I don't think I've ever been treated so well by someone who's not just a friend.

Yung nagt-trato saakin nang tama, mga kaibigan ko lang talaga. I think masiyado nga nila akong binebaby. But that's just my friends being themselves. I like that about them.

Given na din naman yung parents ko of course, pero they're a different conversation naman. I think you get naman what I'm trying to say.

It's just na..

No one's ever made me feel so special. So special to the point na I feel like I'm the most special woman in the world. So special na feeling ko, I saved a whole continent to deserve such treatment.

So special na feeling ko ang ganda ganda ko lang. 

No one ever.

My past relationships were always so complicated. So vague and so... fast.

Men only ever pursued me because they only found me beautiful and not because they genuinely liked me. The reason why they all went by in a blur.

I'd considered them flings more than relationships, to be honest.

They never took me seriously.

This one person, however...

She makes me feel so special. She makes me feel like I'm the most beautiful woman in the world. She makes me feel deserving of every good thing. Of every good thing the world can offer.

She treats me so well na minsan na lang iniisip ko, totoo ba siya? Does she really exist? Because treatment like this is too good to be true.

She's too good to be true.

And no one's ever made me feel this way.

Except her.

Karina Yu. 

My manliligaw.

-

Exhibit A

I'm currently in my room, studying for my upcoming quizzes. Exams are coming nanaman kasi so things are quite hectic.

I'm actually about to give up and just go to sleep, pero I don't ever want a bad score in my records. I know I'll regret it tomorrow if I go to sleep now.

Also, hinihintay ko din kasing makauwi si Karina.

Karina's out with her friends tonight. Nagyaya daw kasi ang friends niya from highschool to meet up and maginuman daw. Karina doesn't have any pendings naman so I let her nung nagpaalam siya saakin kung pwede siyang pumunta. She doesn't have to, to be honest, okay na yung ininform niya ako, pero I appreciate the thought

She deserves to have fun naman. Bakit ko siya pipigilan? 

Gusto niya pa nga akong isama, e. I wanted to din naman, pero kasi I have upcoming quizzes so sabi ko sakanya siya na lang. She said na she understands naman daw. 

Pero Karina being Karina, who can't stand being away from me, has been constantly updating me since makarating siya.

Natatawa ako, yet my heart is swelling right now.

The fact na hindi naman ako humihingi sakanya ng updates, pero she voluntary does it... kinikilig ako.

Sobra kong naaappreciate yung thought kasi to be honest, medyo worried din ako para sakanya at baka mapainom nang marami e she brought her car with her. Baka magdrive pauwi nang lasing.

Also because..

Nakakahiya pero kasi, napakahabulin ni Karina. Mapababae or lalaki, naaattract niya and to be honest, I can't blame them.

With the face and body Karina has, normal lang na habulin siya nang mga tao. Mas magtataka pa nga ako kung hindi, e.

And don't get me wrong, ha. I have trust on Karina. Busog na busog ako sa assurance na binibigay niya saakin.

Natatakot lang ako na baka kung anong mangyari sakanya. Inuman yan, and sa bar pa, anything could happen. I can't help but overthink pero I'm choosing to put my trust kay Karina.

Manliligaw ko pa lang si Karina. Hindi ko pa siya sinasagot yet she's been treating me so well. Never niya pa akong sinaktan. She's always so gentle to me. The least I could do is put my trust on her.

Speaking of. 

May text nanaman siya.

8:34 Rina 💙 : Ang ingay dito

8:34 Rina 💙: I miss you :(

8:35 Rina 💙: I love my classmates from high school but I'd truly prefer staying at home with you and watching you study

God. Karina has a way with her words.

8:36 me: Silly

8:36 me: Baka sabihin ng friends mo ayaw mo silang kasama

8:37 Rina 💙: They know naman na I'm talking to you

I smiled. Nasabi saakin ni Karina na kilala na ako ng friends niya from high school. Nakikita raw kasi yung mga posts niya so nagtanong kanina lang. Karina even asked permission from me kung pwede raw bang iconfirm na nililigawan niya ako, which was a gesture na I found sweet.

