Before long, Jongwoon has been in this fake marriage with Cho Kyuhyun for almost a year already. After the break-in that time, Jongwoon used his coquettish charm and convinced the white hacker to move their house to where the agency secretly prepared. His naive husband didn't suspect a thing and happily packed their luggage to go to the new house— a small, two-story house usually used for a witness protection program. It was located in a residential area at sub-urban, very easy to detect a new or unwelcomed face. The agency put in more resources and effort after the mistake last time. Jongwoon also acted with more cautiousness and stuck even closer to his husband's side (much to Kyuhyun's joy).

However, no hitmen ever attacked them again.

According to their spy in the underworld, Cho Kyuhyun's bounty was suddenly removed not long after the attack and it never came back. Heechul hyung told him jokingly that no hitmen wanted to see him having with Kyuhyun but both of them knew that something undetected by them is going on. Nevertheless, their concern was put aside when Jungsoo hyung caught wind of the terrorist group when it finally made a move. Apparently, they turned their attention to other hackers, probably in an attempt to forcefully break through Cho Kyuhyun's codes. So, his agency changed the focus of the mission to locating the terrorist group instead. Meanwhile, he was ordered to stay by the white hacker's side just in case of emergency.

For that reason, Jongwoon miraculously has been living a peaceful life with his husband. Nothing changed much between them. Kyuhyun (somehow) still believed that he is a woman and his secret is still safe. Although he already ran out of ideas or excuses to use when they had without revealing his true gender. So, he started to abstain from instead. He thought that the erted nerd wouldn't be happy and it might affect their marriage. However, Kyuhyun actually indulged him and no longer whined for y time. On the other hand, the number of kisses, hugs, and "I love you" had increased tenfold and Jongwoon could no longer lie to himself.

He loves Kyuhyun and wants to be with him.

Still, Jongwoon never said anything about his true feelings and kept up with the perfect-wife mask. After all, this marriage is just an illusionary bubble waiting to burst. The person whom Kyuhyun loved was just an act that he put up for the sake of the mission. Kyuhyun would be disgusted by the truth and it was inconceivable for Kyuhyun to fall for the real him. Every day, Jongwoon repeated those hurtful sentences to himself as a reminder to never hope for the impossible. Right, just bask in this temporary happiness and don't wish for anything...

Despite the reminder, Jongwoon's rationality still lost to his selfishness when it came to Little Lee Donghae.

**********************************************

It was another ordinary day just like the other days. Kyuhyun took him out on a romantic date and they spent a joyous day together. On the way back home, they drove past a community playground and Jongwoon noticed a little boy sitting alone on a bench. At first, he thought the lonely boy was just waiting for his guardians so he didn't pay attention. However, he still saw the boy sitting by himself on a day when they went home late. Half-curious, half-worried, he dragged his husband to join him at a cafe near the playground to observe the little boy and approached him when no one came to pick him up even though it started to snow. Jongwoon kneeled down before the short and thin boy and smiled warmly.

"I'm Jong—, cough, Yesung noona. What is your name and how old are you?"

"...Lee Donghae. Seven."

"Hello, Donghae-ah. What are you doing outside alone on a snowy day? What about your parents?"

"... Don't have. No parents. No family. Just Donghae..."

The boy's saddened voice squeezed his heart. He used to be an orphan too so he perfectly understood the boy's feelings. Jongwoon smiled fatherly and extended his hand toward Donghae. When the boy didn't avoid it, he gently patted the boy's head and noticed that Donghae wore a small glass pendant on his neck. The clear liquid inside the transparent fish seemed to mirror the boy's forming tears.

"Where do you live then? Won't the adults who take care of you be worried if they can't find you?"

"No one cares about me... They won't know that Donghae runs away. Never knew... A-And I hate that place... The bigger kids like to hit and push Donghae around..."

Tears soon welled up in the little boy's round eyes and Donghae threw himself at him.

"Please take Donghae with you and be my Papa and Mama!"

"Donghae-ah..."

