'I wanted to tell you

That my heart's in your hands

I prayed for the day,

That I would get the chance.'

.

.

.

.

Kyungsoo could barely remember how many years or how long rather, has he been friends with the tall, lanky boy he met on his second grade in elementary school.

Not to mention the fact that they are now eternally bonded, and that they have pronounced themselves (Just Chanyeol exactly, nothing came out of Kyungsoo's mouth) best friends after the taller boy had just invited him to his house to play video games. Kyungsoo felt like it had only been a brief moment in time, and suddenly in a blink of his pretty doe eyes, things have already changed for the long term. Didn't really expect that they would be together for a long time like this.

He was picking up books from his locker, while checking on the paper that had been purposely stuck on his locker door, that which contained the schedule of his classes, glancing back and forth from the paper to his books just to check what he needed for his afternoon classes.

 

 

He was too engrossed to even notice a pair of long arms sliding around his waist.

 

 

"And up we go~!!!" The voice was deep, so deep and rough that Kyungsoo snapped out of his thoughts immediately, realizing he was being lifted up from the ground. Eyes wide, Kyungsoo gasped at the sudden action, his hands letting go of the thick algebra book he was holding, finding himself gripping tightly on the arms that were around him, in fear that the person would clumsily drop him if not being careful.

"PUT ME DOWN, YEOL!! I SWEAR TO GO –", Kyungsoo couldn't finish his sentence, silenced by the sudden twirl, the shorter's vision spinning around and around, probably for about two or three spins before stopping. He found himself in a dizzy state, blinking his eyes and shaking his head to clear off his vision, before looking over his shoulder to welcome the man behind him with a death glare.

"Put me down, Chanyeol. I swear if I get on my feet, I am going to kick your balls." Kyungsoo said with an undertone of a threat coming the taller's way.

"I know you won't." Chanyeol whispered loudly in his ear, a smirk of mischief forming in his face. He was still carrying Kyungsoo, not letting go of the other, keeping his grip on his waist tighter.

"Yes, I will, now will you please let go of me?!!" Kyungsoo struggled under his grip, shaking his legs in every direction, pinching the latter's arm (to which he couldn't sadly, because Chanyeol was wearing a thick black hoodie), shaking his body just so Chanyeol would let loose. Unfortunately, none of his antics made the giant flinch or even move an inch.

"I don't remember the last time he was THIS strong". Kyungsoo thought under his frustrated breath, he huffed, making his cheeks puff like a soft marshmallow. He leaned the back of his head in defeat on Chanyeol's chest, his arms soon dangling on his sides.

"I know you won't. You love me, Soo. You will never do anything to hurt me." Chanyeol replied, a small chuckle dripping from his lips. Even though it came in the form of a joke, Kyungsoo's ears can easily make it out as something else, something else that instantly made his heartbeat erratic, everything around him once again in a slow motion, and a gush of red suddenly rushing up to his cheeks.

 

 

"Of course, I love you. My heart's always been for you since we were kids."

"I just wish you knew that by now."

 

 

"I w-won't hurt you, but I will stop helping you in your math h-homework if you don't put me down." Kyungsoo could feel a lump on his throat, he had a really hard time gulping it down, and he feels as though in this spring weather the temperature began to rise.

"Awww, I was just having a little fun, Soo." Even if Kyungsoo couldn't see, he knows Chanyeol was making a pout, as the taller had gently put him down, feet intact to the dirty tiled floor of their school.

"You'll still help me with my math right?" Chanyeol continued, leaning his chin comfortably on Kyungsoo's shoulder, his eyes making that of a puppy asking for a treat from his owner.

"With that face? Absolutely not." Kyungsoo stressed the last word, before pushing Chanyeol's face off with his small hands, turning around to face the giant who was sporting another puppy-eyed expression at Kyungsoo's statement. The smaller smirked, the end of his lips upturned, a satisfied look on his face.

