dawn arrives like a slow amble, the sun crawls high up in the sky and it’s morning before seungwan even stirs. a good sleep saves her from a fatigued body and she stretches her limbs, wriggling her fingers and toes as she sighs in contentment. it’s interrupted when her hand collides with something solid on the bed but she assumes it’s her phone. eyes opening lazily, panic sets in when she takes in her unfamiliar surroundings.

 

she springs forth and sits up with a gasp, turning her head from left to right, trying to make sense of where the hell she is. the room is bare, filled with nothing but the essentials for a bedroom. a wardrobe, bed and a small bedside table. her dress from the night before is hung up neatly and her accessories are scattered on the bedside table with a glass of water. 

 

running a hand through her hair, seungwan notices that she’s wearing an unfamiliar oversized shirt. perplexed, she searches her memory for any indication of where she might be. she remembers leaving the party with her bodyguard and then nothing else. wincing slightly, she turns to look for her phone but she finds something more. 

 

what she initially thought she hit earlier was not her phone but instead a pistol. 

 

“what the ?” she can’t help the words from slipping out as she shakily reaches over. doubting its genuineness, she lifts it only to feel a hefty weight in her hands — it’s a real gun. 

 

there’s only one person she’s seen with a gun lately.

 

seungwan leaves the gun where it is and hops out of bed, strolling across the cold floors to the door. poking her head out, she tries to get a glimpse of the house. it’s a small apartment, the door to the bedroom leads directly to the living room and she instantly spots the sleeping figure on the couch. 

 

irene is stretched out across the couch with her arms folded across her chest. she looks at peace, unlike her usual tense expression. a jacket lay on the ground beside her, it was likely being used as a blanket but fell off sometime in the night. seungwan grimaces as the guilt begins to seep in, this is probably irene’s house and her bodyguard has allowed her to sleep in her bed.

 

tiptoeing to her, wendy picks her jacket up from the ground and attempts to place it over the taller girl but stops when she notices something. on the outer section of irene’s forearm lies a gruesome scar that seems to extend from her elbow to her wrist. upon closer inspection, it looks like an old injury.

 

the baes are dangerous, her father has warned her of that, but seeing an injury like this makes her wonder what irene has been through. 

 

gently, seungwan places the jacket over her bodyguard, but it’s enough to wake her. jolting up, irene grabs her roughly by the wrist.

 

“it’s me!” seungwan declares loudly as the jacket falls to the ground once again.

 

relaxing her hold, irene mutters an apology, “sorry, i thought you were an intruder.”

 

“i might as well be one,” seungwan laughs to ease the tension, “why am i here?”

 

irene pins her with a hard stare, “i tried taking you home but you refused to give me your passcode.”

 

“oh…” the idol bites her lip and takes a seat on the far edge of the couch, “technically, you could’ve guessed it since it’s your birthday.”

 

scrunching her face in disgust, irene mutters in disbelief, “you’re still hung up on him?”

 

“no!” seungwan protests, “it’s a hassle to get it changed so i left it.”

 

irene hums softly, though she doesn’t believe it. “what time is it?” she asks, wiping the sleep from her eyes.

 

“no idea, i just woke up and speaking of which, why do you have a gun in your bed?” seungwan’s voice grows louder with every word as she demands an answer from her bodyguard.

 

“safety.” irene responds curtly while she checks the time on her phone. it’s ten in the morning, meaning they’re late for the idol’s vocal practice. she lifts her phone towards seungwan to show her the time and the idol throws her head back with a groan.

 

“i can’t show up like this…”

 

getting up from the couch, irene offers, “you can borrow my clothes as long as you return them afterwards.”

 

seungwan snaps back with a frown, “you think i’m going to steal your clothes?” 

 

“you might turn it into a fashion trend or something and i like my clothes where i can wear them.” irene shrugs, “there’s extra toothbrushes underneath the sink, go get ready.”

 

---

 

seungwan has no trouble making herself at home, she explores the entirety of irene’s quaint apartment with a toothbrush in hand. there’s only one bedroom and an ensuite bathroom while the living room is connected to the kitchen. each room is bare with nothing but essentials, there are no decorations or pictures lying around, let alone any personal belongings. heck, she doesn’t even own a television. 

 

what kind of life does she even live?

 

irene notes her snooping but doesn’t make a fuss, she has nothing to hide anyway — except her gun, she probably should’ve kept that in a drawer but it slipped her mind.

 

irene is in the midst of preparing coffee when seungwan pokes her head out of her room, “is your entire wardrobe free game?”

 

the bodyguard narrows her gaze, wondering what the idol has in mind but ultimately it’s just clothes, she doesn’t care too much for them so she nods.

 

seungwan jumps right into action, sifting through the assortment of clothes with potential combinations running through her mind. the colors within irene’s wardrobe are limited, alongside the number of clothes she has. she can work with neutral and muted colours, but sizes are another matter. her bodyguard is at least a head taller than her so seungwan is stuck with wearing the shortest and smallest pair of jeans she could find. most of irene’s shirts are also oversized, meaning seungwan would look like the fabric is swallowing her up, so she settles for a sweater instead.

 

she won’t be setting any trends today, that’s for sure.

 

shuffling back into the living room, she presents her outfit to irene with a small sigh, “everything doesn’t fit, why don’t you have any normal-sized clothes?”

