“Are you okay Gege?” I was brought out of my thoughts by Yixings soft voice. I looked up from my lap, feeling a bit dazed as I met with worried eyes.

“Huh?” I asked, not quite sure if I had heard him right. I had been too lost in thought thinking about last night that I hadn’t really been aware of what had been going on around me since this morning. I was disoriented after everything that had gone on last night. Everything seemed surreal. I had managed to fall asleep last night soaked in my own tears, and when I had awoken this morning, I felt completely disembodied.

Yixing, as my roommate, had probably noticed me going through the morning like a zombie. Emotionless, unaware, and practically dead to the world around me. I didn’t know what I was wearing, what my hair looked like, or if I had even put any makeup on. The only thing I remember about this morning was waking up, and thinking of Sehun.

I wondered endlessly about what he was doing. How was Sehun taking our break up? Had he cried? Maybe he was angry at me? I wouldn’t blame him if he was. What I had told him on the phone last night were heartless and selfish words. I found that even I hated myself for the words that I had said to him. I knew I was a bad person for it, and I only hoped that with time both Sehun and I could forgive me, and we could be acquaintances or something like that. I knew there was no way we could ever be friends because it would be too painful. I was going to see Sehun eventually though, and ignoring his presence would not only be unprofessional, but also hurt both of us even more.

“Lu Han, are you even listening?” I heard Kris’s voice, pulling me out of my thoughts again. I shook my head rapidly to remove the negative thoughts as I looked at the leader.

“What did you say?” I asked, trying to give him my full attention. Kris’s eye brows knitted together as he scrutinized me closely, trying to determine if something was wrong with me.

“Yixing repeatedly asked if you were okay and you weren’t responding. Is everything okay?”

Everything is terrible. Nothing is going right, I broke the promise I made to Sehun, my heart is aching in my chest, and I know that this is entirely my fault. I never deserved the love I received from him,  and all I want to do is go back to Korea and stop being an idol, but I know I shouldn’t. I feel as if I was stuck in a crossroad of living my dream and hurting over not being with the one I love, or giving everything up for him. I made a compromise that destroyed us both and I could only hope it would turn out better in the long run.

After a while of dissecting the simple question, and thinking of an answer, the only thing I could do was reply with a simple lie. “Yeah, everything is fine.”

I could tell by the subtle looks that Yixing, Kris, and Tao gave me that they didn’t believe me. They could probably tell just by looking at me that I was a mess. I knew that even Jongdae and Minseok were aware something was wrong even if they had not understood the short conversation.

Silence enveloped the car as everyone remained quiet. There was tension in the air, but I chose to ignore it as I laid my head on the cool window, hoping it would make my head stop hurting. The silence though was soon broken by the sound of Kris’s phone ringing, and the rustling as he took the phone out of his pocket.

“Joon Myun?” He questioned, confusion evident in his voice as to why the other leader of EXO was calling so early in the morning. I wondered that too, though I had a sinking feeling it had something to do with Sehun. “Yoboseoyo?” he answered in Korean, gaining Minseok and Jongdaes attention, as well as mine.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice taking on a serious tone as he intently listened to what the latter was saying on the other line. I took my head off of the window to look at him, feeling a little on edge. “Really, I’ve been seeing the exact same thing here… Yeah… Did you want to talk to him about it, he probably has more answers for you than I can offer.”

Then Kris was offering the phone to me, and I felt my heart begin to beat rapidly as I took the phone out of his hands and pressed it against my ear. “Hello?”

“Lu Han…” I heard Joon Myun’s voice, which was laced with concern.

“Yeah?” I noticed my voice visibly shook as I started to fear maybe something had happened to Sehun.

“What happened?” Was all he asked, but we both know what he was referring to. What happened with Sehun was what he was really asking. What did you do to him? Why did you do it? All questions that I had been asking myself since last night.

“It’s better this way.” The same answer I had told myself; The same one that had convinced me to break up with him in the beginning.

“If you saw what Sehun looked like right now, I don’t know if you would say that. To be perfectly honest, you don’t sound that great either.” So something was wrong with Sehun. I knew this shouldn’t surprise me, but it definitely made my heart throb painfully in my chest.

“I…” I didn’t know what to say. I felt like it had been easier telling myself that excuse than it would be convincing others it was right.

Then I heard some rustling on the other line, and then a voice that made my heart drop from my chest. “Lu Han-ah,” Sehuns voice came from the speaker of the phone. I put my hand over my mouth, as tears formed in my eyes.

“You don’t need to say anything, in fact don’t. I think I will go insane if you give me another excuse. Just listen to me. What you said last night, it destroyed me. I let it get to me, but now I’m going to do something about it.”

“Sehun, What are you-“

“Don’t Lu Han,” I heard his voice snap at me, startling me. “I know you don’t want this. So I realized I’m going to have to prove it to you that we are going to survive being apart.” Tears streaked down my cheeks as I tried to hold in my sobs. I could feel eyes boring into me, but I ignored them.

“There’s nothing you can do Sehun. Even when I come back we’ll be split apart again and again and again.” I wiped my eyes with the back of my sleeve.

“This isn’t up for discussion.”

“Why are you even bothering Sehun?”

“Because thing’s can’t end like this.”

The line went dead, but I kept the phone pressed against my ear in shock. What was Sehun talking about and what was he going to do?

A/N: Thanks for reading! Also, I was wondering if you guys wanted there to be in the last chapter, or keep this strictly PG