Irene opened her eyes slowly, then immediately shut them again. She wasn’t at all ready to start the day after staying up so late last night. She stretched out in all directions with a little gasp, her limbs splayed to their maximum length.

“Ow-” Seulgi mumbled sleepily as she was hit square in the face by Irene’s hand.

Irene gasped again, retracting her hand and almost falling off of the bed. “Seulgi??”

Seulgi raised her disheveled bedhead, her eyes two narrow slits, before she realized the blurred figure she was trying to resolve was Irene lying there beside her. Her eyes shot open as she gave Irene some space. “Huh? What are you doing here?”

“Me? What are you doing here?” Irene countered.

“This is my bed!” Seulgi replied, then quickly looked around, confirming her statement. Why was Irene in her apartment? And in her bed?

“Wait,” Irene said, sitting up as she held her head, trying to think. What happened last night?

“Uh, Irene-”

“Hold on,” Irene insisted. They had decided to go to Seulgi’s place… and they watched a movie…

“But, um…”

“I said wait-”

“Okay, but just let me…” Seulgi reached over and pulled the covers up over Irene making her slightly more decent than she had been moments before.

Irene glanced down at herself, pulling the covers away slightly before hugging them tight around her chest. “What the-!”

“I didn’t look!” Seulgi placated, though the veracity of that statement was dubious given how red Seulgi had become.

“Good… don’t,” Irene said breathily as she carefully left the safety of the blanket to begin the hunt for her clothes. What happened last night? Her mind was screaming, her heartbeat hammering in her ears as she couldn’t help feeling like… they had done something.

But why couldn’t she remember?

Had they been drinking?

Her clothes were thankfully in a small pile on the floor beside the bed, and she wasted no time getting dressed.

Seulgi had obediently turned over and was staring at the wall, but hearing Irene zip up her pants made her ears burn. Why was Irene here? Was this a dream? No, if this were a dream, Seulgi was certain Irene wouldn’t have jumped out of bed so quickly. She waited another moment before she thought it might be safe and rolled onto her back.

“So…?” Seulgi tested.

Irene flinched and didn’t turn to face her. What should she say? The implications were very clear, but why didn’t Irene remember any of it? “We…” Irene paused. Seulgi held her breath, silently begging Irene to continue. Anything was better than the silence. “We must have had a lot to drink… last night,” Irene finally finished, her voice trembling. How could she have let this happen? What was she thinking? They’re colleagues, they’re in the same group! How could she throw it all into jeopardy like this?

Seulgi didn’t know what to say, but it was obvious Irene was in distress. “Maybe,” she forced out. She truly didn’t recall. She didn’t feel like she had had a lot to drink, but… “Maybe… nothing happened?”

“Yeah, you’re right…” Irene said, her voice full of misgivings. She finally risked a glance at Seulgi, noting how confused she looked. “Maybe we just… uh…”

“Exactly!” Seulgi picked up. “So uh, now it’s your turn to turn around.”

“Actually, I think I’ll just um, I’ll just… go. Wendy’s probably wondering where I am…” She quickly turned to the door and all but ran to it.

“I’ll… message later…” Seulgi called after her, though she soon heard Irene exiting the apartment entirely.

Seulgi lay there for several more minutes, her arm over her face as she tried to calm the lurching in her stomach. Had she and Irene really…? But why? How? She idly swept her hand across her bed, feeling the latent warmth of where Irene had been sleeping, and she slowly, indulgently rolled over to bury her face in that warmth.

Was this why people said be careful what you wish for? How long had she dreamed of being this close to Irene, but then for it to happen like this? So unceremoniously, without any memory, and to have Irene rush off so quickly in what Seulgi could only interpret as shame.

She let her eyes close as she huddled there and tried to recall the events of last night. Irene had mentioned a movie… she tried to picture it in her mind. Which movie? As she willed herself to recall, in the darkness of her mind as her eyes remained shut, a face suddenly appeared to her, but it wasn’t Irene’s. Curiously, it was that of an old man with a long beard, and as he stared back at her, Seulgi realized his eyes were entirely black. Her eyes shot open in surprise, but she couldn’t place the vision. Had that been a character from the movie, perhaps?