 

“have you considered that it’s normal for me to have clothes in sizes that fit me?” 

 

“you’re buying them a size too big! some of those shirts are way too oversized!”

 

irene sets her cup of coffee down on the kitchen counter and stares at the idol, slowly taking in her outfit. “you look good.” is all she says and it’s enough to silence the idol.

 

“coffee?” she raises a cup and seungwan nods.

 

the idol takes a seat at the counter as irene slides a cup of coffee towards her. seungwan’s eyes fall onto the scar on her arm once again and irene follows her gaze.

 

she pulls her arm back, conscious of its presence but she meets eyes with seungwan.

 

“i didn’t mean to—”

 

“it’s fine, it’s an old wound.” irene swallows. the tension in the air is heavy, threatening to suffocate the two. 

 

seungwan tries to find the right words but what can she even say? 

 

irene clenches her fist with a shaky exhale, feeling too vulnerable without anything to shield her scar from seungwan. she can’t remember the last time someone has seen the scar, it’s been so long that she’s been able to cast its entire existence aside. but it rears its ugly head when she least expects it, a cruel reminder of her past.

 

she mumbles something under her breath that seungwan doesn’t catch and escapes into the safety of her bedroom. 

 

the idol watches helplessly, whatever memories are tied to that wound clearly still hurt irene. she has half the mind to ask kihyun about it but she fears them arguing again. digging into her personal matters without consent would be crossing the line.

 

---

 

irene exits the bedroom in a fresh set of clothes, ensuring that her arms are hidden from view. all the tension slips from her when she notices seungwan poking her head in her fridge.

 

“what are you doing?”

 

seungwan jumps in surprise, “, you scared me!” she blurts, “i was looking for something to eat but your fridge is empty, even your milk is expired.” she pulls out a half-filled milk carton that expired almost two weeks ago to prove her point.

 

“i don’t eat at home much.” irene raises her shoulders, “there’s a convenience store around the corner if you really want something.”

 

seungwan tosses the milk into the trash can and sighs, “is it because of my schedule? be honest.”

 

irene seems to hesitate her answer, “cooking is a hassle.”

 

the idol tuts loudly as she shakes her head, “i can’t let you live like this, grab your keys, we’re going grocery shopping.”

 

“what about your vocal practice?”

 

“i’m rescheduling it,” seungwan says firmly, “as soon as i can find my phone…”

 

---

 

pushing a rattling shopping cart behind one of the nation’s biggest stars isn’t what irene expects herself to be doing, but there they are in a supermarket near her home. in order to mask her identity, seungwan borrows one of irene’s caps which happens to be an exact copy of her usual cap but in a different colour.

 

in the years seungwan has been in the industry, she’s proven herself to be diligent, she would never miss practice on purpose. instead of receiving an earful from her vocal coach, she gets off the hook for missing practice relatively easily and reschedules it for the afternoon.

 

picking ingredients aisle after aisle, the idol fills the cart up with ingredients that are both healthy and easy to prepare. as she tries to slip a pack of chicken into the cart, irene stops her.

 

“no chicken,” she insists, “and you’re buying too much, i won’t be able to finish everything.”

 

seungwan swivels around with her brows stitched together, “no chicken?”

 

“i don’t like it.”

 

“all types of chicken? even fried?” seungwan presses and irene nods. everyone has their food preferences, she supposes as she returns the pack of chicken.

 

turning back to her bodyguard, she assesses the amount of food in the cart, squinting her eyes as she tries to gauge if it’s enough food. the cart isn’t overflowing with groceries but it’s definitely filled, it should be enough to keep her fridge stocked for the month.

 

“i’m going to put some things back,” irene declares after a few moments and the idol looks offended.

 

“don’t do that! i need to eat too!”

 

her bodyguard quirks a brow, “i thought we were shopping for my fridge.”

 

“yeah but based on what you said, you don’t cook, so i’m going to cook for you.” seungwan retorts as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world and irene sighs.

 

“i said that so you wouldn’t feel guilty for having a schedule like that,” she explains, “i can cook for myself just fine.”

 

seungwan purses her lips, “now that makes me feel bad.”

 

“if it makes you feel better, your father is paying me five figures a month.”

 

“it does not make me feel better! money shouldn’t be an excuse for sacrificing your health!” folding her arms across her chest doesn’t make her feel more intimidating, in fact, it does the opposite.

 

irene nods, if only to appease the idol. “i have proper meals, i’ve just been too busy to cook.”

 

“then let me do it for you, this way i know you’re eating properly.” seungwan’s insistence makes irene cave easily, the bodyguard finds it a bother to continue arguing and at the same time, someone approaches them.

 

a teenage boy b with excitement walks up to seungwan, “wendy? i’m a big fan, can we take a picture together?”

 

noting the slight discomfort on her face, irene slides herself between the two, “no pictures.”

 

the boy’s shoulders sag in disappointment and seungwan quickly pushes her aside, “it’s fine, irene. one picture won’t hurt.”

 

frowning slightly, irene takes the phone from the boy and snaps a couple of pictures for the two. the boy thanks her profusely and almost refuses to leave until irene glares at him pointedly.

 

“ease up a little, he’s just a fan.” seungwan nudges her bodyguard once they’re alone again.

 

“i thought you’d be more concerned about your appearance today, was i wrong?”

