"I tried to forget you;
sunk all your memories in the river,
but the waves keep tossing them back."

— No One Tells You How Easy It Is To Fall In Love Or How Hard It To Stay There, Emi Mahmoud

Tefi broke away, taking in two, three inhales and expelling them slowly one after the other as she tried to stabilize her breathing before she huskily whispered, "I don't know about you, but this feels like the farthest thing from a love story."

Anne smiled, sighing after a moment. "Yeah. This attempt is shot to hell," she replied, before sealing their shared thoughts with another kiss. That was the only other time they shared this kind of intimacy together, after being in this unconventional situation for several months now. The very first time was on the same night they first met.

"And?"

Si Tefi naman ngayon ang nakataas ang kilay kay Winnie. "Anong and?"

"'Yun na 'yun?" dismayadong tanong ni Winnie. Kaka-relax lang ng kilay niya nang umpisahan nila ang topic of conversation, pero ngayon ay nakakunot na namang muli ang noo niya dahil pa-mysterious masyado ang kanyang mentor.

Iritadong kinamot ni Tefi ang blunt niyang bangs, bago ito suklayin ulit para iayos gamit ang mga daliri. "Sino ba kasi ang nagsabing sumama ka dito? Dapat ba 'pag nag-leave ako, magli-leave ka rin?"

Isang mahabang buntong-hininga ang pinakawalan ni Winnie, nagpipigil ng bahagyang irita dahil baka makalimutan niyang superior niya ang kausap niya. Sa trabaho naman, matinong kausap si Tefi. Pero kapag pala sa labas ng trabaho, ang hirap magtimping pingutin ang Senior Managing Director ng kanilang kompanya. "Sorry na po," sarkastikong sabi ni Winnie.

Natatawang umirap si Tefi, feigning annoyance. "Hindi mo pa rin sinagot 'yung tanong ko. Bakit ka ba kasi sumama dito?"

"Well, 'di ba sabi mo sa'kin, you owe me," sagot lang sa kanya ng subordinate niya, matter-of-factly. "Ito na 'yun. I'm getting what I'm owed."

"Wow. As if napaka-importante ng bakasyon kong 'to para kunin mo pa sa'kin, ha." In the back of her mind, parang may blackmail undertones yata ang sinabing iyon ng kanyang sobrang usiserang pale-faced protégé. Kahit kakasabi lang nito na almost tinutubos niya ang alone-time ni Tefi as part of her payment for a good deed na parang kaluluwang isinangla na ang hinihingi nito sa kanya, ay naka-maintain lang ang parehong wide-eyed, innocent expression sa mukha ni Winnie na mistulang permanent resting face nito. Pakiramdam ni Tefi ay pinaglalaruan siya ng kausap, what with her knowing Winnie is capable of master manipulation tactics like the one she's currently experiencing, whilst insisting that she's just doing things as things are intended to be done. "But honestly, you're right anyway," Tefi relented.

"Oh, see?" agree ni Winnie. Tumuro pa sa mentor bago bumalik sa kinakain niyang barbeque. Ibináon iyon ng Junior Managing Director pagkatapos nilang kumain ng hapunan sa parehong restaurant na pinuntahan nila kaninang umaga, pagkadating nila sa resort. Masarap ang sinangag doon kaninang breakfast kaya naisip ulit ni Tefi na doon na lang ulit mag-dinner after she had settled in sa binook niyang kwarto for her one week stay. Kasalukuyan nilang ninanamnam ang papalamig na hangin at pinagmamasdan ang unti-unting paghahalo ng violet at orange ng dapit-hapon sa malayo, habang pawala nang pawala ang liwanag ng araw.

"'De, pero seriously, nagwo-worry lang naman ako. Baka mamaya maglakad ka na lang sa dagat nang tuloy-tuloy a la ia Woolf, eh, that's why I'm asking," no-holds-barred na pag-offer ni Winnie ng explanation. Nanlaki na lang ang mga mata ni Tefi and scoffed in disbelief sa audacity ng loka-lokang kasama.

