Winter yearned for many things.

She longed for the days when she could move freely without the burden of crutches for even the simplest tasks.

She also desperately wished for the sporadic bursts of pain in her leg to finally stop but without Karina around, there's no one nagging her to stick to her medication schedule.

She was stubborn, lazy, and generally averse to taking pills. The whole dependency issue was just dreadful. And don't even get her started on the withdrawals from missing doses.

She stood by the shoreline as the waves inched closer, their foamy edges nearly brushing against her before gently receding back into the sea leaving behind a ripple of water that reached only inches away from her feet.

Typically at this hour, she'd be out on her morning run.

The cool breeze tousled her hair as she relied on her crutches for support; eyes captivated by the rhythmic motion of the waves. The soft fabric of her oversized sweater enveloped her frame like a comforting hug, sleeves extending past her hands. She stood seemingly motionless, staring blankly into the sea.

It was a quiet morning.

Ning and Aeri were still in Japan, Sohee still out cold, probably nursing a Krush beer-induced hangover from the night before. She downed a few cans as soon as they arrived home last night. The evening was spent with Soh doing most of the talking, still caught up with the whole Jaemin incident and gushing over Karina, going on about her vampire show. Winter had to endure all of that while quietly nursing her mild leg pains.

"You’re gonna scare her off acting like an obsessed fan. Take it down a notch." It was probably her discomfort doing the talking last night but Soh was too out of it to even take offense. She crashed at the apartment. They stayed up until five.

The actress ended up at the hotel. Winter doubts she’s going back after the events of last night.

For the past few days, Karina was everywhere. From fetching breakfast, getting coffee, and pestering her about taking her medication. Not having her around when Winter woke up was hitting her in a whole new way.

With a sigh, she walked back inside their apartment and stumbled into the kitchen like a zombie, body on autopilot.

The usual routine of finding breakfast and coffee waiting on the kitchen counter was absent this morning. There was no note with that familiar handwriting reminding her to take her meds on time either.

A small pang of heartbreak coiled in her gut, making her even more reluctant to take her medication. She went back to bed with a dramatic sigh punctuating her frustration.

She was convinced that even just one heavenly slice of a piping hot, extra cheesy pizza topped with juicy pineapples would miraculously solve all her problems today (it won’t) but the mere thought of peeling herself out of bed, abandoning the blissful comfort of the cozy apartment, and enduring a short drive quickly killed her enthusiasm.

Her mind drifted back to Karina as she lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling. No matter how hard she tried to focus on something else, whether it was the faint hum of the ceiling fan above or the sounds of the waves crashing outside the window, her thoughts always seemed to gravitate back towards her.

Karina was just a short car ride away, likely holed up in her hotel room. Winter couldn't shake the thought of Jisoo and Mrs. Yu giving her an earful. She wasn't certain if the whole incident made its way online, but she genuinely hoped Karina was holding up alright.

Whenever drama unfolded back then, Karina vanished without a trace for days. No texts, no calls, and conspicuously absent from school.

Winter would worry a lot, glancing at her vacant seat during classes.

Then she shows up at Winter's dorm room a few days after, looking like she’d been through the ringer, eyes tired and puffy from all the crying. Despite not being involved in acting gigs during college, being the daughter of a famous actress didn't spare her from gossip.

"Mom said I needed to disappear for a while until the stories died down."

So Winter worries now, immediately remembering to look for her phone.

It was probably in the pocket of her sweater, buried somewhere in her mountain of dirty clothes, no doubt, and she did want to tackle that this morning but her nagging leg pain foiled any motivation she had, well, for anything at all honestly.

She blinked a few more times, eyelids heavy like bricks, "Phone..." She whispered, as if expecting it to sprout legs and crawl to her.

Her body refused to budge from bed as she drifted back into sleep.

🌊🌊🌊

An hour and a couple of minutes passed, she was stirred awake by voices outside.

"Winter’s not feeling well. Still asleep." Soh's voice drifted through the door.

Who was she talking to?

The thought of possibly seeing the person that has been occupying her mind all day gave her the push she needed to roll out of bed.

With a tired sigh, she reached for one of her crutches, adjusting to the new rhythm of moving with just one support as her leg continued to heal. She hoped to be able to ditch it completely in the next few days.

Taking a shower now demanded a whole new level of time and strategy involving clingy plastic wraps. It was something she never imagined back when she took her two functioning feet for granted but she managed to finish up and finally emerge from her room.

"Damn. You alright?" Ryujin approached her with a hug. "Whiskey. Your favorite." She pointed at a small package sitting on the dining table.

"Thanks Ryu. When did you get here?" Winter appreciated the gesture. She truly did. She mustered a weak smile but secretly wished for anyone but her to have shown up.

Although maybe now that there were able-bodied human beings up and about, she could ask them to fetch her that cheesy Hawaiian pizza she'd been dreaming of since this morning.

"’Bout an hour ago. Caught up with Karina for a bit, but she had to leave for meetings and stuff. So, yeah."

Well… no one asked for this information, but here she was, graced with this delightful news!

The need to find her phone became more pressing as she cast a few glances toward the washing area near the bathroom.

While it was reassuring to know that the actress was occupied with work, Winter couldn’t shake the feeling in her gut that Karina was being too hard on herself about last night.

