Chapter 43

[Colorblind]

Heechul knew his eyes were not deceiving him, but thought that he would love to believe they did.

His eyes widened when they witnessed how Donghae pushed the trolley –the one with Jessica tied onto it –to the breaking ice lake. For a second, Heechul did not find enough rationality to move. If it had not been for Sooyoung’s scream, Heechul thought he would have been paralyzed by the incredulous thing and forever made everything too late.

“Heechul Oppa!” Sooyoung screamed.

Startled, Heechul then ran down the snowy hill. He tripped and rolled down on the white, snowy ground and hit a tree that happened to be on his falling way. There was a dull pain he felt when his upper arm received the impact. But he knew he could not stop there.

Forcing himself to gather all strength he could muster, Heechul immediately stood up and ran to the lake, with Sooyoung climbing down not too far behind.

Heechul ran and ran. He felt as if his lungs were burning; but the fear, the disbelief, and anger pumped the adrenaline all over his body. It was rather uncalled for having an injection of power at such situation, but it was certainly something he needed to make a miracle that night.

And the other man was still standing there motionlessly –gazing at the lake with face drenched in tears.

Oh, you do not even deserve shedding any tears, Lee Donghae.

The thought made Heechul collect all his force to his fist. It all happened in a seemingly slow motion: Heechul grabbed Donghae’s shoulders from behind and twirled the younger man’s body around. Donghae passively looked back at Heechul and in a nanosecond, a helpless sad smile crossed his face as he received one powerful punch that immediately rendered him unconscious.

Heechul looked down at the lying man with ragged breaths. Caught in another trance, he nearly forgot the priority.

“Heechul Oppa! Jessica! She –“ Sooyoung screamed and Heechul immediately knew what to do. He took off his coat and grabbed the flashlight from Sooyoung –all he did in a rush of split of seconds. Heechul’s eyes quickly scanned the water surface to identify the spot Jessica was falling into. He saw the center of the wild ripples and without wasting another moment, he jumped into the water.

The moment she felt the dreadful sound of the breaking ice, she knew it was over.

She could not save Donghae from himself; she could not save the other members of Der Märchenclub; she couldn’t even save herself.

The cold (freezing) water pierced her skin, the weight of the chair and the trolley pulled her down and down. She tried to break free, but at the back of her mind, she knew it was her doom. It was so cold that Jessica could not think of anything anymore. She tried to hold down her breath, but desperation beyond anything got the best of her. She saw nothing but pitch black, she felt nothing but the coldness of the freezing lake, she smelled nothing but the water…

She lived for nothing but to the cruel fate.

Water started to infiltrate her lungs and there was nothing that she could do to prevent it. It choked her at first, but soon she had no control over everything, not that she ever had one to begin with. She swallowed more and more water. She could not move, she could not breathe, and Jessica knew she could not live any longer.

The water was so cold that even Heechul wanted to forget the right thing to do and saved his life instead.

He gritted his teeth, trying to shake such selfish thought off.

But even without such selfish thought, the task he had to bear on his shoulder was heavy enough. Everything was dark around him. The light from the flashlight could only provide the most minimal lighting –as if all the light was absorbed by the vast darkness of the lake’s water. Frantically, he swam and scanned around.

He still did not see Jessica.

He cursed himself and swam to the other direction. It was hard to get the sense of one in the maddening darkness though. He did not know whether he jumped into the right spot, he did not ing know where Jessica could be. He could only rely on his instinct and pray that it would not be too late.

He did not want to lose a friend anymore.

But the determination was put on trial, as it was no easy task to locate one drowning girl. Frustration started to get the best of him, and truth be told, he was really itched to just swim up to the surface again.

Just leave that snobbish girl, Heechul. She doesn’t worth it, she doesn’t worth your precious life.

He tried to ignore the very tempting desire and swam deeper instead. The water pressure started to send waves of pain to his ears, and in panic, swimming had become a much more difficult thing to do.