 

“nothing wrong with an idol grocery shopping in some casual clothes, i’m not that popular to trend from something as silly as this,” she brushes it off easily, “anyway, let’s go before more people recognise me.”

 

they leave with multiple bags filled with food, all of which are carried by irene as seungwan skips joyfully back to the car. the idol thanks her bodyguard by cooking them a simple lunch, bulgogi with rice. they spiral into another fight over how irene could’ve cooked it herself but seungwan insists that she makes it better.

 

---

 

seungwan’s phone buzzing with an ill-timed text draws her attention away from the conversation, she reads the text and switches the screen off — she can deal with it later.

 

“can’t even spare your dad five minutes?” her father sighs as he leans back in his chair.

 

seungwan, alongside irene, has both been summoned to her father’s office once again. a full month has passed since their initial agreement and he wants to know how things are, and if seungwan wants to keep her around.

 

“sorry, it’s work,” seungwan lies smoothly before returning to the conversation at hand, “whether irene stays as my bodyguard is up to her, nothing has happened to me this entire month.”

 

the businessman hums, “if irene is willing, you would be open to keeping her around as well?”

 

seungwan casts a glance at her bodyguard next to her, “yeah, i think we get along well.”

 

the youngest of the bae family shifts in her seat slightly, her expression revealing nothing about her choice. 

 

“i’ll stay till i find another job.”

 

her answer fills seungwan with mild disappointment. she isn’t expecting a resounding yet but she had hoped irene would stay on and that somehow, in the short span of a month, she’s swayed her. regardless, she sticks to her word and respects irene’s decision, neither of them wanted this in the first place so she can’t blame irene for not changing her mind.

 

“i appreciate it, irene. having you watching out for seungwan makes me feel more at ease, especially when she’s too busy to even call her father.” her father chuckles to himself.

 

“daddy…” seungwan grumbles, “i’ll call more often!”

 

“put it on your schedule, that way you’ll remember.” the businessman laughs heartily before returning his attention to irene, “if there’s anything you need, don’t hesitate to let me know.”

 

irene musters up a polite smile and nods, “thank you.”

 

the pair exits the office and seungwan makes a request to be dropped off at an apartment complex. their meeting with her father is the last thing on her schedule today and seungwan figures giving irene the night off would be a nice thing to do after an intense month of following her around from schedule to schedule.

 

“do you need me to wait for you?” irene asks as she pulls up to the front entrance.

 

“i’ll text you if i need a ride.” is all seungwan says before departing from her bodyguard.

 

like irene, seungwan keeps secrets too.

 

---

 

a purpled bruise sitting on the idol’s collarbone draws irene’s attention when she arrives to pick her up the next morning. instead of saying anything, she merely taps on her own collarbone to let seungwan know. to which, the idol adjusts her shirt with a small nod of thanks.

 

they get into seungwan’s car; like all things between them, everything is a deal, including the idol’s mode of transport. since they’re together most of the day, seungwan makes her bodyguard drive her car since they’ll always start and end their day at seungwan’s apartment. this way, seungwan gets to enjoy the comfort of a car while irene gets to drive a luxurious car — not that she cares much for it but she finds it easier to give in to seungwan on most days.

 

“i have something to show you,” seungwan begins to say as she twists her body to face irene, “here.”

 

she shoves her phone into her bodyguard’s hand and forces the taller girl to read.

 

wendy was spotted grocery shopping with a bodyguard! netizens debate if it’s over the top!

during the weekend, wendy was spotted by a fan at a neighbourhood supermarket where her bodyguard almost stopped them from snapping a picture together. the idol was kind enough to allow a picture but it has sparked debate on whether a bodyguard is truly necessary.

 

irene scrolls down the article, ignoring the comments while looking at the pictures that have been attached. the main one is clearly posted by the fan that asked for the picture but there’s another of the two of them. thankfully, irene’s back is facing the camera but seungwan’s face is fully visible. 

 

“send it to kihyun, he’ll know how to get it taken down.” irene mutters as she hands the phone back to seungwan who looks confused.

 

“why? it doesn’t bother me, some of the comments are amusing.” seungwan’s laugh dies down when she notices the frown on irene’s face.

 

“my pictures can’t be on the internet.”

 

the scar on her arm, the gun in her bed, all these things pop into seungwan’s mind when irene grows quiet. the look in her eyes is unfamiliar to the point where seungwan can only assume she’s scared. whatever the reason, she’s learnt that her bodyguard is only ever insistent when it comes to things that truly bother her.

 

“okay, i’ll speak to my company, they’ll have it taken down in no time.” 

 

“thanks.”

 

“don’t worry about it.” wendy hesitates, wrestling if she should ask more questions and ultimately, her curiosity gets the better of her, “can i ask why?”

 

grinding her teeth, irene casts her eyes to the ground. she stays silent momentarily, considering if seungwan should be allowed to know this. 

 

“you’re aware of what my family does, we can’t have any information showing up with a google search.” irene explains.

 

“but you said you weren’t in the business.”

 

“if they find one, they’ll find all of us. i wouldn’t ask if it wasn’t important.”

 

“i understand,” seungwan reaches over and gives irene a light squeeze on the arm, “i’ll take care of it.”

