Where Is My Mind?

Riptide
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Couple of Months Ago
Red Moon Premiere Night, After After Party

Karina, typically the embodiment of poise and glamour suddenly found herself in a less-than-elegant predicament—hunched over the toilet, wrestling with an unruly wave of nausea while Jennie held her hair back. She's a coworker, one of the most awarded actresses in South Korea, and possibly the only person she'd allow in this undignified moment.

"You gotta control your liquor. What if I wasn't around?" Earlier, Karina dragged their executive producer into the VIP lounge and went on and on about some girl. Luckily, Jennie swiftly pulled her out of there.

"Thass why I love ya, unnie..." Karina slurred.

"Confess your love to me after you've had a shower. I don't like stinky girls."

They finally stumbled out of the bathroom and into the kitchen. Karina slumped, her right cheek pressed against the dining table's surface, muffling the words, "I kno' I shouldn't miss' er. There are reeasons why she's not in my life an'more, but why do I feel like thissh?" Each word dragged out as she struggled to articulate her thoughts.

Jennie has known about Karina's attraction to women for a while now, starting from when they worked together in this series. Jennie's character in "Red Moon" is a succubus who seduces men and women, including the infamous, three-hundred-year-old vampire Jimin. The shippers went absolutely nuts when this episode came out. It sparked a deluge of fanfiction and Twitter AUs. To relieve their boredom, Jennie and Karina even read some of those and had a good laugh.

Their closeness spawned a small fanbase known as "JenRina," a group of fans who eagerly stitched together every off-camera appearance, speculating on the possibility of a real-life romance. Yet, these speculations were nothing more than products of eager imaginations. In truth, Karina saw Jennie as an older sister, and Jennie in return was incredibly protective, treating Karina like one of her own younger siblings.

Jennie shared openly about accepting the role due to being attracted to women in real life. She even mentioned having an affair with a married woman, (one she truly regrets and won't ever be a part of again — the married bit — unless it's Anya Taylor-Joy, she might reconsider.)

Karina, in turn, revealed her own experiences, admitting to having crushes on members of the swim team during her school days (there was only one crush and we all know who that is) and just having a soft spot for women overall.

"How d'ya stop missin' sum... one? Li, how d'ya do dat?" Karina's words were barely coherent as she leaned heavily on the dining table, her vision blurred from one too many drinks.

Jennie arched an eyebrow, eyeing her with a mixture of amusement and concern. "Jesus, I've never seen you a mess like this. Who is this girl?!"

Karina let out a dramatic sigh, her head lolling to the side. "She the one... who smells like... sunshiiiine an' regrets..." she muttered, her words trailing off into a drunken mumble.

Jennie couldn't help but laugh at her ramblings.

Karina shot her a mock glare before breaking into a giggle. "Ey, don't laff at me! This ish serious'h stuff!"

"Alright, enough of this. Give me your phone," Jennie reached for Karina's pockets.

She blinked up at Jennie, "Wah... what're ya doin, unnie?" she mumbled, her hand wavering as she tried to grab her phone back.

With a swift motion, Jennie held the phone up to Karina's face to unlock it, "Obviously calling your mystery girl, whoever that is, so you can start telling her how much you miss her. Maybe you'll get her back, who knows? Now, what's her name?"

Karina shrugged, her body swaying with the motion. "I don' have 'er number. Les call mah cousin, les call Ning!"

She had momentarily forgotten about her cousin's anger over her breakup with Winter. Ning resented her for it, and they still weren't on speaking terms.

"What does she have to do with the love of your life?" Jennie asked, raising an eyebrow in confusion.

"Dey're besht friendsh."

Jennie dialed Ning's number, her fingers fumbling slightly as she attempted to navigate Karina's phone. After three tries, Ning finally answered, her voice dripping with hostility. "What do you want?"

Thankful that she hadn't put the call on speakerphone yet, she hesitated, "Oh, um, this is Jennie, Karina's friend—"

"If she's wasted and you need someone to call for a ride home, count me out," Ning continued as if Karina being a sloppy drunk was a common thing (it was).

