She observes worriedly as Seulgi gulps glass after glass of alcoholic drinks. The woman is sitting on the other side of the room, surrounded by a bunch of their friends. She watches her conversing with them, cracking jokes, laughing, looking like she's having fun somehow despite of how fast the liquid in her glass keeps disappearing before the server comes to replace it with a new one.

She has seen enough and can't just let it happen anymore, so she excuses herself from the small group of people she's sitting with and walks towards the bar to tell the server to slow down the service. She isn't ready to talk to Seulgi yet but she goes over where she is anyway. Their friends immediately tell her to take a seat and join them in drinking the night away. The person sitting on Seulgi's right side scoots aside to give her seat to her so naturally; as if there's a unwritten rule that the spot belongs to her.

She sits down and Seulgi passes a drink to her, which she politely receives and drinks as many pairs of eyes are on her. The conversation continues. Apparently, they were talking about back pain and vitamins, which is incredibly funny considering how loud they were laughing before over some uninteresting topics and also how time flies that they're now at the age of talking about such things at a party. Some of them are clearly drunk.

"Joohyun-unnie used to give us a lot of vitamins," a dancer recalls.

"That's right!" Another agrees. "Going on tour with Red Velvet means getting showered with random gifts."

"Joohyun even gave us money once. It was really funny. She didn't have time to buy anything so she just gave us poundsterlings and told us to go eat." A stylish adds, laughing, eyes searching for another stylish. "Right?"

"Oh, I remember that! It was so funny, we felt like kids being given pocket money during trip overseas." The stylist then starts mimicking her voice and the way she used to speak. "Here, go buy something to eat."

The whole table laughs because even she has to admit that it sounded like her.

"She always acts like it's not a big deal. Like, oh I saw this one the way. Or she would say that the weather is getting colder and throw you a box of hotpacks."

At this point they have started talking like she isn't even there anymore.

"It's December," Seulgi mumbles, sipping her drink.

She turns to look at the her, not quite getting what she's saying.

The dancer on Seulgi's other side heard it too and questions, "What was that?"

Seulgi plays with the glass in her hand. "Joohyun-unnie once gave me a box of chocolates, saying it's December so I got you this. Like, she wouldn't even say that it was a Christmas gift."

They laugh and start teasing her again, making up tsundere-vibe gift-giving phrases that she has never even said before.

"The Christmas gifts were always the cutest," the first dancer says. "I was always most excited for that. But then days later I'd see Seulgi posting similar but better gifts on her Instagram from unnie. So unfair," she jokes.

"You jealous?" Seulgi looks at her, smirking, envoking whistling and laughter from the table.

This is embarrassing. She doesn't need to be exposed this way. Especially not when her mind is all over the place like today. She finishes her drink, waiting for the attention to shift away from her before leaning towards Seulgi. "Seul, you've been drinking quite a lot," she reminds.

Seulgi puts a hand on her knee, rubbing it gently. "It's okay, I'm having fun." Her speech has started to slur.

She gives up, knowing she doesn't have the right to stop a 36 year old woman from drinking - rather responsibly - in the company of friends they've known well and trust.

She waits for a good moment to take her leave, but not before telling one of the dancers she trusts the most to keep an eye on Seulgi and makes sure that she gets back to her room safely. She then goes to Danbi and her now husband to congratulate them one last time.

"Leaving so soon?" Danbi protests.

"Yeah, I had too much to drink," she says, slurring her words and acting a little tipsy on purpose.

Danbi hugs her tightly. "Thank you for coming, Unnie. It really meant a lot to me to see you and Seulgi on my wedding day.

"Of course, wouldn't miss it for the world."

"I hope the next wedding we're going to attend is you two's.." she jokes, adding, "to each other."

It's been a running joke among them that she and Seulgi act like an old married couple. She smiles weakly at that before finally leaving the hall to go back to her room.

-

Joohyun is still tossing and turning in the dark when she hears the doorbell rings. It's a solid doorbell ring this time, not a hesitant knock, and it feels more thunderous than the thunderstorms happening the night before.

When she opens the door, Seulgi - who was leaning on it - almost fell inside.

"I'm not drunk, I'm just a little tipsy," she announces immediately, holding onto Joohyun to balance herself. "My tolerance level has gone way up. Trust me," she says with a silly grin on her face.

She'd be worried if Seulgi wasn't being incredibly adorable. The woman reeks of alcohol and smoke. Seulgi doesn't smoke, or at least the last time they met Seulgi wasn't a smoker. The after party probably continued outdoor where a lot of people started smoking, which is why Seulgi smells that way. It's fine, those things are not enough repellent for her when it comes to Seulgi.

