RA BEGINNINGS: the end
teaser 6 — "i'm looking forward to the 3 b's, booze, es, and barties."

Nothing represented RA training coming to an end like a day of relaxation. The term relaxation is used loosely to represent mind-soothing activities but to Kyunghee, a hike was not one of them. She much rather be in her air conditioned room gaming on her computer instead of climbing rocks and swatting away bugs in the blazing hot sun.  She never sweat so much in her life, even her tiny handheld fan wasn’t helping much. She couldn’t help but wonder if this is how it felt to be microwaved, the life slowly getting out of you with every drop of sweat as you lose energy and your temperature goes up. Or was that description more consistent with an air fryer? The appliance did tend to leave her food lifelessly dry. As her mind pondered the resemblance of her current state and food that she wished she was eating at the moment, her face remained blank. Though obviously tired, exhibited by the sweat stains on her baggy shirt and the mouth breathing. She didn’t look like she hated it as much as she did. 

Out of everyone her lack of physical activity was showing. She was at the end of the herd, barely being able to keep up with the rest. According to Darwinism she would've been eliminated by now, natural selection would've swallowed her whole with the survival of the fittest theory.

Although she was on the thicker side of the Korean beauty standard she didn’t consider herself out of shape. But now she was definitely thinking that watching a few work out videos before bed wouldn’t be so bad. She mentally berated herself for not speaking up fast enough to volunteer and join the prep crew at Daesung Lake. It was their final destination; instead of being on the verge of death on a hill that was too vertical for comfort, she could’ve been helping prepare for the BBQ like Taekwon.

The man on Kyunghee’s mind was sitting alone on the side, looking off into the distance as his fellow volunteers enjoyed the lake and each other’s company. Miyoon approached him, kneeling down to his height, “are you okay Taekwon? Don’t you want to go in the lake with the others? There are still some boats and tubes left.”

“No thank you, I rather sit here on dry land where I’m not exposed to diseases that might kill me, or even worse give me explosive diarrhea. Well technically just by being here I’m at risk of getting Lyme Disease from a tick that just happens to find my blood delicious, which I think must be the case because, not to brag but mosquitoes love me,” he said before smacking his arm at the tingly feeling on his skin then rolling his sleeves all the way down.

“Aren’t you hot?” Miyoon asked, not quite sure what to say to the rest of his rant. Taekwon was wearing a plaid sweater vest on top of a long sleeve shirt and a pair of blue jeans. The polar opposite of what you’d expect to see in that weather. “Not really, that’s partially why I’m sitting still in the first place. The feeling of wet clothes is nauseating. But don’t worry, with a brain like mine you’re never really bored. I bet I’m having more fun than everyone else here, definitely making the most societal contribution that’s for sure,” he looked at his fellow volunteers with disdain, wondering how they found wasting time with leisure water activities fun. He continued talking as he kept his face forward, “Too bad you have an average brain capacity, it must be hard being mediocre.”

Miyoon paused for a second, not sure if she just got insulted before giving a nod and deciding to leave the matter alone while Taekwon snuggled into his chair and happily got lost in his thoughts alone once again.

Once the hiking team reached the top of the mountain, the view almost made the struggle worth it. Kyunghee plopped herself down, at the moment she didn’t care who she sat next to. She was focused on trying to catch her breath instead. 

“You don’t exercise much do you-“ Wonbin said, Kyunghee looked to her right and saw the older male sitting beside her. Unlike her he seemed unphased by the hike. She mentally cursed herself for picking such a seat, she’s only known him for 2 weeks and he's somehow found a way to make her dislike him. Kyunghee didn’t respond, just focused on trying to catch her breath. 

“You should take long breaths instead of short ones, that’ll help you recover faster,” he spoke again. Still she didn’t say anything but instead followed his orders and found her breathing become more relaxed overtime. She looked over at him and mumbled, “thanks.” 

“Don’t thank me, I just didn’t want you to die next to me,” he teased. She subtly attempted to stand but her quivering legs told her to stay. She hoped he would leave instead, at least for someone to call his name but he remained there, leaning back looking into the distance. Kyunghee on the other hand was in awe at the view, despite it being her second year she never came up here. Apparently it was one of the lesser known hiking routes but Donggyu’s favorite. 

“I heard Donggyu broke his neck here,” Wonbin said. 

What- how did he know what I was thinking? Kyunghee thought. 

“It’s seriously nice up here though. I’d come up here often too if I could, just to think.”

Kyunghee mentally scoffed, think? What does he know about thinking- 

“You’re probably wondering what I know about thinking since I’m not the brightest guy around right? Well sadly I still think as much as anyone else, maybe even more now. Being on my last year isn’t easy, I graduate after this and it’s ing scary,” his voice got softer as he spoke like he meant what he said. 

Kyunghee didn’t know how he was reading her mind but despite it being two years away, she too thought about graduation and it wasn’t fun. She glanced back at him, his face was tense in a pensive frown like he was mentally somewhere else. The subconscious feeling of being watched made Wonbin turn to look at her, eyes meeting for a second before Kyunghee quickly looked away. 

“What?” Wonbin asked, he leaned forward to hear her better, unsure if she said anything while he was lost in his own head. One too many parties and blasting music to drown his thoughts were catching up to him. Kyunghee remained silent though, instead retracting into her shell by curling up a bit. 

