you have one or five posters of him in your room. The fantasies are to remain fantasies, you are not making any skin-to-skin contact, and for the remainder of this conversation you ARE GOING TO IMAGINE HIM WITH THAT BOW IN HIS HAIR BECAUSE THAT IS THE LEAST MASCULINE PHOTO WE HAVE OF HIM.

            “Jwesonghamnida.” You glance up and stare at the Super Junior celebrity that is now full-on bowing to you. You jerk your head around, but no one is in the coffee shop. You again stare at him in mounting horror as he repeats himself.

            “This morning…that was my fault. I take full responsibility. Please, let me.” You stutter that it was fine, certainly not thinking of how exactly he can take responsibility. REMEMBER THE BOW, THE BOOOW.

            He smiles at you, and the bow rips itself into little tiny pieces before lighting itself on fire. I’m sweating because of an imaginary fire. Ok, glad to see we’re completely sane here.

            “No, really. Let me buy you a drink.” He insists again. He grins at you. “Noona, it’s the least I can do.” He walks away from you, just missing your mouth drop open.

            Noona? Your eye twitches. Do I seriously look old enough to be his noona? He’s a year older than me!! You sigh, rubbing the bridge of your nose.

            You glance at his back, watching him talk to one of the regulars. Oh…he was talking about coffee, not a beer. You pause for a moment, glancing down at the table. He probably wouldn’t ask out a ‘noona’ anyway. Haha, got ahead of myself, there. Mortified, you feel your eyes water. Quickly, you wipe at your eyes, blinking any tears back.

            God, he didn’t see that, right?? No, he's still talking to the regular. You observe him silently, suddenly noticing the empty coffee shop. I must’ve walked in before it opened again. Geez, I need to stop being so absent-minded. That would explain why people aren’t mobbing him, though…

            Thinking of the mob reminds you of how you'd acted. Ugh, I blew up at a kid in front of him. Real mature, Nayoung. And calling him a ‘student’…You grimace, flushing in embarrassment.

            “Here you go, Noona! Drink up!” You stare blankly at the coffee in front of you, before looking at Kyu, who smiles encouragingly. You reach for the cup, blowing before taking a quick sip.

            “Ah! Hot!” You mutter. Kyuhyun snickers, and you frown.

            “You try it then!” You push it towards him, and he grins wider, grabbing the cup and taking a gulp without blowing. He smiled at you, and you pout.

            “You must have an iron tongue.” He nods, looking vaguely triumphant, and you get up for a minute to grab some milk to cool the coffee.

            You turn around and see him pawing at his tongue, wincing.

            “Ah-ha!” You say. Kyuhyun pouts this time as you rush at him, grinning. You hand him a small milk container and he shakes his head, folding his arms.

            “Oh come on, it must hurt. Just pour this, it will help with the sting, it’s nice and cool.” You coax, and he makes a face before taking the container, downing it like one would a shot before sighing in relief. This time you snicker.

            “Aish. Embarassing.” He mutters, and you smile at him. Your eyes meet.

            “Ah, this…” You find your voice and gesture to the coffee. Kyuhyun tenses, obviously expecting you to reject his offer to pay. Instead, you smile. “Gamsahabnida.”

            He relaxes. “Please enjoy it.” He says softly. You take a long sip, and he watches you.

            “Your name…Kim Nayoung, correct?” You flush before nodding. Kyuhyun said my name. At me. For me. And it’s not a dream. Unless it’s like inception. AM I IN INCEPTION RIGHT NOW?

            “Nayoung-ssi?” You snap out of your mental breakdown and run through your conversation, trying not to dwell on the fact that he has again said your name. At you. For you.

            “Oh, de. That’s my name.” He nods, before pausing.

            “My name is Kyu Shang. I’m a new employee here. Please take care of me.” He introduces himself and you stare at him, bewildered. He begins to look nervous, so you quickly extend your hand.

            “Nice to meet you.” You say softly. He repeats it back, and you try not to dwell on the feeling of his hand holding yours, instead focusing on his lies. Kyu Shang? New employee? What’s going on?

            “Nayoung-ssi! How are you?” You and Kyuhyun both greet Misun-ssi as she comes over exuberantly. She starts to berate you in typical ahjumma/umma-fashion, and you let her do so, nodding at her scolding with a patient smile. From what you understand, Misun-ssi’s own children have long since left on their own adventures, and are far too busy to stop by more than once in a while. In turn, it has left Misun-ssi a little lonely, and if mothering someone helps fill that gap a little bit, you will gladly allow her to do so.

            The three of you converse for a few minutes. You can swear that you see Misun-ssi mouthing something at Kyuhyun when she thinks you're not looking, her own expression very irritated. Kyuhyun seems to also be mouthing something at her. They know each other, then. That would explain how he got the job in the first place. But surely she knows about Super Junior then?

            After a little bit, Misun-ssi leaves, giving you both a quick wave before getting back to work, scaring the regulars a little bit as she pops in between them.

            “Um…Nayoung-ssi.” You look to Kyuhyun, who for once doesn’t seem to be able to look you in the eye. Instead, he's fiddling with his hands.

            “My…That is, Misun-ssi’s son. Would you like to…meet him?” Your brow furrows. Well of course, you've always wanted to meet Misun-ssi’s son, but…oh. Oh.

            “Could you mean, like a date?” Kyuhyun nods in confirmation, seemingly embarrassed. He looks up at you then, waiting for your answer with wide eyes.

            “I…I don’t think I could. Not right now, anyway. I’m sorry.” You apologize, then rush to explain. You're so busy as a doctor, you don’t really have any time. To yourself, you admit that the idea scares you a little. Dating, god, you haven’t really dated anyone since college. You just aren’t ready for that, especially with someone you haven't even met.

            “Ah it’s okay.” Kyuhyun seems to really mean it. He looks at you happily, and you wonder for a second if you're being played. This iss surely just one big, huge, prank, because otherwise how can it make sense that the celebrity you've crushed on since high school iss asking you out on a date…for another guy. Seriously, someone out there has a twisted, twisted sense of humor.

            “Misun-ssi just wanted me to ask you. She thinks you’d be a great catch, noona.” He smiles at you, and you wonder why he iss still calling you that. Your eyes widen as you wonder whether this is a part of the act.

            “Kyuhy-shang-ssi,” You save yourself. “Where do you go to college?” He smiles at you.

            “The nearby one, by the bridge, you know?” He answers smoothly. Your eyebrows rise. “I’m majoring in dancing arts. And you noona? Where do you work?”

            You answer him absentmindedly. So, he's pretending to be an actual student, which explains why he's been calling you noona. But why is he pretending in the first place??

            “Noona, I’m done working for today. Would you like to grab some ramyun with me? My treat.” He grins at you.

            “I…I’ll pay.” You agree, still staring. He doesn’t protest, instead smiling at your acceptance. He stands up, taking your duffle bag easily. You stand up as well, still watching him in a dazed manner as he cleans up the table. He barks out a goodbye to Misun-ssi, who waves at you both, before taking your hand and pulling you out the door.

            I’m really going to go have dinner with Kyuhyun. You think, staring at their joined hands as Kyuhyun leads you into the streets, placing a pair of sunglasses on his face. No. I’m going to go have dinner with Kyu Shang. You watch him chatter freely, and feel something like determination settle in your mind.

            I still have no idea why you’re doing this, but okay. A small, dark grin flits onto your face. Game on.

            You don’t think about the hospital even once.

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