Although okay lang naman saakin, the fact na nagtanong siya thinking na it might not be okay for me na people know is really thoughtful of her.

But okay lang naman saakin 'yon. I'm proud to have Karina as my manliligaw. I'd go around telling people about it if I could.

8:38 me: Ewan ko sayo hahaha

8:38 me: Go bond with them na!

I waited for her to reply to my last text pero hindi na siya nagrespond pa. Sineryoso na ata yung sinabi kong makipag bond na with her friends.

Which is okay lang naman for me. I told her to have fun naman talaga in the first place.

After a few more minutes of studying, I finally decided to take a rest.

I opened my phone to see if may text from Karina pero wala.

There's one from Ning, though.

8:56 Luningning ⭐️: Girl, guess who I just saw

8:56 Luningning ⭐️: [photo attached]

8:57 me: Hyewon?

Karina's ex.

I am well aware about her. Karina told me about her, and their past. The gist of their relationship is ghinost siya nito. That's where it ended.

Karina was hurt, of course. She was in love with her at the time and wala naman yun saakin. I wasn't in the picture pa back then,  of course masasaktan niya.

But Karina's assured me more than enough. Sabi ko nga, busog na busog ako sa assurance ni Karina. Not just with words, pero pati with her actions. Kitang kita ko kung gaano siya kaseryoso saakin.

I shook my head and looked back at the photo.

It was actually a pretty clear photo. 

I squinted my eyes sa background.

Wait.

It looks... familliar.

Bumalik ako sa convo namin ni Karina and tumingin sa photos na sinend niya saakin. Sinave ko ito and yung sinend saakin ni Ning na photo.

I compared the two and I realized something.

The place Hyewon's in? It's where Karina's at right now.

I swallowed. 

It's not na nagdududa ako. It's just...

The thought na she's within Karina's presence is making me annoyed for some reason. I trust Karina. So much. Pero this girl? Not so much.

I took a deep breath.

Sakto pang si Karina hindi na saakin nagmessage man lang.

9:00 me: Nasa bar ka rn?

9:00 Luningning ⭐️: Yeah. Naev resto bar.

, doon nga. Namention saakin ni Karina yung pangalan ng bar and that was the name she told me.

Calm down, Winter. Ano ba. Bakit ka ba nagooverthink? Parang lumalabas dito na wala akong tiwala kay Karina. I have to calm down.

9:02 me: Karina's there

9:02 Luningning ⭐️: Seryoso? What's she doing here??

9:03 me: Catching up with her hs friends. Have you seen her?

9:03 Luningning ⭐️: No, kakarating ko lang. 

9:04 Luningning ⭐️: Winter, I know you. Don't tell me nagaalala ka kay Karina?

9:04 me: Ning you know well how I trust Karina

9:05 Luningning ⭐️: But?

9:05 me: It's that girl I don't trust

9:05 Luningning ⭐️: Win, come on. Alam mo naman si Karina na patay na patay sayo. Kahit pa lapitan 'yon nito I don't think she'd be bothered.

9:06 Luningning ⭐️: I'll try and look for her. Don't worry so much.

9:06 me: I appreciate that, Ning. Thank you.

9:06 Luningning ⭐️: Welcome bestie :**

I took a deep breath. God, Winter. Calm down.

A few more minutes passed and wala pa din akong narerecieve na message galing kay Karina. Maging kay Ning ay wala akong update. I'm starting to worry and I don't think it's because of Hyewon na. Iniisip ko na baka napano na si Karina. Baka nagdrive na pauwi at napano na.

I breathed out at tumayo muna para pumunta sa kitchen and get myself a glass of water. This is getting me so anxious.

I was holding my phone, hoping to recieve a message from Karina, and nang magvibrate ito ay mabilis kong tinignan.

It's from Ning.

Inopen ko agad ang phone ko para tignan ang message.