"No—I mean yes—she's drunk... but it's nothing. We were just having fun, calling her friends—"

"We're not friends, didn't she tell you that? Know what? Delete my number."

Jennie glanced at Karina, who appeared to be on the verge of passing out. "I'm sorry for disturbing you. I hope you have a good night."

Ning ended the call.

Jennie couldn't help but feel embarrassed at what had just happened. She stared at Karina's phone, baffled by the unexpected aggression from one of her cousins. Although she hadn't heard of Ning before, her interest was piqued by the flurry of Instagram notifications still visible on the screen from a user named notningning.

That must be her, she thought. Why would Karina turn on notifications for someone who clearly hates her?

Despite her initial hesitation, she couldn't resist and tapped on it.

As the Instagram profile loaded, her eyes widened in surprise at the sight of Ning's photos. The first impression was that of someone incredibly cute, with eyes that sparkled and a sweet smile. It was hard to reconcile this image with the unfriendly voice she had just heard.

Scrolling through, Jennie noticed one in particular that caught her attention. It was a picture of Ning with someone she recognized so well—Winter Kim.

The caption read, "BFF (broke friends forever!)"

Surely, Ning must have another best friend. Karina couldn't possibly be in love with a Kim.

She continued scrolling, only to find that Winter appeared in almost all of Ning's photos. There was even one where she had written two heartfelt paragraphs congratulating Winter on winning a surf competition in Brazil.

"..." Jennie muttered, her eyebrows shooting up in disbelief as she glanced between the photo and the sleeping Karina. "No ing way."

For a moment, she stood frozen, her mind racing as she tried to process the unexpected connection.

Jennie's attention shifted abruptly as Karina began to stir, her movements sluggish and disoriented. "You okay? Do you need water?"

Karina's response was barely coherent as she struggled to open her eyes fully. "Winter... I miss Winter, unnie..."

Jennie shook her head lightly, and chuckled to herself, leaving Karina looking confused, pouting, "You're just full of surprises, aren't you?"

Enough wild stories were floating around about what went down that night so Jennie never brought it up the next day and Karina didn't bother asking. She out and was totally clueless about the specifics. Determined to keep her dignity intact, she's sworn off drinking at public events.

🌊🌊🌊

The Present

Karina entertained the thought of impressing Winter with a homemade meal but her culinary aspirations came crashing down when she attempted to crack an egg, only for it to miss the bowl entirely and splatter across the counter, with it rolling dramatically down to the floor. Taking in the messy scene, she decided that takeout was the safer option—for today, and perhaps indefinitely.

"Thanks," She grinned at the waiter at Lingo, securing the two paper bags filled with her breakfast haul.

She experienced the best night's sleep she'd had since moving in. The gap with Winter seemed to be healing, and surprisingly, the blackout from the previous day had taken a positive turn. They talked about a lot of things, and it felt like a significant step forward.

*Phone chimes*

RYUJIN:
my flight's delayed until tomorrow 😣

She noticed three more messages but hesitated to open them fully.

She recalls considering Ryu as a possibility, something that could maybe work out. That was at least the last coherent thought she had before arriving here.

Bumping into someone from the old college crew feels like a warm hug nowadays. Karina's a bit cautious about new connections—being in the spotlight makes trust a precious commodity.

They met at this fashion show, had a few drinks, and things got pretty playful from there. Next thing you know, they're all over the place, caught on camera and that's how their photos spread online.

They continued to hang out casually and went on a few dates but her mind drifted back to their last conversation. She requested a bit of a break, wanting to take things slow. Not that Ryu wasn't great—she was more than okay. She even ended up meeting Karina's mom by accident during one of their run-ins a few days ago. It was kind of funny how they kept crossing paths that week, making Karina joke, "Are you stalking me or what?"

Things seemed fine until Karina had an epiphany. It hadn't really occurred to her before, but Ryujin and Winter were good friends from their time on the swim team back in Kwangya. Ryujin was always the one craving the spotlight, while Winter focused solely on winning competitions before fading into the background.