"Soooooooo, c'mon, you are no fun! I promise I'll bring you one of mom's specially made pasta tomorrow! I just wanted to lift you up like we usually do when we were kids." Chanyeol slumped his shoulders, pout still evident in his face as he trailed along Kyungsoo, the shorter walking a few steps to pick up the book he dropped and to close his locker's door.

"We are not kids anymore, Yeol, and yes, tell your mom to add extra kimchi sauce to it." He said without looking back at his best friend, proceeding to walk forward as classes will start in a few minutes.

Silence followed, Chanyeol didn't reply to that, but instead followed his best friend, prancing towards Kyungsoo's side, draping his long arms on his shoulders.

"It's a weekend tomorrow, you got plans?" Kyungsoo inquired, eyes still focused on the school corridors, not giving Chanyeol a glance.

"Stay at home, play some games – " Chanyeol enumerated, his eyes on the ceiling as if the answer to the question was there to begin with.

Kyungsoo sighed, he pinched the bridge of his nose before looking over Chanyeol to his right. Eyebrows furrowing, Kyungsoo had to remind himself that his best friend's priority was never studying, and it had always been playing games, eating a mouthful of kimchi spaghetti and sleeping longer hours than a normal human being would.

"What I meant was studying and doing some homework because – "

"Come stay for the weekend at home, Soo!" Chanyeol bursted out, making Kyungsoo stop from his walking. Chanyeol's eyes sparkled, as if it was some kind of new discovery he just realized to himself.

". . . . Chanyeol, I – " Kyungsoo looked confused (but his heart was excited at the thought), his gaze at the taller making out a really puzzling look. Chanyeol removed his arms around him, and instead opting to holding Kyungsoo's (little) hands, fitting the empty spaces between his large ones, comfortably squeezing it, a wide grin on his face.

 

It was as though holding hands had always been a thing between them both, a sign of assurance for one another, and Kyungsoo, as much as he wanted the gesture to be more than this, can still live and be contented with it nevertheless.

 

"It'll be fun! Just like when we were kids! We can stay late at night, eat some snacks, watch movies and play some video games and, and, ack. . . aaaaaaa?!" Chanyeol was cut through his sentence when he felt a pair of fingers pinching on his large ears, it wasn't that strikingly painful, but it was enough for him to feel pain like a syringe suddenly being pricked right through him.

"I will be staying for the weekend but you have to study with me first, exams are fast approaching, and I know you forgot about it because it doesn't really matter to you as long as you play your games. We're not elementary anymore, Yeol. If we don't pass junior high, we won't be able to make it past high school, let alone university." Kyungsoo squinted, making another one of his deadly glares at Chanyeol before caressing the taller's ears lightly, a silent apology for pinching him, that is if it was too hard enough. His other hand was still holding on Chanyeol's larger ones, of course Kyungsoo didn't want to let go of that small affection that he was given.

"Awwwww, Soo, but it's a weekend, we can study over the next school days right? Please can we just chill for the weekend?" Chanyeol pleaded, making another pout, trying his best to look like he was going to cry, his eyes watering (He can act, he's done that to his parents countless of times, Kyungsoo is not an exception).

"You study, I stay for the weekend or none at all, your choice, Chanyeol." Kyungsoo retorted, slowly going back to their goal of walking to their classes, his hand still tightly holding Chanyeol's, leading them to their classroom.

"Alright, alright. We study for a little bit, then we play okay?" Chanyeol made a small puppy grunt, earning a small smile from Kyungsoo at the action. Chanyeol found himself satisfied after seeing his reaction, a gentle grin forming on his face.

 

 

"Yaaa, Chanyeol-ah! Let's go the movies after class!" They were nearing their classroom when someone called out for Chanyeol, a high-pitched male voice that seem to came from their right, a group of students walking down the hallway where the laboratories were mostly found.