9:27 Luningning ⭐️: She's not here, Win. Ni kaluluwa niya wala dito.

.

Kinakabahan na ako. Baka kung napano na 'to. Wala naman akong kilalang friends niya from high school para i-message para sana matanong kung alam nila kung saan nagpunta.

I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself and waited for Ning's reply. She's typing pa.

Saktong pagreply niya naman ay tumunog yung door. Hindi ko na nabasa pa yung message niya because madali akong pumunta sa living room to see kung sino yung pumasok.

To my surprise, it's the person I've been worrying about.

Karina.

What is she doing here? Bakit umuwi na siya agad?

"Karina?"

Karina's eyes were soft. She slowly closed the door behind her at lumapit saakin. Agad niya akong niyakap. Tightly. Putting her face sa neck ko.

"I missed you." I could feel her hot breath on my neck. She smelled like alcohol.

It took me a few seconds to process her presence before I finally hugged her back.

"Why.. why are you here?"

"You don't want to see me?" I could practically see the pout on her lips as she said that. Napangiti ako nang kaunti. She sounds a bit tipsy..

"It's not that.. just na.. parang ang aga mo atang umalis doon? What happened?" I asked, rubbing her back. She kissed my neck before parting from the hug and then she led me to the couch.

Naupo muna siya and she pulled me to sit on her lap. She wrapped my legs around her waist then she wrapped her arms around mine, burying her face on my neck.

"Are you okay?" I asked, rubbing her back still.

"Hyewon was there." there it is. 

So she saw her too.

I swallowed.

"Before you talk, let me muna.." she kissed my neck ulit, a habit she's developed, and then parted from my neck to meet my eyes.

She cupped my cheeks and then smiled softly.

"I didn't leave kasi I was bothered na andoon siya.. I told you, what happened with Hyewon was all in the past. She hurt me, yes, but I'm past that. I don't care about her anymore. Kahit pa gusto niyang magexplain, I don't want to hear it. I'm past everything and have moved on. I like you, and it'll stay that way." she caressed my cheeks, eyes dropping down to my lips.

The butterflies inside my stomach were goinc wild.

"It might sound corny, pero I left because I didn't want you to be worried. My phone died, which is why atat akong umuwi sayo. Maraming tao sa bar, a lot of them were familliar to me. May mga nakita din akong nagaaral sa uni natin, and I know they're well aware of our... of us.. I just.. I didn't want you to know from other people pa na me and Hyewon were on the same place. I didn't want you to worry. I think I even saw Ning there, pero I might just be tipsy." I smiled softly and wrapped my arms around her neck, pulling her to my chest.

"That was Ning nga." 

"Oh.."

"Did she tell you? She knows Hyewon, right? I think she saw her too."

"She did."

She was silent for a while.

"Did I make you worry?"

"Quite."

She lowered her head, "I'm sorry.."

I shook my head and pulled her chin up to meet her eyes. She looked like a puppy na pinagalitan ng amo niya. I couldn't help but smile.

"I admit, I was worried. Not because iniisip ko na magkikita kayo and may mangyayari or anything, I was just worried about her. Given your past, I don't trust her that much. She left you out of the blue, I thought she'd bother you or something." 

"Even if she did, I don't want anything to do with her anymore." I smiled. I know.

I pulled her closer and kissed her forehead, "I know. I trust you, Karina."

Karina sighed and it was out of relief, "Thank you for trusting me, Win. I think I've made this clear many times but I don't care, who's counting? Even if takes me a hundred times to get it across, if it means na hindi ka magaalala or have second thoughs about this.. I'll keep telling you this; I'm serious about you, Winter. About us. Nothing could stop me from pursuing you kasi sigurado ako. Ikaw lang talaga, Win."

And I've never heard words more assuring than this.

-

Exhibit B.

"Oh and we can go to the arcade! 'Diba you're always bragging about your skills sa claw machine? Heh! Test natin mamaya!"

"Oh and then we can—" words faded into a buzz. Winter couldn't focus at anything else but at Karina, who looks so radiant and happy talking about their date later.

