“Look, ddohae,” his Heechul hyung looks at him with exasperation, visibly tired with his adamant denial of the truth, “why don’t you just go other there and take care of him? It’s that simple; why do you have to make this so complicated?”

“But hyung! It’s the first time I’m taking care of him. What if I, you know, make him feel worse?”

“Well, there’s a first time for everything ddohae.” Heechul responds nonchalantly, even lifelessly patting the younger’s shoulder which isn’t doing anything to help quell his worries. It doesn’t take another second for the older to take his leave, seeing the younger’s momentary loss of words as a window for him to finally escape this never-ending loop.

“Hyung~”  he spoke too soon “You’re not helping me~!” 

“UGH—fine! This is what you do, okay? Listen very closely. Try to recall all the times Hyukjae has taken care of you. What were the things he did when you were sick or injured from playing soccer too hard?” god why was this kid so oblivious, it’s no wonder Hyukjae is sick. Waiting for his best friend's thicker-than-the-wall-of-China-brain must have been so exhausting for his poor poor dongsaeng.

“Well…”

1

Five-year-old Donghae doesn't know how long he's been sniffing his nose, yet try as he might, the snot just keeps running out.

The poor sobbing boy hasn't let go of his scraped right knee ever since he trampled and skidded his knee on the grass-covered fields. His soccer coach had only been gone for three minutes to grab the first aid kit, but to five-year-old Donghae, it felt like an eternity.

His tears have dried, yet the streaks are still visible on his cherub cheeks. Sunny afternoons used to be the time when little Donghae felt the most alive and free, and now it's wasted on him clutching the throbbing and stinging scrape on his right knee.

Just when he was about to look around for any sign of his coach coming back for the nth time, the sun in his vision suddenly got blocked, and a shadow looms over him. 

Without further prompting, the shadow (who Donghae now sees belongs to another boy around his age) slowly sinks to his knee and curiously takes a look at his wound at a safe distance. Out of reflex, Donghae pulls his knee away from the boy. It doesn't faze the boy though, rather he gives Donghae a soft and kind smile as if he's telling little Donghae that he means no harm.

To further gain even an ounce of Donghae's trust, the boy grabs his lunch box to pull out a candy bar and a bottle of water. The boy then offers it to Donghae, patiently waiting for the latter to take it. “You look like you need a pick-me-up,” he adds, hands still outstretched towards Donghae with the goods waiting to be accepted. 

Reluctantly, Donghae removes his hands from his knee in favor of accepting the candy and bottled water from the other boy. He mutters a shy thank you and gingerly opens the candy bar, visibly in a better mood now that his mind is temporarily focused elsewhere. 

“Can I sit with you?” 

“Eung!” the boy brings his sling bag to his front before he sits crosslegged beside the injured Donghae.

Once Donghae takes a bite of the candy bar, his tastebuds are tickled with the sweetness of the chocolate and the slight saltiness from the cookie base. Visibly delighted, Donghae forgets for a moment that he has an audience yet the boy doesn’t seem to mind.

Halfway through the candy bar, Donghae only now remembers that there’s someone else beside him. So, albeit reluctantly, Donghae offers the boy the other half of the candy bar. The latter just shakes his head and declines, “It’s okay, you have it” he says. 

“Are you feeling better?”

“Eung,” Donghae nods while he tests out his knee, no longer feeling the sting, albeit it is still uncomfortable “thank you for the chocolate.”

“You’re welcome. Eomma always gives me something to eat when I get hurt, she says it helps as a disrac.. distrat—it helps you not think about it.” at the back of his mind, Donghae finds the other boy fumbling over his words amusing, but then he remembers what his mother taught him and finally introduces himself to the other boy.

But before they could even introduce themselves, Donghae’s soccer coach appears with a first aid kit and immediately attends to Donghae’s wound. When he turned to his side, the boy had already gotten up and started walking back to the school building. 

The next day Donghae goes to school with his knee wrapped in a clean bandage and a candy bar safely kept in his bag. Once the school bell rings, signaling it’s their lunchtime, the 5-year-old doesn’t waste any time scanning the hallways and the school cafeteria for a familiar face and finally finds it at their school playground, swinging idly on the swing set. The boy’s eyes are closed shut, and his head is tilted upwards as if he was basking in the sun and the gentle breeze, thus allowing Donghae to quietly approach him.