"Ohhh! Jongdae-ah! Where'd you and the gang go for lunch?" Chanyeol abruptly let go of Kyungsoo's hold, the empty feeling making the shorter a little sad, but he couldn't really complain. He watched silently as Chanyeol pranced his way to whoever was his name again (?) – Jongdae's direction.

It soon dawned to him that the group were also a part of their class, his classmates of course. Kyungsoo barely remembers the names of his classmates, let alone what they looked like, he didn't really make an effort to get to know them that much, only remembering them by acquaintance or because they were in group projects once.

Jongdae looked like a mix of a cat and a jester, with the ends of his lips raised into a smile automatically even without trying, his fringe brushed neatly at the center, slightly curly and dark brown. He was wearing a bright blue shirt, the sleeves were long and colored in yellow and black stripes, and a mischievous smile on his face. He raised an arm, opening his palms, a signal for Chanyeol to high five in, to which the latter happily complied once he had reached Jongdae and his group.

Kyungsoo pursed his lips, eyes silently watching as Chanyeol spoke to the other students, his grip on his algebra book was tight, as if his life depended on it. His expression unfazed, examining the other members of Jongdae's group.

"That Jongdae reminds me of Baekhyun. But Baek's less outgoing and more talkative." Kyungsoo entertains himself with the thought of his other childhood friend, whom he apparently misses dearly (He doesn't know how being less outgoing and more talkative works, but Baekhyun managed to make that possible for some reason).

 

 

He hasn't seen much of the loud mouthed beagle in a long time ever since Baekhyun and his family decided to move to another city because of his father's work.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

"I'll send you letters!" Young Baekhyun promised him, the day when they were about to move out of the house, his mother packing every box they have left into the bunk of their family car.

"You won't forget about me right?" Kyungsoo, who was in tears, and quivering from crying way too much on that day, still gathered a little bit of energy to utter those words, wiping away the snot that have come out of his cute button nose.

"Of course I won't Kyung! You will always be my most favourite person in the world! No one can change that." The beagle enthusiastically declared, reaching out for Kyungsoo to get him into a big tight hug. It took a while for Kyungsoo to calm from his sobbing, but when Baekhyun's warmth sunk in on him, he soon gave in, arms wrapped around the other's back. He leaned his head onto Baekhyun's shoulders, his nose nuzzling on his neck.

"I'm going to miss you, Baekkie. Please come visit if you can." He could feel Baekhyun's body start to shake, an indication that he might've started crying as well. The image of not waking up to seeing Kyungsoo from the other side of the yard made Baekhyun realize how much he is also going to miss his childhood friend, and that since they will be away for a long time, he doesn't know for sure when he will be able to come back to pay a visit.

"You will always be my favourite friend, Kyungsoo. I'll see you soon okay?" Baekhyun embraced on Kyungsoo's shoulder ever so tightly, feeling as though he would disappear from his sight any time soon. Tears were falling down his small cheeks, his eyes closed shut as he tries to seize the moment between him and Kyungsoo for one last time. A few seconds pass and when Baekhyun's mother called out saying it was time to go, he slowly let go of his precious friend, his eyes glistening from the tears he just shed.

"Chanyeol will be there to take care of you from now on, okay? He promised he'll take good care of you, Soo. We'll see each other soon. I'll send letters! I promise!" He gave Kyungsoo a very long kiss in the forehead, brushing the latter's fringe away to avoid hair in the mouth, made a duck face and kissed Kyungsoo with kissy sounds. Kyungsoo laughed at the action, making him giggle loud, stopping him from crying all over again.

 

 

And with a wave of goodbye from the car window, Baekhyun finally drove off with his parents, with Kyungsoo being left standing at the frontyard of his childhood friend's now empty house. Kyungsoo sat there at the stairs on the entrance for a while, letting himself feel the sadness course through him, shedding so much tears, the concept of leaving was too much for a child at Kyungsoo's age of nine. He wasn't even ready to let go of any of his Disney toys, let alone his neighbour and childhood friend.