During one of their hangouts at Ryujin's apartment, Karina's gaze wandered around the room until it landed on a collection of Polaroid photos spread across the mirror. Among them were snapshots of Ryujin and Winter, captured during laid-back beach trips, cozy dinners, and lively post-surf hangouts with other surfers.

Her heart jumped a little at the unexpected nostalgia.

For years, Winter had been absent from her life, save for the occasional Instagram updates from Ning.

Stumbling upon numerous updates and photos of her felt bittersweet.

She never expected to see Winter changing her hair color, but there she was a vibrant ginger in some photos. Her cute little face remained the same with those captivating eyes and infectious smile that she had always adored and found herself longing for.

Seeing Winter happy was like a burst of sunshine on a cloudy day. Karina didn't need to understand her lame- jokes back then especially since the smaller girl often erupted into laughter before even reaching the punchline. Her infectious laugh was enough to make Karina burst into giggles too.

She couldn't help but notice a subtle change in her physique — her body seemed more toned and leaner. It was evident that she had been focusing more on training lately.

And don't even get me started on those cute mochi cheeks. They were like little pillows of happiness, begging to be squished and kissed.

It's the little things, the subtle details that hold the most significance.

And then it hit her.

Perhaps she found herself drawn to Ryu for her sharp wit and intelligence, qualities that reminded her of Winter. The fact that they attended the same school only deepened the connection.

Maybe she found Ryujin's cute bob endearing because it brought back memories of how often she complimented Winter, expressing how she loved her with shorter hair.

It's possible that she liked how Ryu was smaller than her because it reminded her of how Winter perfectly fit into her arms.

It occurred to her that the other girl wasn't exactly ticking off all the boxes on her list. Instead, her attraction might have been fueled by a longing for that one unfulfilled love.

"I don't mean we stop talking, I just want to take things slow. Is that okay?" Karina talks to her the following day.

"Are you freaking out because of the whole 'I met your mom' thing? It was nothing. We just chatted for a bit and then she invited me for dinner, I can choose not to go if you prefer—"

"No, it's not. Well, you see," Ryujin already received an invitation to a family dinner—a sacred event for Karina—and approval from her family. Winter, however, could never be a part of those. The connection with the new girl seemed effortless, a comfortable fit, but she needed to untangle her emotions before fully committing, "I'm leaving South Korea in a few months to film this series, so we might not see each other for a while and I'm gonna be really busy—" She awkwardly laughs, "You might think I'm giving excuses, but I do—still want to get to know you."

"I was planning to put a lot of focus on the next tournament in Japan too, so I get it. I can wait, and we can take our time getting to know each other. No pressure until then?" Ryu downplays the subtle rejection.

"Sounds good to me," Karina replied.

Since their last chat, Karina has noticed Ryujin's texts and calls becoming less frequent. Without dwelling on it too much, she also dialed back on reaching out, thinking maybe things would just fizzle out. But then out of the blue, there was this absurd rumor about her and Jeno dating—they never dated nor she's in the least bit attracted to that man—or any man for that matter.

Suddenly, Ryujin's bombarding her phone with messages again (maybe it's Ryu's competitive side kicking in) but Karina has been pretty busy, especially since she arrived in Siargao.

She might have thought about giving them another chance, but then there's that unexpected kiss with Winter. And now? Well, it's like reopening a door that's been closed for too long. Even though Winter has been dodging any serious conversation after calling their kiss a mistake, Karina's just happy to have her back in her life, whatever that may bring.

As she walked back to their apartment, the calm ocean, the rising sun, and the refreshing breeze added to the pleasant atmosphere. Karina believed nothing could ruin her day.

Or so she thought.

Her joy was momentarily disrupted when she spotted a tall brunette checking out and knocking at their apartment. The person seemed effortlessly stylish, rocking a classic yet chic outfit. From the well-groomed, flowing hair to the sharp white button-down shirt neatly tucked into high-waisted black trousers, and finishing off the look with sleek black flats. Despite the straightforwardness, there was a definite elegance in the way she presented herself.