Donghae wordlessly offers the boy a candy bar he bought the night before with his mother at their local grocery store after he retold the story of the kind kid that stayed with him until his coach came back with a first aid kit. 

“Oh?”

“Hi, my name’s Donghae.” he smiles widely at the boy, his cheeks bunching up so that it resembles a peach. The young lad giggles at this wide-toothed smile and accepts his outstretched hand in a handshake. “I’m Hyukjae. Thanks for the candy. Do you want to share it with me?”

Donghae’s day ended with a new friend and a fondness for candy bars, especially those that Hyukjae always brought with him.

2

As if the sweltering summer heat wasn’t frustrating enough, this thirty-eight-degree Celcius fever might just successfully push Donghae to become a warm puddle of goo by the end of the day. 

It wasn’t his fault. Usually, it is but this time, it really isn’t. Donghae has once again pushed his body beyond its limits, only this time, he didn’t bounce back as quickly as he usually does. 

It was the last day of the school year, and junior high school student Lee Donghae decided to end the year by playing soccer till he drops (at that time, he didn’t mean it literally) with his friends at the school’s open field.

Despite the sun harshly beating down on him and his friends, Donghae continued to play and have fun and just be in the moment. Though their school building was almost empty, he and his friend’s laughter and playful jabs made it seem like it wasn’t the end of the school year. 

By the end of the afternoon, Donghae was dead beat yet his heart felt light and happy. Literally, nothing could bring his spirits down after today.

Except, of course, when Donghae wakes up the following day with a pounding headache and a body temperature that’s similar to the temperature for that day’s forecast. 

When Donghae’s mother finds out, she doesn’t scold or nag Donghae. Probably because being on bed rest on the first day of their summer vacation was already a punishment in itself. His mother just prepares him a hot Yuja tea with honey and a small basin of cold water and a hand towel to cool himself when it becomes too hot.

“I’ll bring up your lunch once it’s ready. For now, just sleep and keep yourself hydrated, okay?” his mother gives him a loving kiss on his forehead before he leaves his room to resume cooking in the kitchen. 

The second his mother leaves the room, Donghae spends five seconds staring at the ceiling in silence before concluding that it would be best to heed his mother’s advice and get some sleep. There wasn’t anything he could do anyway, might as well get some shut-eye.

Donghae lets sleep envelop him with its comforting embrace. It didn’t take him that long to get some shut-eye, just a few slow blinks and he was already in dreamland.

“Eomma?” The next time he opens his eyes, Donghae feels someone gently shake his leg awake. He still feels groggy but his head isn’t aching as much as it was that morning. Donghae doesn’t fully open his eyes just yet, he hears the gentle clank of the tray and tableware on his desk so he waits for his mother to get closer and check his temperature with the back of her hand.

“Get up ddohae, eomeoni went to Donghwa-hyung’s. She said to tell you that she’ll be back for dinner and to remember to take your meds on time.” Donghae jolts upright in his bed, he feels his brain jostle around inside his skull, making him feel a little dizzy. Though it seems like the person his mother entrusted to look after Donghae doesn’t care enough to let him recover from the shock and continues on as if Donghae isn’t currently holding his forehead to at least alleviate the pounding ache in his head.

“What the are you doing here?!”

“I just told you. Your eomma isn’t coming back until dinner time.” Hyukjae looks at the hopeless and visibly shocked Donghae with unfazed eyes, obviously very used to this type of behavior from the other.

“I meant, why you? Why did my mother ask you of all people when you live nowhere near here?”

“I went here because we were supposed to try out that new ice cream shop near the train station, but someone didn’t show up after an hour.” Hyukjae gives him a pointed look before retrieving the tray from Donghae’s study desk once the latter has recovered from his shock and grogginess. He carefully places the tray beside Donghae, a metal bowlful of warm saeu-juk, a side of kkakdugi, and one glassful of room-temperature water. His best friend hands him the glass of water first, probably heeding Mrs. Lee’s reminder to keep his son hydrated.

