Ballet. And myself. They were the only two things I care in this world.

My family is not even in my list. Why? Because they simply don’t care about me too so we’re even. That wasn’t that bad actually. I can do anything, even without their support. Which means I can do anything, not needing their approval.

So, I don’t care. I really don’t.

But lately, something seems to keep bothering me. And it’s so suffocating. Every time.

These two people, who’s always on my sight wherever I go, seems to have a very unique relationship.

Two girls….

                      …dating, huh?

I thought at first, that’s what has been bothering me all this time. But it’s not. Because just like I said, I don’t really care about anything. Girls dating girls, I don’t care at all. But the fact that these two weren’t dating? I realized maybe it’s what’s been disturbing me.

I can’t see the reason why not at all. Maybe because of their different personalities? I think not at all. Though one appears as a nonchalant who looks uninterested in anything, and the other one looks extra clingy and pretty enthusiastic girlfriend, they were still sticks together who won’t leave each other’s side. It's so frustrating seeing them being together 24/7. Why can’t they just date already actually?

“What were you thinking, Mina?” I immediately shook my head, turning my attention to my friend, Sana— who successfully made me waken from my thoughts. “Shall we go then?” She said, and I nodded back, already fixing my stuffs so we could go on our next class on the next building.

“Oh? Look who’s here?” I instantly got frozen, feels like breath got take away as I saw whose Sana’s talking about.

It’s her, the nonchalant one.

“Momo annyeong…” Sana greeted her, approaching her closer leaving me a little behind. “Is this your next class? This is the first time I saw you here though?” They talked to each other, seem to be getting absorbed conversing that they have forgotten about me not until Momo finally noticed me. She smiled at me, while also sharing a little nod to acknowledge my presence. Sana looked back at me, like she was waiting for me to make a move but, I couldn’t even say nor do anything until Momo excuses herself from Sana.

“Turns out she’s just getting Nayeon Unnie’s bag.” Sana stated walking back to me.

Nayeon Unnie, huh? Of course, who else would be her reason?

“By the way, it looks like you two has gotten a little closer this time. She recognized you, and even smiled at you. Is she doing great at your ballet class? She’s still not quitting until now so I think, yes?” She wonders, as we were now making our way on the next building. Unlike me Sana cares on everything. And she’s friends with almost everyone.

“She’s surprisingly keeping up.” I answered her.

Right. It started when she was introduce as our new member on our ballet class three months ago, me, getting bothered by those two. I know her. Obviously because of Sana who’s close to her. Unlike me Momo wasn’t aware of me before, but lately, Momo’s been recognizing me, just like how she acknowledges me earlier. It felt weird though. I still don’t know why.

“Ballet was hard, right? Momo has never dance ballet before. I do heard she’s having a hard time but I think she really want to learn ballet. Maybe you should help her, Mina. Maybe you two could be close friends through ballet.”

I stopped…

Friends, huh? The thought makes me laugh. Sana knew Momo because they were classmates since highschool. They weren’t as close before but I think they were still considered as friends until now. But me?

Sana stops too, staring at me from behind.

“Why? I really think you need new friends, Mina. Why do until now I feel like I’m your only friend? Maybe Momo’s your chance now. She’s not that showy but she’s really kind and welcoming. She’s just like you actually. I think you two will get along so well. What do you think?”

Friends? How do exactly people meet the qualification of being friends? Sana thinks having the same personalities makes us qualified as friends. But how about those two? I don’t really know. So, I never considered having new friends. Sana is maybe enough for me.

“I’ll try then.” I simply answered back, taking my steps again with her. I just said that, just so she would stop pestering me with this topic.

“Are they really not dating?” I heard as soon we arrived and seated for our next class. There’s these three on our front right now, gossiping about something. I turned at Sana. She’s now busy retouching her make-up. I looked ahead, sighing.

Today, seems a little longer than before. When will it end? I wanna go home.

“Isn’t her face were too close to her? She’s hugging her way too different too. Are friends supposed to be that close these days?” I should be just minding my own business, but I couldn’t help it. I secretly peeked on the phone where they were all looking. My eyes quickly recognized them. I already saw, those photos before.

“They’re really not. I hope they will though. They looked so good together.” Somehow, I could understand their reaction. That’s what I thought when I saw those photos before too.

“What if they’re just trying to hide it. You know, want to have private relationship because they’re both girls.” Why do I feel like I’m hearing my own thoughts right now?

“Nah... I have my intel. They’re really not in a relationship but, it’s a one-sided love.” That caught my ears even more. One-side, huh? I silently leaned closer wanting to hear better, while I’m acting like I’m scrolling through my phone so they won't notice me. I couldn’t help it. I'm curious.

“One sided? So, you mean…” I feel like I’m having a hard time breathing right now. Never known that secretly listening would be this nerve-wracking. “Nayeon Unnie likes Momo but Momo doesn’t feel the same? That makes sense then. Since Nayeon Unnie is usually the one who keeps following Momo around. And Momo doesn’t react that much to her too. I thought Momo is just acting like a tsundere though.”

Tsundere? I chuckle. That’s a better description for her, I think?

“You got it wrong though.” My face twitches. Suddenly got so confused.

“It’s the other way around. It’s Momo.” Momo? Which she means… “Momo likes Nayeon Unnie.”

Eh? My heart is…

“Really!!??”

It’s acting up again. Suffocating. I can’t breathe.

“Hm! I heard somewhere that Momo even confessed to her but got rejected. But after that day, Nayeon Unnie suddenly became extra clingy as she is right now. She’s always following her around. I even thought, maybe she’s bullying Momo. But since Momo was just letting her, I thought maybe she’s not too. I don’t know too actually.”

This doesn’t makes sense at all.

“Interested?” I was shocked, and immediately turns my face on Sana who I forgot was just on my side. “You’ve been listening to them, right?” I couldn’t even deny it. I was already caught after all.

“This is maybe the first time I saw you listening to a gossip, Mina.” I looked away from her. And I’m ready. To be tease by now. “You know you can just ask me directly, right?” That made me looked back, baffled at first but...

She’s right. Why did I not think about this. She definitely, knows everything. I just needed to ask.

“Is that…” I stopped myself before I could even continue. Why am I hesitating? It's like I'm afraid of something. Afraid of her confirming it. Should I? Or Should I not? I took a deep breath. I know shouldn’t care but…

“Is that real? Does Momo, really likes Nayeon sunbae? And that Nayeon sunbaenim, turned her down?”

Just as simple as that I got my answer. And It got even more complicated. I couldn’t understand those two at all. Turns out Momo really likes Nayeon Unnie. But Nayeon doesn’t like her back. But why does it looks like Nayeon Unnie was the one who has her feelings and not the other way around?

“Guess I’m gonna stay here for another hour.” I told myself, stretching my foot on the barre to condition my body back.

I told myself earlier I wanna go home but here I am, staying behind to dance a little more. I forgot, ballet has always been my home. I chuckled, cringing so hard at myself.

I was about to change my foot from the barre, when someone opens the door and disturbs my wandering thoughts.

"Oh?" I ended up gasping, didn’t realized I had my mouth open so I quickly closed it after and swallowed.

This is a surprise. It’s her again. I stand properly, frozen on my spot, same as her who was stuck on the door. She’s absent earlier, so I thought she might not feeling well. But now that she’s here means she’s not.
 

"Ha-" She couldn't even say that and just awkwardly