"Ako? Magpapakamatay?" dramatic na napasinghap si Tefi, as if hindi makapaniwala kay Winnie for even hinting at that. "She drowned in a river, by the way," pahabol niyang pag-correct sa sinabi nito.

"Okay, pero dagat 'tong nasa harap natin. So what's your point?" Ayan na naman si Winnie sa kanyang pagiging smart-mouth. "All I'm saying is, with how you recounted your story, parang sakit na sakit ka pa rin, Mami."

Napapalatak ng dila si Tefi, walang humor sa mapanlibak na kombinasyon ng ngisi at tawa niyang pilit. "Sakit na sakit? Ako? Dahil saan? Dahil lang sa—"

"Sa summer fling mong hindi mo makalimutan. Hay, nako," umirap si Winnie. "Ms. Tefi, I take your words seriously kaya! When you wanted to confide with me about your mishaps sa halos buong one month mo dito sa resort na 'to, hindi ko na makalimutan how desparate and in pain you were. Kaya never kong tatalikuran ang pangako kong maging shoulder to cry on, a person you can entrust your most vulnerable moments with—" oops! Biglang tapak ni Winnie sa brakes dahil kailangang kumambyo at mukhang she just struck a nerve. All of a sudden, wala nang humor sa piercing eyes ni Ms. Tefi at lalong naging matalim ang tingin nito sa kanya. She had to backtrack quickly. "Sorry. I know it's complicated with the situation we are in. I know. Pero, Tefi, I just want to make sure na even though you're still techincally a boss, outside work, with personal matters, I want you to know you can always rely on me as your friend."

After holding the deathly glare she shot at Winnie for a few more seconds, Tefi's gaze eventually softened. "Hindi ko nga siya fling, teh."

Winnie could finally relax her shoulders again. "Okay, and? I heard you the first time pero hindi mo nga kasi tinatapos 'yung kwento mong bitin. Ano 'to, by installment 'yung plot? Parang utang, hulugan? Five-gives, ganon? What happened next?"

"Gagang 'to, apurada! Like I just said," Tefi rolled her eyes, as she emphasized the word just to her co-worker, "using the exact words she used to describe it—the attempt was shot to hell."

Well, because it was, for the most part, just a sorry excuse to justify her desperate need to move on. A ridiculous experiment that oh-so graciously and mercifully gifted her not one, but two consecutive heartbreaks. Tefi learned a valuable life lesson, which taught her that trying to move on from a broken heart by further breaking your heart only proves useful at making sure you have a, guess what? A broken ing heart.

"Tsk! Bakit niyo naman ba kasi napag-desisyunang mag-ganyan-ganyan," pa-sermon na saad ni Winnie, pagkatapos ay kinagat ang kumukunat na palang barbeque. Kanina pa iyon nakatunganga sa kamay niya dahil busy siyang usisain ang ka-trabaho. "Gaya nga ng sinabi sa'kin ng lola ko sa mother's side, kapag naglaro ka ng apoy, mauubusan ka ng posporo!"

"Pauso ka teh! Hindi ba, kapag naglaro ka ng apoy, pwede kang masunog, or something?"

"'Yung lola ko kausapin mo, Mami," sunod-sunod nang kinagatan ni Winnie ang barbeque hanggang sa maubos. Hawak niya pa rin ang stick dahil walang malapit na basurahan. Ginamit na lang niya ito upang mag-drawing sa buhangin ng etits at isulat ang mga katagang "Sad ghorl ka ghorl?" sa ibabaw ng arrow na nakaturo sa right, kung saan nakaupo sa tabi niya si Tefi. Sinamantala niya ang pagkakataong nakatulala sa malayo ang kausap at ang side profile lang nitong nahaharangan ng hanggang bewang at itim na itim nitong buhok ang nakakasaksi sa ginagawa niya. Wala nang gaanong liwanag sa labas dahil halos nakababa na nang tuluyan ang araw na mistulang nagtatago lang sa likod ng malawak na dagat. "Pero alam mo, curious pa rin talaga ako eh. Of all the things na pagti-trip-an niyo, bakit mga sarili niyo pa?"