"Hello?" She called out.

The girl spun around, and her serious expression transformed into surprise. "Karina? Karina Yu?! Am I in the wrong house?! That can't be—" Her voice trailed off as she glanced around.

"Can I help you?" Karina continued.

"I'm such a huge fan of you and Jennie—" Then the glass door jiggling for a bit distracted them.

"Soh?" Winter grumbled as she appeared with crutches and a disgruntled expression, clearly displeased at being roused so early.

"Oh my god, what the happened to you?!" Sohee exclaimed, her eyes widening in horror as she focused on the injured leg wrapped in a cast.

"It's not a big deal, I was—"

"You're ing injured?!?! How did this happen—what about the competition?! What the have you been up to?!?! Are you okay?! Oh, babe..." Sohee might have run through a whirlwind of emotions in a mere five seconds. From surprise to seeing Winter in crutches, disbelief that she will be out of the competition (because let's face it, she would wrestle a shark if it meant participating in a major tournament), followed by curiosity, concern, and, well, just a tad bit of affection.

Enveloping Winter in a warm, protective hug, Sohee leaned down to the smaller girl with genuine concern. Winter sank into the embrace, not that she was feeling it, but her sluggish brain was still in a morning fog, "My baby, what happened to you?"

My baby.

Karina felt like those two words caused a ringing in her ears.

Is that a girlfriend? A lover? Ex, possibly? Or just some girl who calls everyone my baby?

Winter winces as a sudden jolt of pain zips through her ankle, and Soh ushers her inside. Karina walks in and spots the duo on the couch – the tall brunette stationed at Winter's feet, performing a sort of impromptu leg-poking ritual, looking utterly lost.

But Karina's no stranger to this scenario. She had once welcomed Winter into her apartment, tucked away at the back of the university grounds, during her initial days of recovery in the past.

Her preparation involved getting a crash course from the school nurse regarding sudden pangs of pain in an ankle injury. Initiating that she was 'asking for a friend.'

"It's the three-step protocol: elevate, pain meds and distract with an abundance of comfort food. Trust me, it works like a charm." Despite Karina's air of medical expertise, her actual go-to remedy for almost anything involves getting hydrated, suffering silently, and smiling always (the last two bits she got from Blessed Laura Vicuña during one of their religion classes. Yes, she was one of those nerdy catholic school girls who memorized saints and other prominent figures' famous sayings.)

Winter offers a weak smile, gesturing with her fingers for Karina to come closer. The taller girl obliges, leaning in, and Winter plants a soft kiss on her lips. "You're one y nurse, Ms. Yu."

With a dramatic flair, Karina swiftly steps back, a teasing smile on her face. "Keep those hands to yourself. You're in the presence of a professional!" she declares playfully.

She smiles a little at the memory.

Karina silently heads towards the cabinet where Winter's meds are stashed, grabs one breakfast bag, and then walks to the couch, seizing two throw pillows on her way. "Let me."

Sohee slowly backed away, her wide-eyed gaze broadcasting her confusion. This was getting weirder by the second, she thought. Karina and Winter living under the same roof??? Her mind buzzed with questions. How did this happen? What's the story behind it? And why has Winter never mentioned this before?

"I'm putting your feet up, okay?" Karina announces, gently lifting her feet. Winter nods in agreement as Karina expertly arranges them on the stacked pillows. "I got you breakfast, eat something and take your pain meds," The directive is delivered with a reassuring tone as if Karina has a PhD in ankle pain management. Grabbing the takeout food, she unwraps it and places it on the coffee table in front.

"Thanks, sorry for being rude," Winter begins, "This is Soh; she's, uh — we know each other from tournaments. And that's Karina. I'm sure you know her."