Thinning his lips, Jongwoon looked up at his husband and his heart broke into pieces when Kyuhyun calmly shook his head. Now that he thought about it, Kyuhyun never once brought up the topic of having kids with him. Could it be that the hacker didn't like children? But... He looked back at Donghae and his heart ached when he saw big tears falling from the boy's eyes. Logically, he knew that he should agree with his husband and send the boy back to the orphanage. Regardless of Kyuhyun's opinion, he is currently on an undercover mission so it would be stupid to add a new factor that the enemy could use to take advantage of him, not to say that it would be dangerous for Donghae too. His mission is too important to risk ruining it with his personal feelings. Yet he couldn't shake off the image of the lonely boy which seamlessly resembled his own circumstance in the past. If Jungsoo hyung and Heechul hyung hadn't adopted him, he would still be waiting for someone to pick him up just like Donghae... Making up his mind, Jongwoon carried the boy in his arms and stood up to face his husband. He cautiously reached out to the larger hand and squeezed it.

"Kkuru... Kyuhyun... I know it's too sudden and I should consult with you first, but, I've never asked for anything before... Just once... Can we adopt him? I want to build a family with you..."

"..."

The taller man didn't say anything, just frowning at the little boy who was still sobbing. Jongwoon's heart dropped in fear for a split second when his husband slowly pulled his hand back. However, Kyuhyun actually put his arms around both of them and smiled warmly.

"If that's what you want, baby. We're a family now~"

Kyuhyun kissed his cheek and also kissed the boy's head. For the first time in his life, Jongwoon felt his chest warm up to the point that he wanted to cry. His farfetched dream of having a lovely family that he once had quietly reformed its shape in his mind. But instead of a faceless man and a faceless child, he saw Kyuhyun and Donghae smile at him while calling him to join them. The warmth in his chest finally exploded and he sniffled on his husband's shoulder. Meanwhile, Donghae basically bawled his eyes out and hugged both of them while shouting "Papa!" and "Mama!" repeatedly. Kyuhyun calmly coaxed him and the child with his gentle voice and strong embrace. The hacker kept switching between kissing his head and their child's head until they stopped crying. Jongwoon managed to pull out a big smile despite his reddened eyes and also kissed both his husband's and Donghae's cheeks to show his feelings.

Thank you for becoming his family and making his dream come true.

.

.

.

After adopting Donghae, Jongwoon spent some time convincing his agency to not drop him off the case. By the regulations, he acted out of the plan and arbitrarily took an action that might hinder the mission so he should be dismissed due to unprofessionalism. However, he countered that it would waste more time and resources to place a new agent beside Cho Kyuhyun than let him continue. In the end, his adoptive brothers slash superiors used their names to guarantee his success, and Jongwoon swore to never let his brothers and family down. Plus, his hyungs managed to catch one of the terrorist group's minions and currently interrogated them to dig up their plan. He believed in Jungsoo hyung's and Heechul hyung's ability to "nicely" gain intel from enemies so he knew that this mission is approaching a final stage.

Therefore, he dedicated most of his time to spending it with Kyuhyun and Donghae before he had to leave.

*********************************************

"Donghae-ah, we're going to an aquarium today! Are you excited?"

"..."

"What's wrong, Little Guy?"

"O-Oh! Nothing! Yes, Mama, Papa, Donghae is veryyyyy excited!"

Although the boy said that with a smile, Jongwoon could tell from his experience in the field that Donghae hid something from them and felt guilty about it. It has been a few weeks now since the family welcomed a new member. Today, they are going to an aquarium that their adoptive son has been wanting to go to. So, he didn't know what could cause the boy to be so nervous. Apparently, his husband also shared his suspicion as Kyuhyun frowned subtly at the absentminded boy. Still, Jongwoon shrugged off the uneasiness and continued eating breakfast. However, just as he and his husband were about to drink the orange juice, Donghae abruptly stood up.

"No!!! Mama! Papa!! Don't drink that!!"

While he was still processing that warning, Kyuhyun already snatched the glass out of his hand. Immediately after that, he got a message from Heechul hyung alerting him that, according to the intel gathered by the interrogation, the terrorist group sent a spy to deceive them and planned to forcefully take the white hacker after drugging them. Jongwoon snapped his head to look in disbelief at the little boy who was sobbing. He only noticed just now that the clear liquid in the fish pendant was gone. Like a chain reaction, he also received a notification from a lookout that they spotted a suspicious minivan driving into the community. The attack on other hackers was only to divert their attention!

"I-I'm sorry... T-They told Donghae that they'd find p-parents for Donghae if I just did as they told... B-But! But Donghae likes Mama and P-Papa and doesn't want to lie... Hic!"

"Donghae-ah..."