Even if she’s alive, she always bothers you, right? Come on, just forget the girl. It’s not your fault if you leave her there. You’re not the one who pushed her. You’re not the one who tries to kill her. There is nothing you can do anyway.

Heechul nearly wanted to slap himself for producing such trail of thought. He shook his head again and swam deeper.

It’s too late, Heechul. She’s been drowning for quite some time. There is no way she could survive this. Give it up, give it up.

In a wave of reflex, he found himself swimming upwards. His head broke the surface of the water and he took a greedy inhale of air.

(the air that Jessica could no longer breathe)

! he mentally cursed at his own decision to swim up to the surface. Taking another deep breath of oxygen, Heechul then dunked his head into the water again. He swam faster, lower, deeper. He shook off the algae that tried to restrain him; he lit his way through the deadly darkness of the lake.

Don’t give up here! his conscience screamed at him.

He shone the dark water frantically. It was really hard to see anything, but his light caught the glimpse of a pale (dead) face near the bottom of the lake.

Jessica.

Ignoring the pain in his ears, ignoring the piercing coldness, ignoring the lack of oxygen, Heechul dove deeper.

He found her.

Jessica’s eyes were closed, pale, and her hair flowed to the swift movement of the water. He tried to shake her awake, but there was no use. The girl could no longer feel anything.

Clenching his fist, Heechul tried to lift Jessica up.

He found himself being pulled down.

The chair –the trolley. Damn, he had forgotten that Jessica was tied.

Cursing at his (or her) lack of luck, Heechul shone the light to her arms, trying to locate the ropes around her body. Once he was ascertained with the position, he opened his mouth and used his teeth to bite on the flashlight to allow his arms more free movement. The action made him gulp down an amount of water but he tried to hold the pain down.

Jessica was tied tightly that it was not an easy knot to be untied. Heechul tried to calm himself and maneuvered his head to the angle that would allow the flashlight between his teeth to shine at Jessica’s wrists. He finally took a clear image of the knot, quickly studied them, and tired to untie her as fast as he could.

He tried not to look at Jessica’s face when he was doing so. Her face was always pale, but then, she looked ghostly, she looked dead.

She is dead. Give it up, give it up.

            No!

His determination filled him again. Her hands were tied behind her, and she was secured quite tightly to the chair that it made him hard to even sneak his hand to undone the knot. Forcefully, she pushed Jessica’s body forward and the chair backward to give him more space. The strength made the chair broke, but it certainly made the task of freeing her off her ropes much easier.

After what seemingly to be eons, he finally managed to let the ropes off her arms. Rapidly, Heechul released the remaining of the ropes from around her body. Having finally done so, he quickly grabbed her waist and tried to pull the girl’s limp body up.

He was still pulled down.

In desperation, he realized that her legs were tied as well.

He could not hold his breath any longer.

Just come up to the surface, you fool! Save yourself!

Water also started to fill his lungs and thinking became a very difficult thing to do. Soon he knew he would have to leave it to his instinct –whatever it was.

He did not think anymore, he did not even realize that his hands were still around Jessica’s ankles, trying to undone the knot. He would die –he had been having a strong belief of that. But for some reason, he just couldn’t leave her be. He couldn’t leave the girl who might as well already be dead down there. With his instinct-driven skill, he finally managed to leave Jessica’s legs off the ropes.

Having been freed from the ropes, Jessica’s body swayed in the water.

She’s dead, she’s dead.

Heechul wasted no moment. He needed to inhale air right then. He encircled his arms around Jessica’s waist, secured it tight, and frantically swam upwards.

The water force was pulling him down again, though he knew it was only his imagination.  He swam as fast as he could, but the surface of the lake seemed to be too far away. He was tired; he nearly did not have enough strength to swim upwards, let alone to swim while carrying a girl’s body with him.

Heechul damn it! This once! Just give it all at this one instance!

It felt like a life’s miracle when his head ripped the stillness of the surface. The air had never felt so good –had never felt that precious. He was alive, he was still alive.

But Jessica…

The thought a