Song Inspo: All The Small Things ~ blink-182

 

Say it ain't so

I will not go

Turn the lights off

Carry me home

NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA NA

 

 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Kai asks while carrying a shivering Beomgyu on his back. They had been clowning around in the park a few blocks from Kai’s house on this chilly winter day and were just simply having fun on what they thought was solid ice. Come to find out, it wasn’t solid and Beomgyu fell right through. Kai was both shocked and amused to see his friend screeching and jumping out comically like a dolphin in some viral video you see on social media. He was completely soaked to the bone.

 

“I’m f-fine, I just need to c-change clothes asap,” Beomgyu says, teeth chattering like no tomorrow. Despite knowing how cold Beomgyu must feel, Kai can’t say it’s the same for him. The feeling of the older’s arms wrapped around him and Beomgyu’s breathing on his neck has his body all warm and tingly. Sure, they’ve been close like this before, but this time feels different, especially after Kai’s noticed he’s been having strange feelings for his long time best friend.

 

Kai can’t pinpoint when it started, but he can’t deny that those feelings keep growing stronger and stronger as time goes. He didn’t understand them at first, chalking it up to him being childish and clingy, just wanting his best friend all to himself as most friends do at certain stages of their friendships. But it was the small things that he started to notice, the way he felt whenever Beomgyu would look at him and smile brightly, the way he felt when Beomgyu touched his arm or knee during a conversation with their other friends. That warm fuzzy feeling whenever Beomgyu would talk to him like he was the only person who mattered in this world.

 

Sometimes there would be a silent moment spent together of them just staring into each other’s eyes and Kai would feel the intense urge to press his lips against Beomgyu’s, but he never had the guts to actually do it. He was scared that if he did his best friend would reject him and never speak to him again. While Kai knows Beomgyu swings the same way as him when it comes to dating preferences, that doesn’t necessarily mean Kai has a solid chance. So he’s kept his feelings hidden, well at least the best he could anyway.

 

Whenever he’d see Beomgyu taking interest in other men, he’d feel that bitter ache in his chest and hoped that things wouldn’t work out between them because he honestly felt like that should be him. Jealousy doesn’t and never suited anyone. There were many times when Kai would get upset and not talk to Beomgyu for days because of it, and it always left Beomgyu lost and confused, wondering what he did to anger his always kind and happy friend. And when Kai would sit down and reflect, he’d feel regretful and guilty for treating him that way knowing it’s only Kai’s fault that he’s never honest with his feelings.

 

Why should Beomgyu suffer through Kai’s mood swings, he doesn’t deserve that. And so Kai had to learn how to accept that maybe he and Beomgyu will always just be friends, as much as he wished that could change, it’s the reality he must deal with. But maybe that wouldn’t be so bad because Beomgyu honestly has been the bestest friend he’s ever had in all his twenty-two years of living on this Earth. He would never jeopardize his relationship with Beomgyu for something as stupid like feelings.

 

He recalls all the fond memories he has of Beomgyu when they first met, how loud and obnoxious they were as a duo, causing havoc and headaches in their friend group. They got along so well at the start, feeding off of each other’s energy and playing well together. It was always like that, there was never a dull moment whenever they were together, even now.

 

When they arrive back at Kai’s house, he runs a warm bath for Beomgyu, collecting a change of clothes for him to change into afterwards. He opts to leave them at the door, but Beomgyu tells him to bring them inside and leave them on the sink. He supposes that would make it easier on him, so he enters, avoiding eye contact the entire time to respect Beomgyu’s privacy. The older simply laughs at Kai’s shy nature all of a sudden, teasing him until Kai rushes out, beyond flustered and leaving Beomgyu to sit there thinking about the small encounter while the water turns cold.

 

For some time now he’s noticed Kai acting differently around him. At first, he thought nothing of it, figuring maybe Kai was just going through a phase… but as the saying goes, “it’s not a phase mom/dad!” so Beomgyu started to observe his friend. And over time, you could say Beomgyu started to fall for Kai’s odd habits, like when he’d rub his belly or when he’d give him warm back hugs. He tried not to assume anything at first, not wanting to misunderstand, but lately it seems Kai’s been more affectionate with him than their other friends. As if Beomgyu is Kai’s favorite, but of course he is, they’ve been best friends for years.

 

But being a favorite only goes so far, and Beomgyu couldn’t help but notice those cliche moments spent with Kai when the two of them would stare into each other’s eyes, no one else in sight, expecting Kai to make the first move but never did. Beomgyu never felt more disappointed than after those perfect Kdrama moments. It’s only now that Beomgyu realizes maybe Kai’s scared of messing up a perfectly good friendship and he doesn’t blame him. Life is confusing like that, never judge a book by its cover but at the same time looks can be deceiving. That’s something Beomgyu’s been struggling to figure out after all this time.

