Kami sighed as she looked at her worksheet. It was only a few weeks left before their winter break started and she sort of wish that school was still in session during that time. The less she had to deal with the 'holiday spirit' the better off she would be. It's not that she hated the happy holiday season--it's just that she no longer found it, what's the word...magical? She no longer had the same spark of glee or the anticipation of gifts as she did when she was, say...8? She had become a bit of a realist and she was at an age where she knew that Santa Clause wasn't real. Nor was the the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, and any other mythological creature that people had created through time to get kids to behave.

Ok so she was only 15...but hey one can learn a lot in just a few short years.

She's definitely learned too much within these past few years. Most kids are told that Santa doesn't exist or they find out in some cruel fashion. For Kami--it was the latter. Her family..struggled. They were able to make ends meet but there was never enough to allow them to enjoy the 'brighter' sides of life. She matured quickly and she wouldn't allow herself to be a little brat. For her parents sake she wouldn't complain about anything…much. She saw how hard they worked and how much they would do to allow her to attend the best school--even if that meant sacrificing themselves. She tried talking to her parents to let her go to a public school, she would be just fine there. However, they weren't having it…nope, they only wanted the best for her. So to repay them the only way she knew how--she worked her hardest in school. 

School. What an interesting place for her. She attended the richest school in the area and it amused her how simple minded her fellow classmates could be sometimes. Maybe because they had the money that they didn't understand hardship. However, maybe they lived easier lives that way? Kami knew that as a person she was super complicated. She always kept a smile on her face, forcing herself to smile even when it hurt. She kept a smile on her face even if it was an awkward moment--she learned how to smile through the tough times. For the most part it kept people from seeing the real feelings she kept deep inside of her. Feelings that she wasn't even sure she wanted to understand herself. It sort of caused her to have a low self-esteem like persona about herself. If people , even just playfully, her playful like attitude would quickly change and she would wonder 'what's wrong with me?' 

However, that doesn't mean she's a loner. Not even close. She was part of a circle that she easily called her friends. She adored them but she still put up an invisible wall between them. As if she was afraid that they would see her for who she really was…and not like her anymore. She was afraid of her friends leaving her. Afraid of being abandoned--especially during the holiday season when you should be surrounded by loved ones. Another reason why she didn't like winter break. 

She always felt like an outsider amongst her friends. Today was no different.

"OMO! I can't believe the break is ALMOST here!!" Soo In squealed. 

"I KNOW! Where are your parents taking you??" Myra asked.

"Well they said that the slopes are open and ski sessions are in FULL swing!"

"CHINCHA?! Oh! Maybe I should get my parents to cancel our trip to Japan and we can meet up?!"

"NO WAY!"

"Japan? What about the warm weather in the Philippines?!" Minh chimed in as he sat down with them.

Kami sighed again and subconsciously started to block out her friends chatter. They had been talking like this for the past 2 months--they had all known where they were going to go on their winter vacation way in advanced. Now they decide they want to change their plans? TSK. Rich jerks--but how she loved them dearly.

Myra nudged Soo In and nodded her head towards Kami.

"Man I can't wait…my parents planned this HUGE cruise--dude I think it's the same one that some KPOP stars are going to be on. Oh I hope some hot--YAH!" Minh yelled out when someone kicked him roughly under the table. 

Soo In gave him a glare and Myra looked at Kami, Minh turned his head and understood instantly why he was kicked. Kami was sitting in her own world next to them, having completely shut them out of her mind and had a small, TOO PLEASANT, of a smile on her face. Kami looked up when she noticed that the chatter had died down.

"Wae?" She asked dumbfounded.

"DON'T GIVE US THAT!"

"HUH?!"

"Hey…you know you're more then welcome to join my family on our trip! I don't think my older sister is coming along so we have extra room." Soo In suggested.

"ANNI! She's coming with me to Japan! I need a good shopping partner!" Myra grinned.

"PFFT! I'm totally stuffing her in my luggage." Minh joked.

Kami rolled her eyes, she knew what her friends were doing, "Anni. I don't want to be anywhere near any of you guys during my break. It's a break for a reason you know." She said sarcastically.