“How’d you get yourself sick this time?”

“How should I know? I made sure I drank a lot of water yesterday and rested when it felt too hot before playing again. I don’t understand when and where I went wrong.”

“Did you take a bath before or after you rested?”

“Before. It was too hot I couldn’t just bake myself in the heat—AW! Hey, that hurt!” 

“That’s what you get for being an idiot. No wonder your body is punishing you right now.” Donghae should know by now that even sickness would not prevent his best friend from afflicting more pain on him. Donghae hasn’t stopped rubbing the red stop on his left arm, it is now a bright red and still stings a little when he applies a bit of pressure. 

“You—I’m sick right now if that wasn’t already obvious!”

“Yeah, and whose fault is that huh? Honestly, sometimes you just jump head first into everything without even thinking of the consequences.”

“Alright, eomma, I won’t do it again. I don’t get why you’re upset. My own eomma didn’t even nag me, yet here you are doing the work for her.” the pout on Donghae’s lips doesn’t disappear despite taking spoonfuls of the warm juk. 

“It’s ‘cause I didn’t get my ice cream!” Hyukjae makes a show of throwing his fist back as if to hit Donghae again, only to settle with slapping the latter’s thigh repeatedly until he was satisfied. “I was even looking forward to it.” Hyukjae adds quietly but even so Donghae still catches it.

Donghae lets out an exaggerated sigh,  “Alright alright, geez! I’ll treat you to any flavor you want once I’m feeling better.” he says laboriously—as if he could even resist his best friend. 

Hyukjae squints his eyes at his best friend, like he’s waiting for Donghae to take back what he said. Yet after a few seconds of nothing, he resigns to pushing a tray of porridge towards Donghae, to which the latter wordlessly accepts and begins eating. 

The two best friends spend the rest of the day with Hyukjae accompanying Donghae on bed and reading through the latter’s steadily growing collection of comic books. 

Donghae’s mother finds the two boys inside Donghae’s bedroom, comfortably sleeping next to each other with her son’s head carefully nestled on his best friend’s shoulder. The scene before her makes her chuckle softly before quietly closing the door, granting the two boys a few more minutes of nap while she prepares their favorite curry and mini katsu bites. 

---

Donghae doesn’t even know why he even considered asking Kyuhyun for advice when he’s already positive that it wouldn’t get him anywhere. 

After contemplating what his Heechul hyung said for a day, he went with his gut feeling and asked some of his other friends for advice. His gut told him to ask his friends, but his mind supplied: why not start with Kyu?

So there he was in Kyuhyun’s dorm room, and not even a few seconds had passed, yet he was already regretting it.

“I don’t know man, this is more of a you problem rather than a me problem,” Kyuhyun doesn’t even make an effort to look at him, choosing to instead remain focused on reading his notes and course materials, “besides, didn’t Chullie hyung already give you advice? Why not just do that?”

Donghae already tried that, and all it did was remind him how clumsy he was (well, he still is). What he’s looking for is more of a step-by-step guide on how to take care of someone. And now that he’s thinking about it going to Kyuhyun first might not be the best idea. 

“Anyway, it’s not that I don’t enjoy your company, but I really need to go over my course materials ‘cause professor Shim’s subject is biting my ,” Kyuhyun says as if his nose isn’t practically touching his laptop screen from how close he is to it. 

Donghae quietly leaves Kyuhyun’s dorm room, defeated and very much unsatisfied. But he’s not about to let that bring his mood down and stop him from going to his other friends. So, albeit a bit reluctant, he goes to Sungmin and Youngwoon’s shared apartment, which is probably what he should have done in the first place. 

“Why was it in the fridge in the first place?!”

“Because I wanted to eat it once it was cool enough!”

“Then you should have placed a label on it!”

“I didn’t think I’d need to when I already told you that it was mine!”

“Well a label would have been a nice reminder, you know forgetful I get when I’m hungry.”

“Uh, guys?” this wasn’t what Donghae was expecting to see when he knocked on his friends’ apartment. He didn’t even need to knock, the front door was already open, surprisingly. “Are you two okay?”