 

irene gives a small nod of gratitude, pulling away from seungwan as she places her hands on the wheel instead. feeling a little conscious about her actions, seungwan clears slightly and begins to text the staff at her company.

 

---

 

the days that go by are generally uneventful, seungwan’s schedule shifts from doing promotional activities to practice sessions as the details of her comeback are finally confirmed. 

 

a new haircut is much needed, and instead of the bright purple hair she once had, the idol settles for a more natural-looking brown with a wolf cut instead. once again, her name shows up in news articles with various pictures. to further protect her own identity, joohyun has no choice but to wear a mask alongside her cap.

 

it’s almost ten at night when the idol finishes a dance practice, though when irene tries to drive her home, she insists on going to her bodyguard’s place once again. it sets them on yet another argument, irene rejecting her whilst seungwan insists.

 

“you understand that i’ll have to drive you home after, right?” irene points out when their argument comes to a standstill.

 

“i can take a cab back!”

 

irene furrows her brows, “i can’t let you do that.”

 

“you don’t have to feel bad, i’m the one who’s putting you in a spot.” seungwan reasons, “let me make you dinner in return!”

 

“so you are aware that you’re putting me in a spot.” 

 

“come on, i made you a promise!”

 

“i don’t remember making any promises.”

 

seungwan clicks her teeth sharply, “i do! i said i would cook for you and i’m sticking to it!” 

 

“you’re persistent, i’ll give you that.” irene mutters as she turns the car around, heading in the direction of her place. there’s no winning someone as stubborn as her.

 

considering how late it is, seungwan whips up the easiest meal off the top of her head, kimchi fried rice. sliding into a seat across from her bodyguard, seungwan pokes around her food with glazed eyes. her head is clouded with thoughts of work, worrying about her upcoming comeback and if it’s going to even be good enough.

 

“why aren’t you eating?” irene nods at her, “did you poison the food?”

 

seungwan looks at her strangely, “is that meant to be a joke?”

 

her bodyguard grimaces, “was it a bad one?”

 

the idol giggles and it gradually turns into a loud burst of laughter, all tension dissipating from her, “i didn’t know you had it in you to joke around.”

 

“what’s that supposed to mean?” irene narrows her eyes while she shovels a spoonful of rice into .

 

resting her chin in the palm of her hand, seungwan watches irene with a softened gaze, “you know what i mean, i’m glad you’re getting more comfortable around me though.”

 

irene hums albeit a little indignantly, “you don’t give me much of a choice.”

 

“but you chose to continue working for my father, and with me. how’s the job hunt going?” the idol teases. a month ago, she would’ve felt apprehensive about saying anything mildly offensive, but now that she has a better understanding of joohyun, poking fun almost seems natural.

 

the bodyguard huffs, “for the record, i’ve tried but my mother has basically blacklisted me.”

 

“what’d you do before this?”

 

“i was a bouncer.”

 

“that sounds pretty cool.”

 

“not till you have to deal with drunkards,” irene shrugs, “it paid the bills and i didn’t hate it.”

 

leaning in closer, she eyes the taller girl with a hopeful expression, “do you hate following me around all day?”

 

setting her spoon down, irene quips back, “are you ever going to eat your food?”

 

“i’ll eat after you give me an answer.” the idol mutters with pursed lips.

 

“i don’t hate it, happy?”

 

the idol clicks her teeth, “you’re saying that just to shut me up, aren’t you?”

 

“i don’t lie, wendy, now eat.” irene grumbles as she continues her meal.

 

“you know…” seungwan starts with a dramatic sigh, “you can call me seungwan too, your brothers do it too...”

 

the sound of a metal spoon clinking with a glass plate coupled with irene’s sharp stare should be enough to dissuade anyone, “you’re not getting my name.”

 

but seungwan doesn’t fear her.

 

“will you ever tell me?”

 

it’s a tall ask for someone like irene, seungwan knows, but it hadn’t been this hard to get her brothers’ real names. to her utmost surprise, irene lifts a finger and beckons her to come closer. b with excitement, she leans across the counter while resting her weight on her elbows.

 

instead of speaking, seungwan sees irene’s hand moving from the corner of her eye and she’s powerless against her bodyguard’s speed. a spoonful of rice is shoved into seungwan’s mouth and she stumbles back.

 

the room fills with seungwan’s muffled protests though they are delayed by the need to chew and the sound of irene cracking into a fit of laughter. glaring at her bodyguard, her anger doesn’t last when she sees the grin on her face. it’s rare to see her smile, let alone laugh, and seungwan can’t help but think that it’s worth almost choking on rice. 

 

“i won’t forget this, irene bae.” seungwan threatens with a narrowed gaze, “just you wait.”

 

ticking an eyebrow upwards, irene smiles in amusement, “oh? i can’t wait.”

 

pouting, seungwan settles back down on the stool and begins eating. irene ends up doing the dishes after they’re done eating. despite seungwan’s insistence, she felt that it was only fair if she cleaned up. 

 

she finds seungwan dozed off on the couch when she’s done, her face scrunching up in confusion at how fast she manages to fall asleep. her phone slips from her hand and lands on the carpeted ground with a soft thud. crouching to pick it up, irene inadvertently catches a glimpse of the unlocked screen. on the notes app lies a list.

 

irene bae

-hilla bae’s secret daughter (why?)

