What was more difficult than avoiding your best friend? Avoiding your best friend who you happened to live with. There was some down time for SHINee and they had just moved into their new dorm. Upgrading from a one bedroom to two. Moving up in the world, their manager had joked.

They had finally settled, dividing their belongings while everyone teased Key over the fact that, somehow, he had twice as much of everything clothing related than anyone else. He couldn't help it; after all, it was a crime to wear the same outfit twice....

Unpacking had been a good excuse to start to separate himself from Jonghyun. He was now rooming with Taemin and Onew, while Jonghyun was with Minho. Mind already traveling as he began to set up his new haven, Key offhandedly wondered if he would possibly need to febreze the other room on a regular basis.

The real issue on Key's mind was nothing related to the state of the group's new rooms. Jonghyun had been awfully touchy and it made him uncomfortable. Not that he hadn't always been touchy with Key, it just seemed to be getting progressively worse. Key had never paid much attention to it before, but now he felt hypersensitive to it. Every time Jonghyun would give him a smile, rest his hand on his thigh, lean in close to whisper in his ear, run a finger down his temple, or hold his hand, Key felt his face get warm. It was the type of nervousness that stemmed from the pit of his stomach, making him nearly sick with worry.

Would Jonghyun still be touching him like this if he knew Key were gay? Would it change their relationship? Would Jonghyun even want to be friends with him? The uncertainty made him anxious. He had wanted to tell him for years, but the timing was never right.

The next week had been difficult. Aside from the few interviews, almost all of their free time was spent in the dorm and Key had to find any excuse not to be alone with or get too close to Jonghyun. It turned into a series of awkward avoidances.

----

"Key-hyung we're going to watch a movie!" Taemin piped up as Key exited the bathroom, towel around his neck, fresh from a shower. He noticed Taemin and Minho on the floor together, Onew on the couch, Jonghyun sitting in the middle looking up expectantly, leaving an empty seat on the end right next to him. Key frowned, mumbling some inane excuse while avoiding Jjong's gaze because he knew his expression would fall while the younger slipped away.

Dinner had also been a mess. Jonghyun had kept trying to lean over the counter and talk to Key while he was preparing their meal. The younger had simply given him a series of non-committal hums and refused to look him in the eye.

They had also run into each other on the way to brushing their teeth for the night. Jonghyun smiled of course, teasing Key by stealing his toothbrush and refusing to give it back until Key ended up jabbing him in the stomach with his elbow. He wouldn't meet Jonghyun's eyes in the mirror while they brushed their teeth, muttering a quick, simple, "goodnight," and all but bolting out of the bathroom, leaving a confused bandmate behind.

After returning to his room, Key bid a goodnight to his friends and crawled under his pink sheets. Unable to fall asleep, he took to waiting until his roommates were out cold before getting back out of bed and pacing quietly back and forth across the floor, arms crossed tight against his chest. It was then, with shallow breaths and a quickly beating heart, that he couldn't stop the tears from falling. He didn't want to cry, he knew he shouldn't be crying, but he felt an overwhelming pressure was bearing down on him, hard. How was he going to tell Jonghyun?

"Kibum-ah," Onew's groggy voice filled his ears and their leader sat up in bed, rubbing at his eyes. "What's wrong? Does your stomach hurt?"

"It's nothing Jinki, I just can't fall asleep." Key tried his hardest to keep his voice steady, biting down on his bottom lip in hopes that their leader didn't attempt to turn the lamp on or anything that would reveal him.

"Oh. Okay. Well, don't stay up too late we have... something, in the morning I should probably know this shouldn't I? Interview or a show or..." Onew trailed off mumbling, curling back up on his bed and promptly fell back asleep.

"..." Key muttered as he exhaled shakily, leaving their room to take his panic attack to the living room. He didn't want to accidentally wake the maknae up next.

------

Jonghyun had no idea what he did wrong. Key had been avoiding him since they moved into their new dorm and for the life of him, he couldn't figure out why.

"Minho, please be honest with me, did I do something to piss Kibum off?" Jjong was desperate now, almost pleading.

It was late and they had already shut the lights in their room. Minho was sitting on his bed, reading a sports magazine by the lamplight. He simply shrugged his shoulders at Jonghyun's question. "You're no more or less retarded than usual, so who knows?"

"I don't get it..." Jonghyun whined, kicking his mattress and regretting it a second later as he hit the wood underneath instead of the soft material. He cursed, sitting on the edge of his bed and rubbed at his foot.

"Maybe," Minho offered, flipping the page of his magazine without bothering to look up. "Instead of crying to me about it you should talk to him, like an adult?"

Jonghyun pulled a face, sticking his tongue out and mocking his friend. "Like an adult," he scoffed. "I'm older than you, you know."

"Then maybe you should act it." Minho retorted. "Honestly though, hyung, you should just talk to him." The brunette finally put his magazine down and swung his long legs over the edge of the bed. "Right now, in fact, because I don't want to have this same talk with you for the fifth straight night in a row tomorrow." Minho pushed himself off the bed and one scuffle with Jonghyun later, the shorter boy found himself locked outside of his own room, cursing to himself.

