“I don’t know how agony aunts do it,” Jessica says out of the blue.

“Who?” Taeyeon asks.

“Agony aunts,” Jessica repeats. “You know, those women who write advice columns and people write in asking for help to their problems.”

“That’s a thing?”

“Why, do you want to write to one now? You’d probably have to write like, fifty entries to cover all your problems.”

“My first one is going to be about my biggest problem, named Jessica Jung.”

Jessica grins, eyes crinkling and teeth flashing, and Taeyeon fights the urge to avert her eyes. “You’d write about me? I’m touched, Tae.”

Taeyeon clears . “Why did you bring up agony aunts all of a sudden? Are you thinking of applying to be one or something?”

“Oh, hell no. I don’t have patience for that sort of thing. Can you imagine me replying to someone going, Dear Abby, what do I do if my roommate keeps bringing her boyfriend over?”

“Who’s Abby?”

“Oh my God, Taeyeon.” English slips out of Jessica in that particularly exasperated tone of hers, like she’s wondering how are you even real? It’s probably pathetic that Taeyeon enjoys it. “Abby is like, the agony aunt. The OG. I can’t believe this disrespect towards her.”

“Why would you be called Dear Abby, anyway? You should be like, Dear Jess or something. Or Dear Sica.”

“Dear Sica,” she says thoughtfully. “I kind of like that, actually.” She suddenly trains a sweet smile on Taeyeon. “Would you write to me if I really had my own advice column, Tae?”

Taeyeon swallows. “Of course I would.”

The smile turns smaller and softer, and Taeyeon has to look away.

Dear Sica,

I’ve been in love with my best friend for the past I don’t even know how long. Problem 1 is that she may be the most oblivious person on this planet, possibly in the whole universe if there are life forms on other planets. Problem 2 is that I don’t even know if she likes girls. Please help.

—Sleepless in Soul

“Guess what,” Jessica says. “I talked to Juhyun – you know how she’s the editor of our school newspaper – and proposed the idea of an advice column and she’s considering it.”

Taeyeon blinks. “We have a school newspaper?”

“Yes. Haven’t you noticed that you pay a fee for it?”

Judging from Taeyeon’s blank look, the answer is quite obvious.

Jessica lets out a slow, exaggerated sigh. “Why do I even talk to you?”

“Who else is going to shoo away the pigeons for you when you’re trying to eat your lunch outside?”

“I swear, feed them a fry once and you’ll never be left alone.”

“I can testify to that,” Taeyeon says. “I regret letting you have a bite of my kimchi pancake the first time we met.”

“I was duped into thinking you were a great cook, but imagine my disappointment when I found out you can only make kimchi pancakes, kimchi fried rice and kimchi jigae. You really put the Kim in kimchi, don’t you?”

“Hey, that sounds like something I would say. Have I converted you into joining me in pundom?”

“You wish,” Jessica snorts, but the corners of pull up, and Taeyeon takes it as a victory.

Dear Sleepless,

Wouldn’t the universe be so much more interesting if there were life forms on other planets? Anyway, back to the point, since this isn’t an astronomy column (we can consider adding that as a feature, maybe), I probably don’t need to tell you that you have to do something about your crush. Her being your best friend, I’m sure, makes everything easier and harder at the same time. You should know that continuing as you are isn’t sustainable. Something has to change, whether for better or for worse. This state of limbo is not only miserable for you but damaging both to you and your friendship. I know that you’re scared about rejection (who wouldn’t be?), but even if she does reject you (and I’m not saying she will), that would be the push you need to get over her. Or if she accepts you (fingers crossed!), that would be the best case scenario, right? But you need to do something. You need to talk to her. Maybe this isn’t the advice you were hoping for, but I’m here to tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to.

P.S. Love the name.

—Sica

“What is it?” Taeyeon asks. “Why are you sulking?”

“I’m not sulking,” Jessica says in a sulky voice. “Why do you think that I am?”

“You have your sulking face on.”

“This is just my resting expression.”

“You may have RBFS, but this isn’t it.”

Jessica cracks a smile at that. “I’m impressed you know that term.”

“Hey, I’m not a grandma, okay?” At Jessica’s flat look, she amends, “Not a total grandma. Anyway, why are you sulking?”

“I’m not sulking, I’m just…reflecting.”

“What are you reflecting on?”

“Don’t end a sentence with a preposition,” Jessica says, and Taeyeon is caught between smiling and rolling her eyes. She has that reaction quite a bit around Jessica. “Not a lot of people are writing in to my column,” Jessica admits in a smaller voice.