Jongwoon was beyond furious. How dare those scums take advantage of a child's desire to have a family!!? However, he didn't get to ask their son for more details as Kyuhyun picked up Donghae and turned to him with a serious expression that he didn't know the erted nerd had it in him.

"We can comfort him later. Now, we've to get out of here before they arrive. Let's go, Jongwoon-ah."

"What? Wait, what did you—"

While he was stunned and speechless, his husband who felt like a stranger than ever took out a gun from a hiding spot that only he should know of and led him to the garage. Kyuhyun calmly made him and their son sit at the back and even fastened a seatbelt for them, before jumping in the driver's seat and speeding out of the community. However, as soon as the car turned into a main road, a suspicious black minivan quickly chased after them. The hacker frowned and increased the speed in an attempt to shake off the pursuer, all the while comforting Donghae who was scared. While everything happened around him, Jongwoon sat frozen in his place feeling conflicted. His husband whom he thought of as a fool turned out to be the opposite and knew everything about him and the mission from the beginning. His adoptive son was also a spy sent by the enemy (although it wasn't the boy's fault). In conclusion, this whole sweet and warm family was nothing but a fraud through and through. The ironic situation was so funny that it forced a quiet scoff out of him.

BOOM! SCREECH!

"Papa!!"

"Hold on tight!!"

A loud explosion noise followed by the car skidding and swaying snapped him out of his thoughts. He knew without checking that one of the tires got shot and exploded so Kyuhyun lost control of the vehicle. Despite that, his husband still managed to drive off the road and parked the car safely. Knowing that the enemies might catch up soon, he took the gun ready to fight but found out that he couldn't unlock the seatbelt restricting his torso and thighs unusually firmly. They left in a hurry so he didn't bring any pocket knife with him. On the other hand, the brown-haired hacker easily unfastened his and leaned over to the back seat to smile affectionately at them, and Jongwoon had never felt immensely scared like this before; especially when Kyuhyun ruffled Donghae's hair and kissed him on the lips.

"Kyuhyun... What are you doing?"

"It's me that they want, not you and our son. Be safe, Jongwoon-ah, Donghae-ah."

"Papa!!! No!!! Don't leave us!!!"

"Are you crazy!? Stop!! I told you to stop!!! CHO KYUHYUN!!!"

No matter what they said, Kyuhyun ignored it all and ran off in the opposite direction of the car. Jongwoon desperately tried to take off the goddamn seatbelt and panicked when he saw the black minivan driving to where the white hacker went. Unfortunately, the seatbelt refused to give in and he was forced to accept the truth that he failed the mission.

He couldn't protect the target and the man he loved.

*******************************************

"Let me join the rescue operation too."

"The answer is no and you know that. You're operating under your personal emotions. It could cloud your judgment and get some of us killed."

Jongwoon wanted to retort but he knew that his superior was right about it. Most importantly, this mission failed precisely because he let his heart lead his reason. If only he didn't fall in love with the target and foolishly wished to build a family with him, the situation wouldn't be this critical. Still, he could neither turn back time nor deny his own heart. So, he must do everything in his power to fix it.

"...If you don't let me join, I'll go there by myself and probably die in the process."

"Kim Jongwoon!! Are you threatening me? Your superior and your brother!?"

"Yes, Jungsoo hyung, nothing can stop me from saving my husband Kyuhyun, not even you."

Truth be told, he was a bit scared because he really loved and respected his brothers and didn't want to disappoint them. Despite that, he would never give up on the man he loved. Jongwoon looked up to bravely meet the furious gaze of his boss slash adoptive brother but Jungsoo hyung didn't back down either. In the end, Heechul hyung stepped in to intervene.

"There, there, stop it, both of you. No need to get all tense up before the mission. Jungsoo-ah, you go ahead and get the preparation done. And you, Rabid Dog, you must stay here whether you like it or not!"

"But—!"

"No but!!"

Heechul hyung not so lightly flicked his forehead while Jungsoo hyung left after giving him a concerned gaze. Jongwoon sighed irritatedly. He thought that he might be able to convince at least Heechul hyung but now all of his hope was gone...

"... I'll stay here and wait with Donghae-ah."

"Good. The last thing I want is you following us fifteen minutes later on a secondary route. And I most definitely didn't want to see you stealthily sneak into the hideout through the back entrance. Not to say that you're going to get into big trouble if you break our order and rescue the target in twenty minutes. Aish! Just imagine it makes my blood pressure rise!!"

