“It’s crazy.”

“What is?”

“I think I’m going crazy. Sana is driving me crazy.”

Momo is face-down on the sofa, arms and legs sprawled out like a starfish. She’s been like this all morning and honestly, Nayeon is quite annoyed by it. When asked what the problem is, Momo just groans and thinks it’s a response that people can make sense of.

Soon enough, it becomes clear that it isn’t just Nayeon who feels so.

“Well, maybe if you articulate your feelings properly, we’ll be able to know why.” Jihyo mumbles, eyes not leaving her phone. She doesn’t mean to be snarky or mean but it’s literally what they need. The impatience is only building because she knows exactly what Sana feels. “Didn’t you complain about her being distant? All I see now is her trying to give you affection.”

“I’m just worried, Jihyo. I swear I’m not complaining this time,” Momo frowns.

After movie night, it seems like there was a flip switch or a sudden trigger for Sana’s change – from avoiding and being distant to clingy and affectionate again. Momo is not complaining about it but she is mildly concerned. After three whole weeks of being showered with affection, hugs and sloppy cheek kisses, she can’t hide her worry anymore. Did Sana hear her when she was talking about her feelings that night? The change was almost immediate. If that isn’t the reason then it is cause for concern.

Before the three of them can dive any deeper into the conversation, the sounds of their combination lock being input echoes throughout the living room; it must be Sana and Tzuyu back from their Pilates session. Speaking of, their youngest member seems to have a problem with Momo these days but... well, another problem for another day. Momo gulps at the thought of Sana coming in and with that gorgeous smile on her face, pearly whites flashing and making Momo’s heart race without a lift of a finger. It’s definitely a lie to say that Momo doesn’t think of that goddamn smile once every day.

“We bought lunch for everyone!” Sana grins, holding up a box of pizza and another bag full of snacks. She pretends not to notice the twinkle in Momo’s eyes when they make eye contact and heads to the kitchen. “Our baby bought soju too and no, it wasn’t my idea before you ask!”

Momo practically skips into the kitchen, following Sana’s footsteps.

“Hey, how was Pilates? Do you feel the burn yet?” Tzuyu sits next to Jihyo after greeting Nayeon, uncharacteristically clingy to the older one. She has one arm around Jihyo’s front, playing with the collar of her polo shirt. “Yes and I’m tired, I don’t know how you work out every day and still have that amount of energy.” Tzuyu throws her legs onto the sofa, effectively trapping Jihyo in a hug. “Also, when are you going to visit my parents and try to impress them?”

“Tzuyu!”

Jihyo frantically looks over at the oldest member, who’s minding her own business with her airpods in her ears. She heaves a big sigh of relief when there’s seemingly no reaction from the two in the kitchen, meaning no one heard what Tzuyu said.

“What? You said you were okay to come out.” Tzuyu shrugs, nuzzling her face into Jihyo’s neck.

But you wanted to wait.

 

Momo stands a few steps away from Sana, trying to busy herself with untying the plastic and taking out cutlery for them. She shouldn’t be feeling awkward anymore but here they are again.

“Momoring, can you take these out for me?” Sana asks with a million-dollar smile, handing the other woman a few bottles (of the many) of soju. “I want to drink till I drop today since we don’t have schedules or practice tomorrow.”

Sure, Sana’s cheeky expression would make Momo want to join in on a normal day but they haven’t been normal, have they? She tries so hard to pretend nothing is wrong and everything is dandy but Momo loathes the façade so much. Sana was exactly like that the first three years into debut, always taking everything life throws at her with a smile. Momo might have known her the longest among the members but they don’t get enough privacy or time alone for her to keep an eye on Sana. Her outbursts come unexpectedly and Sana worked through it with the members’ help, but her old self seems to be reappearing.

Momo gently holds onto Sana’s wrist, putting the cutlery and whatnot aside. “Satang... what’s going on with you? Why are you behaving so strangely these days?” She just falls short of asking if Sana overheard her that night, noting the rapid change in Sana’s expression.

“Look, I’m exhausted because of this so I’m going to say this once and never repeat myself ever again.” Sana whispers, vision already blurred with tears. “I think I’m in love with someone who could never love me back... and my heart aches every time I think of her. I have to cope somehow.”

Stunned into silence, Momo’s grip on Sana’s wrist loosens and allows the younger to sneak back into the living room swiftly. Sana’s in love? Which idiot won’t love her back? The most wonderful woman with so many attributes that add up to her personality... how can anyone not love Sana? They should be ing honoured that Sana is in love with them. The more Momo ponders about the revelation, the harder she pounds the kitchen counter. Her best friend deserves the world and more; it should be a national emergency that Sana is feeling so down because of this.

Yet, something confuses Momo again.

Why is there a burning sensation in her chest when she thinks of Sana finding happiness with someone else? Sure, she’s upset that Sana is heartbroken but something else is bothering her... and she needs to find out what it is.

“Momo! Hurry up!”

Much to Momo’s chagrin, Sana is already seated comfortably between both Tzuyu and Jihyo. She can trust Jihyo to keep the woman under some control when it comes to alcohol, especially since Sana is a lightweight who enjoys drinking.