-birthday 3/29 (kihyun’s twin 🤮🤮)

-hates to talk about family

-clothes too big, can’t borrow anything

-scar on arm (DO NOT bring it up)

-hates chicken??

-previously a bouncer (cool!!!)

 

it’s hardly an extensive list, but it’s more than what most people know about her. maybe she’s revealed too much, but it’s helped them to be a lot more comfortable with each other. irene scoffs softly as she adds something to the bottom of the list. clicking the phone shut, she scoops seungwan into her arms and carries her into her room. she lets the idol take her bed once again, leaving her phone beside her once she’s tucked in. irene shuts the door as she exits, leaving seungwan alone.

 

cracking an eye open, seungwan’s heart thrums with worry regarding what irene might have seen on her phone. she fell asleep momentarily but woke up when irene was typing something and it was easier to continue to pretend to be asleep.

 

unlocking her phone, she notices the change in the list almost immediately.

 

-real name 배주현

 

seungwan clamps a hand over as she squeals in excitement, kicking the sheets as her cheeks involuntarily lift into a wide smile. 

 

“bae joohyun—” her attempt to say irene’s name aloud is interrupted when the door abruptly swings open and she slams her back into the bed, feigning sleep.

 

“your phone is on,” her bodyguard sighs, “and the walls are thin.”

 

without opening her eyes, seungwan shuts her phone off, “i’m asleep, goodnight, joohyun.”

 

“night.”

 

“wait!”

 

“goodnight, son seungwan. you are a pain in the .”

 

“sweet dreams, jooyhun!”

 

the idol has a bounce in her step the next day, making joohyun look awfully broody as she trails behind her. taking precautions, her bodyguard has only allowed her to use her real name when they’re alone and seungwan is more than agreeable.

 

---

 

“you can spend the night at my place, it’s late.” seungwan offers with an inviting smile after a schedule to film her newest music video. the filming ran well into the night and her bodyguard had no choice but to wait till she was done.

 

seungwan has stayed over at joohyun’s place more than once now, it only seems fair to do the same.

 

joohyun shakes her head, “i’ll be fine, i don’t want to impose.”

 

“i don’t feel comfortable with you driving home when you’re clearly exhausted. i have a guest room.” the idol murmurs, “will you stay?”

 

joohyun glances at the clock, it’s almost three in the morning and she is indeed feeling the fatigue hitting her. a half an hour's drive back home is hardly appealing.

 

“if you’re really alright with it.”

 

if it’d been any normal day perhaps joohyun would have felt more conscious about following the idol home, it might feel like she’s trespassing. she might’ve thought of kihyun’s words. none of those thoughts come to mind when she steps into seungwan’s apartment, even less as she’s offered a fresh change of clothes. 

 

whilst seungwan has a luxurious apartment, the underutilised guest room is in a state of disarray. dust lingers on every inch of every surface and it would be blatant malice to allow anyone to sleep in there. joohyun doesn’t mind taking the couch, but seungwan is pushing her towards her room before she can even get a word out. the bed is big enough for the two of them to fit comfortably, but joohyun is hesitant to share a bed.

 

the idol takes drastic action, instead of trying to convince her bodyguard, she lifts a foot and sends it towards joohyun’s lower back. the impact and abruptness of it send her stumbling towards the bed.

 

“what the hell?” landing face first in the scented sheets, joohyun groans as she collects herself.

 

“it’s four in the morning, let’s not fight.” seungwan stops her and crawls onto the bed as well.

 

sliding under the sheets, joohyun stares up at the ceiling while seungwan curls into a ball. there’s a reasonable amount of space between them but joohyun shifts even closer to the edge of the bed to put some extra distance between them.

 

“there’s plenty of room, why are you shifting further?”

 

swallowing, joohyun mutters, “don’t you feel awkward sharing a bed with a stranger?”

 

lying on her side, seungwan props her head up with her elbow. “i don’t think you’re a stranger, acquaintance might be a better word but you’re a friend to me. i don’t know how you feel about me but you’re not someone who opens up easily and you gave me your real name, that’s gotta count for something, right?”

 

joohyun hums softly as she continues to lie stiffly, and perhaps something about the lateness of night brings out the vulnerability in people.

 

“i never had friends growing up,” the bodyguard admits awkwardly, “my mother made sure we kept to ourselves for fear of exposing the family.”

 

seungwan’s voice softens, “were you lonely?”

 

the loneliness only became evident as she grew older and further away from her family. joohyun shakes her head, “i had my brothers.”

 

“it’s good that you have them,” seungwan smiles, “i was never best friends with my sister. we were raised in a competitive environment and she was always better.”

 

mildly intrigued, joohyun turns to face her, “it didn’t seem that way at the party.”

 

“losing our mother changed things, we cherished each other a lot more.” the idol’s tone feels solemn but her lips remain fixed in a smile. through a half-lidded gaze, she watches joohyun quietly despite her urge to learn more about her. the silence feels comforting and seungwan wonders if joohyun feels the same.

 

the seemingly endless silence comes to a halt when joohyun turns away from her, “thanks for being my friend, son seungwan.”

 

even as she falls into a slumber, seungwan has the biggest smile plastered across her face.

