Questions (un)answered
Earthly Secrets
vi. questions (un)answered
Nana's expression was solemn and yet Kris can see the faint hint of turmoil in her eyes. He said nothing, sharing with her the silence of the dying day.
It felt like time stretched for eternity back in the circular room but Kris knew that it had only been minutes. The afternoon sun had sunk lower into the faraway horizon, like a bladed disc cutting through the sky. Everything was quiet save for his breathing. His eyes wandered onto the reflected ray of sun on the marble steps. There was something in the staircase of the Cloister that gives him comfort. Even before, whenever he felt sorrowful, he would simply sit on one of the steps and stare into the vastness in front of him. One too many times, he had observed that other Whisperers felt that way too – even his Khaka Changmin, though he usually lounges during deep evenings. Perhaps, the staircase typify them, the Whisperers, the bridge between the safety of the Cloister and the challenges of the outside world – like how they were half of another and how they were trapped in between – forever.
“Are you scared of her?” He said after a while, his voice sounding tiny and fragile. She faced him, her eyes sad but hopeful.
“A bit.” She then placed her hand atop his knee. “But I think she's just as scared as us.”
The comfortable silence went on until it was broken by Nana's voice.
“I think I'll go now. Khaka Changmin might wonder what's taking me so long to return.” She stood up, her actions ever so graceful. “You should go back, Kris. Whatever it may be that is happening, I'm sure we will find an answer.”
She gave him a comforting smile and laid out her hand in front of him. He took it and stood up beside her. They walked silently back into the hall, hands holding tightly onto each other. They reached the huge columns opening into opposite directions and Nana tugged her hand free from his.
“Go.” Her voice resonated all over the hall. She did not wait for an answer as she turned around and marched into the hallway to the library. Kris watched in silence as her form disappeared into the lobby, very much like how the dimness of the hall swallowed up the lengthened bleeding shadows cast by the dying sun on the cold marble floor.
Sooyoung immediately rose to her feet when she heard the door open. Standing on the door with one hand still on the knob, Kris looked rather surprised – though the fear she had seen on his face minutes before he fled wasn't there anymore.
“Whatever it was that I upset you with, I'm sorry.” She didn't understand why she felt the need to ask for an apology but she did so anyway.
The Whisperer only gave her a blank glare. She made a step towards his direction but upon remembering his reaction the last time she did that, she remained rooted on where she was standing. For a moment, none of them spoke – her, looking down on her feet and Kris, still standing halfway through the door.
She raised her head when she heard the door shut close; just in time to see the boy take a deep breath as he leveled his gaze to her eyes.
“I'm sorry about a while ago.” She repeated.
“It's okay.” The assertiveness in his voice was gone, replace by placid note of caution. “I shouldn’t have acted that way.”
He bit his bottom lip, an action Sooyoung recognized for nervousness.
“I want to walk over to where you are and give you a hug.” She said before she could help herself, and then felt the need to slap herself when she saw Kris wince. “I mean, I must have done something deeply troubling for you to react that way. I must have said something quite normal in our world which isn't in yours, or I might have spoken too harshly with you out of panic and for that I am deeply sorry.” She was spewing out every possible reason she thought that would justify what had happened. “I know we have just met and natural laws imply that we are excused of the privilege to trust each other and yet, I want to be truthful. I do not want to complicate things by posing words that do not really match my intention so I am telling the truth. In return, I want you to do just the same to me too.”
Kris stared at her dumbfounded.
“Please tell me what is wrong.” She said as she caught her breath after her long speech. “I don't like it when something isn't right and I'm smacked right at the center of it.”
It sounded like a helpless plea and she saw a guilty look cross the boy's features. She only realized that he had moved when he was already standing right in front of her.
“There's something wrong with you.” It was the most honest statement he had ever told her and though she had challenged him on learning about the truth, she could not help but feel shocked with his choice of words.
Kris waited for a more convulsive reaction. When there was none, he heaved a sigh and sat down on the floor. He looked like a lost child with his head buried in his hands.
Sooyoung snapped out of her trance after a while and sat beside him, careful of the distance between them.
“What do you mean?” She wanted to pat his back and console him, to help ease out the burden that he seemed to have difficulty carrying at that moment. And yet a part of her brain told her to just hold still, to let him tell what he wanted whenever he was ready.
He simply shrugged his shoulders and Sooyoung had to fight her wanting to touch him once again. There was this part of her that was obsessed about fixing things, that even though most of the times, the problem wasn't hers to deal with, she finds it hard to fight the urge to clear things out and resolve it. She called it 'strong affiance with her moral responsibility'. Jessica called it nosiness.
