Title: 4/5

I’ll be frank, I love simplistic titles that seem to hint at the content of the story, and yet not give away any critical factors. When I first saw your title, I was intrigued to be honest. The only problem I had with it was that it seemed to lack some sort of gravitating factor. Remember that the goal is to captivate readers, so having a good and succinct title is a must. Luckily, your title managed to capture that.

Description/Foreword: 5/5

I have to say, I am normally a very very picky person when it comes to descriptions and forewords, mainly because many authors tend to either arouse interest only to extinguish it later on, or to write bland descriptions. However, I was extremely impressed by your description, mainly because it was so riveting.

I like how you made it somewhat poetic, very poignant and fitting for the genre and mood.

Good job on this, there’s nothing much that you can improve on in this section.

Plot: 31/40

Originality: 7/10

This fiction was entirely original, because believe it or not, I have read a similar fanfic before. However I liked the little twists and turns that you weaved into it, and you truly turned it into something of your own.

Character: 7/10

Generally I could get a feel of these characters, but to add more depth, I would suggest lengthening your oneshot a bit so we can actually feel Key’s frustrations.

Overall, it seemed a bit too short a duration to fully empathize and develop an emotional bond with these characters, but I could definitely appreciate them. You managed to add a certain charm to Jonghyun and Key, so I applaud you for that.

Flow: 8/10

Quite succinct. I didn’t find much problems except for the fact that you have the tendency not to paragraph after a spoken sentence.

Ending: 9/10

A fantastic ending. It truly added a sense of unity to the whole oneshot, and it nicely summarized everything and related it back to the title.

Writing style: 16/20

Grammar: 8/10

Your grammar is quite eloquent, I only noticed a few typos here and there. A tip would be to proof read what you have written so that you avoid such typing errors in future.

Vocabulary: 8/10

I must say... I was utterly stunned when I read your fanfic. I honestly wasn’t expecting such depth in language, and you used a wide variety of words that successfully conveyed your message, and painted vivid images in my mind. Very very good work on this, especially since many authors tend to neglect this section.

Organization: 7/10

Not much problem here except that you need to paragraph. I mentioned this in the grammar section.

Overall enjoyment: 15/20

I loved the moral of this story, it really resonated with my heart. A simple oneshot, and yet it was beautifully written. Good work :)

Total: 78/100