 

---

 

when morning arrives, joohyun is weighed down by seungwan’s limbs. overnight, she’s become a bolster for the idol. she finds herself frozen stiff, not wanting to wake the smaller girl. they deserve to catch a little more shut-eye considering how late they got back last night but joohyun is wide awake from feeling seungwan’s breath on her cheek.

 

the tension from her body is slow to fade and it saps all energy from her. with how she watched the sunrise in her peripheral vision, she knows a considerable amount of time has passed since she first woke but seungwan is nowhere close to waking. her soft snores are full of contentment and as much as joohyun wants to escape to the couch, she doesn’t want to interrupt the idol’s rest.

 

ultimately, she succumbs to her fatigue once again, setting aside her discomfort.

 

seungwan returns to the world of the living with slow blinks, squinting slightly as the sun hits her face. her body feels too warm and turning slightly, she’s reminded of the fact that her bodyguard is sharing her bed. pushing herself up with her hands, she separates herself from joohyun and the movement stirs the other girl from her slumber.

 

“morning,” seungwan murmurs in a raspy whisper, “how’d you sleep?”

 

“fine,” joohyun mutters despite the fact that her eyes feel like they’re on fire and her body feels like it’s falling apart.

 

seungwan narrows her eyes and leans in close to joohyun’s face. “liar, your eyebags look terrible.” she sighs, “was it that uncomfortable?”

 

“you tell me, you were basically sleeping on me.” joohyun retorts.

 

the idol flops back onto the bed with a soft laugh, “sorry, i’m not used to sleeping with people. i’ll take note for next time.”

 

“there’s not going to be a next time,” joohyun grumbles, “i won’t make the same mistake twice.”

 

“you might be the only person in the world who passes up on a chance to share a bed with me.” 

 

“i’ll be sure to tell everyone it’s not as good as they think.”

 

“never meet your heroes, right?” seungwan laughs.

 

joohyun exhales, “good thing i’m not a fan.” 

 

seungwan swings her legs off the bed and turns back towards her bodyguard, “just you wait, bae joohyun, you’ll be fighting my fans for my photocards in a month’s time.”

 

---

 

the announcement of wendy’s comeback takes the country by storm, it’s all anyone can talk about. if she hadn’t already captured the nation's attention with her first album, all eyes are surely on her now.

 

the surge of new fans doesn’t go unnoticed by joohyun and for the first time since she’s taken up the role of seungwan’s bodyguard, she’s finally put to work. given her stature, joohyun towers over most people. it takes one fan getting too close to send a message and she has no issue with getting a little rough. a powerful shove sends them sprawling to the ground while creating enough space between seungwan and her fans. 

 

her sharp glare peeking from beneath her cap says more than enough to any who dares to draw close. seungwan’s eyes widen in shock as she tries to check on the fan but joohyun stops her with an arm, urging her to leave. 

 

the moment they’re out of earshot of the fans, seungwan explodes on joohyun.

 

“what the hell did you do that for? you basically shoved her!” the idol exclaims, smacking joohyun on the arm.

 

frowning indignantly, joohyun tightens her jaw, “i’d rather be safe than sorry, you’ve gotten a lot more fans than usual and it’d be easy for someone malicious to blend in with the crowd.”

 

“did she look like she was going to hurt me?” seungwan presses, annoyed at the abrupt display of violence.

 

“look,” joohyun pinches the bridge of her nose, lowering her voice so she wouldn’t be overheard by onlookers, “your father could’ve gone to any well-reputed security company but instead he hired a bodyguard from hilla bae, do you understand what that means?”

 

seungwan’s shoulders droop slightly as she looks up at joohyun, “i know, alright? i’m aware of my popularity too, and how you act while you’re with me will affect my reputation regardless of intention. i just need you to show a little bit of restraint and not be so… thuggish. ”

 

her poor choice of words leaves a bitter taste in joohyun’s mouth, “my bad, i’ll be sure to politely tell them to back off next time.”

 

“don’t be sarcastic, i didn’t mean it like that. will you just ease off on the violence unless it’s truly necessary?” seungwan sighs, almost half-pleading with the taller girl.

 

“whatever you say, princess. ”

 

“don’t call me that, i hate it.”

 

“why?” joohyun digs, “because ki used to call you that?”

 

the heel of seungwan’s foot meets with joohyun’s toes and the bodyguard grunts in pain, knowing fully well that she’s hit the mark. seungwan storms off, muttering something about the twins being unbearable and joohyun staggers quickly behind her, shoving the knowledge to the back of her head for later use.

 

---

 

ten unread texts over the course of two weeks, without replying to any of them, seungwan knows showing up at her apartment would be easier. her bodyguard doesn’t say anything when she drops her off, but there’s a knowing look on her face as she drives off.

 

it’s been a while since she’s been here, she hides behind the excuse of work if only to make herself feel better. keying in the passcode feels as familiar as ever, the guard acknowledges her with a nod as she enters and she does the same. 

 

seungwan makes her way to the apartment of park sooyoung, or a fellow idol known as joy. debuting in the same week led them to become friends, even though fans have speculated a sort of rivalry between them since their comebacks have constantly collided. 

 

they couldn’t be any more wrong because the moment seungwan steps into the apartment, sooyoung greets her with a swift kiss on the lips.

 

“two ing weeks,” sooyoung mumbles as she pulls back, “at least text me back next time.”