Luck would have it that as soon as Jonghyun turned around, he noticed Key sitting, stiff and mortified on the couch.

"Minho said I'm supposed to talk to you." The kicked puppy dragged his feet on the ground as he moved further into the living room. Key's eyes were wide and even through the dim light Jonghyun could notice they were glassy. Was Key crying? Now he felt like a complete .

Jonghyun slumped into the opposite side of the couch, casting a sidelong glance towards his bandmate. "I'm sorry Kibum. I don't know what I did wrong, or why you're not talking to me, but I'm really sorry, okay?" Key was silent, looking down at his hands that were folded in his lap. His profile was heartbreakingly beautiful.

Jonghyun leaned in, reaching out to touch the other boy's hand but Key rolled his shoulders and pulled his hands into his own chest instead. "It's not your fault...." His voice was barely above a whisper. All Jonghyun could do was blink slowly.

"What?"

"It's not your fault Jonghyun-hyung. You didn't do anything wrong." The 'hyung' tacked on at the end of his name made him nervous. Kibum never said his name that way, not since Jonghyun had scolded him to drop the formalities when they became best friends as trainees.

"What's going on? Kibum?" Jonghyun started to crawl across the couch but Key abruptly stood up, muttering an apology and quickly tried to escape. Jjong wasn't having any of that though. Before he could get anywhere, Jonghyun s his hand around Key's wrist and gripped tightly, tugging on it as he pulled the other boy closer. The bones his fingers encircled felt delicate and he could feel Key trembling beneath his hand.

"Kibummie please tell me what's going on? I'm worried about you." With that Jonghyun stood up, not letting go of the other boy's wrist while he placed his free hand on Key's shoulder, close to his neck. His skin felt hot and wet from tears.

"I can't." Key swallowed hard, shaking his head and refusing to lift his gaze. "I can't right now, so please, just let me go."

"We're supposed to be friends and you won't even look at me." Jonghyun knew he was being a little harsh, but the panic rising in his chest kept him from thinking rationally. "Do you have any idea how frustrating this has been for me? Now you're sitting here crying and you won't tell me what's wrong. I can't fix anything. What am I supposed to do? Just go back to bed and leave you out here all alone? Are we supposed to spend the rest of our careers avoiding each other because you don't trust me enough to tell me what your problem is?!" Jonghyun realized toward the end of his over-dramatic rant that his voice raised a little louder than he wanted it to, but he couldn't help it when he was fighting back his own tears, eyes starting to sting. He was hurt that Kibum didn't trust him, but he was mostly aggravated that he had no idea how to help. He could feel the taller boy shaking under his hands.

", Kibum, I'm sorry I didn't me---"

"I'm GAY, Jonghyun." Kibum spouted, probably a lot louder than he meant to. "I'm gay..." He repeated, his time quieter.

Jonghyun released Key's wrist and both of the taller boy's hands went to his face, burying it in his palms as he sobbed into them. Key looked so painfully vulnerable. It tugged on Jonghyun’s heart.

Much to Key's surprise, Jonghyun wrapped his arms protectively around his middle and pulled him close, squeezing him into the short boy's solid form as he whispered quietly into his ear. "I know."

Key pushed backwards, both hands against Jonghyun's chest as he looked up through blurry vision, searching the other's face. "What do you mean 'you know?'"

"Kibum," Jonghyun said evenly, pausing to sniffling. "We've been best friends for how many years now? And besides, I think it's pretty obvious..."

Key was affronted, brows furrowed while looking straight into Jonghyun's eyes for the first time in he couldn't remember how long. "What do you mean it's obvious?"

"Your favorite color is pink."

"So? A lot of guys like p--"

"You enjoy doing girl group dances."

"It's not like I'm the only o--"

"You have an amazing fashion sense."

"Just because I like to dress nice doesn't have to me--"

"You own more shoes than any girl I know."

"Shoes are important for coordinating outf--"

"You're sweet and considerate."

"How does that make me gay?"

"And you kissed me when we were trainees."

This time, he finally rendered Kibum speechless. Jonghyun could feel him fidgeting under his hold.

"I only did it because I thought you were asleep." Key muttered, biting down on his bottom lip and once again avoiding Jonghyun's eyes. "Well, I wasn't, and you still kissed me. I know you just can't resist this y face." He couldn't help but grin, even if Key was punching him against the chest.

"Oh shut up, Jonghyun, don't be so full of yourself. Just because you were barely better looking than the other trainees." Key finally settled comfortably into Jonghyun's hold, arms circling around the shorter boy's neck.

"So, you would have kissed someone else if they were better looking than me? Damn, I had no idea how shallow you were." Key could only roll his eyes to that. "Seriously though, Kibum. I don't mind that you're gay. It's not like I haven't always known. I just want you to know I'm not."

There was a serious, stern tone in Jonghyun's voice and Key nodded weakly, whispering. "I know."

The shorter of the two leaned up slightly, meeting his lips tentatively with a surprised Key. The other breathed in sharply through his nose. The kiss was soft, lips barely brushing and as Jonghyun closed his eyes, he could see Key's were wide from shock. After a few seconds, Jjong leaned back with a big grin plastered on his face.


"Oh, did I forget mention that I'm bi?"