Youngwoon and Sungmin look at each other silently, like they’re gauging if the other would still retaliate. “We’re fine Hae, it’s a silly argument. Did you need anything?”

“I wanted to talk to you guys about Hyukkie,” Donghae begins, he’s now comfortably siting in between his hyungs and it’s beginning to feel like he’s talking to his parents with how Youngwoon and Sungmin are looking at him. “He’s sick right now and I wanted to, you know, help make him feel better.”

“Okay… what seems to be the problem, then?”

“Well, it’s just I’ve never really taken care of anyone before.” he answers sheepishly. Now that he hears his dilemma out loud, Donghae feels even more embarrassed. “Sorry, I know that sounds impossible—”

“Hey now, that’s nothing to be ashamed of.“ “You know, you don’t need to overthink this. Sometimes, taking care of someone means doing something for them without needing to be asked.”

“He’s right, you know. It doesn’t have to be grand, sometimes it’s the simple gesture that people appreciate the most. Youngwoon hyung may not seem like it, but he’s very observant. Whenever I’m stressed with coursework, he brings me an English breakfast tea latte from our favorite cafe. I’ve never asked that from him but nevertheless, I appreciate him for bringing me my comfort drink whenever I’m about to lose my mind.” there was a moment of silence, then this strange yet familiar look that he’s seen his two hyungs give each other whenever their arguments have concluded. 

“It’s the little things Hae,” Youngwoon adds, this time he’s now looking at Donghae, “you don’t have to think on it too much. Like how Sungmin restocks my antihistamines whenever I forget to buy a new batch when it’s allergy season. It’s the thought that makes the other person really appreciate the gesture.”

His two friends insist that he stayed for dinner but his mind goes over Sungmin and Youngwoon’s examples. Looking back, there were times where Hyukjae did things for him but Donghae didn’t think much of it.

3

"I told you I've already added the salt, but it still doesn't taste right!" Donghae didn't mean to whine more than he already does daily. But when you've caught a stomach bug that causes you to hurl everything you try to eat, Donghae thinks this circumstance gives him free rein to whine.

"And I told you your tongue is probably messed up due to you constantly vomiting your guts out."

"Screw it. I'm adding more salt. It's not like I have anyone over anyway."

Donghae hears his best friend snort on speakerphone. He could almost picture Hyukjae shaking his head in amusement over Donghae's petulance, a sign that his best friend had already given up on trying to convince him otherwise. 

Despite the great distance between them (Hyukjae was in Japan for a four-day family vacation), Donghae felt as if his best friend was right there taking care of him. Once Donghae mentioned that his stomach felt funny, Hyukjae sent him all sorts of reminders to stay hydrated no matter what and homemade remedies that worked for Hyukjae when he felt his stomach was unwell.

Though Donghae often forgets to say it, he is very thankful to have someone like Hyukjae to take care of him, no matter how much they banter. 

“You’re trying to get better, not even more sick.” Hyukjae’s nonchalant voice rings through the kitchen, his hand stops midway from adding more salt to his makeshift porridge. Looking down at the simmering pot, it appears exactly like what his eomma or Hyukjae makes for him whenever he’s not feeling well. Too bad his taste buds are messed up, this would have been a good memory to look back on when one of his friends comments on his lacking skills in the kitchen.

“Hae? You there?”

“Huh—oh, yeah, I’m still here.” Donghae sets the salt shaker back and instead gives the porridge one last stir before shutting the flame from the stove. “I didn’t add more salt, don’t worry. You’re not even here yet it feels like you are with you nagging me nonstop.”

“Hey I wouldn’t even need to nag you if you just listened to me from the start.”

“Whatever,” Donghae says, he hears Hyukjae scoff and even if he can’t see it, he knows that it’s followed by an exaggerated eye roll, “I’m going to eat now. If you don’t hear from me tomorrow morning, I want you to know that it’s your fault.”

“And here I was thinking of bringing you back those mochi bread things with choux cream, guess my carry on luggage is going to be lighter on the way back—”

“Noooo! I’m sorry, I’m sorry I didn’t mean it! I take it all back, you were right!”

