"But I'm always at the same place, wetting my cheeks with wet tears." — Park Jiyeon, Day By Day (Haru Haru)

j a e j i n’ s story p.o3

“Oppa saranghae!”

Jaejin plasters on a well-practiced smile as he winks at the fan, sending screams down the waiting line of teenage fangirls. Jaejin wants to laugh at them for being so stupid, saving every penny they have just to pay for their albums and not thinking of the future — but of course, those were his own source of income.

“Oppa, you’re so handsome!” one fangirl screams. Jaejin knew exactly what sort of reaction they wanted. He smirks before pulling said fan into a hug and whispering into her ear that he loved her too. The fan’s face turned inexplicably red when she broke away from the hug and was permanently stunned into shock, so bad that the security guards had to pull her away.

Nowadays, those words “I love you” were uttered out at such frequencies that Jaejin had no idea if that short, once meaningful phrase, held any ounce of meaning.

Because to the boy, it had once been a precious phrase that he only used to say to that special one.

That special one whom he lost.

—

Jaejin heard the sounds of the keys in the lock before there was a short click and the door opened a little, sending out warm rays of light from the corridors outside. Jaejin snuggles even further into his pillow, pretending to be asleep on the couch. He hadn’t seen Seunghyun’s face for days, not when he himself had been avoiding the other boy pretending to be asleep everytime the latter returned home.

“I’m homeeeeeeeeeee!”

Seunghyun screams out gleefully and Jaejin knew clearly something was wrong. There were sounds of stuff falling before a major crash made the boy shudder. Jaejin couldn’t continue pretending that he was asleep and he twists his body, eyes scanning over the mess that looked like a war had just been fought and there lay Seunghyun, right smack in the middle of the mess, looking like a total wreck himself. As Jaejin rolled off the couch and knelt down, the stench of alcohol filled his lungs and he scrunched up his nose. Before he knew it, Seunghyun had grabbed the back of his neck and pulled Jaejin roughly towards him, smashing their lips together in a rather forced kiss.

Jaejin froze in a moment of shock before roughly shoving the younger boy away, who stumbled backwards and hit the coffee table, uttering a cry of pain. Jaejin turns, regretting it almost instantly when he identifies the wreck that he doesn’t want to claim as someone he loved...

This...

Tears were falling hot and fast from Seunghyun’s teary orbs as he clutched pathetically at his bleeding hand. Jaejin felt his face contort into a mask of utter disgust and revolt as he started backing away.

Backing away from this... this...

“Why!”

Jaejin froze in his steps. The weak, and pleading voice had caught him unawares and before he could stop himself, the tears had already started to fall.

“Why are you doing this to me?” a voice full of pain, a voice that cracked right at the end of the sentence into a hysterical squeak. It took all of Jaejin’s willpower not to cave in, although his entire frame was trembling too hard for him to respond to anything.

“Why?” Seunghyun continues, supported by the pressuring silence. “Why are we so distant? I-is it because I’m b-better than you? A-am I being an obstacle to your dreams? Is it all my fault?”

No... it’s not your fault... it’s mine. I’ve changed. You’ve changed. We couldn’t grow to adapt each other. It’s my fault that I couldn’t grow to adapt you.

“I’ll ch-change!”

You’ve already changed.

Jaejin bites his lower lip and takes in a shaky breath. I’m the one blocking your dreams. I’m the one being a bastard to you when you’re just doing your job. I’m the jealous guy just because you’re good at everything. It’s all my fault. I’m the obstacle to your dreams.

I’m sorry, Seunghyun.

I love you.

Jaejin takes another shaky breath before turning around and staring at Seunghyun with what he hoped, were emotionless eyes. Eyes that didn’t reflect the exploding flow of emotions in his heart right now.

“Let’s break up.”

A/N: Usually, I don't leave author's note at the end of sad stories because I'm scared this might ruin you guys' mood and all but...

YOU IDIOT JAEJIN D<

DAFUQ ARE YOU DOING

WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST SAY ?!

DO YOU WANT TO DIE UNDER MY AXE e_e

/lalalalala