begging
I Still BelieveBackground music: BigBang - Bad Boy
G.O.’s POV
“It’s all over… I’m… I’m very sorry…” she said while her eyes are looking down. I don’t want to believe every word she said. I held her hand tightly, hoping that she’ll wake me up from this nightmare. ‘Please… wake me up…’ I plead as tears are starting to fall out from my eyes. “Please… give me one more chance? Let us be together again… just please… stay with me…” I plead as my tears fall down my cheeks. “You’re asking for another chance? Why? I’ve waited for almost a year hoping that you will ask me back… but… what did you do? You… you entertained other girls?” I can feel her anger through her voice, I know, it’s my fault. I never thought that this will happen; I had faith in her, in us. But I guess… I ruined everything.
My head is blurred. The only thing that I see is her. I want her back so badly. “What do you want me to do? Do you want me to kneel and beg? I’ll do it. Just please don’t leave me? Please?” I am crying furiously, asking and begging for her not to leave. “Stop!” she yelled as she held my elbows to stop me from kneeling. I immediately hugged her tightly, “Please… please don’t do this to me…” she removed my hands and slightly pushed me back but held my arms, “Just stop, G.O…. I begged you a lot of times too to come back to me… but what? It never happened…” I know how painful it was for her, but I have my reasons why I did not give what she wants. She started to cry, pain and hatred can be reflected in her eyes. “Please… Just go home and rest.” I can still feel that she really cares for me. I won’t give up on her. I love her so much. I looked at her in the eyes but she turned her gaze away. I held her arms tightly, but she remained silent, signaling that she wants me to leave.
End of POV
*Flashback*
G.O.’s POV
I and Joori were together for almost 5 years, but after our 4th year anniversary, we decided to break up and stay as bestfriends for the mean time. Well, I was the one who proposed the idea, and she just agreed.
It was hard… for both of us. I never thought that Joori is having a hard time more than I do. But she tried to keep it to herself most of the time. There were times that she’ll cry and will ask me to come back to her. I have my reasons that are why I never responded to her the way she wants me to. But believe me, I really wanted to.
Reasons? Well, I want to come back to her if I can say that I am a “man” already. Someone who can provide and stand on his own feet, with a stable job and everything a woman wants. And… I really want us to grow on our own, for our own, for God, individually. And yes, I allowed myself to be influenced by people around me. Most of them are saying that my relationship with God should be prioritize first before loving someone else aside Him. They were also saying that I am not yet man enough to enter a relationship. Guess what, I believed in them. I end up believing every word they say and hurt the one I love, Joori.
After several months, we are stable as bestfriends. It’s still like ‘us’ but not. How do I put it, more than friends but less than lovers? Well… people put it this way, ‘friends with benefits’.
Until one day, girls are starting to get close to my premises. Hey! I am not boasting here, but there are some who is getting attracted to me. And because of my guy instinct, I entertained them, thinking that I am single and I am not looking for any commitments.
One afternoon…
“Yah… who is this So Yeon?” Joori asked me with curiosity and I can feel her jealousy from her voice. “Oh. Yeah. She is a co-worker from our company. The newbie, remember? I told you about her already.” I said as plain as possible. She glared at me and continued browsing my handphone. Yes, we still have that kind of privileges with one another. Seconds later, her eyebrows met and read a message aloud, “Yes. Its okay. Let us meet up next week, Wednesday… after work?!?! From Ji Yeon…?!” she glared at me again. “Hm. I invited her to have a friendly date. That’s all.” I shrugged. Ji Yeon is the other girl who likes me. We became close after exchanging several messages and all, but I never see her nor So Yeon as a partner or someone I will commit to. “For what? I thought….” She puts my handphone down and went outside the house.
She went back after 5mins with soju bottles on her hands. “C’mon. Let’s drink up! Cheers to your date!” she said with a very sarcastic voice. I just kept quiet and joined her from drinking soju.
After an hour, she is starting to get all tipsy and drunk. “Hihihi… all along I thought we are not going to have dates until we decided to finish everything between us…” she said while looking at her glass of soju. I can see that tears are starting to fall from her eyes. “Joori-shi…” I tried to touch her but she immediately took her shot of soju. “Aackkkk~! You! You liar… Wae? Huh? Why are you doing this to me? Hm? What does she have that I don’t? Hm?” her machine gun questions started to attack me.
End of G.O.’s POV
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