“Just rest while you can and get better, then maybe I’ll consider bringing you one packet.”

He doesn’t know what overcame him but Donghae diligently ate the porridge he made and drank lots of water and his medicine on time. Two days after Donghae was already feeling much better, though he doesn’t brag about it to his best friend. Instead he waits for him at the airport a day after, looking smug but also visibly excited to welcome his best friend home.

Hyukjae can’t hide his amusement seeing Donghae bouncing on the balls of his feet, like a child looking forward for his presents on Christmas morning. He doesn’t even need to cross the threshold when his best friend is already running towards him and tackling Hyukjae in a hug, as if he had been gone for over a year.

“Where’s my mochi bread?” Hyukjae laughs right into his ear, if his arms weren’t restrained in Donghae’s hug he would have smacked the other for not even bothering to ask how was the flight. Not that it matters, his best friend’s warm hug was already making up for it.

Hyukjae brought back six mochi treats for his best friend. Donghae, in turn, gave three of them to Hyukjae so they could share it over a cup of hot choco.

4

Admittedly, Lee Donghae wasn’t an organized person. It’s the main and only reason why he’s constantly losing things.

Normally, he wouldn’t stress about the things he’d lost because they turn up eventually. This time, however, unlike those times. Not when what he lost was his favorite blankie from his childhood.

Donghae has turned his studio apartment upside down, looking for the tethered and ragged piece of cloth that has brought him comfort during the most stressful times of his life, but alas, his search has been futile. In the middle of the mess of books and course works thrown haphazardly on the table and some on the floor, together with the scattered pile of clean clothes he has yet to fold and keep, there Donghae sits, defeated and so very close to tears.

Just when he’s starting to wrack his brain, thinking back on all the places he could have left his blankie or the possible corners he might have tucked his precious blankie in, knocks on his door ring through his apartment and cuts through the silence he has surrounded himself.

“Hae? The door was open, so I let myself in—wait, what happened? Are you okay?”

“Hyukkie…”

His best friend doesn’t waste another second and quickly steps over the piles of clothes just so he could envelop Donghae in his arms. The latter doesn’t realize that there are tears running down his face already nor does he stop them, not when he feels relieved now that he’s released some of the pent-up stress.

“Let it all out, there you go” as Hyukjae rubs comforting circles along his back, Donghae tucks his face into his best friend’s shoulder and does just that, letting it all out. Fat tears start flowing down his cheeks and onto Hyukjae’s shirt.

Everything that happened the past week all fade into a blur when Donghae tries to think back on it. So much has happened at such a fast pace; deadlines to be passed, exams to study for, and projects to get started on even when midterms aren’t even technically over yet. Donghae can’t even fathom how he even made it at the end of the week, must be why he’s desperately looking for his blankie all of a sudden.

“I’m sorry, it’s been a rough week“ Donghae's voice is a little muffled, yet Hyukjae hears him all the same and hugs his best friend a little tighter before letting go.

“We all have those days, and you have nothing to apologize for. Just don’t forget that you have all of us to lean on, okay?“ 

“Thank you, and sorry for getting snot on your shirt,” he giggles when he sees Hyukjae jokingly sneer at him, “did you need anything, by the way?” 

“Oh, right. You left this at my apartment, I figured you might be looking for it.” Hyukjae pulls something from his bag, and when Donghae gets a good look at it, it’s the tethered and ragged piece of cloth he losing his mind over earlier. “Now that I think about it, I should’ve brought this out first, huh?”

With his blankie now in his hand, it doesn’t feel the same. At least not this time. It must be because Hyukjae’s hugs felt warmer and more comforting than when he was alone with his blankie. Or maybe because he’s not alone at all this time. 

Yep, it must be either of those.

Hyukjae leaves a little past eight o’clock that night after eating takeout and helping Donghae clean up his studio apartment. 

With his blankie safely tucked by his side, Donghae sleeps with his heart finally at ease for the first time that week. His blankie still gives him comfort with the faint smell of home, but that night, it was Hyukjae’s warm hug and comforting back rubs that effectively lulled him to sleep.