 

To say Beomgyu is a romantic, it’s complicated. He never really saw himself getting into a relationship, understanding it’s a huge commitment that most people struggle with. But he never minded the idea of falling in love, he just didn’t think he’d ever find anyone he could fall in love with, that was until he met Kai. Maybe it took some time, but it eventually happened. All those sleepless nights thinking about the what ifs and if onlys, wondering if the feeling was mutual or if it was all just inside his head. He’s been told that growing up, that he lives inside his head too much and needs to face reality at some point.

 

Perhaps Beomgyu felt like reality wasn’t as exciting as the made up world inside of his head, the world where he has the most control of any and everything that happens. He’s lived many different lifestyles inside that world, but the one thing that never changes is Kai staying by his side through each stage. Their blooming romance is taking just as long in his head than it is in real life, and maybe that’s because being in love with Kai isn’t something he can truly control. It makes sense as you can’t control other people’s feelings, but you can definitely influence them if you really try.

 

When Beomgyu is finished with his bath, he dries off and gets changed, exiting the bathroom with a towel over his head as he approaches the kitchen where Kai is making them some hot chocolate. It seems that Kai hasn’t noticed him in the doorway yet and Beomgyu takes a moment to admire Kai in his natural habitat, grinning when he sees the younger sneak a few marshmallows for himself before closing the bag. So cute. And when Kai tops off the mugs with whipped cream, he sneaks some of that too.

 

“Hey, you,” Beomgyu calls out, startling Kai who nearly chokes on the whipped cream. All Beomgyu can do is laugh as Kai looks at him like a deer caught in headlights.

 

“How long were you standing there!?” Kai asks, pouting as he tries to wipe the cream off of his face. He misses a spot, of course, but Beomgyu doesn’t say anything and approaches him with a loving smile on his lips. He can tell how that makes Kai nervous, but Beomgyu thinks it’s time to change those what ifs into something more.

 

“I saw you eating marshmallows too,” Beomgyu says with a chuckle when Kai gives that guilty look, eyes hiding behind his dark fringe. “They’re not mine, no need to look so ashamed,” he mutters, giving the younger a playful nudge on his arm.

 

Kai struggles to say anything in response, his eyes looking anywhere but at Beomgyu and the older simply pouts, reaching out to hold Kai’s face between his palms. His eyes instantly lock with his and Beomgyu smiles, his thumbs lightly caressing the apples of Kai’s cheeks. The warmth of his face soaks into Beomgyu’s cold hands, and all Beomgyu can think about is wiping that spot of cream on Kai’s lower lip away with his own lips.

 

“Beomgyu?” Kai asks, clearly flustered and confused by his friend’s actions. Beomgyu doesn’t say anything, shaking his head and simply smiling, looking into his eyes until he can feel Kai relax. There’s a small smile tugging at the corner of Kai’s lips, like he understands what this moment means between them. Those feelings are mutual afterall.

 

Kai gently grabs onto Beomgyu’s wrists, guiding them to rest on his shoulders before he leans in, surprising Beomgyu when their lips touch in a short but sweet kiss. To think Beomgyu was going to make the first move, he supposes he took too long. When parting, Kai can see the shocked look on Beomgyu’s face and quickly apologizes if he misunderstood.

 

“No, no, I just can’t believe you beat me to it,” Beomgyu says, locking his fingers together behind Kai’s neck to bring him closer. Kai instinctively holds onto Beomgyu’s waist and smiles warmly. “After all this time, you finally make a move.”

 

“You knew?” Kai asks, giving a sheepish look, unable to hide the stupid smile on his lips.

 

“You weren’t exactly subtle about it,” Beomgyu says with a teasing grin. “But I suppose it worked out in the end. I just couldn’t help falling for you after all that.” He can see the way those words comfort Kai, like he’s not scared of loving his best friend anymore, a sense of relief and happiness evident on his beautiful face.

 

Beomgyu initiates a hug, holding Kai and indulging in the feeling of Kai wrapping his arms around him just as tight. And when they part from the hug, there’s that perfect Kdrama moment again, where they’re just staring into each other’s eyes longingly and lovingly. “Can you kiss me again?” Beomgyu asks softly, looking into Kai’s eyes for an answer.

Kai gives a small nod, initiating another kiss, one of many more to come and they kiss until their hot chocolate is completely cooled off. At least they don’t run the risk of burning their lips, but Beomgyu doesn’t need hot chocolate to keep him warm, not when he has Kai’s love now that could keep him warm for an eternity, together forever, always.

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HUE HUE HUE THEY'RE SO CUTE TT TT

*ask something or say hi~ or don't, no pressure just hang with me and my weather~