[CONTENTID1] Gone. [/CONTENTID1]

 

[CONTENTID2] We used to be happy, but now is a different story. We barely had time to spare each other, because we are both busy. I'm busy with my Solo Career as a singer. She was busy being a model and a Girl Group Member. We used to be bandmates, until I quit and signed with ReVeLabel under Son Seungwan Unnie, yes that Son Seungwan who was famous for hitting high notes on her debut, despite her having a vocal chord nodule. She believed in me and signed me as her first two artists, one being her old group, Red Velvet.

Blackpink, my old band was still out and conquering the whole world except Korea as a Trio. I quit because YG Entertainment doesn't give us the freedom to create our own music and after the 7th year, I resigned altogether. It was hard to let go of my band and her. But I had to get creative freedom. I had to do this to get my feelings and thoughts out through song writing. Being given the chance to create my own music was the first thing that appealed to me, but not at all about the freedom, but simply how the label treats their artists.

In YG, we were oppressed bunch of girls who 'don't know' what they are doing. We were treated as if we were Grade School kids, they were strict about the songs we perform, often hand me down songs from the defunct group 2NE1. We mostly recycled every song they rejected. Even listeners to our first hits, could tell that the song was for 2NE1 and not Blackpink. We couldn't go out to have drinks or date, we can't drive on our own although the 4 members already had driver's licences.

YG was a tyrant and although our main producer Teddy Oppa was a nice and encouraging man, CEO of YG entertainment was a different story altogether. We were treated poorly until the very last OT4 comeback. After that, Seungwan Unnie and I met accidentally at a café. We talked and she mentioned that she's opening her own label and is at that time looking for artists to join them. I knew how Seungwan Unnie works, she's like a mother to her members assuming the role of an Unnie, even to the leader of Red Velvet, Bae Joohyun Unnie. Seungwan Unnie is just a caring person, she dotes on her members, always making everyone of her members comfortable. This was the deciding factor for me.

We talked and I said, I recently quit YG effective after the final comeback. I told her that I'd like to join them in 5 months. I wanted 5 months to spend on myself and my girlfriend Lisa, maknae of Blackpink. 5 months of touring Thailand, where she was born, spending time with her mom, Mommy Chippith and Dad Marco. Both our families knew about us, they knew about her and who she was to me. Even the pinks, Jennie Unnie and Jisoo Unnie knew about Lisa and I. We never really tried to deny who we were to each other. Neither did we have a chance to talk about it with our Blinks. It's been 10 years since we've been girlfriends, 10 years of playing stuff off as really close sisters, best friends even.

We should be celebrating today, it was our 10th anniversary today. But Lisa was running 2 hours late. I know she's back here in Korea, we scrambled to get to our shared appartment, she coming from a shoot for Vogue France, I coming home from the solo Korean Tour, I had. CEO Son knew that I'd take a day off during this day and then continue the Korean Tour and then prepare for my world tour after. I sighed at the second hour she hasn't come home just yet. I started to eat my steak that I prepared for us both, because it's already cold. I finished both meats when my door opened abruptly, like she pushed the door harshly.

Enter Lisa, trying her best to juggle the things she had. She had an awful lot in her hands, a mini fraisier cake with a 'Happy Anniversary!' topper on the right, balloons tied to her left wrist and a bouquet of 2 dozens white roses cradled on her left arm. She smiled sheepishly at me, knowing I'd probably scream at her for her tardiness.

"Happy Anniversary! Je t'aime tellement, Chérie." She said smiling at me.

"You're late, Lisa. Not just a few minutes, but 2 hours." I said to her sternly.

"Chérie..." She starts, a nickname we call each other, we visited France a lot, especially during the world tours as Blackpink members. Our favorite place is the French City of Paris and the Eiffel Tower.

"I can explain why I'm late, Chérie. But first, please take this Fraisier Cake from Paris, it's about to melt." She smiled charmingly.

I took the cake and placed it in the fridge. I reappeared back to the dining table, arms crossed over my chest, as she hands me the bouquet of white roses.

"Explain." I said as I took the bouquet and placed it harshly on top of the table.

"The initial flight going back here had some slight technical difficulties. We had to stop over in Dubai for an hour. Then, of course, I can't just show up here with out your bouquet and some balloons and you know what else I've found out Chérie?" She asked me.

