------

 

The bell rang indicating that his last subject had ended. Hyukjae picked up his books and neatly placed them in his bag. Today is the day that he will meet his stalker-slash-admirer-slash-crush and he’s been nervous ever since morning. He barely slept a wink last night since he’s been thinking whether he should show up or not. What if it’s a bad person and something bad will happen to him? He doesn’t even know basic self-defense to defend himself. But when he thinks more about it, as what he gathered with the little information of his stalker, it is someone he knew…well, he only knew a few people and they seem not a bad person –or he just thought?

 

Deep with his thoughts, he didn’t notice that he arrived in front of his locker. Ever since he received the note, it was the last time he also received a rose from this stranger. It just amazed him how his locker felt empty and lonely. How could this one single rose do its magic? He was used to receiving a stem everyday and it made him sad when it stopped.

 

“Oh.” he uttered when he saw a yellow rose inside.

 

After he knew that there’s a meaning to each color of the flower, he started to search more about them. He especially takes notes of the colors that he received. Yellow is for friendship that is for sure. 

 

He took the rose and checked the note attached to it. 

 

“It all started with Friendship.

I Hope I won’t lose this relationship that I have with you”

 

It just makes him more nervous after he reads the note. Is he really close to this person to the point they were afraid to lose their friendship? He already made a decision last night as he analyzed what he felt about the whole situation. He just hoped he would not regret it.

 

“Hyuk hyung!” 

 

Startled, Hyukjae turned to the person who called him, “oh, Kyu. Are you in a hurry? Where are you going?”

 

“Hyung, did you see Ryeowook?” Kyuhyun urgently asked, catching his breath while he looked around looking for Ryeowook.

 

“I haven’t seen him today. Why? Did something happen?” 

 

“Oh.” Kyuhyun answered, taking deep breaths. “No. N-Nothing happened?” 

 

Hyukjae frowned. “Why aren't you sure?”

 

“huh? No I’m not. err, I mean I am sure” Kyuhyun clarifies.

 

Hyukjae felt something was off but he just let it slide. Maybe he’s just nervous all day and it influenced his judgment.  “Wanna go to the cafeteria? I haven’t eaten yet. I’ll be meeting Donghae after lunch”

 

“no, I can’t. I need to hide!” Kyuhyun said with his big eyes looking like a scared cat

 

“hide?” Hyukjae said, confused. “from who?”

 

“from Ryeowook!”

 

“What did you do this time, Kyu?”

 

“I didn’t do anything, I swear!”

 

“really? Then why are you running?”

 

“Well, I might’ve said something that offends him,” the younger man confessed. 

 

“and that is?” Hyuk asked.

 

Kyuhyun sighed before he answered “that he’s short”

 

“Oh boy, you really better hide” Hyukjae shakes his head. “tsk. tsk. you know how he hates to be called short, right?”

 

“Yeah I know! but I swear! it was supposed to be a pick up line but he got mad before I even finished the sentence” he said scratching his head.

 

“you should say sorry to him instead of hiding”

 

“I panicked, okay? He’s ready to attack me, so my initial reaction is to run. Hyung, what should I do?”

 

Hyukjae takes a deep breath. “for a smart person you sure are stupid”

 

“wow? coming from you?” Kyuhyun rebutted. “you’re worse than me in these kind of things, hyung”

 

“Ya! Why are you attacking me? This is not about me-” Hyukjae was about to pinch the younger’s ear but stopped by the vibration of his phone indicating that he received a message. It is from Ryeowook. Speaking of the devil

 

“Who’s that?” Kyuhyun asked

 

“Ryeowook sent me a message” He simply answered. “He’s looking for you, Kyu. Should I reply that you’re with me, hmm?”

 

“Oh God, NO! Don’t you ever dare!”