At may point si Winnie doon. Sa totoo lang, hindi rin alam ni Tefi. "Siguro gaga lang talaga ako."

"At sa lahat ng gaga, ikaw pa 'yung talunan," palihim na sumilip si Winnie kay Tefi para tignan ang magiging reaksyon nito pagkatapos niyang ma-realize kung ano ang lumabas sa bibig niya. "What I mean is, uh, because you lost your silly little game, right?" pautal niyang habol to soften whatever blow Tefi just took from her words. Taklesa ang gay, I fear.

"Yeah, I did," pasuko na lang na sagot ni Tefi. "Gaga ka, Winter Wonderland Singson, ha. Namumuro ka na talaga."

"Sorry na talaga, Tefi!" sigaw ni Winnie as if in prayer at tila nagmamakaawa, pagkatapos ipagdaop ang mga palad niyang iniharang sa kanyang kausap at sa nakasara niyang mga mata. Patayo na nakausli ang stick na nakaipit sa pagitan ng kanyang mga kamay.

"Pero aminin mo naman, Mami," umpisa ulit ni Winnie pagkatapos matagumpay na pigilan ang boss na magkaroon ng idea na gamitin ang hawak niyang barbeque stick sa mga paraang hindi magandang i-describe. "'Apaka-masochist ng dating na babalik ka pa rito, what with all that happened between the two of you here. For the reminisce ang person! Tapos ang pakla naman ng memories. 'Di ko maintindihan ang trip mo."

Na-realize ni Tefi, na despite the fact that Winnie kept assaulting her with her, albeit correct, pero parang nananadyang words, ay wala siyang balak whatsoever na makipag-argumento dito. Maybe she knew she was only speaking the truth. And now that Winnie had mentioned it, as she stared at the fading colors of the sky, with the moon slowly ascending above the ocean's dark waters, and as she remembered the feeling of the sand beneath the soles of her sandals, she, too, wondered what it was about the place—the "mapaklang" memory—that was worth going back to.

"Magugulat ka ba kung sasabihin kong hindi ko rin maintindihan?" Tefi more so stated than asked. May wistfulness sa boses niya na parang nangangarap siya nang gising, and whatever was on her mind at the moment was pulling her away, far from the now. Winnie noted this, and despite having the urge to poke fun at it again, to try to make the atmosphere more lighthearted, she resisted. Gusto niyang sabihin na, mas magugulat ako kung naiintindihan mo, actually. But then again, ano pa ba ang surprising sa roleta-ng-clichés of a story na meron itong si Tefi. Kaka-Netflix niya 'yan eh.

Winnie, instead, wanted to know something that Tefi seemed to purposefully leave out of context. "Mami, sigurado ka bang kaya mo siya hinahanap-hanap eh dahil mahal mo nga siya, o dahil nasaktan ka niya?"

Suddenly, may wise words yatang lumabas sa matabil na dila ni Winnie. Siya pa rin ba 'yung parehong taong nagdo-drawing ng tite sa buhangin kani-kanina lang? Nag-iba yata bigla ang ihip ng hangin. "Anong seasoning nung barbeque na kinain mo? Tumatalino ka yatang kausap," biro ni Tefi.

Pigilan ang sarili, Winnie, okay. Kahit na mukhang ready nang makipag-bardagulan ang boss, alam niyang fragile pa rin ang mental at emotional state nito. She wanted to get to the bottom of things without forcing Tefi, or making her feel overwhelmed with her questions. While keeping the same interest, she tried to ignore Tefi's subtle jab at her intellect for the sake of "letting loose," as she'd like to put it.

"Hehe," pekeng pagtawa ni Winnie habang uma-acting na nahihiya. "Matalino naman talaga ako, Ms. Tefi. Kanino pa ba ako magmamana? Siyempre sa'yo lang naman, 'di ba?"

Tefi didn't react. Instead, she just looked at her, a deadpan expression on her face. Afterwards, she exhaled. Long and heavy, as if gusto niyang paginhawain ang pakiramdam n