Time has seemed to pass and Chanyeol had found him hiccupping, making a beeline to sit beside Kyungsoo, cuddling the little one and cooing so many words of comfort so that Kyungsoo would feel better.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

And now with Kyungsoo being in his third year of junior high school, he had realized that Baekhyun completely lost contact with him. The promise of sending him letters didn't come through, and although he did throw a fit at one point, crying to his mom saying that the latter had forgotten about him, his mom was abrupt to assure him that Baekhyun had never forgotten, and that sometimes sending letters from another city was a difficult task, knowing that his childhood friend's parents were very busy people.

"Honey, sending letters are not like those in movies where you ask doves to send them to you, it's pretty difficult knowing that Baekhyun moved in a really far away city, his parents are so busy, they barely even give free time to do anything aside from work." Kyungsoo's mom would often tell him, gently making circles on his son's tofu cheeks for comfort. And with that realization, Kyungsoo thus concluded that he world he lives in indeed isn't one of the fairy tales, and that in the real world, he also learned that he had to make do with what he had, and be content with the things he still has available around him.

 

 

Which was why, he was content with having Chanyeol as his only best friend now.

Too content that he forgot the taller was a big ball of friendliness, and while he only had a mind of having Chanyeol as his only friend, the other had his own eyes on the idea of being friends with almost everyone in their third year class.

It was a little bit vexing for someone like Kyungsoo at first, but in the end he didn't really mind as long as Chanyeol was always tailing behind him, all else didn't matter. He was okay with that. Contented with that even.

 

 

"Let's watch a movie after class! I heard there is this new romance movie that just came out recently." Kyungsoo snapped out of his thoughts when he suddenly heard a different voice, and it definitely wasn't Jongdae's. It was female, and even though she didn't sound anything seductive, Kyungsoo thinks that with her light and kind voice, she could get anyone to be smitten by her, she sounded more friendly than flirty, but that didn't stop Kyungsoo from feeling a little pain in his chest when Chanyeol's reply rung into his ears.

 

"You bet! Mom gave me a little bit of extra for my allowance today, so I can jive into some movie time after classes!" Chanyeol didn't need to make an effort to be loud, his voice was naturally a walking megaphone to begin with.

 

Kyungsoo had the liberty to check on the girl that invited his best friend to a movie – she was decent, she was wearing an oversized white polo, the sleeves reaching to her slender fingers, the front of her polo messily tucked in on her tight blue jeans that accentuated her long, slender legs. Her skin was glowing and white, she didn't even look pale compared to Kyungsoo (He stays up all night studying, hence why he does look pale sometimes), her cheeks radiant in light pink. Her hair was silky and black, as if whatever kind of product she used made magic to her hair, it wasn't messy and it was nicely brushed like the wind never got caught on it ever in her lifetime.

 

 

"If I remember correctly, her name was Bae Joohyun. Irene is a nickname some people call her in class." His eyebrows furrowed, he can feel the small pain in his chest intensify a little, his mouth starting to run dry as he saw Chanyeol's expression. It wasn't the Irene girl that made him feel like this, it was Chanyeol's immediate want to go to the movies (In short his quick YES to the girl) with her –

And the sudden spark of Chanyeol's eyes, and his loving gaze locked to Irene's brown and soft ones.

 

 

"Great! Jongdae and the others will be coming too. I'll see you in class?" Was what Kyungsoo last heard coming from Irene, deciding to just walk forward to the classroom without Chanyeol, looking away from the scene as he paced his steps a little faster.

 

 

Kyungsoo couldn't understand what he was feeling (Of course he does, he just didn't want to put a name on it), he can feel his eyes suddenly brim with tears, there a slight feeling of anger and disgust inside him, but he was assuring himself that the disgust part was not because of Irene, but was purely because of how Chanyeol looked at her as if she was the most precious treasure anyone could have.