 

“Okay, okay” Hyukjae chuckled. Amazed at how the other man reacted. Ryeowook is really scary to the point that this brat is afraid of him

 

“I need to leave before he finds me with you here. And before I forgot-” Kyuhyun said as he opened his backpack and pulled out a stem of rose and gave it to him “good luck for later, Hyung. Bye” 

 

“What the hell? Kyu wait-” Before he can even finish his sentence, the man already ran like his life depends on it. He wanted to ask questions but the brat was already gone.

 

Hyukjae checks a very familiar rose on his hand. It is the same rose he previously received but different… It's a yellow rose with a minimal red color on the tip of its petal. He reads the note attached

 

“I just woke up one day realizing the feelings I have for you. 

Your smallest smile is a ray of sunlight upon me”

 

He put the flower on his bag and immediately opened his phone and sent a message to Ryeowook. 

 

// “If you are still looking for Kyuhyun, he’s heading to the Auditorium. Don’t tell him I told you 😉//

 

 A seconds after he received a reply //got it. Thank you 😘//

 

Yeah, a small payback won’t hurt, right? He thought.

 

—

 

“Ughhh..” Hyukjae groans, pressing his head on the table. “I feel my head will burst. ugh”

 

“ Can you stop it?” Said Donghae typing on his laptop “..you’re distracting my concentration” 

 

They’re in their usual place in the library, reading book materials for their research paper that they’re working on for their major subject.

 

“How can I not? I am trying to think about who this person I’ll be meeting later” He sighed for the nth time, pushing the book he’s been reading. “My mind is so tired of thinking. Both for that person and for this subject! Ugh! I can’t believe Mr Kang gave us a tight deadline for this paper!”

 

“If you have started your part earlier then, you would have ample time to procrastinate so stop complaining, Hyuk and continue doing your part so we can finish early” Donghae nagged his best friend. “..and please, for my sanity, quit sighing too. You know I could already count how many times I heard you sighed and it’s already 24 for fck sake!”

 

Hyukjae pouted. “I’m almost done with my part anyways. I’ll do the rest later”

 

Donghae stopped typing on his laptop. He shouldn't be hard on his best friend knowing that the other man is anxious for what will happen later. “Okay. Let's finish this tomorrow then. We still have some time before the deadline” Placing his laptop on the side, cleaning the reading materials that was scattered on the table.

 

“Hyuk, tell me honestly, how do you feel meeting your secret admirer?” Donghae asked.

 

“I-I don’t know” Hyukjae said in a small voice. “Everything made me really confused… and scared”

 

“If you have just listened to me before then you wouldn’t end up here”

 

“Yada yada. I know. I have heard that a million times already” He knew it. He should've listened to them but he just can’t take back the time, can he?

 

“Oh really? And yet you didn’t listen to us, you brat! Now suffer with your anxiety of meeting your stalker”

 

“Can you blame me? I enjoyed receiving the flowers. I thought the sender would stop doing it eventually” he stomped his feet under the table. “I blame Kyuhyun for telling me its meaning because if he didn’t then I wouldn’t have this kind of dilemma! ugh!”

 

“Yah! Kyuhyun did nothing and you can’t just blame him” Donghae said, hitting Hyukjae’s shoulders. “But you like Jongwoon hyung, right?” 

 

“Yes I like him,” biting his lips, Hyukjae said truthfully. 

 

“..but?” Donghae carefully asked, but the other just stared at him.

 

Hyukjae sighed for the nth time. He just needed to count a few seconds before Donghae could figure him out. He and Donghae  have been friends ever since they’re in diapers. They can sense it if the other is sad, happy, mad, and confused. For them, it is easy to read each other.

“Oh my god. You also like your stalker?!” Dongahe yells. “What the Hyuk” 

 

“Yeah, I know,” Hyukjae said desperately. 

 

“Wow! This is the plot twist that I never expected. HAHAHA” Dongahe said laughing at the situation. “No wonder why you really looked like a zombie this morning. You must’ve thought about this a lot.”

 

“I already have my decision last night”

 

“And that is?”