Myra stuck out her tongue, "Well…FINE! No one wanted you to come anyways!" She stood up and stalked away from the table. 

"There she goes…" Minh said and jumped up to run after her. 

Soo In looked at the two and then back at Kami, she had a shocked look on her face--but it instantly disappeared and she quickly replaced it with her infamous smile. Kami stood up, "Uhmm…I need to go work on some last minute things for class. I'll see you later? I'll talk to Myra later." 

"KAMI! AISH!" Soo In exclaimed as she was left alone, "These guys really know how to put a damper on things…" She quickly cleaned up their mess and went after Myra, Kami would be useless to talk to when she was in one of her 'moments'. 

Kami quickly rushed to her next class--she doesn't know why she does or says things like that. She knows her friends were just joking but sometimes she feels like…maybe…they weren't kidding. She walked into her class and went straight to her seat. She placed her forehead against the coolness of the wood and suddenly felt like she should be swallowed up by a huge black hole. If only she were lucky.

"JAHN JAHN JAHN!" Someone sang loudly in the tune of 'Jingle Bells', entering the classroom.

Kami mentally groaned, she was hoping that she could get a few moments of silence to herself--just so that she could dwell on what just happened. However, deep down, she suddenly missed her friends. She hated being away from them but every once in awhile, she liked having moments to herself.

"TAEMIN-SSI!" 

"JAHN JAHN JAHN!" The childlike voice sang again and she heard rapid footsteps hitting the floor. 

Kami lifted her head up and watched as one of the popular guys in school ran around the desks, a teacher's assistant running after him. Her face twisted in annoyance.

"NOONA! NOONA! Were you going to kiss him?!"

"ANNIYO! You little jerk you were standing there holding that over us!"

"BUT IT'S A MISTLETOE! You're SUPPOSE to kiss under it!" Taemin shrieked with laughter as he continued to avoid being captured by the TA. "LET'S GO BACK AND SEE IF HYUNG WAS GOING TO KISS YOU!"

Her face turned red from either embarrassment or because she just blew up--Kami wasn't sure. "TAEMIN!" She screamed when the lanky male dodged her and ran back out of the classroom and down the hallway singing "Santa Baby"…loudly.

Kami blinked once…unsure of what just happened. She looked around the classroom but she was the only person there. It was now quiet again and she wasn't sure what to think.

Lee Taemin. One of the most popular guys in school. He was part of this group called Shiny…or Shinee…or something bright. Kami has heard of them--but then again who hasn't? They ruled the school with their good looks and different personalities. She wasn't fairly interested in them--but Myra and Soo In kept tabs on them. Apparently Taemin was the maknae of the group--which mean that he also came equipped with boyish good looks and this sugary cute personality. He was always smiling and laughing about something. Taemin always caused trouble in a way that kept people in good spirits. 

Case in point. 

Taemin walked back into the classroom with the TA who he was tormenting earlier. "Noona…I think he fell for it." He whispered quietly.

She looked at him worriedly, "Do you think so? He looked so lost Taeminnie."

"I PROMISE you noona…he DEFINITELY got the point. If not…I'm going to have to cause more trouble."

"Ohhh no you don't! I can only handle so much of your 'good natured' fun." She scolded him…very mildly.

He laughed, "You still love me either way noona. I guarantee you hyung will kiss you for Christmas and if he doesn't--then he's a babo and you don't need to be with him."

She smiled softly, "Babo Taemin…" She looked up and saw Kami watching them. She suddenly cleared and her voice changed to something more profession, "Taemin-ssi as for your punishment--"

"MOH!? WAEYO?!" Taemin squeaked.

"You will be having extra classes with Kami up until break."

"MOH?!" Kami and Taemin both yelled out together.

Taemin quickly looked back and saw Kami-- opened in shock. "YAH NOONA! That's NOT fair! You know I have a lot of things I need to do before break."

"I'm sorry Taemin, but you've been slacking off A LOT. I know you love the holiday break and all but you're letting your grades slip in half of your classes. Your parents personally called the school and asked that we do something to help you bring your grades back up. Kami is one of our best students and she's also the one who is doing tutoring sessions for the next few weeks."

