When I was younger, alone and tired of being kept to my self, a bit away from my sisters' strong bonds with each other, my umma would always tell me to close my eyes and think of my favorite color. Blue, it was at the time. It's my favorite color still.

"Any shade, Umma?"

"Yes, any shade of blue. Imagine you are on a wide stretch of blue, and you are breathing in the calmness of it and absorbing the essence of blue. You are strolling gleefully from the palest shade of blue and slowly a darker shade of blue, and finally, you have reached your favorite shade of blue. You are lying on it. The blue color soothes you and calms your nerves…"

I later found out that she got that whole speech from a book she had read a few days before. But, I couldn't deny, it helped without a doubt.

Being in this blue sea, wrapped perfectly around my petite figure made me feel strange. It was like... I was getting lost in the situation.

"Count to three, Yuri-ah."

My appa had another method on the other hand.

"One, two--"

"Slowly, sweetie. Again."

Count to three. After each number, tell yourself three things that you are most afraid of. Ask yourself what you're going to do to. Eventually, you're going to answer your own questions.

"One..."

What am I supposed to do?

"Two..."

I'm afraid of what.. or who I'm going to see.

"Three."

I feel lost.

I stared at myself in the mirror. My fully made-up face looked solemn, still, emotionless. I closed my eyes.

I can do this. This is my life. I control what I'm going to do. I know what I have to do.

**

I arrived at my old house, still being occupied by my six siblings, all of which, were more than happy to see me.

"YURI!!" Yoona jumped onto me.

I back up with a grin to see her fully suited in her red dress. "Hey, dongsaeng."

"You seem all depress-y! Have you been feeding yourself well? You look thin!" Taeyeon ran up behind us.

I nodded, "Guys, I'm fine. Totally healthy."

 Sunny ran up as well, "Yuri-ah!"

Next thing I knew, it was like a family reunion.

Even with everyone around me, I felt my eyes being restless. I knew who they were looking for, but I just didn't want to admit it.

Taeyeon Unnie tapped on my shoulder, "Yuri."

"Hm?" I asked, my eyes still searching.

She cleared , "Um, your date? The guy that you promised to meet?" She smirked.

I rolled my eyes, "Okay, where is he?" I said with a slight bitterness in my voice.

"Hi, Yuri."

I whipped around.

"Hi, Kibum."