They hadn’t met up anymore after that. For a full month now. While Wendy definitely understood, she couldn’t help but be disappointed all the same. Nonetheless, they had kept messaging. And even if it wasn’t face-to-face, Wendy felt them growing even closer through it. Up until 3am, sharing stories.  Habits. Thoughts. While they shared a job, sort of, the rest of their life was and had been fundamentally different, it seemed.

It had made her understand how Seulgi was how she was. A little paranoid. Simply because she was never alone. A frightening thought. And too much of a price to pay, in Wendy’s opinion.

“Honestly, I’ve never gone out. Not even as a teenager. I didn’t have time. I had to practice. A personal life was just not in the cards for me.”

Wendy felt a little bit hollow reading her words. Because, as much as she had dreamed to be at Seulgi’s level, she was starting to realise she didn’t want any of the other aspects of her life. The cost simply too high.

“That’s messed up. You should have lived a bit. Made some mistakes.”

“I’ve made mistakes,” came the reaction fairly quickly. And Wendy could only smile, realising Seulgi was surely talking about missing out on improving her time by a second using a certain technique or something.

“You know what I mean. How does a teenager find themselves without being allowed to do exactly that? You need to experience to grow.”

Honestly, Wendy wasn’t sure how their topics would always end up being sort of deep. It was just so easy to talk to Seulgi about all this. Like their thoughts were aligned. Their ideas. Even if their view on life was somewhat different.

“Well, since I can’t be who I am, I do what I am good at. It’s easy.”

Wendy frowned, not having expected a response like that. Almost as if she was trying to block off the topic.

“What do you mean?”

This time, it took a while before Seulgi started responding. “Nevermind. Just tired. I’ll get some sleep. Goodnight, Wendy.”

Huh. Usually, their conversations wouldn’t end so abruptly. She must have hit a nerve. Honestly, whenever Wendy was convinced she was starting to get to know the woman better, she’d do or say something wrong. Closing Seulgi up entirely again. It was confusing to say the least.

Frustrating.

Even if she knew she didn’t really have the right to be exactly that. Seulgi didn’t owe her an explanation. Her life story. They were just friends. Which was, honestly, already a giant leap further than Wendy could ever have imagined them being.

And still… Wasn’t it human? To always want more than what you had?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Wendy’s muscles were burning. Not as much as her face. It was the first time she was on the stage. The first time she was holding a silver medal. Even if it was a minor competition, it was a big thing to her. A huge thing. Hell, even her coach had nodded in approval and shot her a small smile. It had maybe freaked her out a bit.

But it would be a lie to say that she wasn’t the most excited for Seulgi’s reaction to it. She had been a bit on edge, her eyes already searching through the crowd. As if she had expected somebody as important as Seulgi to just be amongst normal people.

Her eye kept looking though. The entire day. Expecting a visit in the waiting room like last time. But there was just nothing. No Seulgi. Not even a message. As if she hadn’t even watched the match.

Wendy knew, objectively, she had been under no obligation to, of course. And she knew she’d pretend it didn’t phase her either.  But it did. And she hated how she felt hurt at it.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“What do you mean you’re going home? You got SILVER! We need to celebrate!”

Honestly, at any other time Wendy would agree. Her friend’s enthusiasm for sure infectious. Not today though.

She smiled, shaking her head, “hey, I practised really hard for this! I am exhausted. I deserve some early shut-eye.”

It wasn’t a lie per se. Even if not the main reason.

“Ugh, fine. But then you’ll have to win again so we can get drunk next time, okay?”

Wendy huffed, “deal.”

On her way home, she wondered if that would actually be a thing anymore. After all, more wins meant more fame, right? Would she be bothered going out for a drink? By paparazzi?

Honestly, it was kind of a ed up world, when she thought about it. One she wouldn’t usually want to be a part of. But God, she did love swimming. And doing well? It gave her such a rush. Adrenaline making her body tingle. Also, the money was a nice bonus, of course. Not winning anything for years had left her kind of poor. An understatement.

Wendy buried her face a bit further into her scarf. Even if winter had passed, it was still cold once the sun was setting. Additionally, she found herself maybe also getting a little paranoid; Who was to say she wasn’t being followed home right at this very moment? It was crazy.

Her legs were aching with every step she was taking. Maybe she should have taken Hwasa’s offer on getting a ride home. But she didn’t like to be a nuisance. Even if she knew objectively, Hwasa would never see her as such.

Still, by the time she reached her home, she was ready to get into bed and not leave it for the next 12 hours. At least.

