Ae Sook, the name was given to me by my mother for it means pure love; she thought I would be able to spread my love to people. What she didn’t know that giving love doesn’t always guarantee that we too will receive that love. My mother died when I was about five years old and my father made sure I never forget the meaning of my name. I didn’t. for me life was like a clear blue sky- beautiful and without obstacles. There were no clouds, rain or thunder in my life, just a few rainbows here and there. That was up until I lost him forever… don’t worry he didn’t die. He just left me for someone else. Up until then, my life couldn’t have been more perfect. Everybody I knew was jealous of what I had; after all I was the one with the innumerable platinum cards, the high salary job, and the most perfect boyfriend. I’ve never had to bear the added worry of bills because living with your dad just solves that problem. Like I said, my sky had no clouds. It was perfect; so perfect that not even for once I realized what I was losing. Daddy’s little princess - that’s what I was. I can’t even clearly say what I will do now that I don’t have him in my life. Right now all I can think about is losing my self to a watery grave of alcohol.

The next morning…

“Uhhhhh…” I whined as I got up from a broken ten hours of sleep. “Oh, god it hurts so much,” I said as I gripped onto my head. Looking around I realized I was in my room, at my own house.

A lot of people might find it weird that I am shocked to find myself in my very own house ; but you see to get my hangover I would at least have to have drown my self in all the alcohol the $2000 I had in my purse could buy. So how did I drive back home? I am clearly not in my PJ so how did I get back home? I thought to myself when I heard a knock at my door and then a click of the door’s lock opening.

“Good morning sweetheart, daddy brought you your morning medicine,” Dad said as he chuckled to himself.

“Good morning dad. What medicine are you talking about? I don’t take any medicine.” I asked as I tried to get a good look at the tray he was holding without trying to wear my glasses.

“Nothing much sweetie just a little something for your burst of rebellion. Come on drink up.” Dad handed me the glass of lime water and expectantly looked at me I knew he wanted to know why I got drunk yesterday but I can’t tell him not until I got answers to some questions myself.

“So sweetie care to tell this old man why his princess was behaving like a normal hormonal teen when she is clearly not one,” Dad scolded but he didn’t get any answer. Hopelessly he looked at me, and said “I expected to see you behave like these twelve years ago… When you were actually sixteen years not now when I am old enough to actually have a heart attack.”

As I drank the lime water I looked at him over the brim of my glass and smiled lamely “dad you’re not old yet and you’re perfectly fine so stop all the emotional blackmail, OK.”

As I yelled the last part, my entire head started to throb. “Ouch…that hurts so bad,” I whimpered as I held onto my head with all my might and tried to sit up straight on my soft cushion filled bed.

As I gulped the last of my drink my dad said softly “sweetie are you sure you are ok? You kind-of look bad.”

“Well thanks dad; by the way don’t you have an office to go to?”

“So do you and you’re still sitting here aren’t you?” he asked.

 “I won’t go to the office today I still have so many paper works left before the board meeting tomorrow.”

“What board meeting? I thought you write hocus-pocus romance stuff for ‘The Morning Star’ in their entertainment section. Do they even know what paper work is? I told you a thousand times to come join daddy but you never listen do you! You are so stubborn!”

“Goodbye dad” I said as I waved my hand in extreme show of happiness. After all, how much could a girl with a bad hangover stand from her dad about her job.

After he left I relaxed back into my bed pulling the comforter over my body. As I closed my eyes memories from last night flashed back.

Flashbacks of dressing up and leaving for uncle Choi’s party came back to me.  Then there were floods of memories where I could practically feel the buzz of people, the smell wine and sweat mingled together. I started to remember a little of what or shall I say who happened to me last night. It was obvious that I was at a club but now as the hangover started to decrease I could also remember whom I was with.

He drove me home. It was shocking seeing that I was never too nice to him; not even last night when he was clearly trying to ease my pain. Yet, he brought me back home instead of leaving me there in the club. When I meet him next time I clearly have to repay him back for his trouble. The caring smile that he gave me when he found me in the club was something even a saint would have a hard time forgetting. Everything about him was so mesmerizing, that even in the semi-drunk state that he found me, my heart skipped a beat.

My mother said that one always gets kindness form places one least expects it and now twenty three years later I finally found out that she had been right. As I got out of bed to wash up and start my day I accidentally bump into the dresser; a picture it held crash landed on the floor with a sound loud enough to bring tears in the eyes of a person in my condition. Bending down to pick it up, I realized it was the picture of man who has made me feel miserable for the past twenty four hours and kept me in dark for more then six years.

It was my so called fiancée who very conveniently refused to marry me yesterday. He actually was the center of my universe and the man of my dreams. When I think about it now it seems to be quite clear that he had lost interest in us a long time ago and all those rumors about him could have been true. Yet here I am with my heart broken, crying over a man who doesn’t even care. I was a convenience for him which he has to bear because everybody expected him to. It is tragic but true that I was nothing but a duty he got stuck with.

Unfortunately I consider myself human and not just some duty. He will have to answer me and I can’t wait to find out the story he is going to come up with as an excuse. 

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