“Well, since you have already said it straight to my face that I'm a freak of nature, you might as well tell everything.” She tried to make it sound like a joke. “I can be very touchy and my friends even say that I can be too motherly so I say you tell me what it is that bothers you because right now I'm fighting the urge to give you a hug and tell you it's okay because you might run away again and I will never know what it really is that bothers you.”
At that, Kris finally lifted his head and looked straight at her.
“Something is wrong with you.” He repeated, and continued in half-whisper. “And I think I am the reason behind it.”
Her brows furrowed in confusion and as if on cue, Kris poured out his story.
“Go on. Do it!” Tao was swinging on a drooping branch; his expression arranged into a perfect leer.
They were under the shade of a huge tree, its aged roots like paunchy worms racing against each other towards the bank of a small stream. The stream slithered along huge boulders and shrubbery only to vanish into an earthy bend, on which above it stood the towering roofs of a villa.
“Aren't we supposed to stay in Dunya?” Kris nervously played with his cloak as he looked at his friend.
“We are not that far. We're still here by the portal.”
“But I'm not yet allowed-”
The Djinn jumped from the branch and landed gracefully beside his friend. “Come on, you're old enough. My father allows me to cross portals and I'm younger than you.” He was starting to look bored.
“I haven't passed the Rite of Passage yet.”
“Who cares about that stupid rite? You could have went through it if only it wasn't set only once per seven years.” His black pupils grew larger as he spoke. “Besides, they've been teaching you for ages. You are going to do it eventually,” he paused, the next words coated with malice, “why not do it now?”
Seven-year old Kris swallowed nervously before transferring his gaze to the young girl playing on the opposite bank of the stream. The hem of her skirt was blotted wet as she wallowed knee-deep into the water. Her pure smile and nonchalant air bore no signs of even sensing the two towering creatures of a child studying her from afar.
Kris was already halfway across the stream when a dragonfly fluttered past him and landed on a rock right before the girl. Her eyes disappeared into half-moons as she giggled and bent down, fingers outstretched in an attempt to catch the flighty insect. Strands of her hair fell in front of her eyes and she pushed them back, tucking them into the shell of her ear, with her free hand.
The action was portentous. Tao slid closer and looked at him with his eyes the color of midnight. “Go on.”
He moved towards her, the hiss of the stream silencing his advancing steps. With bated breath, he leaned forward and muttered his learned words in her ear. What happened next was something neither he nor Tao expected. The girl went pale, her eyes growing to the size of pingpong balls, and started crying loudly.
The young Whisperer stood terrified. He looked around for his friend only to find himself left alone, standing in the middle of the stream, staring at the light branches of the huge tree swaying in the breeze.
“A-are you saying that I am the young girl on the stream?” Sooyoung asked after a long stretch of silence.
Kris drew in a huge breath and looked straight at her. He was still coming to terms with himself, unable to believe that he had told her his deepest secret. Not that it is much of a secret anymore, with Tao, Changmin, Nana – and now, Sooyoung – knowing about it. But then again, it's not as if he can hide it forever.
“Are you not?” He kept his eyes glued on hers.
“I-I don't remember playing in a stream back when I was younger.” Her voice was small. “Are you sure I am that girl?”
She was looking at him with hopeful eyes and Kris suddenly felt like he was uncertain, himself. “I...” He dropped his gaze and looked down on the floor. “I wasn't sure.”
Sooyoung was about to open but Kris went on.
“She does not look like you.” He said softly. “But Khaka Changmin said that she might be you. She must be you.” Suddenly, he sounded tired and weary. His head was still bent and the rigidity of his shoulders, the firmness of his stance, was gone. He looked very much like a child.
Sooyoung bit her lip. She badly wanted to console him. Instead, she reached for her bag and took something inside it. “Would you like a sandwich?”
Kris raised his head and sat face-to-face with a tissue-covered lump that was the girl's excuse for a sandwich. “It's liver. I don't like it all that much so there are only two bites.” She gave him a guilty smile.
It was so random, her handing out a half-eaten sandwich to him in the middle of a serious conversation, he thought, that he failed to notice the smile that had crossed his face as the idea sank in his mind. The thin smile simmered into a snicker which eventually grew into laughter. She stared at him confusedly for a second before she found herself laughing along with him.
“You look better when you're smiling.” She casually commented after the laughter died down.
Kris, who was sniffing the bread, looked stunned at her remark. He felt the familiar warm feeling he had learned to associate with her climb up his cheeks. For the lack of a saner reply, he simply tore a huge chunk off the sandwich and ate it.