He entered the classroom, without sparing a glance at anyone even though he thinks no one even cared that he was there. He proceeded to put his bag gently down on his seat, pretending to shuffle on his belongings (Even though there wasn't a need to because he always comes to school neat and tidy), trying to get his mind off of whatever he was feeling at the moment.

"Jealous? I can't be jealous, I shouldn't be. I am not supposed to be." He decided to put out his notebook for the next subject, placing it gently on his armchair before slumping his head on it, without much force because he didn't want to catch anyone's attention. Closing his eyes, he made heavy inhales and exhales, just to calm himself from the awful feeling. He then placed his arms under his head for elevation because his neck was starting to hurt, his eyes slowly flicker open.

As a child, he used to think that fairy tales were real, and that when he would find the person he would love as he grew older, he thought that their love story would be a linear path, straightforward and fast. What he didn't anticipate was that while princesses in story books and movies were destined to be with the man they first met or they first laid eyes on, this didn't really apply in the world that he was living in. He turned his head to the side, staring blankly at the dirty white wall of the classroom nearby, seemingly feeling empty now that the weird feeling of pain had successfully dissipated after taking in deep breaths.

"I wish you'd look at me that way too." But alas, despite a spur of unwanted feelings for today, Kyungsoo still managed to dream. He still managed to make a small heart-shaped smile, dreaming and imagining that one day Chanyeol would look at him the same way he did with Irene. Kyungsoo managed to still daydream of a moment that someday his best friend would finally look his way and realize that he too had the same harboured feelings for Kyungsoo.

 

 

"I pray for the day that you'd look my way too, Yeol." He gently whispered to himself, hushed, as if the wind is the only one who could hear his silent woes of love.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

"You should also invite your other friend, Chanyeol, you know that – " Jongdae was supposed to finish his statement, but fell short in silence, the smile on his face fading as he stared into the other hallway.

"Hmm?" Chanyeol looked puzzled, seeing Jongdae who suddenly went mum, as if he saw a ghost from afar. He followed the other's gaze, to where he was looking at, only to find out that the sight was indeed saddening, and it made Chanyeol's usual cheery self a little bit disappointed to see that the hallway from afar where Kyungsoo was standing, is already empty.

"Ahh, that's typical for Kyungsoo, usually he just disappears out of the blue if he feels like he's been standing too long, and he is very punctual for classes so yeah." Chanyeol defended, despite him feeling a little bit kicked at the thought that Kyungsoo didn't wait for him to finish. He could've wanted to introduce him to Jongdae and the other's and he wanted Kyungsoo to also have more friends and communicate more.

"It's cool, I was about to say that you should probably invite him to the movies later as well, he's the top of our class right? He seems like a nice guy." Jongdae added, the jester smile back on his face.

"Of course! My best friend is the coolest and smartest person I have ever known!" Chanyeol showed off his widest grin, his teeth all out and white, as if the sun again wasn't as shiny as it already is. Jongdae taking note of how much Chanyeol's eyes twinkled at the compliment about his best friend.

 

 

The school bell rang without delay, and Chanyeol decided to walk with Jongdae and his group to their classroom instead, he enjoyed the other's company, since he was as chatty and full of energy as he, but Chanyeol knows deep inside that despite enjoying his time with his other classmates, he knows all too well that his comfort and the feeling of home would always return to that boy with a heart-shaped smile, the boy that would never stop reprimanding him of his unfinished home works and projects, and the boy who will always have his arms ready for safety and assurance. Chanyeol knows all too well, he could never live without him.

 

He knows he could never really live without Kyungsoo.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

The day ended all in a blur, and when class has finished, Kyungsoo immediately rushed home. After the last subject, which was history class, he immediately packed everything up and quietly left the room without further distractions.

 

 

The only distraction he had was Chanyeol stopping him midway to the exit.