Sohee offers Karina a polite smile, but her face still carries traces of confusion. She was silently freaking out though, she has always wanted to meet the actress in person and this was just absolutely mind-blowing. Her questions about Karina and Winter's relationship were overshadowed by a few things:

1. Karina is so ing gorgeous in real life; she probably smells like flowers.
2. Is it okay to ask for a selfie and what would be the best time to ask for it?
3. She needs to have a signed autograph and remembers her 'Jimin the three-hundred-year-old vampire' poster in her summer house. She kind of resented Winter for not telling her about this. She could've brought it.

Then Karina's phone rang and excused herself.

"You have gym today. Or boxing, you decide. I'll pick you up in fifteen." Taemin was on the other line.

"Let's do boxing." Karina responded immediately while glancing at Sohee and Winter still talking, "What about filming?"

"Somi's arriving later, so they will brainstorm and finalize the details. Honestly tired of this Somi girl..." Taemin sighed, "We'll probably resume next week."

Returning to the living room, Karina notices Sohee leaning very closely toward Winter. She quickly averts her gaze.

Taking a deep breath, she realizes that this wasn't the morning she pictured after yesterday. As she notices the two engaged in a hushed conversation, she decides to step back, quietly excusing herself. After putting on gym clothes, she chooses to leave the room and decides to text Winter instead.

KARINA:
I'm off to the gym.
Do you need anything?
What do you want for lunch?
☑ Delivered 08:33 AM

🌊🌊🌊

Karina strolled into the gym her usual enthusiasm replaced by a sense of unease. Despite knowing her phone wasn't in silent mode, she kept checking it for Winter's reply. Each glance offered a fleeting reassurance, you know, just in case she missed the notification sound or the vibration.

The focus of the one person she wanted seemed to be elsewhere. It would have been simpler if Sohee gave her the cold shoulder like Aeri often did. But no, she was friendly and even confessed to being her huge fan. It was frustrating.

Her gaze was immediately drawn to the boxing ring. Snug yoga pants hugged her legs, classic white sneakers cushioned her every step and her hair was pulled back tightly into a sleek ponytail.

Her white muscle tee's fabric was clinging gently to her skin and displayed her slim arms. She couldn't help but admire her reflection in the mirror, acknowledging that while her biceps might not be the most well-sculpted, she was grateful for her amazing genes.

The instructor, eyeing her with a raised eyebrow couldn't help but underestimate her at first. A fleeting smirk played on his lips as he assumed that this "little girly girl" might struggle in the testosterone-filled atmosphere of the boxing ring.

Glancing at her phone once more... still no response from Winter.

She shook off her disappointment and made her way to the ring to kick off the session.

With the first few punches, she unleashed a startling intensity. Her movements were fluid yet forceful, each jab and hook carrying a raw power that caught the instructor off guard.

She learned boxing during her time filming as

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winrinae
things happened!! i know but ive just been really really busy. comments and feedback are appreciated and motivate me to write more! hope everyone's well <3

Comments

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Winrina1st #1
Chapter 9: CAN WE PLEASE COME TOGETHER N MASS REPORT @.karinayudefender???
No_looksies #2
Chapter 10: I love this story so much you have no idea.. I am so glad that Rina and winter are getting closer... Please be more honest with your feelings guys
plutoooooo #3
so goooooood! I love this fic too much🥺🥺🥺🥺
cleofierayne #4
Chapter 10: Myghadddd really those people so fast connecting things up with just photos. Hahaha 😂

I wonder how will Karina's mom do after knowing this. And now Ryu getting sus with what's going on with the two.

Pleasee I just want them to lay their honest feelings now after Karina blow Winter's phone with her drunken confession 🥺😭😆 I'm sure they're gonna talk after leaving that party.
jushshhh #5
Chapter 10: karinayugf fighting for her life 😭
jushshhh #6
Chapter 9: i'm feeling bad for ryu, i hope she's not an 😮‍💨
jushshhh #7
Chapter 9: jenrina kinda 😜
jushshhh #8
Chapter 7: the fans 😭😭😭😭😭 lol
1011_croc_01
#9
Chapter 9: this fic makes me want to rip my hair out… but like in a good way…