I sat quietly on the large leather couch of the boys' living room. It was 6:15am, I had my Starbucks venti double espresso in my hand. I needed the caffeine. I needed it every other hour to at least keep up and put up with the boys. They were having breakfast hastily, they had to promote their new song on the morning radio at 8am. I didn't dare sit at the table with them. They`d only pick on me endlessly.

But i`d heard everything they said. I listened to their whole conversation.

"Hyung, how do you do it? How do you keep it a secret?" Junho asks our leader.

"Keep what a secret?" Jaebeom replies casually.

"That you have a girlfriend........." Junho trails off.

"Plus more." I heard Taecyeon add.

I could still hear that soft mumble Taecyeon added in above the clanging silverwear of the 7 beast idols in a rush to finish their breakfast.

I sighed. Park Jaebeom and his girls were one of my bigger problems. I took a big gulp of my coffee. The heat burning my throat was nothing I couldnt handle anymore. Not after managing 2PM for 9 months now. Don't worry though, I've known these boys for a long time. Not too long ago I was a mere On-the-Job-Trainee under Minjae (the boys' ex-manager) so, I was there ever since their debut. Now here I am...on the top spot. Why do I feel like I was downgraded more than promoted, then?

"It aint a secret to you guys." Jay says. I'm SO sure he shoved something in his mouth.


 

"Of course it`s not...we dont have secrets from each other, right?" Junho sounded smug.

"Barely..." Taecyeon mumbles. But it was something I caught.

"What`s with the sudden outburst of questions, Junho?" Taec asks impatiently.

You know, I've suggested more than a dozen times for Taecyeon to go to anger management classes. The first time, he actually spilled my drink on me. The second time, he laughed and walked away. Sometime around the 7th time I asked him, he said through gritted teeth, red-faced (and this i clearly, remember) "I'm workin on it, okay? Damn it Liya. Leave it alone. I can handle it!" Yep. It looked like he was resisting the urge to punch me. And I swear, if I werent a girl. I wouldve been black and blue in the face.

But in Taec`s defense, at least he was being a gentleman and remembered I actually am a girl.

"Junho just wants a girl, too..." Wooyoung says.

"Yeah? And how'd you know that?" Taec asks.

"Please. His voice is pleading......." Wooyoung simply answers.

The boy is too nonchalant for his own good, I swear. If this house were burning, and he was on the phone with a friend, he'd just say over the line, "Oh yeah, the house is burning..." or something to that extent. Wooyoung`s passiveness isn't a totally huge problem for me, though. But his laziness, in everything, is something else altogether. It gives me a major headache at how hard it is to have Wooyoung do anything.

"Ey, shut up!" Junho shoots at Wooyoung angrily.

"Yo! Dont fight!" Jay says, his Seattle accent becoming really thick.

I was pretty surprised Chansung, Nichkhun and Junsu were silent. Junsu would normally voice out his side, and Nichkhun would've said something too. Nothing that`d make the situation better, of course. I bet Chansung`s eating. That`d be more like him.

"Hey, just my observation. Why else would you ask?" Wooyoung defended himself.

"Tell me though," came Khun`s tenor voice, "if it`s not what Wooyoung says, then what is it?" He asks Junho. I knew that boy wouldn`t be able to keep his mouth shut.

Nichkhun makes sure he has something to say in every conversation. Kind or not, helpful or not, little or a lot. He just always has to have a say. It`s just how he is. He would never let go of it, if he didn`t get something in a conversation. A lot may now know this, but Nichkhun is a very proud person. He has high standards and goals for himself, and he has put 2PM in a very high context, in his own views. It started out as a motivating reason, then it just became a vice.

Nichkhun`s put his worries before the team. Now, it`s always Khun comes first. Second, if he doesn`t do a good job, he`ll bring others down with him. Nichkhun is also unable to say sorry for the mistakes he made- if he really believes that what he did wasn`t wrong, it`s hard for him to acknowledge the faults he makes. And I`m also fearing that his pride for his homeland, Thailand, is overcoming his goal as a singer already. Recently, I`ve noticed Nichkhun would rather promote Thailand then perform as a 2PM member. There`s something going on in that head of his and I can`t figure it out. We`re all already getting annoyed at his vanity...

...but what can we do...fans love them Khun`s face time.