"What did you find out this time?" I replied unamusingly

"May 16 is Honor your LGBT Elders' Day a lot of people apparently gives flowers to their LGBT Elders. So, please forgive me Chérie. I searched a lot of flower shops around Seoul, but every bouquet was sold out and these I got because a flowershop said nobody picked it up." Lisa said smiling adorably.

"Come here you, Babo!" I replied to her.

She took a timid step and looked at me with sad eyes. I reached for her neck and encircled her into a warm and tight hug. I ought to tell her I had enough of her being late. But my heart nearly melted as she tried to explain and untangle her situation. One last hug won't hurt, I guess. After letting go of the hug, she said.

"What are we having for dinner?" She asked me.

"I already ate the steaks, but I still have meatball pasta." I replied.

"Your meatball pasta is my favorite anyway." She smiled sweetly.

"Then, take a seat." I replied to her.

I got the meatballs pasta from the table and went to the microwave to reheat the meatball sauce pasta. Lisa was easy to cook for, since according to her, she likes my cooking the most, more than Jennie Unnie when Jennie Unnie was the one who always cooked. Because she encourages me, I went ahead and tried to learn how to cook some of her favorite dishes from Mommy Chippith herself. Over the years, I've had success replicating the dishes Lisa loves. Meatball pasta was my recipe, I learned how to cook this in school. I went to Canterbury Girl's Secondary College. I learned a thing or two from our Home Economics Class. This was our problem, we don't have time for each other anymore. But when she smiles guiltily, I just can't help myself but to hold on to her. She always breaks my heart in the littlest ways possible, now is not an exemption. What kind of lover is 2 hours or more late on your anniversary? Only Lisa does that. I made a deal with myself that this time, I'll break things off with her and talk to her because we are no longer happy and I could feel that she's slipping away, slowly even though she's present and alive. Even though we still text, call and video chat each other, I felt like her warmth had already subsided, like I'm watching her slip through my life and it's hurting me. 

She was my first everything after all, first love, first kiss, first travel buddy, first time travelling outside of Korea, First who actually respected me as a woman, be it regarding my decisions or my body or my opinion, she was the first to respect those. I'll probably love her until the end of time. Even if we were apart, I always find myself remembering those memories. It was as if we drifted away after I signed for ReVeLabel, as if our time under YG was everything there was ever to be between us. As fast as the three years went by, her presence has dwindled as fast as we developed our feelings. It was like watching her slip through my hold over the last 3 years and today as we celebrated our 10th year anniversary, I've seen her fail again to be there with me. It was nice to know of course that she still tried. But I can't help myself seeing her fail time and time again. Like she was trying but still failed at the same time. I have to tell her soon that we should end things. Today, not any other day when I feel like it, because every moment that I see her failing makes me hurt a little. 

Once I finished reheating the meatball pasta that I made, I served it to her and waited for her to finish her dinner. I'll surely miss these moments when she eats happily and contentedly, even if I wasn't very much talented with cooking. She always said nice things about every dish I made her. Plus fan service for BLINKs, she was being shipped to Jennie Unnie, she had to do fan service, even when I was still with Blackpink, fans have always shipped them together. Lisa is like a boy, she likes to jump around and put her arms around the members. No regard to what people will think and Lisa was always there for Jennie Unnie. Same way she has loved me, she also loved the other members.

She finished eating and she offered to wash the dishes herself. I didn't want to argue, there was still things I needed to prepare for the concert, I always did at least 10 or 20 beaded bracelets for my fans. It was something I did to keep me pre-occupied when ever Lisa had photo shoots or other projects. It was if you can call it a stress reliever. I feel happy doing this for my Roses, yes, my fandom is called Roses, while Lisa's were Lilies. We had to have our own fandom, even before I left Blackpink, during the time when we had solo promotions. The last to have her solo was Jisoo Unnie with her single, On your way and another song, I am Jisoo, I am Okay.