She pushed her weight against the door, entering the hall of the building. She was surprised to find another person there. Wendy was about to give a polite smile and go her way, really, when she recognised the other person.

“Seulgi? What are you doing here?”

“I saw your match! I came to congratulate you!”

Wendy huffed, unable to not shoot a genuine smile at the girl. Even now, still accompanied by a blush. Maybe even more so, now that it had been a while again since they had seen each other. “I’m afraid I am too tired to celebrate. You are invited to come in for some chilling though?” She pushed her key into the door, pushing her weight against it to open it up. Holding it open for the other girl to pass by her.

Wendy was maybe slightly embarrassed as they went up the stairs to get to her flat.

“Don’t mind the mess. I didn’t know I would be getting visitors and I’ve been quite busy practising, so I haven’t had the time to-“

Seulgi’s chuckle cut her off. “Chill. I swear I am not here to inspect your place.”

 “Well… welcome to my tiny safe haven then!” Wendy felt a little shy finally opening the door to her apartment. Surely this superstar was used to something at least ten times the size of her place.

“It’s nice!” She sounded genuine. Even if she suddenly looked so awkward being in here all at the same time. It rubbed off on Wendy quickly enough as well and she self-consciously held onto one of her arms.

“I hope it wasn’t rude of me to just show up like this… You can say if you want to be alone. I won’t take it personally.”

Wendy waved her hand, “don’t be silly. I’m really glad to see you again. It’s been a long time,” she decided in a split-second, “I’ve missed you.” Hoping she wouldn’t accidentally say something wrong again. She held her breath.

“Me too,” came the reaction though. A bit tense. But words spoken without a second thought anyway.

It made Wendy smile.

“Can I uhm, get you something to drink?” She quickly changed the subject. Because what was she doing? What was she expecting? “Now or never. From the moment I sit down, I don’t think my legs will be able to push myself out of my couch again.”

Seulgi chuckled, “then sit down. I got you covered. This isn’t something you celebrate with a coke.” Her hand disappeared in the tote bag she had brought, only to reappear holding onto a bottle of champagne.

“You shouldn’t have.”

“I know. I wanted to. Where do you keep your glasses?”

Wendy chuckled self-consciously, making her way over to the kitchen. “Well, I don’t have champagne glasses. But I have wine glasses. They’ll have to do.”

-

That had done the trick. They had both sat down into the couch. Wendy hadn’t bothered putting on music nor turning on the tv for some background sound. For the simple reason it wasn’t actually uncomfortable anymore.

They had talked about the match, which Wendy realised Seulgi had definitely watched closely again. It was a relief. A relief to… well, find Seulgi still interested enough in her, to keep up with what she was doing. Seulgi had given her even more tips. To the extent where Wendy was starting to feel bad about it, really.

“You probably should stop giving me tips. By the time you start swimming again, I’ll have stolen all your techniques!”

Seulgi huffed, but Wendy saw her falter slightly. “If you want to start swimming again at some point, of course,” Wendy added quickly. It was like walking on eggshells.

By now, Wendy was starting to believe she was starting to get to know Seulgi pretty well. Some parts of her anyway.

“I don’t. But I’ll have to. What else am I going to do, right?” She let out a chuckle but it was forced. Humourless.

It made Wendy speak without thinking. “You can become my coach! I happen to be looking for one and you’ve been doing a great job so far.”

Seulgi just blinked and Wendy wanted to facepalm. Why would a top star like Seulgi be even remotely interested in a stupid job like being her coach?

“That’s…”

“Stupid.”

“A lovely sentiment,” Seulgi finished. Which meant the same thing, right?

Wendy chuckled self-consciously again, opting to just not say anything anymore at this point because wasn’t to be trusted. That was painfully obvious. She wished she could blame the champagne. But it was definitely the stunning woman sitting cross-legged next to her in her couch.

“Give me your legs,” said woman spoke.

“Sorry?” She questioned, just before Seulgi patted her lap.

“As your coach, I need to make sure you remain in top shape. And right now, your muscles are cramped.”

Wendy scoffed, a bit taken aback by this entire interaction. Shy Seulgi asking to… massage her legs, she supposed? It seemed out of character. Even if she knew that woman was speaking out of a practical standpoint. She’d know better than anybody was she was going through, after all. Her body.

So, Wendy forced herself to stop thinking and stop being a coward. She allowed her legs to unfold and hesitantly placed them over Seulgi’s lap. Her hands behind her. Helping her sit up.

Seulgi just chuckled though.