 

 

"Soo, you didn't wait for me back in the classroom, you are so hard to chase after, how can you walk so fast like that?" Chanyeol bent, his palms resting on his knees, catching his breath as he stood beside shorter. He might have the upperhand in running long strides, but Kyungsoo had the advantage of walking faster in his shorter height because it was easier.

"I have to get ready and pack my things, I'll be sleeping at your place later right?" Without sparing a glance, Kyungsoo replied a little bit coldly. He was still feeling a little empty and maybe hurt (You mean heartbroken? But then again, Kyungsoo didn't want to put a name on it) after today's happenings, and he didn't really want Chanyeol noticing any of it, and so he decided to move past Chanyeol, his feet walking another set of faster steps.

"B-But wait, Kyungsoo –" Chanyeol was surprised to see Kyungsoo go, immediately rushing to catch up on him again. When Kyungsoo stopped his tracks outside the school gates, sparing Chanyeol a small glance, and immediately looking away after seeing the kicked puppy expression on his best friend's face.

 

 

"Enjoy watching the movie with your friends, Yeol. See you at home."

 

 

"K-Kyungsoo, w-wait – " Kyungsoo didn't let Chanyeol finish, as if his feet had a mind of its own, walking out of the conversation with his best friend.

When he arrived home, he swiftly asked permission, his parents happily agreed (Of course, it's Chanyeol we are talking about), and he went straight up to his bedroom to prepare for the stuff he needed to bring to Chanyeol's home.

 

 

But that wasn't what he did when he got up to his bedroom.

 

 

When he opened the door, he immediately threw his bag on the side of his study table, then throwing himself on the bed, face flat. He reached out blindly for the large penguin stuffed toy that he had for so many years, hugging it tightly on one side before turning his whole body to the side to embrace more of the soft plushie. He slouched into a C-Shape, his hands holding on to the plushie tightly, his face mushed into the soft fabric.

 

 

He was crying. Kyungsoo was crying.

 

 

"Idiot. You're such an idiot, Kyungsoo." He cursed himself, tears soon wetting the cute face of the penguin, as he tried to sob his pain out for relief. He couldn't understand why things didn't work out as he thought it would, wondered why the world can't just go easy on him and his fragile heart. He just wanted his happy ending, that was all he ever wanted, a really happy and romantic ending. Unfortunately, the world didn't work that way, because if it did, he would've had Chanyeol for himself in a heartbeat now.

 

 

"But yes, the world didn't work that way, Kyungsoo. And it certainly won't bend the rules for you either."

 

 

And so with a heavy heart and unstoppable tears, he let himself feel again, the same way he had when Baekhyun had left him to move to another city when he was younger.

But this time, where was no Chanyeol for comfort. No Chanyeol for soothing words and assurances. It's just him, his weird unwanted feeling (Of jealousy), and his penguin.

 

 

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

 

 

Night time came, and Kyungsoo found himself laying on the bed of Chanyeol's large bedroom. He stared blankly at the ceiling, filled with stars and galaxies that seemed to come from Chanyeol's night light. He was so caught in thought as to what would it feel if someday he was able to go to outer space and step on the moon, when he felt a weight dip on the bed on his left.

"Going to sleep already? Awww, I thought we were supposed to play a game, it's a weekend tomorrow, there's no need to sleep early." Chanyeol whined, sitting on his side of the bed, wearing his Cinamoroll pyjamas, looking at Kyungsoo with a pout on his face.

Kyungsoo couldn't help but think that Chanyeol must've still been stuck in his 6 or 7-year old self for having to wear such a childish type of night clothes. He looked at the taller with utter confusion, his face scrunched up at the sight of the baby blue overalls that Chanyeol was wearing.

"You sure you're not a kid? You look like an overgrown baby still wearing that for god's sake." Kyungsoo commented, and as though Chanyeol felt (Pretended) to be offended, he stuck out his tongue as a reply to the other.

"It's cute! And Cinamoroll is not only for kids, adults also collect stuff like these too, even my Noona still collects My Melody merch as well."