 

“I…I will give it a try” he said in a small voice

 

“oh. Are you sure Hyuk? How about your feelings for Jongwoon hyung?”

 

“I know but can you blame me, Hae? I… yes, I have liked him since day 1. I find him charming—attractive even. Damn! He could wear an old rag and he was still so perfect to my eyes! But the secret admirer happened. Yes, I may not know them but I just can’t disregard the tiny yet strong feelings I felt for that person who leaves roses in my locker. Those gestures made me smile…it made me happy. I want to know them better and I want to return the favor and make them happy just like what they did for me” Hyukjae said, explaining his thoughts. 

 

Donghae can’t help but smile. He is grinning from what he heard. “Have it ever occurred to you that what if… Jongwoon hyung is the person behind this? Maybe he is your secret admirer?”

 

“You see Hae, I have told him about my admirer last time we did a project together, and at that time, I had this hope, wishing it was Jongwoon hyung but he’s just confused as I am. He even helped me trying to figure out who they were”

 

“That ” is the only comment Donghae uttered. Stopping himself before he spills what he knew. A moment later, his phone beeped, indicating he received a message. “Oh. Hyuk, I need to go. Woohyun asked me to play soccer, wanna come?”

 

“Go. I will stay a little longer. I need to rest my eyes. I will take a short nap.” Hyukjae said, placing his head to the table, closing his eyes as he looked for a comfortable position for him to sleep.

 

“Okay, see you later”

 

“Sure, sure, good night” 

 

***

Hyukjae woke up to the vibration of his phone. He doesn’t remember setting his alarm before he took a nap. All of his materials are neatly stacked on the table. Probably, it’s Donghae, he thought.  His best friend is used to him being messy, that's why Donghae took on the task of tidying up his belongings..

 

He stretched his arms and back before he stood up and collected his belongings and placed them in his bag. He stopped when he noticed another flower inside his bag. 

 

“T-this.. wasn’t here before. Now I got 3 roses” The third rose, unlike the other roses, was covered in red most of the half of its petals.

 

Hyukjae groaned when he tried to recall who approached him when he’s asleep. “Idiot. of course you don’t know, you sleep like dead," he said, reprimanded himself. "I am a light sleeper why on earth I didn’t woke up with the smallest sound"

 

Unlike with the previous flowers he received, this has 2 notes folded. Instinctively, he unfolds the first note with the same color as the previous roses.

 

Did you know? You are the  You’re the most beautiful star of my life

This world shines because of you”

 

Hyukjae smiled after reading the note. Cheesy, he thought and could admit the fact that it made the butterfly flies on his stomach.

 

Unfolding the second note, by the looks of the messy penmanship, he already knew who wrote it. He rolled his eyes when he read the first sentence. 

 

“Roses are red, violets are blue. I know a secret and I won’t tell ‘em to you”

 

“Tsch. you are such a kid, Lee Donghae” he commented and read the remaining message.

 

““Roses are red, violets are blue. I know a secret and I won’t tell ‘em to you.”

..Ha! It rhymes, I know, I’m such a genius. Should I join the poetry class?

 

you know  you can count on me Hyuk, right? You are my bestessssttt friend of all time so as a reliable and dependable friend, I won’t let anything bad happen to you. go follow your heart and it won’t disappoint you.

 

P.S: don’t try to hunt me. I'm probably hiding somewhere away from you atm.

 

best of luck!

-LDH

 

Okay. Hyukjae didn’t see it coming. He feels betrayed by his best friend. “how come you call yourself my best friend if you didn’t tell me you knew that person? Ah, Lee Donghae” 

 

—-

He was at their meeting place —45 mins earlier and No, he’s not excited. He just arrived earlier than he expected. He calculated to arrive 10 mins before their meeting time but he didn’t expect there’s no traffic on his way. 

 

He looked at his surroundings, observing the park. Maybe looking for a way out once this meeting turns bad. There’s kids racing each other, elderly jogging around the area, and a group of friends setting up their instruments for a busking session not too far from the bench he’s sitting at.