"Heechul hyung... Thank you!! I won't let you and Jungsoo hyung down!"

"What are you talking about, brat? I have no idea at all."

The older man shrugged and left after casually waving at him. Jongwoon didn't waste any time and headed to his room in the headquarters to prepare for the stealth mission. He changed his clothes into an obscure and flexible one and strapped hidden weapons on his body. While he was checking a pocket knife, Donghae happened to wake up and teared up immediately, seeing that he was about to leave too.

"Mama... Are you going to leave me too? Because Donghae is a bad boy...?"

"No, dear, I'm just going to get our Papa back. I promise I'll come back soon."

Jongwoon smiled warmly and spent time coaxing his adoptive son to sleep again. After that, he waited for fifteen minutes as Heechul hyung hinted and headed to the location of the hideout by himself.

********************************************

With most of the minions busy fighting the rescue team at the front entrance, Jongwoon managed to stealthily sneak inside through the back entrance. There were two armed men guarding the door. He hid in a bush patiently and waited for one of the enemies to wander off in boredom, before sneaking up behind the remaining one and slit their throat. Then, he used the dead body as bait to distract the other guard who came back and quickly killed them too. Jongwoon snuck into the abandoned factory and stayed in the shadow as he checked the place's blueprint (secretly downloaded from the headquarters). After narrowing down the possible areas, he set off to find Kyuhyun as soon as possible. He stuck close to the wall and never left the shadow as he nimbly navigated the old factory without being detected. There were many rooms but he only needed to find the one with the most guards.

Finally, he arrived in an area where many men equipped with firearms were patrolled. This must be where they keep the hostage. Fortunately, the moonless night and lack of light sources in the factory granted him enough freedom to move around. Eventually, he reached the last hallway where he was confident that Cho Kyuhyun was taken. Knowing that he didn't have much time left before Jungsoo hyung found out that he was gone, Jongwoon decided to take a risk and staged a surprise attack. He shot down the lights above and relied on his memory of the terrorists' location to quickly get rid of them one by one with a knife through their throats, picking up one of the auto rifles after he was done with them. Kicking the door open, he threw a corpse into the room as bait for the bullet rain and a distraction while he rolled forward into the room and hid behind a pillar. With years of experience and training, he calmly shot down the terrorists until only a man was left.

"Throw the gun away and come out if you don't want this guy's skull to get blown!"

Jongwoon flinched and bit his lip in irritation at himself. He wasn't fast enough to kill all of the terrorists. He made a mistake and put Kyuhyun in danger again. Without hesitation, he dropped the auto rifle and kicked it away as he slowly came out with two raised hands. His heart also dropped when he saw that one side of the brown-haired hacker's face was very swollen, probably from a punch or a gun slap. The last surviving terrorist had their gun pressed on Kyuhyun's temple so he didn't dare to move. However, the enemy's threat didn't scare him as much as the way the white hacker looked at him. Why? Why did Kyuhyun still look at him so affectionately...?

"That's right. Don't move! You government dog—!"

When the terrorist pointed the gun at him, Kyuhyun suddenly threw his captor over his shoulder onto the floor. Jongwoon didn't miss the golden opportunity and lunged to grab the auto rifle, shooting the enemy just in time to make their bullet miss the white hacker; grazing his arm instead of hitting the chest. After the last enemy was down, Jongwoon suppressed his instinct to check on his husband and left to inspect the hallway, as well as messaging Heechul hyung that he had secured the target. When he returned, he found Kyuhyun limping toward a table and almost tripping. He rushed to help the taller man and carefully lowered him onto a chair, belatedly noticing that one of the man's legs seemed dysfunctional.

"What did they do to you...?"

"Ouch... They slapped my face with a gun after I ran my mouth and broke my leg when I almost escaped. It hurts like hell! Baby, aren't you going to kiss the pain away~?"

"What is their reason for kidnapping you? What did they want? Who is the leader and did you meet them?"

"Calm down, baby. I'm your husband, not a criminal to be interrogated. Though I won't mind being your prisoner of love forever~"

"Stop that, will you? And answer my questions."

"Hot and cold, eh? You're y either way~ As for your questions, baby, I'm transferring undercover agent list to the leader, Nikolai Dostoyevsky. He wants to find the moles in his territory."

"The leader of the secession group... I reckon that you have a good reason to continue sending the data, knowing that you're putting our agents in danger? Or do I have to knock you out and break this laptop?"

