It was silent that day, the day all grieved. Why must Fate and Destiny play such cruel games with humans? You were seen. You were with others, alive and well. You were healthy but a short time ago. And yet here they stand, grieving and crying over the loss of you.

The stone is strong and beautiful in appearance. Most would stop to admire it if it were anywhere else, for anything else. But because it is there with that specific meaning, it is only seen as a guardian. A reminder of what once was.

R.I.P

Kim Kibum

1991-2012

“He was a beloved son and friend to us all”

As the rain poured, not a sound could be heard. Nobody dared to speak as the priest spoke his vows. Nobody spoke when the coffin was lowered. Once the dirt was being put into place, only then did they dare to utter a sound.

Sounds of grief.

Sounds of disbelief.

Sounds of pain.

But only three people remained as silent and as still as the stone tablet before them. One threw a hate filled stare at the man and woman that huddled together. The man beside the woman looked on, broken and dead to the world. The woman herself looked guilty and hurt.

Once the funeral was over, everybody slowly left. Except the three people from before. The man filled with hate and loathing slowly made his way to the couple, clutching tightly to a llarge envelope with the name "Jonghyun" written on it neatly. He stiffly offered the envelope to the man.

“This was from Kibum. He wanted you to have it after he died.” The man, Jinki, said while offering the envelope to the other male. Once the envelope was taken from his hands, Jinki punched the other male as hard as he could.

“And that's for never giving him a chance, Jonghyun.” He spat as he walked away.

~

Dear Jonghyun,

I'm sure that my time has come to an end if you are reading this now. I have so much I want to say, so much for you to know. But I think I should start from the beginning. When I left you two years ago, I had been diagnosed with stage two stomach cancer. I know it wasn't right of me to not tell you, cruel even, but I wasn't sure if I would make it or not. My thoughts were that if I don't make it, I would want you to have moved on and live happily. I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry for that. I know that you hate me, and I understand that. And if you think about it, I hurt you and you hurt me. We're even now, right? Poetry has become a passion of mine, as well as drawing. But this poem that I will wright below speaks to me. Maybe it will speak to you too? I'm not sure. I love you Jonghyun.

Love,

your Bummie

“This pain I feel is from years of life

This pain of mine strikes like a knife

This pain I know, my past has built

This pain I carry with the help of guilt

This pain controls me keeping me lost

This pain consumes me at all cost

This pain guides me down with despair

This pain never, I will share

This pain holds me tight

This pain grabs me with all it's might

This pain has taken all my will

This pain is with me till my body lies still

This pain I am told, is life

This pain is me, it is my strife

This pain most of all is a reflection of me

This pain has held me back from a life that could be” - Uknown

~

Jonghyun collapsed into a sobbing mess on the floor of his room. Why hadn't Kibum told him? How could he do this to him? Jonghyun had done nothing but shower the other in affection and trust, but in the end he hurts him like this. Kibum broke Jonghyun two years ago when he suddenly left, claiming that he wants to “take a break for a while”. Jonghyun never understood, came to even resent Kibum for causing him to hurt so much.

“I love you too Bummie...” He mumbled as he clutched the letter in his hands, crying himself to sleep.

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