"Yeah, tell us..." Wooyoung said in a dead-panned tone.

"I didn`t say you were wrong, Wooyoung. I just told you to shut up." Junho retorted.

"You tell a person who was correct to shut up?" Nichkhun wondered.

"GUYS. Seriously...why are we arguing?" Jaebeom asked.

I ask myself that too, Jay. I took a drink from my espresso yet again. I couldnt help the heavy sigh.

It was quiet for a while then Junsu spoke up. The man was due his question.

"Is there anything wrong with being jealous that Jaebeom has girlfriend?" Junsu asks.

Then there`s Junsu. I don`t know what it is. But he gets jealous of the other guys so easily. Instead of appreciating what he has, he wants the attention his teammates have. That`s the impression I always get off him. He never fails to compare himself with the others. I`ve had long talks with Junsu, trying, really trying to build up his self esteem and make him feel less insecure and more aware of what he has.

Instead, he plays the pessimism card. It`s so annoying because he`s a great singer with tons of adoring fan girls. No one in 2PM can hold a note like Junsu can. Well, there is Junho fighting for the spot, and Wooyoung`s not doing to bad either. But he`s a safe 5 kilometers away at being the best in vocals.

He`s not like Khun who has goals for himself. It`s not I need to be better/ I need to do better. For Junsu, it`s like, I need to be as good as this guy or that guy. Endless comparing, and endless wanting. I wish he`d just be satisfied.

"I didn`t say I was jealous...I only admitted I wanted one too..." Junho says.

"Junho has a point." Chansung says. He sounded like his mouth was full.

And then we have the groups maknae, Hwang Chansung. This boy eats like there`s no tomorrow. He`s lucky he gets to work out, and perform and move, if not, he`d be thrice his size. Even more. At first, I found it cute that he loved to eat. All 7 boys enjoy the food. But Chansung, it`s something else with him. He`s constantly, constantly, eating. There have been instances that he`s already thrown up what he ate, then he still tries to pack in a few more bites. And he gets cranky when we put him on diets. I don`t know what to do with him, anymore. He`ll throw away his idol image for food!

"He only revealed wanting a girlfriend, like Jaebeom-hyung." Chansung adds.

"Isn't that like being jealous?" Taecyeon wondered.

The table started to become noisy with them trying to each get a word in.

I sighed, I decided to stick a foot in the grave. It`s something I do everyday...I`m glad the war hasn`t taken me yet. Actually...come to think about it, I wish they would. But my heart will literally break if I let these boys down. Even though there are times I hate them to their guts, watching them perform and give it their all out on-stage, is fulfilling for a manager like myself to watch.

"DON'T YOU ALL WANT GIRLFRIENDS?!" I yell from the living room.

"Shut the hell up, Liya! WHO ASKED YOU?" Taecyeon roared.

"But you know I`m right." I say, but did not scream.

"Props to Liya. We are all girl-seeking......" Nichkhun agrees.

I decided to stand up and remind the boys that it`s almost 7 and that they had a schedule to attend. They were nowhere near ready to start the day off.

"I know I`m right." I tell them as I stood by the doorframe. "Now, you guys finish that up. We don`t want you late for the promotions." I say to them.

"Don`t worry, Boo...we`re almost all finished here." Jay says to me, shoots a wink right after, too.

"Really..." I inhale deeply, "inappropriate, Jay." I let out sigh and roll my eyes.

"You know you be bluffin." He says smugly.

"Just be ready before 7:30, please?" I beg of them, turn around and walk away.

When I resumed my postion back at the couch, it was only noisy with the sound of the boys chewing and finishing up their food. At least one way or another, they listen to me. It`s a struggle, but they do, do as they are told. Even though it takes 30 tries. They`ll eventually budge.

"Sometimes, I think Liya-noona thinks of leaving us..." I hear Chansung attempts a whisper. Oh, how loud this boy`s voice is.

"I think she wants to either kill us or herself, actually...." Jay shares with his other group members.

If they only knew. I`m so close to it. But never, never running away from the problems. I`ve always been the one to face it head on. I wont leave until I`ve changed the boys. And by change, I mean make them better, more respectable persons. As their manager, it`s my job.

Oh, if they only knew, if they only realized what they are putting me through...