 

“you know i’m going to show up eventually,” seungwan smiles lazily, “and i’ve been swamped with work, even my bodyguard thinks my schedule is insane.”

 

“your bodyguard, huh?” sooyoung strolls away from the idol, “i overheard the staff talking about her, they say she’s tall and intimidating, the type that saps happiness from a room.”

 

seungwan snorts, “they’re right about that, but it works for her.”

 

sooyoung swivels around sharply, narrowing her gaze, “they say she’s pretty too.”

 

“oh, she is,” seungwan cups her cheeks gently, “but i think you’re prettier.”

 

pulling her hands away, sooyoung grumbles, “nice try, son seungwan, i’m not falling for that.”

 

“i know, but it makes your heart race all the same. that’s why we work.” the idol beams, “how have you been?”

 

“busy,” sooyoung ignores her initial remark as she strolls towards her wine cabinet, “you know how it is when a comeback draws close.”

 

“tell me about it, i think i’ve slept a total of 30 hours in the past week,” seungwan makes herself comfortable on the couch as a puppy leaps up to greet her, “haetnim’s growing bigger, isn’t she?”

 

“of course she is, she’s a puppy.”

 

seungwan hums softly, scratching the back of haetnim’s ear, happy to give the puppy some attention while sooyoung pours some wine. she offers the glass to seungwan before settling next to her. clinking their glasses, they each take a sip before setting it down on the coffee table. 

 

seungwan wastes no time in straddling her, they’ve done this for quite some time now and things are easier if they jump right into things. pressing a deep kiss to her lips, seungwan traces her jaw with a feathered touch. in turn, sooyoung’s hands begin to tug at the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head and tossing it aside.

 

“you’re in a hurry today, eager to get back to your bodyguard?” sooyoung teases, a tint of jealousy lingers in her words.

 

“i wouldn’t be here if i wanted her,” seungwan mutters in between leaving kisses down the side of sooyoung’s neck, “you’re all i want for tonight.”

 

the younger girl scoffs, knowing that everything that she says is a lie, but a part of her desperately wants to believe it. she kisses her back fervently to claim the idol as hers for the night, running her hands through her hair and grabbing it tight. she’ll fall asleep when they’re done, seungwan will wait for her to fully doze off before slinking away. by the time dawn arrives, there will be no trace of her.

 

and they do it over and over again, spewing lies and using each other as a means to feel something. 

 

but something about seungwan has changed. her gaze, her touch, her lies, everything feels duller and to some extent, forced. they never spoke of the end, but sooyoung knows this will be the last night they spend together. 

 

---

 

the opening kang seulgi’s first solo exhibition falls on the evening before the release of wendy’s second album. as much as she knows she has an insanely early schedule the next day, there’s no chance that seungwan would skip it.

 

“wannie! i thought you couldn’t make it!” seulgi beams when she spots the idol strolling in with her bodyguard by her side. the two embrace tightly before separating in an excited chatter.

 

“what kind of friend would i be if i missed your first show?” seungwan grins, “congratulations, seulgi-ah! i’m excited to see what you’ve been cooking up.”

 

“thank you, though i could say the same for your album.” seulgi winks as her attention falls onto the brooding figure behind seungwan, “it’s nice to see you again, irene.”

 

eyes flitting from seulgi to her bodyguard, seungwan freezes, “wait, you guys know each other?”

 

seulgi rests a hand on her shoulder, “barely, i lent her my lighter at your dad’s launch party.”

 

“well, you already know she’s my bodyguard.” seungwan briefly introduces the two, “and irene, this is my best friend, seulgi.”

 

joohyun nods, “congratulations on your first exhibition.”

 

“thank you, and by the way, there’s been a couple of trending articles recently, are those to generate hype?” the artist teases lightly.

 

“trust me, it’s not intentional.” the idol groans, “anyway, hurry up and show me your masterpieces already, i’m losing precious sleep for you.”

 

“gladly,” seulgi grins, though she turns her head to acknowledge joohyun’s presence with a small nod, beckoning her to follow along too. 

 

they start with the smaller pieces, abstract sketches with a splash of colour and various experiments. while it makes no sense to joohyun, seungwan listens with rapt attention, nodding and complimenting her best friend every so often.

 

the main piece lies in the center of the gallery, a portrait of her muse, or so seulgi declares. the dim lighting she chose for the painting makes it hard to fully see her features. on top of that, the muse has her back turned. the main thing that stands out is her red lipstick and seductive smirk.

 

seungwan releases a soft exhale, “she’s gorgeous, seul. you really outdid yourself this time. is she coming tonight?”

 

“what can i say? i don’t call her my muse for no reason.” seulgi’s tone is tinted with affection, “she said she’d be coming from a fan meeting, but those things tend to run late, don’t they?”

 

patting her arm gently, seungwan reassures seulgi, “she’ll make it, don’t worry.”

 

just as she is beginning to feel out of place, joohyun’s phone buzzing in her pocket gives her an excuse to leave the pair. she bows her head and exits the gallery to take the call along the sidewalk. 

 

---

 

“what do you want?”

 

“calm down, joohyun.” hajoon sighs, “just reminding you to be more inconspicuous when you’re around seungwan. our dear mother didn’t like the recent articles popping up because of you.”

 

“i’m doing the job she made me do, what else does she want?”

 

“i know, joohyun, but you have to remember that seungwan’s an extremely public figure, there are eyes on both of you at all times.”