"Yeah but Yoora is a girl and it's totally acceptable, you on the other hand look like your body is 15 and your brain is 5."

"Excuse me, but 15 is still a young age, I am not fit to be an adult yet, and who says I can't enjoy these things anymore?" Chanyeol folded his arms on his chest, stating as a matter of fact.

"Yeah yeah, but you still look like an overgrown baby for trying to wear PJs like that." Kyungsoo waved his hand dismissing Chanyeol's banters.

 

 

"Alright, Grandpa."

"I AM NOT?!"

"Yes, you are."

"AM NOT!!"

"ARE TOO!"

 

 

Suddenly there was burst of laughter between the two, Chanyeol holding onto his stomach and Kyungsoo moving from side to side on the bed. It took a few seconds for them to recover, and when they did, Chanyeol plopped himself to lie down beside Kyungsoo, letting himself in the comforter before he finally settled in.

"I thought you wanted to play a game?" Kyungsoo continued on to staring at the starry ceiling.

"Nah, I find this quite comforting for a bit, so laying down and talking for a while wouldn't hurt." Chanyeol followed suit, his eyes trailing on that one small swirly galaxy that was moving around alongside the planet Saturn.

 

 

They were silent for a while, the quiet wasn't awkward, they were used to it, being like this with each other and it was calming, despite the rush of things that had happened earlier that day.

"Ah, yes. . . . What happened today was?" Kyungsoo thought, he already settled it to himself that he wouldn't think about what happened today too much, but as a very curious person, he couldn't help but dwell back into that thought, reminding himself that he has to be accepting of whatever Chanyeol's decision was, to what Chanyeol likes.

 

 

"Ah, right. I should accept whatever and whoever Chanyeol likes."

 

 

"How was the movie today?" Kyungsoo initiated, snuggling his hands deeper into the comforter, as if it was cold. It wasn't, the air condition's temperature was just at the right amount, and he was wearing a black shirt and grey shorts underneath the sheets. He just felt really small (He already is, I am so sorry), but despite the lack of confidence he still wanted to be a good best friend to Chanyeol, and wanted to know if he had a good time.

"It was fun! The movie was a bit boring though, I am not a fan of an all-romance movie, I'd like it better with a little bit of action or sword fighting." Chanyeol enthusiastically told, making jazzy hands up on the air probably for some effects.

 

"Yeah like Star Wars?"

"Exactly! Like the romance would be more fun if there was an element of whooshing and slashing, or just anything that had action on it!"

Kyungsoo giggled, removing his gaze away from the stars to look at Chanyeol.

"Did you have a good time with your friends?"

"It was, Jongdae is a natural joker, he can joke about anything and everything, you should meet him too though, I think you'll get along with him pretty well."

 

And like always, Kyungsoo listened. Ever since then, Kyungsoo has always been Chanyeol's number one listener, he isn't the type to be someone to speak a million words, but Kyungsoo was the type of person who can listen for hours on end. He shifted his body to face the taller, a more better angle to see how handsome Chanyeol is in his eyes despite the ridiculous night wear he was in.

"Sehun too! He seems aloof at first glance, but he is very friendly! He likes to play Final Fantasy like me as well!" Chanyeol continued on, drowning Kyungsoo into the many stories and things he had done that day, that he probably wouldn't even finish telling all throughout the night but Kyungsoo still willingly and will always listen to them with or without and ending to it.

"And Irene! She is such a sport, who would've thought that she also likes playing RPG games like Pokemon and Legend of Zelda? She is so cool – " Kyungsoo's hearing suddenly blurred out at the sound of her name dropping out of his best friend's mouth. He found himself spacing out again, his mouth slightly agape, his focus now away from Chanyeol and was finding a distraction with one of Chanyeol's FFVII Posters that were hung nicely onto his wall.

"Oh. . . . That's. . . nice." There was a small tone of hesitation at the last word, Kyungsoo tried his best to show a small smile, realizing that Chanyeol had already stopped talking.

