"I hope I'm not put in the same part of hell as you."

"What are you talking about? I'm not going to hell! I haven't done anything bad. Well, okay one time I did try to steal my friend's puppy, but that was only once!!"

"You said that was last week."

"Still!! It was only once!"

"You summoned me, correct?"

"Not quite sure how, maybe it was when I substituted the Dutch process cocoa for natural... I knew I should have just gone to the store."

"...Right, well, you brought me here. It is required that you make a deal with me before I depart."

"Huh? Why?"

"You are probably the first to somehow summon a demon without the intent of selling your soul. This is, to say, unusual, but I still have my duties to perform. I fulfill your wildest dreams, your soul is then bound to the depths of hell. So, human, what is it you desire?"

"Oh, I don't really want anything right now."

"Impossible, every soul has a price. Is it riches? Fame? Glory?"

"No, that doesn't sound-"

"Eternal youth? Unlimited power?"

"Oh wait!"

"What is it?!"

"I would like a new oven! But I was planning on waiting for the clearance sale."

"..."

"Oh! Or how about you do the dishes while I cook. I mean, I already do the cooking, but you could help since you live here now it seems. I think that's a fair deal!"

"..."

"Right? I mean, you're too skinny. What do they feed you in hell? Whatever it is, it's not enough."

"..."

"Hmmmm, usually hitting your head against the wall isn't how you agree to a deal, but I guess demon ways are a little different. I'm gonna start on lunch now. Remember to dry the dishes after you wash them!"

"Ugggghhhhh..."

"Do you want pasta or burgers?"

"... Burgers."