He can feel the girl looking at him and he tried his best to look as if he was absorbed with the food. It was the first time he had eaten Human food and yet he had no second thoughts sinking his teeth into it. Dunya inhabitants were not prohibited to do so and yet Whisperers simply had no interest on what they think was a very human object to consume. Humanity, after all, was the last of a Whisperer's ideal trait.
“You seem to like liver.” Her nose wrinkled as she talked.
She waited for him to finish eating before she went on.
“Am I not allowed to touch any of you?” Her voice was too soft when she said it; Kris wouldn't have heard if he was sitting a few centimeters farther.
He said nothing, which she took as a sign for her to press on.
“I noticed when Nana held my hand... She looked terrified.” The tender note of sadness was apparent as she said the words. Her eyes fluttered open in alarm when she felt something warm enclose her hand. Sooyoung looked at Kris, to their connected hands, and then back at his face. She saw that he was just as surprised as she was.
The Whisperer let out his rare smile once again as he spoke.
“I guess that answers the question.”
Sooyoung was still in hysterics when Nana brought her to the room where she will stay for the night.
Everything was going well between her and Kris after the sandwich incident. The awkwardness had vanished and every smile and laughter flowed naturally after that. Subsequently, all smiles and laughter died out immediately when Changmin stepped inside the room.
He studied the room in a glance, eyes landing on Sooyoung, and spoke his verdict. “You’re sleeping here tonight.”
Silence met his statement. It was only when Kris stood up and gave his delayed greeting when Sooyoung flared up. Changmin reasoned that it took him a while to figure out what he was looking for in the library which was why he had only dropped by the room where Kris and Sooyoung was waiting when the moon was already up in the sky.
“It appears to me that you have lost track of time as well. Having fun, perhaps?” He said it with his usual blank face and yet Kris went visibly pink.
“Nana will fetch you here, Human. Kris, follow me.” The older Whisperer said nothing else and turned back towards the door with Kris following on his heels.
“I don’t understand why I need to stay for the night.” She sat down grudgingly on the side of her bed. “It’s not like there’s a curfew here, is there? The last time I went here, I was able to get through the portal and that was almost midnight.”
Nana was silent as she took out a stack of pillows on top of the closet and set them neatly on the bed. Sooyoung was still muttering under her breath when Nana asked her quietly.
“Do you have a parent?”
The other girl stopped talking. After a short pause, she answered. “None.”
“Then there’s no one who would look for you then.”
Sooyoung gaped openmouthed at her. “Nana.” She expected the Whisperer to wince very much like how Kris did when she addressed him by name, but Nana continued on with her task as if she had heard nothing. “I don’t have anything against you but I have a home and I’m not fond of staying at strangers’ abodes.”
Nana’s reply was cryptic. “The Cloister won’t be any strangers’ abode to you after this.”
Sooyoung gave her a look, prompting her to continue. The Whisperer finished straightening out the creases on the sheet before sitting beside her.
“We have a lot of questions, Sooyoung. Questions that we cannot answer alone.” She took a deep breath before continuing. “This is why we need your help.”
“What help can I give you? I know nothing about you.” She was telling the truth and she can see that Nana understood her point.
“The fact that you are here is enough help.”
She gave her a confused look.
“Sooyoung, we cannot risk getting you in and out of the portal as often as possible. The night you followed Kris here, something changed. I do not know what it is exactly. All I know is that the Jurist warned Bhafa Soumm of imbalance.” She heaved out a sigh. “Khaka Changmin won’t tell us straight but I’m sure he has a reason.”
“What imbalance? Aren’t the djinns quite fond of luring people here anyway?”
Nana looked momentarily surprised at her statement but then a look of understanding crossed her features and she gave out a small smile. “I can see that Kris had told you a lot about Dunya.”
“I only forced him to.” She said in a hushed tone.
“Humans lured by Djinns in Dunya were tracked by the Jurist. It goes the same when they were sent back to your world through the Portal. I am not sure of this but I think that is it because you got here following a Whisperer, not a Djinn, and that you were able to go back to your world without having your memories erased. Perhaps the Jurist was warned of an unwarranted use of the Portal.” She shook her head and silver-spun strands of her hair fell gracefully on her shoulders. “Maybe that’s why they summoned Bhafa Soumm.”
Both females were silent for a while.
“But why would you bring me back? Wouldn’t that alert them once again?”
She received a helpless look from Nana. “Khaka Changmin said that you must be brought back.”