 

He’s at Seoul park, a 10 mins walk from Mouse Rabbit –his and Jongwoon’s favorite cafe. It is their usual meeting place whenever he asks the man to help with his project for his minor subject. Jongwoon is his senior in college. He’s taking Accountancy while him, Engineering. He didn’t even understand why there’s an accounting course on his curriculum but it seemed to be an angel in disguise to get close to Jongwoon. They met through their common friend, Siwon. And being the school body, Siwon knows a lot of students that could help him with his project. He was so nervous during their first meeting. Jongwoon is giving the vibes of judging you from head-to-toe and the way he looks at him is so intense that he could peed on  his pants. He was so afraid of him not until he smiled that it made him rooted where he stood, thinking “how can this person be so scary and charming at the same time?” 

 

They met frequently for his project and Jongwoon sometimes tutor him for his accounting assignments.  Hyukjae was so amazed with Jongwoon’s character. He seems scary with the way he looks but once you get to know him, he is such a softie. The longer they spent their time together, Hyukjae learned a lot of things that Jongwoon liked. He always talks about his dogs, his love for photography, places for travels, LP collections and his never ending love for coffee—gosh! He spent more time in coffeeshops than he did. Those shared moments became the start of his infatuation with the man that grows deeper as time goes by. He was sure about who he liked until the person who leaves flowers on his locker came. He wasn’t sure anymore. He’s confused and lost. 

 

Hyukjae checked his phone. 20 mins before their meeting time. He still has a lot of time to decide whether to ditch or not. Him, a person who has a low patience in waiting makes him back out until he sees a familiar face smiling at him with a familiar flower at hand.

 

“Hi Hyuk!”

 

“S-Siwon?”

 

Siwon? So it's Siwon all along? This is so unexpected.

 

“Hey, did you wait for too long? Sorry, I should’ve been here earlier but I had to meet my professor after the class.”

 

“No. it’s okay, I… I, uhm, my subject finished earlier and my there’s no traffic on my way so I’m early”

 

Hyukjae feels so shy right now. He doesn’t have the courage to look at Siwon. His ears probably turned red. One of his quirks when he’s flustered.

 

“I see…” Siwon with his megawatt smile, offers the rose to him “..here Hyukie. Can I sit beside you?”

 

“oh, sure and thank you for this,” Hyukjae said while receiving the flower. Unlike with the 2 roses he received, this one is almost a red rose but the yellow color is still visible at the bottom.

 

“So.. Siwon, you are the person who left roses in my locker?” The situation makes it obvious but he still wants to confirm it.

 

“Hmn…,” Siwon smiled, showing his dimples. Hyukjae took it as a confirmation.

 

“Oh” Oh. indeed. Now it’s clear. The message, the signal and the puzzle is now all clear to him. A love that bloomed after friendship. So it’s Siwon, the first friend he made in college. “This is so unexpected, Won. When did you start liking me?”

 

“Hmm…” Siwon smiled at his question as if he knew he would react that way. “When?” He asked and Hyukjae noded. “I have always liked you ever since the 2nd semester of our freshman year. It started during our PE class. You know that I don’t dance and yet you’re patient enough to teach me the steps. You laugh at my silly jokes and you’re so thoughtful. You didn’t treat me differently after knowing who my family are. with simple reasons of liking you goes deeper as we hang out together”

 

“Oh” is the only response Hyukjae could utter.

 

“I liked you Hyukjae. Please don’t make this a reason for us to be awkward” Siwon smiled at him hopefully “I know you already like someone, Hyuk and I don’t want to make things complicated”

 

“W-What are you saying? I can’t seem to understand it, Won?”

 

“What I am saying is–“ Siwon was cut short because of the echo coming from the mic from the busking. “speaking of the devil”

 

“Mic test, mic test. Ya! Choi Siwon, time’s up!”