"Dude… I was hesitant to bring this up earlier cause she didn’t look too well but what the happened last night? Somi filled me in but you know how she can be. I don’t trust her." Ryujin started, prompting knowing glances between Sohee and Winter.

"Long time coming if I’m being honest." Sohee bluntly replied. "I’ve always dreamed of decking Jaemin in the eye. Remember that one time in Jeju?"

Ryujin and Winter simultaneously nodded off, memories of some random ugly incident flooding back.

As their chat drifted from Jaemin's nasty behavior to his equally obnoxious friends, sponsorships, Seulgi's impressive biceps that somehow Sohee noticed last night and a plethora of other random stuff, Winter saw her chance to suggest lunch at her favorite pizza spot which was conveniently located beside Karina's hotel.

Reflecting on it later, she couldn't help but think that her sudden craving might have been subconsciously a clever, albeit subtle, excuse to see Karina.

"So whose apartment is this? Yours?" Ryujin began snooping around, opening the fridge, flicking on the TV, and running her fingers over anything she could find.

It was a relief that Karina wasn't around today; it saved Winter from having to explain their complicated living situation but there was a twisted part of her, just a teeny bit, that found the idea of shocking her with the news of them living together amusing.

It was almost tempting to drop a casual hint about their closeness, something she thinks Ryujin could only dream of matching but she quickly reined in those petty thoughts. They were tournament buddies (can get a bit competitive sometimes—okay maybe most of the time) but they were at the core, good friends.

Ryu's phone ringing jolted her back to reality, reminding she needed to find her own. A quick glance at their cursed laundry pile followed.

Her friend stepped out to answer the call, Sohee borrowed a shirt and took a shower.

She immediately rummaged through the towering stack of clothes near the washing machine, her frustration mounting as she failed to locate her sweater. But then a flicker of memory surfaced, and she recalled chucking it inside the machine itself.

Feeling both annoyed and relieved, she popped open the washer and found her sweater inside.

She remembered slipping it on during the blackout, then carelessly tossing it in with the rest of the laundry.

A wide grin lit up her face as she fished her phone out of the pocket. She couldn't wait to catch up on the Japan updates from Ning and Aeri. Imagining their adventures put an even bigger smile on her face. She hoped they were having a blast on their much-deserved alone time together.

They always made sure she was a part of their travel plans, but Winter understood they needed some alone time together. So maybe it wasn't so bad that she almost died and got left behind if it meant Ning and Aeri could have their moment. Small victories. Anything for those two.

When she finally managed to turn her phone on after briefly plugging it in, pictures upon pictures flooded in, showing off their adventures. But mixed in with the fun stuff were these frantic messages:

NING:
WTF IS GOING ON
Heyyyyyyyyyyyy
heard some crazy stuff from the gym staff last night
is karina okay????
yoooooooooooooooooooooo
😤
U OK?????
im srsly abt to text seulgi
dont make me
she scares me, man 🥺
did you die or something?!
sorry too soon 😞
hope you’re feeling better 💛
be home in like three days!!! 😼
Nvm
called karina and shes fine
ud be surprised why she punched that guy 💀
TALK TO ME AND I MIGHT TELL U
trust me u wanna hear this
nothing? rly? Ok
damn i really hope u didnt die or sth

Winter huffed a laugh while scrolling through her buzzing phone that was met with another flood of messages. Some from Seulgi, sponsorship updates from like a day ago, Somi somehow used another number to add her to that group chat after Winter blocked her and something miraculously uplifting.

A deluge of texts from Karina.

She nearly dropped her phone in excitement as she tapped on the messages and watched the words appear on the screen.

At first glance it looked like a jumble of drunken ramblings but amidst the gibberish, she saw it, written in stark contrast to the rest of the text.

Something about wanting to have a conversation.

Something about a love confession.

And something about that confession being about her.

Wait.

She scrolled back up.

Despite the tangled mess of words, the message remained unchanged.

She swallowed thickly, breath caught in .

They had a ton of these moments back then (Karina being a messy drunk) but she has never thrown around the L word before. Nevertheless, Winter's cheeks felt warm all the same.

A surge of emotions flooded her as she scrolled through the silly drunken texts again.

It’s been ages since they last spent a significant amount of time together but she never truly managed to let go of whatever they had. She’s been tring to shake off that old spark every time their eyes met but no matter how hard she tried, Karina's absence left a void that no one else could fill during all those years they were apart.

WINTER:
sorry i just found my phone
where are you?
let’s talk

Her reply was immediately seen, sending her heart racing as if it might leap right out of her chest.

All Winter could think of was to go find her but there was something else. She doesn’t quite know what it is, nor she believes there exists a single word anymore than a single moment to contain the emotion that she was feeling.

It felt like the way she used to rummage through her pockets for her phone as soon as she left swim class, hoping for a message from the one person who had been on her mind all day.

It felt like softness, warmth in her chest, random giggles, kisses, warm hugs and long talks about nothing.

If just one word could describe how much she longed for Karina, she thought people wouldn't need to write songs or poems about it.

Her mom always said love was admiring and caring for another so much you would do anything for them.

For Aeri, love is craziness and sanity in a blender.

Maybe it's something like that, but love was too strong a word. She has never confessed to anyone before.

With a pondering look, she shot another text.

WINTER:
are u coming home?

"Wanna go to that pizza place?" Sohee’s voice startled her as she emerged from the bathroom, fluffing her hair dry.<