Sharing beds was a pain, especially with Jay. He’d taken all the blankets and his leg was on my side, along with his arm. But because I was a foreigner, I didn’t wake him up to ask him to move over. Instead, I moved onto the floor.

The floor wasn’t comfortable. It was cold, hard, wooden and I didn’t have a blanket to go with it. In my mother’s house, whenever I didn’t have a blanket, I would share a bed with her. She didn’t mind, and she wouldn’t hog the room. I missed her lots. I had nothing against Jay or any of the others, but nothing could replace my mom. I wiped my eyes, because they started to water with the memory of her. I rubbed my arms, which started to grow goosebumps. This place was lonely. I sat up to look for a spare pillow, but there wasn’t one, not even on Heechul and Kibum’s bed. The floor was too hard. I turned to the side and tried thinking about funny things, but all I could think of was being uncomfortable and how my mother and friends were so far away.

Suddenly, I heard a whisper from above. “Hankyung?” it said, and I looked up to see Heechul looking down at me with big brown eyes, leaning off of his bed. I wiped the remaining bit of tears from my eyes in embarrassment.

I looked straight up, lack of Korean making me forget anything sensible to say.

“Why aren’t you on your bed, Hankyung? Do you like sleeping on the floor?” That seemed strange, why would I prefer sleeping on cold, rough wood than on a mattress?

“No,” I said. It was the only thing I could think of before I added, “No more room. Jay… ate the blanket. Yah, really, Jay took the blanket. Really.” My Korean was terrible. For a second his expression made me wonder if I’d forgotten a vital word, until he said,

“Then wake him up and ask him to move over and give you back the blanket.”

“Ah, no… I can’t.” I said, still in the awkward position of looking directly up into giant dark eyes.

“Why?”

“I’m dongsaeng. Not Korean.” I scratched my arm.

“You’re only a foreigner if you keep saying you are, silly. You can always wake one of us up if you’re not comfortable. Don’t keep putting yourself out of the crowd.” I didn’t know what to say to that.

“Sorry.”

“You’re strange.” Heechul said. Maybe sorry wasn’t the right card to play. “If you’re too nice to wake his lazy up and tell him to move, you can sleep in this bed if you want.”

I was shocked. “No Kibum? Where he is?”

“I don’t know where he is, but you can lie here for tonight. Don’t lie on the ground, that can’t be comfortable.”

“Oh… thank you. Is… this now?” I was unsure of whether to get up or not. I couldn’t understand him very well.

“…What are you talking about?” It seems that Heechul didn’t understand me either, but he moved over in his bed and I sat up off of the cold ground. “Just get up here, Hankyung. You need to stop being so nice. Korean people aren’t nice.”

I climbed on his and Kibum’s bed. I didn’t say anything to his comment as I lay down underneath the mauve blankets that decorated the bed. I turned to lie so my face was towards him. His looked back at me and smiled.

“Goodnight, Kyung.” he said, shutting his eyes. After a few seconds, I replied. 

“Bye. Goodnight.” Heechul was very kind; I didn’t know what he was talking about, saying that Korean people aren’t nice. It was a different kind of nice than Chinese people like my mother and I were. Their words were not always honorable and they were not overly polite, but most of the people I’ve met possessed actions that were good-natured. Everyone, Heechul especially, made me feel as though I was on the same level as them. So maybe they couldn’t replace my mother, but they could at least make me feel a little bit at ease.

 

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Kekekeke. Hannie~ I love him.