 

her grip around her phone tightens, “i won’t jeopardize the family if that’s what you’re worried about.”

 

“regardless of your actions, people will try to look into you. her fans will pick apart every detail so it’s best you don’t give them a reason to dig up anything about you.” her brother warns, and she knows he’s just concerned.

 

“i’ll be careful.”

 

“call me if you run into any problems, okay?”

 

“i will.”

 

“take care.”

 

ending the call, joohyun slips her phone back into her pocket, though she notices a pair of eyes on her. glancing in the same direction, the bodyguard spots a woman in a silver dress staring at her. her long curls fall loosely over her shoulders as she struts over to joohyun. something about her makes joohyun feel like she should know her.

 

“you’re wendy’s bodyguard, aren’t you?”

 

with a reminder so recent from her older brother and her inability to tell this woman’s intentions, joohyun remains guarded.

 

“who are you?”

 

“a friend of seungwan’s,” the woman states simply. fishing for a tube of lipstick from her purse, she presses it into the palm of joohyun’s hand, “she left this at my place the other day. give it back to her on my behalf, won’t you?”

 

joohyun’s gaze follows her figure as she walks past her into the entrance of the gallery. the woman turns her head to look back at her, a mirthless smirk on her lips, “you’re as pretty as she says.”

 

the view of her back combined with the smirk — this is seulgi’s muse.

 

“sooyoung,” seungwan’s sharp voice interrupts the oddly tense interaction between the two, “i thought you were going to arrive much later.”

 

“i ended on time,” the muse turns her attention to the idol, “you’re leaving already?”

 

“yeah, seul’s chasing me away because of my schedule.”

 

sooyoung pouts, “won’t you stay for a little longer?”

 

“go in, seulgi’s been waiting for you,” seungwan nudges her in, “i’ll see you soon.”

 

sooyoung’s gaze flits from seungwan back to joohyun, and she trudges in without another word. joining her bodyguard outside, there seems to be an anger that lingers around the idol. all this while, the taller girl has been putting the pieces together, figuring out the connection between the trio.

 

it sets the two in an unforeseen situation, either they could brush it aside or the truth comes to light in a matter of minutes.

 

“what did she say to you?” seungwan eventually asks, resting her back against the wall of the building. knowing what sooyoung could've said to joohyun makes her anxious.

 

joohyun reveals the lipstick in her hand, “she said you left it behind.”

 

one look at the brand and the shade and seungwan knows sooyoung’s actions are calculated. snatching it from her hand, seungwan grinds her teeth in frustration. she storms over to the nearest garbage bin and trashes it without hesitation. it leaves joohyun confused and seungwan knows an explanation however brief is necessary.

 

“i didn’t leave it behind,” the idol huffs, "ignore whatever she said, she’s just jealous.”

 

“of what?”

 

“you.”

 

the weight of one word makes joohyun wonder if there’s more to seungwan’s annoyance. she searches seungwan’s expression for a trace of an answer but finds tears in her eyes instead.

 

“sorry, it’s just…”

 

“complicated?” joohyun guesses.

 

“yeah…”

 

“you don’t have to explain things, it’s none of my business.”

 

pacing in her step, seungwan exhales through her nose, “but she’s dragging you into them, we had a promise to keep things quiet.”

 

joohyun furrows her brows, not quite understanding the intensity of her emotions. gently, she reassures, “i can keep a secret.” 

 

“it’s not about keeping secrets, it’s just…” seungwan runs a hand through her hair as she turns away from her, “you see me in a different light now, don’t you?”

 

of course, her reputation matters, but joohyun has never held any regard for seungwan as an idol. their first interaction solidified the fact that she was just another rich girl to joohyun.

 

taking a tentative step closer, joohyun asks, “does it matter what i think?”

 

does it matter? the words echo in her head, swirling ceaselessly with her own thoughts until her guilt crawls forth and she presses her eyes shut. what more can she hide if sooyoung has already tried to expose them out of spite? 

 

“i’ve been sleeping with my best friend’s crush knowing fully she has feelings for me, and i’ve never told seulgi,” seungwan lets a wry laugh slip and she tethers on the edge of breaking down entirely, “you must think i’m a horrible ing person.”

 

“you think that of yourself, seungwan,” joohyun murmurs as she bites the inside of her cheek, “if it feels wrong to you, why do you still do it?”

 

the deflection comes to her instantaneously and seungwan opens to speak but freezes. she knows the truth is she enjoys it — to be loved without any need for reciprocation. it’s selfish, she knows, and to be seen as anything other than a good person by joohyun feels like the end of the world.

 

joohyun takes her silence as the end of this conversation and takes her by the arm, “i’ll take you home.”

 

but the idol refuses to budge, clenching her fists as she looks at joohyun. through gritted teeth, she utters a question, “i just have to know one thing, would you ever hate me?”

 

“for what?”

 

seungwan’s lips tremble as she admits helplessly.

 

“for falling for you instead.”

 

---

end notes:

meant to update a lot sooner but i've been stuck rearranging the scenes, a lot of this fic feels all over the place and i think the first chap was so mid idk if it even did anything to draw people in yknow? hopefully this chapter's a little more exciting, i have so many doubts but it's kinda late to turn back now. anyway, cool, thanks for reading.