"I had a fun day, I wish you were there with me though. It would have been more fun with you in it." Chanyeol turned to face Kyungsoo this time, the stars on the ceiling were not so interesting as it would be anymore. He rested a hand under his head, looking at Kyungsoo with nothing but genuine happiness, he was happy about today's happenings, and Kyungsoo didn't have the heart to ruin that because he was feeling a little bit of pain again (Jealous, he doesn't want to admit it).

"I think you already had plenty of fun without me, Yeol. I'm glad that you had a good time." Kyungsoo replied softly turning to face the taller, trying his best not to sound sad, a heart-shaped smile forming on his face, it didn't reach his eyes though, but he was trying his best to genuinely be happy for his best friend.

 

 

"There it is again, the sparkle in his eyes."

 

 

"Say, about that Irene girl."

"Yeah? What about her."

 

 

Before Kyungsoo could continue, he tried to look down on the comforter, thinking that this must be newly washed and fresh from the laundry, the smell of fabric softener filling in his nose, he made a small gulp at an invisible lump on his throat before asking –

 

 

"You, do you have a crush on her?"

 

 

There was a moment of silence, Kyungsoo was still trying to focus on the comforter, anxiety rising into the pit of his stomach waiting for Chanyeol to reply. And as if the world had betrayed him on that day, and as if him crying on his bedroom before this wasn't enough for the world to just him up all over again, he found himself gazing back at Chanyeol when the taller replied –

 

 

"Yes. I think I do like her."

 

 

That night, Kyungsoo excused himself after the conversation, made a fake yawn, pretending that he was already sleepy, reasoned out that he was tired out from carrying his stuff to Chanyeol's home and bringing not only his clothes and things but also a bag filled with containers of food that his mom prepared for them to feast on. Chanyeol tried his best to convince him to stay up, even mentioning that they were supposed to study that night before Chanyeol could play his video game.

"We could study tomorrow morning. I am just really sleepy. That's all." Was all that Kyungsoo could muster up in his messy brain, before turning his back to Chanyeol. He snuggled into the comforters, making sure that all of himself was inside, and none of his feet or hands were out.

". . . . Okay, Soo. Good night?" As if Kyungsoo had heard a small glint of sadness in Chanyeol's tone, he tried his best to not give in, tried his hardest to not look back and give Chanyeol a hug. He closed his eyes, hands clasped tightly on his side, fighting the urge to look back and throw himself to the other.

 

 

"Night."

 

 

Kyungsoo tried his hardest to shy away the tears that were starting to form, pressing his face more onto the soft pillows, making sure that Chanyeol couldn't see from an angle. His heart was aching, in pain more so, he was levelling his breath, so as to not show signs of crying.

Even if he didn't want to, tears still found their way down to his cheeks, flowing little by little, he felt the same feeling of hurt and disgust again, but this time more extreme, as Chanyeol's words painstakingly kept repeating on his mind over and over.

 

 

"It's okay, Kyungsoo. We have to accept whatever it is that Chanyeol likes. It's okay. It's okay."

 

 

He knows to himself that at the back of his mind, he just wished that he was living Ariel's life, that Prince Eric was just hypnotized into liking Vanessa, and once Ariel's voice was back, he could break the spell and make Eric realize he was in love with him – he wished it was that easy, but alas, Chanyeol wasn't bewitched into falling for someone, nor was he hypnotized into doing so. What hurt the most was that Chanyeol was naturally drawn to like Irene, and the look of Chanyeol not even wincing when admitting his crush on the girl, crushed Kyungsoo entirely.

 

 

And this was the first time, Kyungsoo felt his heart break.

He was heartbroken.

Kyungsoo was heartbroken.

 

 

"I pray for the day that you'll like me too. Maybe. Even just for a little bit."

 

 

Kyungsoo soon let himself be taken into slumber, eyes tired from crying and hoping.