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A tear slides down Jaejoong’s cheek.  He’s crying silently as he sleeps.  His breathing hitches and he bites his lip.  Yoochun thinks that maybe he’s awake but no Jae is lost in unconsciousness, somewhere far away from reality, or maybe, Yoochun feared, not far from reality. 

Reality is made up of lies, hurt and deceit.  Where Jaejoong was at he could tell that he had not escaped these realities.  Yoochun can see all Jaejoong’s suffering emotions flash on his pale smooth face, the only true flaw though being the tear trail that had now fully slid down his cheek to his chin and had dropped down to dampen the couch.  Yoochun contemplated waking his hyung up.  It would indeed end the suffering. 

At least until he fell asleep again… maybe that’s why he didn’t sleep.  He was still plagued by the harsh hand of reality even in his dreams.  Yoochun knew if he woke him that Jae would dismiss himself and head home.  Then alone he would sleep and cry these same tears, his subconscious torturing him, suffocating him.

Jaejoong was laid on his side, facing outward, curled slightly into an arch.  Seating himself, cross legged, on the floor, facing the couch, Yoochun reached for Jaejoong’s hand that laid out half open; the other clenched close to his chest as if to keep his heart from shattering.  He then grasped his hand, interlacing their fingers.  Jaejoong automatically gripped him and let out a small breath, whether it was a gasp or a sigh of relief Yoochun couldn’t tell but Jaejoong’s sleeping form did not stir other than that, remaining in dream land, crying about things Yoochun could only imagine.

Yoochun rested his head on his other arm, their faces close together.  His hyung had always looked over him and took care of him, of them.  Not because he had to but because that was who he was, self sacrificing, loving and kind.  He stares at that sad beautiful face and wonders how the world could be so cruel.  How the world could just tear at the innocence of someone with so much goodness and leave them so broken.

That what Jaejoong fears most right now is the feeling of loss, of abandonment, of disappearing is what Yoochun is most afraid of because he too has had that feeling many times over but for Jaejoong how much worse could it be without the five members together… Yoochun would go home to his mother and brother waiting for him but Jaejoong would go home to a house that was empty.  Accustomed to a house full of people and liveliness his whole life, how does Jaejoong feel now? 

That they can’t just comfort each other anytime they wanted anymore, that they couldn’t see each other’s smiles whenever they wanted anymore.  Yoochun knew it affected Jaejoong but didn’t know it was to this extent.  Yoochun wishes the other members could be here, could help him help Jaejoong.  That they could all just talk through the night like they used to and have a big group hug like they used to and laugh about the pain and the tears and the hardships.  But no, right now it’s just Jaejoong and Yoochun, late at night, drunk and glossy eyed.  Just us right now and soon it will be Yoochun on his own and Jaejoong on his own for a while and Yoochun knows that he cannot stop it.  That they can’t be together always, that time will change things, but…

What was it that Jaejoong said once?  That memories live on forever?  Yoochun grips his hyung’s hand tighter.  Yes.  He also believes that, but still, the way precious things get transformed into memories… it’s still painful, it still hurts like hell even though you know its coming.  You still cry and fight it with all your strength.  Like right now, Yoochun wishes he could stay by Jaejoong’s side and always wipe away his hyung’s tears.  That he could always be around him and make sure he’s okay, even though it’s impossible.

Yoochun knows this and so Yoochun does what he knows he can do for Jaejoong today.  Since he can’t be with him always, at least for today he can comfort him and take care of him just as his hyung has always taken care of him.  He feels tears well up in his own eyes and shares in these mournful feelings with Jaejoong.  Shares this moment and… sings.

“Baby sky
All the dreams and hopes made of your eyes
Aa mo kitto waraeru
Sonomama no kimi de ite with me

Never cry, never ever hide of myself prime
Mirai wa kitto warau
Sonomama no kimi de ite with me

Baby sky
All the dreams and hopes made of your eyes
Aa mo kitto waraeru
Sonomama no kimi de ite with me”

(Baby Sky All the dreams and hopes are made of your eyes.
Tomorrow, certainly the sky will clear up, just like you are here with me

Never cry, Never ever hide yourself from me.
Please smile always in the future, just the way you have,with me

Baby Sky All the dreams and hopes are made of your eyes.
Tomorrow, certainly the sky will clear up, just like you are here with me)

(idea from Jaejoongs tweet 130804)

Jaejoong: BABY SKY ~Listening to this song for the first time in a while and wow~ it’s a great song..

Credit: Dongbangdata.net (translated); DBSKnights