I was packing my stuff to take away from this shared appartment, she could still live here and I am going to live with Alice Unnie, my eldest sister. It was hard, after all, Lisa and I designed the interiors of this house, we spent days here painting the walls and making love right after. Every corner of the apartment we've made love, some just love and some make up . She always made up with . No matter how tired she was with her schedule. If I wanted just , I should be happy because Lili was a monster in bed. I put the last of my clothes in my bag, I am now starting to pack my things in a big box, jewelry boxes, pens, pencils, beads and everything I needed to move out finally. She happened to enter our shared room before I finished packing my stuff.

"Chérie, what are you doing? Why are your bags packed?" She asked me.

I chose not to answer her as I silently packed all my art supplies in the box. Before I could move again, she held me by the wrist and said.

"Rosé! Answer me. What are you doing?" She asked me again.

"I had enough, Lisa. I'm sorry, I can't do this any more. Not again." I replied to her and freed myself from her grip.

I turned back to my table and reached for my sketchpads, I had many of them. Before I could put it to my box, Lisa held me from the back.

"Chérie... Please. Let's talk about it. What happened? Did I do anything wrong to upset you?" She said, her voice barely audible and low.

I released a sigh, before I started to speak.

"Lisa, I can't always wait for you, I can't always be the girl who waits for you to come home. I have a life too, Lisa. I am an artist too just like you. But, I was here on time, I was here before you even arrived, I cooked for you and took care of you. All this time, Lisa, I was the one who cared for you, but have you ever made a conscious effort to give me my time? It's the only thing, I wanted from you. Now, you even had the audacity to be late for 2 hours and 30 minutes and told me about your excuses. I don't need another excuse from you, Lalisa. So, I am letting you go, I can't keep on trying to stay here, wait for you to come home, when we both know you're having a hard time, I need someone who could commit to me, not someone who is late every damn time it's our anniversary. I love you, Lisa, I really love you, but goodbye, I can't take it anymore. You're free now, go back to Jennie." I said to her and freed myself from her back hug.

I dumped the sketch pads in the box and held the box against my table and swept every other thing that's left on my table to the box. Once I was done, I faced Lisa who was stuck in place, seemingly slowding as what our Filo Blinks would say when their internet speed is slow and the video couldn't load. Like her system couldn't comprehend what I said. I waited for her to say something, but no words came out of . I cupped her face and as if out of habit, she held my hand while I cupped her face.

"I love you, Goodbye. Let's heal and make ourselves happy, reach for all your dreams, Take care of yourself okay? Don't forget to eat your meals and don't oversleep, promise me you'll be a better person, Lalisa." I said to her.

"Chérie..." Lisa said.

I could only shake my head no, I know that she's trying to stop me, but I am honestly fed up, waiting for her and being the one who commits everything to her.

"Rosé, please. Please don't leave me." Lisa managed to croak out.

"I have a concert tour going on, CEO Son allowed me a few hours to go and celebrate with you, but unfortunately, that couple of hours is done."

I replied to her and then squeezed past her, my duffle bag slinged half way across my body and the two boxes that contained my personal belongings, the couple ring she gave me, I left on her bed side table. I was nimble in my steps, if she gets a chance to stop me, I'll never be out of her life, I might as well chain myself in our shared room. If it was hard for me to see her fail, it was harder for me to move away, a part of me whispers to go back, to give her another 'second' chance and a part of me was just stubborn and knows what she wants. She made up her mind and nobody could stop her. I got into my Custom Baby Pink Porsche 718 Boxster T, I didn't wait for Lisa to stop me, I drove away quickly. I hope we meet again, someday, better than who we are.

4 years later...

Third Person POV

It was the last day of Rosé's final concert in Korea, as usual Rosé was hyping herself up, she has made it in the last 4 years. Ever since she broke up with Lisa, she never again heard anything about her old bandmates since that day she left Lisa in their shared apartment. She shut herself from any Blackpink News, even going as far as blocking her ex band mates' numbers on her phone. Rosé's life is going well, she loves her family, her pets Joohwangie The Fish and Hank the Dog, her sister Alice and their parents Claire and Mason Park. Her Executive Producer Wendy Son and the rest of her sunbaenims Red Velvet was very supportive of her over the years.

