Bang YongGuk stares at a Polaroid picture that is placed inside a small album with other pictures. He flips the page and it directs him to another picture featuring the same characters, him and a woman around his age. The pictures were taken a few years back in front of the Eifel Tower. It was a memorable honeymoon for the two newly wedded couple. He can’t help but to smile seeing the expression on his wife’s face.

***

“Let’s take a picture here!” YongGuk exclaimed, calling his already distracted wife. She was immersed in the beauty of the tall structure in front of her. She had always adored the Eifel Tower. They said that if a couple kissed in front of the tower, they will be blessed with eternity love and forever they would never be separated.

She wasn’t responding to him as she got her eyes fixed on one of the Seven Wonders of the World. YongGuk called again but yet again, she ignored him and he was annoyed with the fact that his wife was looking at the stationary object rather than tending her own husband.

“You can look at the tower even after we got home if you take a picture with me in front of it now” The annoyed husband pulled his lover and he called for their tour guide to snap a few pictures for them before he handed him the camera.

YongGuk stood so close against her back that she could feel the heat that was radiating from his body. Though the breeze was chilly, he warmth her with his touch as he placed both of his arms around her waist, hugging her tight in his embrace as if his life was depending on it. Softly, she rested the back of her head on his broad chest, and both of them smiled for the camera.

Snap!

Snap!

***

YongGuk is tired of missing her, he is tired of longing for her and as much as he wanted to stop hurting, the memories of her keep on looping in his mind like a broken record. It is crystal clear and he is tired of trying to forget too. It comes to a point where the memories of her are practically living inside him. She is not there, yet she is everywhere.

He closes the photo album and places it on top of the shelves along with other photo albums of the two of them starting from the first day of their relationship up till the day she left him.

***

“I’m sorry, but we failed to save your daughter” As soon as YongGuk greeted the doctor, the news stormed into his ears. He was shocked, but what was coming next would break him to thousand of shattered pieces. “Your wife is in the special unit” The doctor placed his hand on YongGuk’s shoulder, hoping that it would at least console the young man. “Brace yourself young man. The storm is coming.”

“What do you mean?” The doctor didn’t reply. Instead, he shook his head and left the man in the middle of the hallway.

YongGuk dashed to the special unit for his wife and she was there, lying flat on the bed looking very sallow and almost lifeless.

“How is our baby?” She asked. Her voice came out hoarse and raspy. It was the first sentence she said after the operation. She couldn’t give birth to their child like normal mothers. She had a complication with her pregnancy. She shouldn’t even be pregnant in the first place, but she didn’t know. They both thought it would be alright, but the worse conclusion came and slapped them in their face.

“In heaven” He didn’t want to say it, but he had too. She could handle it. He knew her wife was a strong woman. He held her hand and placed it on his cheek. Weakly, she caressed his face, her lips tugged to a smile.

“You’ll be alright, right?” She looked at him with a pair of loving eyes. It was as if she was trying to say something but YongGuk could not put a finger on it.

“I’m fine” He was in the verge of crying but he held it in. He had to stay strong. He was heartbroken with the fact that he just lost their first daughter and looking at the face of his lover, it was as if somebody just poured a mountain of salt onto his already wounded heart. “Only if you’re with me” He added.

She tried to let out a laugh, in the end her laugh was accompanied by a brutal cough. YongGuk quickly handed her a glass of water and after she gulped down a few gulps, she pushed the glass away.

“Don’t be jealous” She stated.

“Of what?”

“I’m going to meet our little angel, so you better be good on your stay here if you’re going to join us” Her words snapped his heart in two. It couldn’t be that soon. He was not ready. After the lost of a girl that he never met but he already poured all his heart towards her, he wasn’t ready to let go of the girl that had practically known him more than he knew himself.

He didn’t reply. He refused to reply and he saw her dying before his eyes. He still refused to reply to her. She was breathing rapidly and doctors surrounded her bed. He still didn’t answer her as he stood at the very far corner of the room. In the end, the doctors gave up and they called him for her final words. With a pair of sleepy steps, he scuffed his feet towards her bed. The five steps felt like the hardest steps that he ever had to take.

“Thank you”