"Let's talk," Seulgi says, as if she's about to start a business meeting.

"I don't think you're in the right condition," she says. Well, neither is she, but for a different reason.

"I won't be able to go to sleep otherwise," she says. "Just give me a bottle of water and I'll be good to talk."

It's unfair. She hasn't had the time to sort out her thoughts yet. When she said we'll talk, she meant one day in Seoul, not on the same date the crime took place.

They sit on the two armchairs by the window, side by side. Seulgi questions her, needing to confirm things she didn't get the chance to earlier, and she tells her - a little more firmly this time - that yes, she sees Seulgi differently now and yes, she has romantic feelings towards her.

"So, what changed?"

Here comes the question that she doesn't even know how to begin to explain because she really doesn't know.

"I don't know how to explain it, Seul," She says honestly. "It just did somehow." 

"Because of the dreams?" The woman presses.

"I don't think it's that simple, but the dreams - that specific dream that I told you before - was the turning point, I guess."

"They say dream is a product of whatever stored in our subconcious mind."

She nods to that, not offering any comments.

"Can you try explaining to me, Unnie? About how the feelings changed. It doesn't have to be something poetic. Just tell me anything. Because I really, really want to know."

"O.. kay," she says unsurely. Taking her time, she goes to the fridge to get something to drink. A can of coke; she hasn't had this in a long time.

Seulgi chuckles softly. "You never changed."

She refrains from explaining that she tries to cut off that poisonous drink from her life and always fails. This time round isn't too bad. She's a few months sober actually. However, this feels like the perfect time to relapse.

"Time and distance probably contribute a lot," she starts explaining - not about the coke, but about her feelings. "Like I used to see you as a colleague, as a younger sister. The-"

"Someone you were responsible of," Seulgi adds and she nods agreeingly.

"The lines were rather bold back then. But now, it's.. blurred? I mean, we'll always be Red Velvet, but those leader-member, unnie-dongsaeng dynamics between us are not really there anymore. We also don't see each other every day anymore."

"We haven't seen each other in over a year." Seulgi points out, sounding a little sad.

"That's right."

"Distance makes the heart grow fonder?"

She contemplates the phrase. "Not quite. I was always fond of you. Fonder and fondest. It just.. changed. Just like that." She's about to stop there before she suddenly remembers something else, so she continues, "Sometimes, when I'm traveling or whenever I go someplace nice, I always imagine how nice it would be if you were there by my side. When I see something beautiful, eat something delicious, I feel like I want to share those experiences with you."

"That's sweet." Seulgi comments with a soft smile on her face. She then keeps quiet for a little while until she speaks again. "And I also grew up to be a very attractive woman that no lesbian can resist.. so.. ouch!" She stops after receiving a slap on her thigh.

They both laugh at that. She realizes that the long pause was probably Seulgi fighting that intrusive thought that eventually won.

"I've always said that you were a very attractive woman, Seul. Remember when I told you that I would certainly hit on you if I saw you as a stranger in a bar?" She asks, which Seulgi confirms with a shy nod. "But yes, you definitely have gotten even more attractive as you got older."

A very attractive smile appears on that beautiful face, it makes her dizzy.

"So, what's the purpose of you telling me all this? I mean about the changed feelings. Do you only need to get it out of your chest.. or.. are you.." Seulgi leaves the question hanging.

Joohyun understands. Otherwise why would someone confess their feelings?

"Am I too late?" she asks in whispers. Her voice shakes.

Seulgi replies also in whispers, "For?"

"For loving you the way you wanted me to?"

The raven smiles mysteriously, looking down at her hands. She then suddenly gets up and goes to Joohyun's side, cornering her, hands tightly gripping each arm of the chair. She bends down, putting them at the same eye level. Their faces are so close.

She feels trapped, but not in a way that makes her feel uncomfortable. Seulgi is probably drunker than she wants to admit and she does weird things when she's drunk. However, a lot of this feels like a déjà vu. The hotel room, the alcohol, them and the situation. It nearly gives her PTSD.

What Park Sooyoung said from so many years ago suddenly rings in her ear.

'You've been taking advantage of her. Must be nice having someone who can play a role as your girlfriend without actually having to commit to them, right?'

No, she's not that kind of a person. At the very least not to Seulgi. She would never take advantage of her. At the very least not on purpose.

She isn't sure what Seulgi is going to do. If this is her tactic of intimidation or if she's only trying to search for truth in her eyes, but there's a worry that Seulgi might do something else and she - as the sober person in this room - feels the need to stop it from happening.

She leans back a littl