They either featured in one of the tracks or supported her with food trucks, her ex-bandmates also sent her these food trucks, she just never posted them, she never said thank you either. Jisoo, Lisa and Jennie are still doing world tours, world performances and has been focusing on the American market as opposed to Korean market. As they always did, they were also super models on top of being an artist. She accidentally saw an IG Post of Jennie Kim, her ex-bandmate, claiming Lisa as her 'lover' 3 months after they had broken up. Which is why she asks her manager to post her IG Photos instead of doing it herself. A knock on her dressing room was heard, she said come in, she said absentmindedly. It was her ex-bandmate Jennie, who entered the room with flowers in her hand.

Rosé didn't know whether she would be mad or happy, Jennie was after all her ex's Fan Service, one of the reasons she quit Blackpink, aside from lack of freedom, Fan Service to attract fans, act lovey-dovey with another member, there were four of them in the group. Since JenLisa was paired by their boss, ChaeSoo and Chaennie are her ships, fans ship them together too. But not as much as ChaeSoo, Chaennie and ChaeLisa or any of the other ships in the group. It was always JenLisa. As much as she hated the woman, being a sweetheart that Rosé is, she welcome the unexpected woman to visit her with a hug.

"Thank you for dropping by Jennie Unnie." She greeted the woman.

"I thought you were mad at me, we can't contact you, we sent you food trucks over the years but didn't hear back from you." Jennie replied.

"I'm okay, Unnie. I just wanted to cut off contact with people from the past and heal myself of the broken heart. I'm sorry for never reaching out. But, I truly appreciate you and Jisoo Unnie for sending me food trucks and flowers whenever I had a comeback." She replied.

"Oh god! Thank goodness you aren't mad at me. I just wanted to come and see you in your concert, we have the time right now, because we are currently on a hiatus with YG. You know, the same old thing." Jennie sighed.

"Thank you for dropping by, enjoy the show." Rosé replied to Jennie.

"Rosé. I also want to apologize on behalf of Lisa. That day you broke up with her, our flight had some technical difficulties and Lisa, you know Lisa. She'd absolutely do anything to get you flowers and balloons. I'm sorry she didn't make it on time." Jennie said.

"It's okay, Unnie. You don't need to apologize on her behalf. What's done is done, nothing and not anyone could change my decision about that. It's not because of anyone, it was my decision solely to break up with Lisa. I understand that Blackpink is busy, she's busy." Rosé replied.

"That flight shouldn't have caused her any delays." Jennie replied.

"It's okay, that was exactly my point too, Unnie. We were celebrating a decade of us during that time, She should've just came home and be with me, you know me Unnie, The most important thing for me is presence, you know that I don't like receiving flowers and balloons or any other gifts. She should've just came home and spent her time with me." Rosé replied.

"I know, dear. I just can't help but blame myself partially for what happened between you and Lisa. We should've never went to Paris knowing it was your anniversary." Jennie replied.

"Stop blaming yourself, Unnie." Rosé said with a smile.

"She's leaving YG, next month, we will be disbanding next month. I don't know with my love Jisoo if she wants to stay with YG or wants to leave YG too, all I know is that as for me, I'll transfer to a different company. You were right the first instance, we should've left with you when we had that chance. Thank you Rosé for your discography, you proved to YG that your voice and talents in song writing and arts proved worthy of your decision to leave YG earlier on. I'm proud of what you have achieved and can I say, your album cover art is dope! I'm a fan of your albums, I wish we had the creative freedom too and I want to enlist your help when the time comes, I hope you wouldn't mind if I ask you to make my album cover." Jennie said smiling.

"Sure thing, Unnie. I'll make your album cover." Rosé said smiling.

"Great! I'll be signing with HYBE and after a month, my solo debut will be released. I want you to make my album cover for that debut." Jennie said to Rosé.

Then, another knock was heard. A head peeks in and Rosé could only smile, because her Jisoo Unnie appeared, she had another bouquet and a jar of candies with her, she smiled at Rosé and Jennie before letting herself in. Jisoo is a kind and patient woman, Jisoo was always there for Jennie and as far as Rosé remembers, her Jisoo Unnie would always hug her on concerts whenever the JenLisa ship sails. Rosé was fond of the older girl, she sent back food trucks for her Jisoo Unnie whenever she hears that she'd star again in a movie or K-Drama. She hugs Rosé tightly and pulls away after a few moments.

"I got you these." Jisoo said.

"Thank you, Unnie." Rosé replied as she took the bouquet and jar of candies.