Taemin hung his head in shame, then he spun around quickly and like a little child he went stomped his way to his seat at the back of the classroom, sat down and hid under his jacket. 

Kami watched him for a few seconds then turned to the TA, she was shaking her head in disbelief but Kami noticed a small smirk on her face. She was enjoying punishing him. Payback perhaps? Kami sighed…she wasn't sure how this was going to go. She's never talked to the guy or been anywhere close to him. She's never had to be--so why now? What crime had she committed to to receive such a fate? It's not that she didn't want to help the guy--she loved helping people, it's just that…he made her SO uncomfortable. If you asked her how or why he does…she wouldn't be able to tell you. Kami wasn't so sure herself why Taemin gave her an uneasy feeling. He just did.

Oh well she really shouldn't be complaining. It was her own fault for taking up the extra slots that no one else wanted. It was getting closer to break and people were having a hard time concentrating on school or keeping motivated to do schoolwork. Lee Taemin was a huge example of that. She learned that that afternoon during their first tutoring session. 

"SHIRO!" Taemin yelled and threw his book up into the air. It flew a few inches and landed next to Kami, causing her to flinch. 

She looked at him shocked and he just glared at his book, pouting at it annoyance. He suddenly looked up, a bright smile on his face. "Kami-ssi. How about we skip this and pretend that we did it? I'm sure you have better things you need to do? A boyfriend to see? Friends to go hang out with?" He said trying to convince her to let him go.

She shook her head, "Anniyo, not really. The group is prepping for their finals and I've been using the tutoring sessions to take up my free time." She avoided answering the one about a boyfriend. 

He groaned, "C'mon…let's just get out of here. I really don't need to be here. I'm doing fine in my classes. I'll ace my exams anyways."

"But she said your grades were slipping."

"Yeah well she's still mad at me. I was just trying to help her get her relationship with hyung jump started. Not my fault he's too chicken to kiss her. Anyways my grades always do during this time of the year. It's CHRISTMAS!"

She just stared at him blankly. The word had no effect on her.

"Hellooooo." 

"Moh?"

"Christmas?"

Again she was silent and expressionless.

"Why aren't you screaming with giddiness?" 

"Because I don't want to?" She answered confused.

He sighed. "Here try it on me. Just say 'Because it's Christmas'." He said to her.

"Christmas." She said with no enthusiasm. 

His face planted into the table, shaking it from the impact. "At least say it like you mean it??"

"Uhmmm…Christmas?!" She said with a fake smile.

Taemin's head popped back up and a huge bright smile was on his face. "YAYYY!! CHRISTMAS!!" He turned to look at her and the same blank stare was still on her face. "Chincha…the word 'Christmas' does nothing for you?"

"Not really. I don't see what's so great about Christmas. I mean Santa isn't even re--"

"ANNIYOOO!" He roared and pointed at her, "Don't you dare say it!! Aish!" He grunted and had a pained expression on his face as he started to hit his chest with his fist, if he ate something bad and it wouldn't go down. "Yaaaaah…what's wrong with you? You should be careful with the things that you say." He scolded her.

"YAH! Maybe you should grow up!" She said getting defensive.

"I'm out of here." He said getting up from the table and leaving. She didn't even try to stop him--she was glad to be getting rid of him. 

However…after he left and she was left alone to think--she started to really wonder about herself. Was something truly wrong with her? Just because she didn't believe in the magic of Christmas anymore…doesn't mean she could go and ruin it for everyone else around her. She was being a pessimistic little brat and she's pretty much ruining everyone's mood around her. Kami sighed, she better go apologize to her friends--and maybe Taemin. She should be thankful that there are still people like them around. Those who kept up with the facade of Christmas, even though they know the truth. She should be more like that…right? 

Kami sighed. "Never happening…" She muttered to herself and went back to studying for her own finals…since tutoring was over for the rest of the afternoon.

(A Few Days Later…)

Kami walked into the study lounge, it was getting down to the wire and officially it was crunch time. She paused as she entered the room and stared at Taemin. He sat at the desk, his books open in front of him, but an annoyed look plastered all over his boyish face. 

"Moh?" He asked as she stood staring at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's study time…and you're late."