She looks so determined and happy about their date later. Winter didn't have the heart to tell her na malapit na ang sunod na class nito.

She looks so cute.

Winter doesn't think she could ever shut up about the way Karina glows when she's talking about the things she's passionate about.

And the fact na isa si Winter sa mga things na 'yon...

Nakakakilig lang.

"I've always wanted to try their macha latt— Win, are you listening?" Winter snapped out of her thoughts when Karina called her.

Winter blinked furiously, a bit embarrassed, 

"Oh, uh, I'm listening, yes, go on."

Karina raised a brow, the corner of her lips quirking up, "Yeah? What was I saying then?"

Winter pursed her lips and her shoulders slumped, "Fine. I was distracted."

"Iniisip mo siguro lalake mo."

"Wag kang magsisimula ng ganyan kung ikaw lang naman mapipikon." Winter chuckled and umayos ng upo niya. Karina rolled her eyes.

"Hmp. I was talking about our date."

"Yes, rinig ko nga. I'm excited for later." Winter gave out a soft smile. "Baka napipilitan ka lang, e.." pangangasar pa ni Karina.

"Nurse, she's awake."

Napatawa si Karina sa sinabi ni Winter. Ang cute lang kasi she makes it sound so expensive.

"Just kidding. I'm excited din, Win. Baka after nito sagutin mo na ako, e." Winter grinned.

Malapit na.

-

"Win! Where are you going?!" Tawag saakin ni Ning pero dirediretso akong naglakad, hastily wiping my tears that kept falling.

"Win, ano ba!" I heard foot steps catching up to me kaya mas binilisan ko, not minding na halos madapa na ako sa bilis ng paglakad ko.

Hindi na natigil ang pagdaloy ng mga luha ko, pati damit ko ay nababasa na because it's running down my neck.

I heard Ning's voice getting louder kaya I fastened my pace even more, pero nagulat ako when hands gripped my shoulder forcing me to turn around.

"Win, ano ba?! What's with you?! Bakit hindi mo ako— wait, are you.." her eyes softened almost in an instant, "Are you crying?" and then she pulled me into a hug.

I cried even more.

I didn't have the strength to hug her back. I just felt too weak.

"What happened, bub? Bakit ka umiiyak? Sinong umaway sayo?" on normal days, siguro tatawa ako dahil sa pagkasabi niya ng words niya, making it sound na parang bata ako, pero today I just can't find it in me to laugh, not even smile.

Ning rubbed my back and waited for me to calm down. She then parted from the hug and looked me in the eye, wiping my tears away.

"Anong nangyari? You know you can tell me anything, Win."

I gritted my teeth and looked down. Just finding the courage to let the words out of my mouth pains me. Hindi pa nga and yet it's already leaving a bitter taste on my mouth

Ang sakit sakit.

"Win?" she softly called, her voice waiting. Kahit hindi ako sakanya nakatingin, I know that she was looking at me, patiently waiting for an answer.

I took a deep breatbh before speaking.

"I failed a test, Ning."

We fell into silence.

And then slowly, Ning pulled me into another hug.

"I'm sorry." she whispered. Ning knows just how important my studies are to me. She's seen me cry and have breakdowns because of it. She's witnessed me go through so many things just to keep getting the grades I aim for so she knows just how this pains me.

"I'm proud of you, still." I closed my eyes, remembering the grade written on the paper returned to me. Nanghihina ako. Naninikip ang dibdib ko and my throat feels blocked.

I slowly parted from the hug and gave her a smile, "Thanks, Ning. But I'd like to be left alone muna sana, if that's okay." I looked away. Hindi ko ata kakayanin na tumingin sa mga mata niya ngayon. 

"I understand. But please, Win. If kailangan mo ako, a phone works two ways, yeah? Please, contact us." she gave me a tight lipped smile. I know she's worried.

"I will." and then I turned around and walked away from her. Feeling weaker by the minute.

Siguro, if someone knew of my situation, they'd say stuff