“Who is Changmin in this place and why do you seem to follow everything he says? He sounds so dictatorial to me.”
“Khaka Changmin.” Nana corrected her.
“Fine. Khaka Changmin. I don’t even know what Khaka and Bhafa means.”
“Bhafa Soumm is in charge of the Cloister. His title as Bhafa means that he is our mentor. Khaka means senior. It is the opposite of Ahree. Khaka Changmin is our Khaka Sahl-Langun. It means he was the most senior of us all.” Nana recited.
“He looks just about Kris' age.” Sooyoung said inattentively.
“Khaka Changmin is older than Kris by two years. He isn't only a senior to us, we consider him a mentor.” A note of fascination was evident on her tone. “We were of different batch during the Kab'gunting.” Sooyoung's forehead creased to which Nana explained further. “It's a Rite of Passage done once every seven years. You must have observed that we are alone in the Cloister. That's because the young Whisperers in the Cloister are away for a fortnight with Bhafa Soumm right now for their Kab'gunting.”
“You say you're of a different batch. You mean you attended your Kab- your Rite of Passage, seven years after Changmin did?”
Sooyoung thought she saw Nana wince when she casually referred to the older Whisperer without his title.
“Yes. I was nine during our Kab'gunting. Kris was ten.”
“I thought he was only a few years older. Why di-”
“He was five when he went through the Rite. Once you've been on the Cloister and the Rite of Passage comes along, you are required to attend it no matter how old you are.” Nana gave a climactic pause and Sooyoung thought she looked like a proud mother as she continued. “He was the only one left in his batch.”
Sooyoung's jaw fell open as a realization hit her. Nana, Kris, and Changmin were the only Whisperers she had seen who were of about the same age as hers. The rest of their kind she had seen roaming in the Human World looked no less like children.
“You. Your kind... you...” Die young. She could not bring herself to say the words. “Is that why there were only a few of you adult Whisperers here?”
Her new-found friend gave her a small smile. “It is okay, Sooyoung. You can say it. I am accustomed to it already.” She exhaled rather sharply and Sooyoung thought she was lying. “Death is a constant companion for a Whisperer.”
Sooyoung said nothing. She looked down on her hands and let the silence stretch longer.
“Nana,” the female Whisperer cocked her head on one side as she looked at her, “why are you telling me this?”
It was a simple question and yet it took the silver-haired girl a long while to answer. Sooyoung opened to say that she can choose not to reply but she looked up, as if reaching a conclusion, and spoke quietly.
“We suspect that you might be a Whisperer.”
Sounds of footsteps were heard from outside the hall but Sooyoung remained motionless. After what seemed to be an eternity, she found her voice.
“Me? Why?”
The look Nana gave her was something between pity and concern. “You are obviously not a Djinn. You do not have a Mark and yet you look perfectly Human. Seers, even with their bloodline related to the banished Taginep'n, still have Marks.” With the most uninterested expression on, Nana placed her finger on the neckline of Sooyoung's shirt and pulled it down swiftly, exposing a hefty amount of skin on her chest. The latter, too shocked about what had transpired, simply stared.
Nana gave out a sigh as she pulled back her finger; the action snapping Sooyoung awake. She quickly wrapped her arms around her chest and gave Nana a look of crisp fear. The Whisperer did not seem bothered with her reaction as she continued with her speech.
“Humans and Seers have Marks either on their neck, inner arm, and chest. You have no Mark on all three places.” She gave her a small smile. “Whisperers do not have Marks too, you know.”
Sooyoung blinked as things started to make sense in her head.
“And is it also because I can see you?” The Whisperer simply nodded. “So you mean, you think that I belong with you?”
“It's a possibility. You were raised in the Human World which must be why you do not have any idea that you are one. But there is something else.”
It was barely louder than a whisper and yet the slight note of anxiety was apparent on Nana's statement.
“Something else?” Sooyoung echoed.
“Yes.” The Whisperer took a deep breath. “You can do things.”
“Things? What things?”
The discussion was disrupted when Kris walked into the room.
“Khaka Changmin says dinner is ready. Come.”
Kris opened the door and Sooyoung saw that the other Whisperer was on the hallway, perhaps waiting for them. She looked back at Nana with questioning eyes. Like dominoes falling after one another, another set of questions sprung on Sooyoung's mind and yet, the questions remained unanswered as the female Whisperer only smiled silently in reply.
A/N: I think this is a boring chapter but I hope this chap will clarify some questions. We can now start playing SPOT-THE-HIDDEN-OTPs. Also, I haz new poster. YAY! :)))
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