"You didn't come the past few days…I didn't expect to see you here now." She pointed out.

"Well…I had nothing else to do."

"Kojidmal. I heard you getting a lecture from sonsaengnim earlier. What did you do to her now?" Kami asked as she took her seat in front of him.

Taemin glanced at her and as she watched his face, she didn't realize how cute the guy really was. Especially when he was annoyed. It was quiet for a moment and she figured he wasn't going to tell her. It's not like they were on the friendliest of terms. Kami shrugged and turned to grab her things from her bag. Suddenly Taemin let out a loud sigh and his palms hit the table top. "YAH! That crazy noona, I'm JUST trying to help her but she keeps yelling at me."

"What do you mean? You didn't use the mistletoe excuse again did you?"

"Anniyo!" He said but there was a guilty look in his brown eyes. 

"You're a REALLY bad liar."

"Hmmm…noona said the SAME thing." 

Kami shook her head and started to look through her notes. Taemin watched her for a moment as she tucked a strand of her brown hair behind her ear as she read. A thought occurred to him suddenly. "Yah…let's move our study session to a different area."

"Wae?"

"I can't think in here…I need something more…appropriate."

"Are you going to run out on me again?" She asked him.

"Only if you don't repeat what you were going to say last time…and once I'm in a more comfortable place--anniyo."

She looked at him, staring him down as she considered it. "Araso." She agreed easily, even she had to admit a nice change of scenery might do them both good.

Kami followed Taemin to a whole different building in general. As they turned down a hall--the smell of sweet confectionary enveloped her. "Taemin-ssi…" She started.

"Shhhh." He said and kept walking, she sighed and just followed him. Finally he came to a door and walked straight in. Inside were a few other students, she recognized the other members of Shinee, as they stood around talking excitedly. They had entered the Culinary School building and were standing in one of the cooking classrooms. 

"Hyungs!" Taemin shouted gleefully and walked up to them.

"Ohh…Taemin-ah! What are you doing here? I thought you had tutoring?" Onew asked.

"I do…" Taemin said and tilted his head towards Kami.

"Annyeong!" The members said to her warmly.

She nodded, "Annyeong."

"YAHH! ARE YOU GUYS BAKING COOKIES WITHOUT ME!?" Taemin shrieked. As if on cue a timer dinged and Taemin rushed over to the oven. He bounced around from side to side waiting for Jonghyun to take the cookies out of the oven. "PAAAALIII!!" Taemin roared.

Minho laughed, "Yah…he gets worse every year." 

Key shook his head, "You'd think he'd be less excited as he gets older--but it's just the opposite."

Taemin's eyes grew widely as he stared at the freshly baked gingerbread cookies, "CHUUUUUU…I'm going to eat all of you! Starting with you." He pointed to one, "And then you…" He pointed to another one as he chose the order of their demise.

"YAH! You can't eat them all babo!" Onew scolded him, a grin still on his face. 

"WAEEE!?" Taemin whined. He turned and caught a glance of Kami as she stood awkwardly to the side, not saying anything or looking at anyone. He quickly walked over to her and grabbed her by the hand, pulling her towards the cookies.

"What are you doing!?" She asked shocked.

"Involving you in some festive fun."

"I don't have time for this Taemin-ssi!"

He ignored her as they came up to the table where the cookies sat. He held out her hand and placed some sort of tube in her hand. "Decorate…NOW!" 

"Shouldn't we study first??"

"Stress-reliever. I can't really think until I do something else."

"Moh? Taemin-ssi that makes no--"

"Sssshhh…concentrating. Don't bother the artist at work."

She looked at what he was doing and he was already involved in decorating his gingerbread man. She huffed and looked up…the other members were also busy with their own tasks. She watched them all and they were laughing and giggling with each other. She looked at Taemin again and the concentration on his face--gave him a much more mature look. She looked down and noticed that his gingerbread man had a ridiculous look on his face. She burst out laughing suddenly.

Taemin looked at her, watching her as she laughed. She covered her face with her books but the sound of laughter still floated towards him. He blushed slightly but went back to decorating. "You better start decorating yours…if not the gingerbread is going to get too cold and the icing won't spread as easily."