“It’s just getting started. I’m sure that’s normal.”

“I know, and I’ve told myself that. It’s just – I can’t help but be a bit disappointed, I guess.” Jessica looks down, examining her nails with rather too much focus.

“Jessica,” Taeyeon says, and her tone must be something because Jessica looks up and meets her eyes. “Your talent isn’t determined by how many people write to your column. I’ve read your writing. I know you’re a great writer, and you’re a great advice columnist too. I’m sure your readership will grow, and even if it doesn’t, don’t let that determine your self-worth because you’re so much more than a subscription number.”

“Tae.” Jessica swallows, opens like she’s going to add something more, but closes it without a further word.

Taeyeon understands.

Dear Sica,

Thank you for the reply. (And I totally agree on the astronomy feature. That’d be interesting.) You’re right, I know that going on like this is, like you said, unsustainable. I’m like a hamster running on a wheel thinking that it’s going to take me somewhere. Or maybe like that Greek guy who pushes a boulder up a mountain only for it to roll down so he has to keep pushing it. What’s his name again? I can’t remember. Anyway, I’ve been on this wheel for so long that I’m scared of what’s going to happen if I get off it. At least if I’m running in a circle I’m running, even if I never get anywhere. Maybe I’m just scared of the somewhere being a different place. I’m not ready to migrate. Even limbo can feel comforting after a while, if you’re used to it.

I’m rambling, sorry. I’ve lost track of my point by now.

P.S. Thank you. I’ve been told I like puns too much.

—Sleepless in Soul

“Tae,” Jessica says excitedly. “I’ve been getting some readers!”

Taeyeon can’t help but smile, drinking in the way Jessica’s eyes are lit up. “Congratulations! I knew you would.”

Jessica’s smile turns shyer, into that smaller and softer one that Taeyeon finds hard to look at and yet impossible to look away from.

“Thank you for believing in me,” she says quietly. “Even and especially when I didn’t believe in myself.”

“Of course,” Taeyeon says immediately. “You don’t need to thank me for that.” I’ll always believe in you. You’re the faith that I can’t give up on even if I wanted to.

Jessica stares at her for a long moment that makes Taeyeon’s heart race. She suddenly imagines writing Dear Sica, what do I do if I feel like my heart is going to explode out of my chest when my best friend simply looks at me? She can imagine getting a reply like, That sounds concerning. Maybe you should consult a cardiologist. I don’t want to be sued for giving improper medical advice.

“So,” Taeyeon says quickly. “Any readers that stand out to you?”

Jessica’s expression brightens. “Yeah, there’s this one who I’ve been having a great conversation with. I really look forward to getting her questions.”

Taeyeon’s stomach twists. “Oh yeah?” she says in what she hopes is a casual voice.

“Mm hmm. She kind of reminds me of you, really. Well, her addiction to puns, at least.”

“Oh, r-really?”

“Yeah. Also.” Jessica makes a face. “I think you’ve rubbed off on me because I’ve been finding myself using puns a lot.”

“Why do you say that like it’s a bad thing? Puns are great.”

“Of course you would say that,” Jessica mutters.

“Come on, puns require wit and creativity. It’s a testament to your ability that you can make puns.”

“You know, you’re onto something there,” Jessica says thoughtfully with a serious expression, which only last for about one second before it dissolves into a smile. “I can’t believe you made puns sound so—intellectual. You’re really something, Kim Taeyeon.”

“I know I am,” Taeyeon says, and Jessica grins at her.

Dear Sleepless,

The Greek boulder pushing guy’s name is Sisyphus. I’m impressed you know that tale. Most people only know Prometheus at best. Or maybe not even him, maybe just Pandora. I know her story didn’t have a good ending, but maybe you can take a leaf from her book and open the box! Or in your case, I suppose it’s more like Schrödinger’s cat. Right now you don’t know if the cat is alive or dead, and you’d rather have it that way. But we need to let the cat out of the bag. The box. Whatever. And then you can go get a different kind of cat, if you know what I mean! ;) (I’m sorry. That was terrible. I blame my best friend for that.)

Okay, on a serious note, I think I understand what you mean. You’re comfortable with the routine, the familiar, and you’re afraid of displacing it. You’re afraid of change. That’s very understandable. But you have to realize that things have to change. You can’t continue on as you are. I don’t think limbo is strong enough of a word. You’re in—purgatory right now. And you don’t need me to tell you that it’s not a good place to be. It’s not a healthy place to be.

P.S. Oh, you’re a pun addict? You really remind me of someone.

—Sica