"It's been so long. I miss you, Rosé." Jisoo said.

"I miss you too Unnie. I've watched all your shows." Rosé said with a smile.

"Sincha? Thank you Chaeng." Jisoo smiled at the girl.

Jennie and Jisoo held each other's hand, Jennie was jittery and Jisoo looked at her lover's eyes, trying to see if they should go and tell Rosé already. After all the news was heavy. They weren't even sure if Rosé would come with them. Jisoo wished for the nth time that they visited Rosé after her concert. But Jennie insisted that they do it pre-show. Seeing that her lover had nothing to say, she broke the silence and spoke to Rosé.

"Break a leg! We'll see you after the show, we'll get dinner and drinks." Jisoo exclaimed to Rosé.

"Let's go, aegiya. Let's leave Rosé so she could get ready." Jisoo said as she dragged Jennie with her.

"Unnie. Spill it. I know you want to say something." Rosé caught on.

Jennie and Jisoo looked at each other, Jennie held Jisoo's hands tighter. Jisoo nods at Jennie and Jennie spoke.

"She's in the hospital now, Chaeng. She still hasn't woken up. It's been 6 weeks and the doctors are wanting to pull her life support, her mother wanted you to say goodbye, before she pulls the plug." Jennie replied at Rosé's question.

"Ok." Was the only word Rosé said.

She was stunned at the news, she honestly didn't know, she was obsessed in her own life and career. Taking care of Hank and Joohwang, Pampering her eldest sister and parents, having fun with her fans and her friends.

"Okay? What do you mean Chaeng? Okay you'll go or what?" Jennie asked.

"Ok, I have to focus on my concert, Okay I'll see what I can do. Okay what ever? I honestly don't know why Mrs. Brüschweiler would want me to be there, Lisa and I broke up 4 years ago, Unnie. I shouldn't be bothering with her or for her. If she dies, she can die, but I don't need to be there right? We are long over." Rosé said exasperated at her Unnie.

Jennie wanted to tell Rosé the truth. The truth of what happened and why Lisa met an accident, why her life was in peril and why she was on a coma. But Jennie realized the seriousness in Rosé's voice. Jennie could only nod at Rosé.

"Mianhe, Chaeyoung-ah. I know you are not in her life anymore. Mianhe..." Jennie replied to her dongsaeng and quickly got out of Rosé's dressing room.

Jennie pulled her lover Jisoo out of the dressing room. Their footsteps heavy as they thought about Rosé's answer, how could she be so hard to reach? More importantly, why did Lisa have to leave a message to them both, instructing them that if she ever had an accident and her life was in peril, she wanted to have Rosé visit her so that she could wake up from it. The two treated both of their team's maknae as family. They took care of Lisa and Rosé until this drunk driving accident that Lisa had that put her into danger.

"It's okay, aegiya. Lisa is a strong person she'll wake up sooner or later." Jisoo told her partner reassuringly, though she herself doesn't know if Lisa would still wake up.

It's been more than a month since the accident, it's been too long and although they were disbanding next month, both of them don't want their maknae permanently gone in the world. Lisa is a talented rapper and maknae of their group, she had a bright future ahead, Rosé meanwhile they didn't even know if Rosé was truly okay, they wondered what caused the other maknae to be closed off that she didn't even hear the news about Lisa.

***Back to the dressing room Rosé's POV***

I was shaken by the news of Lisa, as soon as the two Unnies went out, I prepared for the concert and as I was getting my make-up done, I reached for my phone and searched intentionally for Lisa Manoban, there it is, a korean news outlet reporting about the car accident that Lisa had, according to the news, a drunk driver T-Boned the van that Lisa was riding on the middle part of the van, causing Lisa's van to topple over and this caused her to be violently shaken and thrown out of the vehicle, the driver who T-Boned the van was charged with endangerment while driving under the influence almost causing someone's life. That drunk driver miraculously survived the accident.

Millions of fans were outraged by the driver, all sending death threats his way for causing their beloved Lili to be fighting for her life. The weekly news had Lisa's health update, up until this 6th week when a report came that according to the doctors, Lisa has not yet woken up after more than a month now, that Lisa was technically brain dead and should be pulled off life support. Her Mommy Chippith also made