"Oh?" She said and for some reason she found herself decorating a gingerbread man that afternoon.

As they decorated, Shinee began to sing Christmas carols to really put them in the mood. Kami found herself humming along with them as she continued to decorate loads of cookies. From gingerbread men to sugar cookies shaped as various Christmas items. The mood was very relaxing and enjoyable…and Kami was surprised that she was really having fun. She wasn't sure if it was because of Taemin and scores of ridiculous jokes…or the fact that he just seemed like an overly-excited kid, either way--he was starting to rub off on her.

Finally the cookies were done and they were sitting out to dry. Kami looked at the clock and gasped, "OMO! I'M LATE!" She quickly grabbed her things, "AISH! I got ZERO studying done." She scolded herself. The members of Shinee looked at her, unsure of what to say or do. She suddenly ran out of the room.

Taemin tilted his head, "Hmmm…not even a goodbye?" He wondered.

She suddenly popped back in and bowed to them, "Kamsamhamnida for letting me help you decorate. Mianhae but I have to go!" She said and dashed out again. 

Minho laughed, "She's interesting."

Key turned to look at Taemin and nudged Minho, "You aren't the only person to think so." 

The older members turned to look at their maknae who was longingly staring out of the door, as if waiting for her to pop back in again.
 

(Christmas Eve)

Kami wasn't sure what prompted her to do so…but she ended up going shopping one day and picking up small gifts for her family and friends. She was sure she could probably blame it all on Taemin. She had been hanging out with him a lot more recently, due to their tutoring sessions--and with each session they infused both studying and the holiday spirit. A compromise if you will. Her friends were away on their trips, but Kami had wished them loads of fun and wished them a happy holiday. Everyone asked her one last time if she wanted to join them--but she still refused, telling them that she really just wanted to spend time with her parents.  Which she did.

Her family sat around their small table enjoying their yearly Christmas dinner. It was the only time of the year that they truly allowed themselves to enjoy an extravagant dinner. As appa cooked the galbi stew, omma prepared the side dishes and Kami set the table. They ate and chatted happily, not letting the stress of their everyday lives invade their moment. Finally they were eating dessert when Kami got up and disappeared for a quick second to get their gifts. 

"What's this?" Appa asked as he turned his gift around.

"Christmas presents." Kami grinned.

"Wae?? I didn't know we were exchanging gifts!" Omma said with shock.

"I didn't get you anything!" Appa added.

Kami shook her head with a bright smile, "Just having you as my parents are enough. You gave me the gift of life, food, shelter, and love. What more could I ask for?"

Omma had tears in her eyes and Appa beamed with pride, "Waaah…I still feel like a loser for not getting you anything."

Kami rolled her eyes, "Just open your gift appa!"

"ARASO!" He said, but he was grinning wildly as he tore into his gift like a kid. "OHHH!!" He exclaimed with excitement as he turned the notebook in his hands. 

"Appa…we used to draw together all the time. I miss your comics that you used to make for me. I don't want you to forget what you love to do." She said.

Appa looked at her, "Komowayo Kami-ah…I will definitely make use of it."

"And omma…you have been so busy taking care of me and appa. I don't want you to forget about yourself. So I want you to always remember that you deserve a break too." Kami watched as her omma held the antique mirror and makeup bag, filled with goodies, close to her chest. She leaned over and hugged Kami tightly.

"My best gift was having a great a daughter." She whispered to her.

Kami blushed. They talked for a bit and then slowly cleaned up. Afterwards Kami walked into her room and laid down on her bed, exhausted. Her cellphone suddenly went off and she groaned, but picked up anyways.

"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" She heard all three of her friends scream into the phone. 

Kami laughed, "What are you guys doing!?" 

"WE MISSED YOU SILLY!"

"And we didn't want you to think that we forgot about you…"

"Or that we're not thinking of you and just having a blast without you."

"I would never thinking that." Kami said.

"KOJIDMAL!" They all screamed, causing her to laugh again. She chatted with them for a bit before they finally let her go. She kept yawning loudly into the phone and their chatter was putting her at ease, oddly enough. She finally hung up with them and closed her eyes. 