"You need a good bait to catch a big fish. Did you know that data transferring works both ways? While the guy is receiving the data, I'm also tracking his location, and... There he is!"

Kyuhyun beamed like a student getting first place in an exam as he showed a beeping red dot on the screen— the terrorist leader's location. Jongwoon immediately forwarded the data to his superiors, no longer trying to hide his escapade. He knew that his hyungs and the higher-ups could handle the rest of the mission. He had already saved the white hacker and passed on important information. So, he had no reason to be here anymore. Jongwoon turned his back to the other man and made to leave. However, Kyuhyun grasped his arm and forced him to look back. Although his heart ached so much at the sight of heartbreaking Kyuhyun, he still maintained an aloof mask.

"Jongwoon-ah... Are you still upset that I knew the truth all along but never said anything? I swear that I never wanted to deceive you! I just... I don't want you to leave..."

"Rest assured, Cho Kyuhyun-ssi. I couldn't have possibly got upset at my mission target."

"Cho Kyuhyun-ssi? What's it with that cold and distant name? Jongwoon-ah, am I not your dear husband?"

"If you know that everything is for the sake of the mission, then you should know that this marriage is invalid too, right? There's nothing between us."

"Liar! Our marriage might be fake but our feelings are definitely real! Kim Jongwoon, I love you whether you're a woman or a man!!"

Jongwoon almost flinched but held back just in time. His heart screamed loudly that he also loved Kyuhyun and only ever wanted them to have a happy family together. However, the thing that came out of his mouth was the exact opposite of what he truly felt.

"I'm sorry if I lead you to believe otherwise but I never once love you, Cho Kyuhyun-ssi. I was only faking it for the mission."

"No! Jongwoon-ah, I know you're lying! You always avert your eyes when you're lying or feeling guilty—"

Jongwoon yanked the hacker's collar and brought their faces so close that their breaths tickled on their skins. He looked into the shaking brown eyes where tears started to well up and uttered the cruelest sentences that killed him alive.

"That's right, I was lying. The truth is, I found you to be extremely disgusting with the way you only think with your . Whenever we had , I wished I could slit your throat and peeled off the place where you touched. Actually, saying that I hate you is still an understatement. I despise you. I abhor you. You and your delusional fantasy probably didn't know how relieved I feel, knowing that this mission is finally over and I won't ever see your face again."

"No... Jongwoon-ah, I know you love me too... Your heart and your eyes can't lie. Don't do this. Don't hurt yourself and both of us... Don't leave... Ouch!"

Jongwoon ignored his husband's teary plea and pushed him back on the chair. He also took off the wedding ring and threw it at the man. It bounced off the taller man's chest and rolled down on the dirty floor as he turned around to leave. Kyuhyun tried to stop him but tripped on his bad leg and fell to the floor. He flinched visibly and almost turned back to help the injured hacker. However, he bit his lip hard enough that blood seeped out and forced his legs to step forward, leaving the man he loved to sob on the floor, along with his broken heart that probably could never heal again. With his chin lifting high, he walked past other agents and left the factory to stand in the open, craning his neck up to look at the dark sky until his neck hurt. After a while, he felt a gentle pat on his shoulder, followed by Jungsoo hyung's soothing voice.

"...Cho Kyuhyun passed out, probably from the pain and the heartbreak. He'll be treated with the best of our capability."

"Thank you, hyung... I'll secretly visit him after the treatment."

"Are you sure that you don't want to be with him?"

"No, I'm fine and this is for the best."

"You're lying again, Jongwoon-ah."

"...How did you know?"

"How long have we been your brothers? We know you always look up at the sky when you feel bad for lying so that tears won't fall."

Jongwoon pursed his lips as tears still trickled down his face regardless of his effort. When he felt another pair of hands ruffling his hair affectionately and saw Heechul hyung standing at the other side of him, he finally looked down and cried his heart out.

He had done it, ruining his dream and his love with his own hands.

********************************************

Author's note:

Happy Sunday with a knife but hey I warn you in advance through the chapter title. Aren't I generous? 😎🔪

Every lie eventually comes out to light but our poor Agent Kim's just happened in the worst possible way :(

The more you love someone, the more afraid you are of losing them so Jongwoon decided to walk away. But is Kyuhyun really someone who would let his beloved wife go? Find out and cheer for the husband to bring his wife back in the next and last chapter of this story!

Take care and love you!   <3