Twerps unite!

Before I Go

"Twerps!" yelled Jessie pointing at Misty and Brock.

"Oh No! They found us!" said James clutching glass cage with a small yellow mouse-like creature inside.

"Get 'em!" shreiked a short cat-like creature.

"It's Team Rocket! And they've got Pikachu!" yelled Misty.

"We've got to stop them!" said Brock pulling a pokeball out of his pocket.

Suddenly Lyra sat up and stared at the four tense people standing a few feet away.

"Team Rocket!" She gasped slapping her forehead.

"Who's she? And where's the other twerp?" said Jessie looking around in panic.

Suddenly out of the mist came two more figures! It was Ash and Charizard!

"PIKACHU!!!" bellowed Ash. Before Lyra could even stand a ferocious battle erupted around her! Ash and Charizard fought
valiantly but  Team Rocket was aided by the legendary pokemon Suicune! Lyra couldn't believe it! She loved Pokemon and
had obsessevly both played the games and watched every episode and every movie! One thing she knew for sure was
that Suicune did NOT like or help Team Rocket under any circumstances! But right now Suicune was not only helping Team
Rocket, but beating Ash, Misty, and Brock's pokemon to a pulp! Suicune was unbelieveably strong but for some reason it's
eyes betrayed huge pain. That's when Lyra noticed...  on it's neck... it's a collar!  Just then Brock's Geodude came flying
backwards from the battle! Headed straight for Lyra!

She froze like a deer in headlights! But before the out of control pokemon could crush her something else knocked her to the ground
and out of the way! The geodude crashed to the ground leaving a deep track of dirt and finally slamming into a tree. The poor
pokemon was too weak to get back up and continue to fight. Lyra opened her eyes as the dust cleared and looked at her
rescuer. It was a boy with black hair, and when he looked back at her, blue eyes. She blushed, realizing he was still on top
of her from shoving her out of the way but his face showed only concern!

"Are you okay? I'm sorry about that but that geodude would have seriously hurt you if he had landed on you!" the stranger said.

"Uh thanks!" mumbled Lyra scrambling out from under him. "I''m fine, I hope the geodude is too." she looked away trying to hide her steadily
reddening face.

"He'll be fine, but I've got to stop suicune, and get that collar off of it!" he said grabbing his pokeball off his belt. "Team Rocket's really
done it this time!" He said angrily.

"Maybe I can help!" exclaimed Lyra.

"Do you have any pokemon?" Said the stranger turning back to her.

"Uh no.." she said.

"You'd better sit this one out then. Let us trainers handle this!" he said confidently with just he slightest hint of a smirk. He then threw his
pokeball into the air and rushed to the battle with a shreiking pidgeot in company! Lyra looked on jealousy burning in her eyes! Ever since
she'd played pokemon as a little girl shed wanted to be a part of that world. She was here! Watching the action first hand but what she
REALLY wanted to do was to join in with her OWN pokemon! To her horror however, suicune was pummeling it's opponents without
mercy, and even attacking the trainers! It was all the pokemon could do to protect their trainers and themselves! Team Rocket was also
harrasing the pokemon with a funny sort of gun that could entangle people and pokemon's with nets, or stun them with an electric shock
or even slice their skin with sharp little darts. It was cruel and awful but the brave pokemon continued to fight until the collasped from
exhaustiion. Finally all of their energy was spent. The pokemon and their trainers lay bruised and broken on the ground, unable to fight
any longer. Suicune, although strong, was also battered by the fight. However when it Lyra, it' was far from weak.

"RUN!!" yelled the stranger wincing in pain. Suicune charged before she could react! She stumbled backward and sprinted toward the
trees and the dense fog. Suicune crashed after her and every second she expected to feel its weight crush her. Suddenly she tripped,
and fell on her face, skidding in the dirt. Suicune jumped, but overshot her. It whipped around snarling, it's eyes glowing red!

"No where to run twerp! All your friends are beat and so are you!" Jessie cackled. Lyra had watched pokemonn, and even though Jessie
and James, were theives, they weren't very good ones. They were always messing up and they practically never wonl! This Jessie and
James were positively EVIL! Jessie pointed the awful gun at Lyra and sneered! Lyra braced herself, but she noticed something strange.Je
ssie had a collar too! It wasn't as big or complex as the on on suicune but it was definetely there! *Someone or something is controlling them!*
she thought! But what could she do? Lyra was stuck between a rock and a hard place and neither were very friendly. And both were
about to attack!

 

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Nekluna
#1
Chapter 3: Seems you can write a little descriptive if you want to.
Although it wasn't much in this chapter. Just some for Ash and Charizard and not for Brock nor Misty.
Can see that as a sign of them not being any important in this story.

If you wanted to add a bit of silliness, you could have named Ash Ketchum to Ash Ketchup instead.
Never liked his last name anyways. They sound pretty lame both of them.

Another short chapter, and takes merely a few minutes to get through with hardly any complications or depth to analyze.
You should try to add some later on if you can.
Otherwise this story will probably turn out to become one more of the many classic fic stories on the net you soon forget.
Even if it has pokemon elements in it.
Nekluna
#2
Chapter 2: Expected this to happen.
The bored girl started to get very stressed at an "unexpected" change in her daily life.
Well...if she acted with excitement it would be old anyways.
Nekluna
#3
Chapter 1: Pretty good first chapter.
But it is so classic to complain about having a normal life and not try to change it in any way more then some small cheap attempts such as making candy.

It is a little annoying when the default text is set kinda big and bolded in black. But i could shrink it is so it is somewhat ok.
Nekluna
#4
Seem interesting.
Mainly because i have seen no anime, manga, game or fanfic that have used this kind of story without failing on the way or in the end.

You have used the Foreword in one of the several ways to use it.
Remove the part that you dont know what it is, that will give your whole intro a more serious feel.
Sireika1011
#5
<3 XD omg!! Soo epic!!! <3 XD Keep writing ok?