Only to have her cellphone go off again.

"AISH! LET ME SLEEP!" She yelled into the phone.

"Mianhae."

"Taemin-ssi?" Kami's eyes flew open and shot up in bed.

"Ne."

"Chwe song hamnida! I thought you were my friends…calling to keep me from sleeping."

"Oh? Ahh…oops it is pretty late isn't it?"

"Anni…gwenchanah. Did you need something?"

"Can you meet me tomorrow?" He asked.

"Wae?"

"Oh…you're busy." 

"Anni…it's just…aren't YOU busy? It is your favorite day of the year."

"Ne…but I want to show you something. Just come to Autumn Park at dinner time. Araso?"

"Ne." She readily agreed. 

"Good see you then. Goodnight." He said and quickly hung up. Kami looked at her phone and then tilted her head. She was confused--but then again she was also tired. She sighed and laid back down into bed--falling asleep fairly easily. 
 

(Christmas Day)

Kami lounged around the house all day with her parents, watching Christmas specials on tv and fighting each other over the last marshmallow to put in their cocoa. Finally she excused herself to go meet with Taemin at the park. He was waiting for her at the main gates, bundled up in a stylish jacket, a huge scarf wrapped around his neck and lower half of his face. However as she got closer to him, she could tell from his eyes that he was smiling. Despite the below freezing temperatures.

"YOU MADE IT!" 

"Of course…" She stated.

"C'mon! I want to show you something." He quickly turned and entered the park, Kami close on his heels. 

As they ventured deep into the park, Kami heard the distinct laughter of children coming towards her. They hit a clearing and saw kids and adults ice skating. He walked over to a booth where the other Shinee members were congregating. 

"Kami-ssi! You made it!" Minho greeted her.

"Annyeong!" She greeted them happily.

"Welcome to our Winter Wonderland." Onew said grinning.

"Every year we bake cookies and invite the orphanages in our area out to celebrate Christmas. These kids give us inspiration each and every day. They're always waiting for a family--and the holidays are some of the toughest times for them. So we invite them out and just try to ease their pain a little, by letting them escape and just be kids." Taemin said to her.

Key grinned, "We also hold a small concert for the kids too, doing sing-a-longs and what not…they sing better then us half of the time."

Kami hung out with the group, helping them out with their volunteer like work. She watched as they sung…and even joined in, quietly. She really wasn't that prepared to sing loud enough for anyone to hear her. She was saving them from going deaf--that's all. After awhile, Taemin pulled her away to a more secluded spot to rest.

"How are you doing?" He asked, his cheeks rosy from the cold, but his boyish smile still graced his face.

"I'm good…this was a lot of fun Taemin-ssi. Komowayo for inviting me out."

He shook his head, "No worries. So how do you feel about Christmas now?" He asked.

She thought about it for a moment, "It's still not my favorite holiday--but I'm slowly starting to remember the true spirit of this holiday. It's not about receiving but the looks on people's faces when you're giving gifts. I forgot how important even the smallest of gifts can be and the feelings that are involved with this season." 

He nodded, "Good…"

"Why do YOU like Christmas so much?"

"The whole idea of the holiday just excites me. I just can't explain--it's not that I don't want to grow up. It's just…I don't want to forget as I grow up, the whole idea of love and laughter. Besides…there's another reason for me inviting you tonight."

"Ehhh??" She tilted her head to the side as she looked at him curiously. Taemin had been watching her for awhile now, his eyes locked onto her face, gazing at her sweetly. 

Taemin leaned down towards her swiftly, his arms wrapped around her, and she felt his warm breath against her face. His lips touched hers and she was quite surprised at how warm they were. She slowly melted into his kiss and her eyes began to close, as she kissed him back gently.

He pulled away from her, "Merry Christmas." He whispered to her.

Something soft and cold hit her cheek and instantly melted away from the heat of her face. They both looked up at the sky and watched as beautiful large snowflakes descended down from the dark night sky.

"Hmm…the first snow fall…" Kami whispered. She looked at Taemin and he was looking at her again. She blushed softly and turned away. "Merry Christmas Taemin-ssi. This has been the best gift of all."