It actually - my writing is terrible :) I completey rushed it.. But it's for you nonetheless ^^ I hope it's okay :)

‘UGH. What the ................................... Why me...?!’

That was the last moan from Taemin as he was forcefully dragged into the casino main room by his nonchalant manservant. Jonghyun sat him down on a chair and sighed as he felt his master’s death glare digging into him.

‘Sir, you are the sole heir to the entire company – It cannot be allowed for you to just have one body-guard. In fact, it’s miraculous that you’re still alive.’

Taemin narrowed his eyes and pouted, folding his wiry legs around the wooden chair.

‘Then just get me one! I have no idea why I should be here with you!!’

‘Your body-guard should be someone who you should be with all the time – it cannot simply be someone just random.’

‘But I’ve got stuff to do!’

‘No you don’t. I cancelled every schedule for this afternoon – they’ve been moved to your off-days.’

Without being able to come up with the next decent excuse, Taemin sunk back into a dark corner, sulking and dragging the wooden chair behind him.

Jonghyun motioned at the bowed man by the door. ‘First applicant, please.’

‘Sir.’

The man opened the lock and a leg slid in through the narrow gap between the two oaken doors. A whip swaying next to the pink thigh, a long stocking with black suspenders covering up to the knees and a blood-red kill heel. The soft fleshy bit of the leg bounced as it grinded the door slowly. A low, breathy voice rang into the room.

‘Hey boys… Haaa…… Ohh…… I heard – Haa! That.. You were looking for…. Mmmmm…. A ….. Bo-‘

‘Next.’

The leg paused grinding and retreated, a small angry murmur sounding behind the door.

‘Second applicant.’

‘Babies I can make your bed rock like fire like ooohhh and like out down at the school classroom… You can be my naughty boys and I can be the-‘

‘Next applicant please.’

‘…..’

‘….?’

‘…haaa….’

‘….???’

‘….ohh haaa haa…. You guys are.... So…..‘

‘?????’

‘ic…………………. I just want to do stuff to you all day long with my instruments-’

‘…… Next.’

-After four hours-

Taemin looked fearfully at Jonghyun’s hunched back, feeling the dangerous death aura shrouding his manservant’s tensed body. Unaware of the worsening mood, the man in front of them continued to , running the razor along his fat legs, shaving the hair slowly. His maid outfit lifted in the process, and he looked at them greasily and pretended to be blushing as he met Taemin’s loving (?) gaze.

‘Ah…. I knew masters liked men….’

Jonghyun flipped his phone open and speed dialled a number.

A muffled voice sounded cheerfully as the ringing ended.

‘Hello~ G.O speaking~’

‘… You.’

Taemin almost winced at his voice.

‘OHH~ It’s Jjongie baby~~~~~~~~~’

‘… Get ready to die a very. painful. death. very. soon.’

‘Awwww, Honey bumfluff, I lov-‘

Jonghyun hung up violently and threw the phone against the wall. He glared at the man with the razor.

‘GET OUT!’

With that, he quickly stormed out, slamming the door loudly behind him. Taemin sighed and got off his chair, stretching his cramped leg muscles. The man on the chair whimpered as he sniffled loudly.

‘I… I’ve never been rejected before……’

Taemin was about to just ignore him when an idea struck him. He brightened and approached the man, smiling warmly. He the man’s hairy face and wiped his tears.

‘I like you – You’re my style’

The man stopped crying and looked up haughtily at him. ‘I knew it. I just knew it. Pretending not to be interested as always….’ He sighed. ‘Men these days….’

‘Yes… So… Will you do me a little favour?’

---------------------

Megan was walking back home, carrying two huge shopping bags full of the latest MBLAQ merchandise. She hugged her copy of ‘Cry’ and staggered onwards, unaware of a fat figure prodding along behind her.

‘Go out in the streets and let me see how… Wild you are… Pick a girl though, I want to see you getting wild with a girl.’

The man frowned, picking belly-button fluff and flicking it onto the floor. ‘Why? I prefer men?’

‘I’ll… Be jealous, baby, if you make out with another man than me…’

‘Hee hee…’ The man giggled, looking at the girl in front of him. ‘Men these days. Can’t keep their hands off me!’

Megan turned sharply as she heard him, and he saw her giving him a weird look and a frown.

‘Hey baby-cakes. My honey wants to see some hot, wild action between us….’

Megan cringed away from the creepy man, and she gasped as he grabbed her wrists with his clammy, fat hands.

‘Get off me!’

‘Tut tut. Darling – I can see it from your eyes that you want this desperatel- oomf!’

The man looked at the fist planted on his stomach in astonishment. Megan shot him a disgusted look and spin-kicked his face, satisfied with the light crunch of something breaking.

The man screamed and backed away, holding his bloody nose. His eyes raged with anger as he looked at Megan’s slim form.

‘Why… You!!!’

‘Shut up, fat .’

With a furious growl, the man took out a knife from his pocket and charged. Megan sighed and slid the small knife away from the man’s clutch with a light flick of her wrists. She punched his face and kicked his ribs, frowning as a light spurt of blood stained her white shirt. The man fell to the floor wordlessly.

‘Ah… … It was new as well!’ She grumbled.

‘Yeah, I know…’ Taemin replied, looking at the stain with a frown.

Megan jumped, dropping her two shopping bags. An unfortunate series of cracks and snaps were heard from the bag, and she felt tears flooding as she saw the broken corner of her new limited edition of MBLAQ’s Cry.

‘YOU!’ She spun around and pointed at the man, and she gulped as he looked back with absolute casualness, confidence radiating from his slim figure. His charcoal black eyes danced with amusement.

‘You’re hired.’ He said with a hint of finality. ‘Jonghyun, take care of the rest, please.’

‘Wh-What…?’ Megan blubbered, her eyes wide in surprise. ‘What do you mean ‘hired’?’

‘You’re hired – to be my body-guard.’

Megan blinked. What was wrong with this man. ‘I’m becoming no one’s body-guard, thanks.’ She gave him a weird look, but stopped as he met her eyes with a predatory gaze.

‘Oh… You’d rather be something else?’ He said, his raven black hair ruffling in the wind. He brought out a cigarette packet from his suit pocket and he started to smoke, lighting the cigarette stick fluidly.

‘What?’

Taemin looked at her with a grin, and she shuddered as his sharp gaze raised goose bumps.

‘Jonghyun?’

‘Yes?’

‘Send her to my room.’

I actually could not believe it when I realised that I haven't written you an oneshot - EVER 0____________________________0

and that's weird since with the rest of my friends, I did at least once!!!!!! DANG!!!!

anyways............. ;) hmm.... humour tried, didn't suit, returned to yness :D