 

Both men look where the voice came from. Hyukjae can’t say anything as he is clueless with what’s happening. Ryeowook is holding a guitar, Kyuhyun is on the keyboard smiling devilishly to him and Donghae? Yes, it’s Donghae and he’s sitting on the drums, making a puppy look. What is happening?

 

“You are really strict with the time, Ryeowook,” Siwon shouted, crossing his arms. 

 

“Everything goes with my timetable. Be glad I still gave you  time to talk things out with Hyukjae” Ryeowook bickered back.

 

“Well, thank you for your consideration”

 

“well, you’re welcome” Ryeowook parroted back copying Siwon’s tone

 

“it’s a sarcasm”

 

“I know, and I don’t care!”

 

“Wait , wait, wait! What's happening? Can someone please enlighten me? and wtf? Kyuhyun and Donghae? How dare you show your faces after what you did to me?”

 

“I am sorry Hyuk ehehe” Donghae said, giving him a peace sign.

 

“Well, in my defense, I just did what I was told,” Kyuhyun reasoned, which made Siwon facepalm. stubborn, maknae.

 

“What are you guys doing here, exactly? Are you guys snitching on me?” Hyukjae asked Ryeowook expecting an answer.

 

“We are here for busking, duh?” Ryeowook said laughing “Hyung, isn't it obvious?” 

 

“this little—“ Hyukjae was about to run to Ryeowook but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

 

“They came here for my moral support,” said the person standing next to him.

 

“–Mary, mother of Christ!. What the hell! When did you get there?”  Hyukjae curses holding his chest which made Siwon look at him “what? Mary is the mother of Christ though. Is she not?” 

 

“No cursing, Hyukie” Siwon warned him

 

“I…” Hyukjae is lost and his friends didn’t help to enlighten him with what’s happening. “Hyung, why are you here?” He asked.

 

“You told me to come here” then smiled to Hyukjae 

 

“I didn’t—“

 

“You said, 6pm” Jongwoon said, fishing out his phone to show the time. “6pm sharp”

 

Hyukjae tried to digest what’s happening. He looked at Siwon for an answer but the latter smiled at him then  shook his head. “I’m sorry Hyukjae, I’m not the person you’re looking for” 

 

“Hyung… you..?” 

 

Jongwoon smiled and gently pinched Hyukjae’s cheek —a gesture he always does when he finds something adorable –and yes, Hyukjae is included on the list. In his dictionary, adorable means Hyukjae. He went where their other friends were and Ryeowook then handed him the mic.

 

*PLEASE LISTEN TO CONFESSION BY YESUNG”

 

“I like you Lee Hyukjae, so much more than I expected.. You probably didn’t know but we first met during the University fair. You were screaming when you saw me” Jongwoon suppressed a chuckle, recalling their first encounter."Who wouldn’t scream if they saw chucky doll with a toy knife running after them in a horror house, right? I feel bad that time because I am hundred percent sure you were about to cry”

 

Hyukjae instantly recalled the memory. It was during their freshman year, he and Donghae lost a bet with Kyuhyun so as a punishment, they had to go in the horror house booth. At first they were laughing with the silly horror designs when they entered but their laughter soon faded when they walked down the booth. It gets creepier and scarier in the middle. Both men are scared to finish the horror trail. Hyukjae felt someone tapping his shoulders and when he turned his head, he saw a bloody chucky with a bloody toy knife on his hand. He screamed and on his peripheral vision he saw Donghae run so he also ran, saving his life but the chucky guy was also running after them. It was an epic horror house experience that he wouldn’t forget.

 

…”when you came to me asking me to help you with your project. I thought you would recognize me but then you looked like a scared rabbit waiting to be eaten by a lion. You looked adorably cute.Though I wonder, with and without a costume, am I really that scary? Jongwoon took a deep breath to ease his nervousness then continued. “ I first thought that I might like you as a brother but I was wrong. I like you more than that, and I like you more than I like my friends. Itried to hold it until it fades but it seemed to go deeper and wanted to be released. I’m in an endless rabbit hole Hyuk, what should I do? You live on my head rent free. I don’t know how to confess, but can you just please listen to this song?” He pleads.