In the next beat Seulgi pushed up out of bed and padded into her living room, hunting for signs of what might have happened last night. Something was wrong. She couldn’t even remember what movie they had watched. There on her coffee table was evidence enough of a gathering: snack wrappers, a half-eaten bag of chips, takeout containers, even a bottle of wine. But just one.

Seulgi went to her kitchenette but there was nothing in her little recycling box. No other bottles, no cans, nothing. There had to be another explanation. Seulgi went back into her room to look for her phone, and some clothes. Once she was dressed, she pulled up her chat with Yeri to get some answers.

[Seul]: “Where are you”

[YR]: “home?”

[YR]: “????”

[Seul]: “What happened last night”

[YR]: “What do u mean”

[Seul]: “Idk Irene and I can’t remember”

[YR]: “We”

[Seul]: “?”

[YR]: “We went to your place”

[Seul]: “I know. What did we do?”

[YR]: “I don’t really remember. Why”

[Seul]: “Well Irene slept over…”

[YR]: “ok”

[Seul]: “Like in my bed”

[YR]: “YOU AND IRENE HOOKED UP???????????????”

[Seul]: “Shut up! I don’t know!”

[YR]: “Wow I didn’t even know she was like that”

[Seul]: “You of all people should have known”

Seulgi pulled back from her furious typing and paused. Why would Yeri know? Why had she said something like that? Sure enough, Yeri had a similar question.

[YR]: “How would you know that?”

[Seul]: “What do you mean?”

[YR]: “What do YOU mean???”

Seulgi groaned. This was devolving fast and she felt like she was no nearer the truth. But at least she knew Yeri was also having difficulty remembering last night’s events.

[Seul]: “Never mind I just want to know what happened last night”

[YR]: “We should talk”

[Seul]: “ok”

She tossed her phone back onto her bed and headed into the bathroom to get ready to meet Yeri, her mind buzzing with questions. None of it made any sense - it was like they were all missing a chunk of their memory. She had never out this badly before.

As she absently grabbed her orange toothbrush out of her cup, she failed to note the extra toothbrush beside it, almost exactly like her own, except it was pink.

+++

“Start at the beginning and tell me exactly-” Yeri began but Seulgi cut her off.

“I told you everything already,” Seulgi whined, thoroughly embarrassed at this point. They were the only two patrons crazy enough to sit at the cafe’s single outdoor table in the beginning of January, sipping their iced americanos and shivering, though this was all the privacy they could be afforded. There were hardly any other customers coming in and out this late in the morning, but Seulgi still paused every time someone passed. She should have just invited Yeri back to her place.

“I know, but… it just doesn’t make any sense. I mean,” Yeri paused, holding her gloved hands to her beanie, pulling it down further over her ears in frustration. “I mean congratulations, I guess, but-”

“What do you mean ‘congratulations’?” Seulgi sputtered.

“Well, haven’t you liked Irene for a long time? Like, a long time?” Yeri challenged. “I’d say well done, in that case, but I guess without knowing how Irene feels about you…”

Seulgi withered in her seat, groaning. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this. But how did you know about… me?”

Yeri gave her a level look. She was a lot more mature than when she had first joined Red Velvet - able to appreciate and catch onto others’ subtle changes in mood or tone, but that didn’t mean she took any crap from the older members. “Seulgi. How long have I known you for, now?” But she suddenly paused at the thought. It was like a fog had drifted in without her knowing, clouding her memories not just of last night, but of many things, even events long passed. How silly would it be if she had to google her own debut date? But as her searching gaze drifted away from Seulgi’s face down to the brown outlines of the ice crowded at the top of her drink, she suddenly had trouble remembering.

Maybe she was dehydrated. Or something.

“Anyway, it’s obvious,” she finally said with a dismissive wave of her gloved hand.

Seulgi frowned, her chin buried in her scarf as she too looked down in contemplation. “But isn’t it… bad? For the group I mean? What if it changes things?” When she raised her gaze again, she saw Yeri squinting back at her questioningly.

“I don’t think so, Seul. The more we talk about it, the less surprised I feel. It feels kind of… natural?” Almost like it had always been this way.

+++

“You’re home-” Wendy called in surprise, almost in the exact same position on the couch as Irene had found her the night before. But Irene couldn’t put together her thoughts yet, and went straight to her room without a word, leaving poor Wendy to stare after her in mute confusion.