Their lunch isn’t anything spectacular with the exception of their day-drinking, but Momo can’t help but notice certain details that stand out. For instance, why is Tzuyu staring at Jihyo like that? She has a fiery gaze in her eyes and even as she eats, her eyes rarely leave the leader. Jihyo, on the other side, keeps trying to make constant conversation (even making lame jokes) with Nayeon and Sana – a little too desperately if you ask Momo – so she doesn’t have to look at Tzuyu. Nayeon would probably and figuratively kill her if Momo says this out loud but darn, she looks like a classic fifth wheel.

“Unnie, don’t drink too fast.” Tzuyu says, gently taking the glass from Sana’s hand. Sana coos at the youngest and rests her head against her shoulder, “Aw, are you worrying about me? My little puppy.”

“Oh boy...” Jihyo groans.

Momo’s face is flushed, not because she’s high though... she’s annoyed. Sure, Tzuyu is not as closed off as before but she almost never lets any member cling to her like that except Jihyo.

“Satang – SANA!”

The said woman rushes to the bathroom with Tzuyu and Nayeon chasing after Sana, probably ready to hold her hair for her. Momo is left alone with Jihyo, which in hindsight is not exactly a bad thing because the leader knows everything – never mind voluntarily or not.

Jihyo finally looks up from her plate; this talk was going to happen sooner or later, might as well make the most of the opportunity. “What is it, Momo? You’re displaying very mixed signals these days and it’s confusing. Do you want Sana close to you or not?”

That was way too harsh, Jihyo wants to kick herself for it. She knows her mind’s a complete mess because of the situation with Tzuyu but it still is something Momo needs to hear. The constant jealousy is visible in her eyes whenever Sana is giving anyone that’s not her attention. Hell, even Jihyo is on the verge of mistaking Momo’s unknown feelings as romantic ones. 

Momo groans at the straightforward question, grabbing at her hair. “I wish I knew, Jihyo. I miss her so much but I feel weird inside whenever she’s too close to me. Ever since we were promoting TT, my stomach would feel fuzzy and I’d just feel strange, really. I didn’t enjoy that so I just... backed off. I don’t mean to hurt her; she’s literally my best friend, for God’s sake.”  

“Wait, wait. What do you mean when you say you feel strange?”

Jihyo is betting her entire bank account on this narrative: Momo actually returns Sana’s feelings; she just doesn’t know what it’s like to feel butterflies in her tummy. It matches what Sana says to a T, especially the timeframe in which Momo began to shrug off her affection instead of accepting it like she always did.

“Just... weird, I don’t know! She makes me so nervous when she’s near me... but I also want her to keep doing paying attention to me. It just makes my stomach turn and turn and , I’m not even making sense.”

Momo doesn’t have much dating history to speak of – crushes sure, but to feel such strong emotions is a first. It must have freaked her out and all, suddenly being overwhelmed by a sense of discomfort by the person she least expects it from. To make things worse, she isn’t the best person at expressing her feelings either, so it probably seemed logical to maintain a distance from Sana at the time. Not that any of their members are bold enough to ask about uality aloud, it’s pretty ambiguous for some of them and two others…. quite explicit. 

“You know what? It’s whatever. I’m going to check on Sana…”

The main dancer flees before Jihyo can stop her. 

 

zyozyo: maybe this plan is good afterall

zyozyo: i think momo actually reciprocates sana’s feelings

zyozyo: scratch that. i’m CERTAIN of it

 

“Wow, Satang... you’re actually really heavy when you’re drunk!” Momo grunts, holding Sana on her back. She should have known this would happen; Sana didn’t really eat anything, choosing to take shot after shot.

At least she made it to the bathroom though.

Nayeon pulls the duvet up to Sana’s chin, tucking the younger woman in with a sigh. She tried her darn hardest to stay out of this as much as possible but there’s no movement whatsoever. “Momo, you know I care about you and Sana both. I mean this with my whole heart; sort your feelings out because you’re confusing Sana, and it’s not going well. Talk to any of us if you need – it doesn’t have to be me – but do it when you’re ready.”

“Okay.”

Momo sits beside Sana on the bed, feeling like there’s a boulder pressing on her chest. She didn’t think any of the members noticed, perhaps the space between them is becoming a little too big. Hearing Nayeon’s words now though, maybe everyone knew. She leans over and presses her lips against Sana’s forehead, lingering for a while. I’m sorry for confusing you, Satang. I’ll make it up to you soon, I promise. So much for not hurting her best friend... the worst part of it all is even if Sana feels the heartache, she’d put on a smile just to make Momo feel better.

Putting her foot down (literally and figuratively), Momo leaves the room after turning the light off; maybe speaking to Jihyo and Nayeon about this can make things better.

“Hey, Ji – WHAT THE !”

Jihyo all but screams in reply as she pushes Tzuyu off her; she should have figured this would happen, considering her unfortunate luck and all. This is how their relationship comes to light? For goodness’s sake. Tzuyu, unsurprisingly, looks unaffected and more displeased than embarrassed. 

“Momo-unnie, why are you such a er?”

“TZUYU!” 

Both Momo and Jihyo can’t make eye contact without wanting to bury their heads in the ground. Jihyo doesn’t even know what’s worse at this point; being caught in such a compromising position or Tzuyu telling Momo she just blocked her from getting some. Either way, Jihyo knows she has a lot of explai