 

Speechless is an understatement for Hyukjae right now. It feels like everything happened so fast and he can’t keep up. All he can recall is Jongwoon confessed to him. fck! “the love of his life” (as Donghae described) confessed to him! It is something that he never expected nor imagined. He’s hyperventilating inside. He wanted to scream. It is too much for him to handle in one day.

 

Jongwoon gives him a short smile and a nod to their friends as a cue to start playing the song.

 

🎶 I remember that unforgettable smile
I’m filled with thoughts of you
What kind of spell did you cast on me?
The flower of my heart is blooming

 

(Hey) can you hear my heart?
(Only you) You’re the most beautiful star of my life
This world shines because of you
If we are together 🎶

 

He knew this song. He is familiar with the tune as he always heard Jongwoon humming to it when they were together. He asked him one time to sing the whole song since he gets LSS with it but he refused. little did he know this will be the day he finally gets to hear the full song.

 

🎶 No words, no expressions can express my heart
But that’s alright
Love isn’t always easy
Should I go to you with flowers?
I want to hold your empty hand
And confess my love to you with courage 🎶

 

Hyukjae can feel the chaos of the butterflies in his stomach. ghaaaad! Jongwoon never leaves his eyes on him. He’s singing his heart out and Hyukjae can feel his sincerity.

 

🎶I laugh for no reason these days
Dreaming about you is part of my daily life
Our first text messages
I read them over and over again

 

You are like a good scent
Slowly, we are resembling each other
Today, I want to walk while holding your hand
Each day that we grow closer feels like a dream 🎶

 

Hyukjae is in awe of what he’s witnessing. He often hears Jongwoon sing ballads or rock songs but he never ever heard him rap. He could give him A for his effort in trying though.

 

🎶Even when I just stay still
I suddenly think of you
Then I start laughing like a fool
I like your smile when you look at me
If only I could see if every day🎶

 

He let out a chuckle digesting the lyrics. It was as if describing him. daydreaming about Jongwoon has become part of his daily routine and smiling like a fool. 

 

🎶No words, no expressions can express my heart
But that’s alright
Love isn’t always easy
Should I go to you with flowers?
I want to hold your empty hand
And confess my love to you with courage

 

Even if we were just a typical, passing by fate
I don’t think I can ever forget you

 

No words, no expressions can express my heart
But that’s alright
Love isn’t always easy
Should I go to you with flowers?
I want to hold your empty hand
And confess my love to you with courage🎶

 

Singing the last line, Jongwoon winked at him and his mind started to malfunction. He’s getting brave after his public confession. Hyukjae thought.  He watched him pull a stem of rose on the paper bag near the speaker and walked towards him.

 

“I haven’t sent you this color yet because I don’t have the courage to tell you how much I feel, but today is the perfect time. I like you Hyukjae, will you please go out with me?” He said as he offered him the rose.

 

Everyone's eyes are glued on them anticipating his reply. Hyukjae smiled, nodding at him, accepting the rose. Does he have to ask? He thought it was obvious that he likes him?  

 

“Yes, hyung. I would love to go out with you—“ He didn’t even finish talking when Jongwoon pulled him into his embrace. He can hear the older man’s heartbeat. it was also racing just like his. They were on their own world to notice the congratulations of their friends and bystanders who witnessed the event.

 

“Hyung, I thought I already gave you so many hints that I like you?”

 

“Yeah, you did. But just like what I told you during our tutoring sessions, the basic principle of accounting; Do not assume otherwise it is stated, and now, I am making a statement here.

 

Hyukjae left out a whine. ugh! that accounting principle “You know I hate accounting” 

 

Jongwoon chuckles, patting Hyukjae’s head gently.

 

 

 

---------------

 

Thank you for reading!