"It’s because I don’t like ballet.”

H-Huh? My heart, got shattered out of nowhere. What does she mean, she doesn’t like ballet? Then why she’s here, struggling to learn?

“Discipline. Graceful, flowing movements. Classical form, balance, and symmetry. Ethereal quality and more. I don’t have anything from that.” She sits down facing me, but she then turned her head on the right after. Took me few seconds before I noticed that she’s looking at herself from the mirror, so I did the same as her. I looked at her from it. Observing carefully. Though her hating ballet makes me somehwat broken, I'm still waiting, willing to listen at whatever she wants to say. I hope she got a good reason for it.

“This dance is so complicated, right? And I’m just a newbie without any knowledge. I’m not flexible enough or more likely my body wasn’t fit for this kind of dance. Every time I’m here I feel like I’m always at the edge. I needed to surpass my limit just so I can keep up in every lesson. This is extremely hard for me. Reason why I always hated ballet.” She smiled, even after telling that to a professional ballerina like me. I was about to felt offended but, it wasn’t happy or anything. Her smile. It was lonely. Wistful. And regretful. Yeah, it was so sad, that my heart is beating sadly reacting to it. How could I be mad seeing this right now? And why is she, actually smiling like that to herself?

“But that helps me. A lot.” She added, that made me so confused even more. I looked at her directly this time, trying hard to get her point better.

“Struggling with something I’m not good at makes me focus. I don’t need to think of anything. I don’t need to feel anything. I just need to dance hard as much as I can. And by that I can forget, everything, at least for a moment.”