Wonbin squinted at her, “are you actually that shy or are you hiding something? I feel like quiet people are always hiding something.”

Kyunghee blinked a few times, unsure if it was an actual question or a theoretical one. Wonbin leaned back with his arms crossed when he didn’t get a response. “You’re a big mystery Nam Kyunghee, and I wanna solve you.” 

Kyunghee’s head shot back to look at him, her eyebrows furrowed as she did so. “I don’t mean like that, I meant go on a date. Who knew you were dirty minded,” Wonbin smirked a bit, the more he interacted with her the more amusing she became. Kyunghee’s cheeks flushed red, both at his proposal and her misunderstanding.

“Don’t you have a girlfriend?”

Wonbin was taken aback, but it didn’t take him long to conclude that Taekwon blabbed somehow. If the other was here he’d put him in another chokehold. “Nah, Taekwon probably told you some crazy story about a handshake with lip integration or whatever the he called it, right? Yeah, dude can’t take sarcasm for the life of him.”

Kyunghee nodded slowly, “Well, I’m not ready to date yet. I want to focus on my studies… But maybe you shouldn’t go after two girls at once…someone could get hurt…” her voice trailed off, hands fidgeting as she gave advice. 

Wonbin laughed, “what are you a love guru now? Have you even dated someone before?” 

Kyunghee shook her head getting a scoff from Wonbin in response, “before you try to help me with my , you should figure yours out first.” He stood up and stretched him arms letting out a groan at the same time then looked down at Kyunghee. “But I have advice for you too,” he took out a cigarette from his pocket and placed it between his lip, “you can’t hide under a rock forever Kyung saeng. All the dark comes to light eventually.” 

Kyunghee looked up at him as he lit the cigarette and blew the smoke into her face, a smirk painting his face before he turned to leave. She let it dissolve around her instead of swatting it away, the smell was more familiar to her than she’d like to admit yet gave her a sense of comfort. 

—

As hours passed, eventually the hiking crew met with the rest of the RA’s and staff at Daesung Lake. Most students taking a dip in the lake to cool off, playing games or just relaxing in a tube as they feasted on barbecue. As the sun started to set, everyone found themselves in a circle surrounding a campfire. 'The circle of positivity' as Donggyu called it. They went through a few breathing exercises to clear their minds, then each RA was given a pen and paper to write something that was on their mind lately; either good or bad, a hope or a dream, anything. All together they threw them into the fire to elevate their burden, apparently it was supposed to feel therapeutic. Physically getting rid of the thought felt like a weight being lifted off your shoulders.

“Now we’re going to go around in a circle and say what’s on our mind, it can be what you wrote or maybe even what you’re looking forward to for the year. We’re a family now so this is a safe place to express yourself,” Donggyu smiled a bit looking around at the students, some of them tensed up at the idea of opening up so Donggyu went first, “I’ll start, hmmm. Since this is my first year as Director, I’m a bit nervous so I wrote that I hope this year goes smoothly. Well, as smoothly as being in charge of a bunch of college students could go,” he chuckled.

Each student and staff member went one after another, followed by everyone snapping. Haerim was the first of the Chungsam Hall RA’s to go, “okay so let me start by saying I’m loving the vibes, I think this was such a cute idea and I feel so much lighter and brighter just from all this already. I can tell that a lot of tension was released too, I can just feel it in the air. But I guess my hope for the year is… I hope my floor loves me like a big sister,” Haerim smiled hopefully as her fellow RAs snapped for her. 

Younggi who sat beside to her was next, “I agree with everything Haerim said, I was worried about student government elections but I’m actually pretty hopeful now. That's whats been on my mind lately,” a sheepish smile grew on her face, secretly hoping that she had everyone's vote.

Kyunghee was next, “Hm… I’m nervous about the school year starting… That's it," she trailed off.

“I’m looking forward to the end of the year so I can go to Harvard, I already did early admission so its just a matter of waiting. But no need for concern, there's no way I'm not getting in since my application is so good that its almost laughable,” Taekwon said.

“I just want good vibes this year with no drama,” Anthony commented at his turn. 

Towards the end of the circle Wonbin had a lot of time to think, he had a lot on his mind that he wanted to say and only one person knew it. He looked over at Kyunghee who was watching him, hoping he’d say something meaningful. “Since I’m in my last year, I’m looking forward to the 3 B’s, booze, es and barties.”

His response got a cheer from a few other guys and groans from some of the girls who were unimpressed though some of them still cheered, 'the desperate ones' as Haerim called them. Donggyu was at a lost for words at his answer, the man barely cursed and he was in his 30s.

“It’s parties with a P,” Taekwon corrected.

“Who cares, let’s go ing insane!” Wonbin screamed then ran and jumped in the lake, others following his lead and jumping into the lake fully clothed like a domino affect. Miyoon sighed in disappointment, the same sigh that Kyunghee did, right when she expected more he proved to her that he wasn’t any better than all the rumors.

Once they were back at the dorms, lake water drained off their bodies and pajamas on, a group of RAs gathered in the lounge to go to Retox together, a local nightclub that was popular amongst Jeju’s youth. Both Younggi and Kyunghee declined to accompany Haerim while Wonbin refused to ask Taekwon who most likely wouldn’t have joined anyways. 

The loud music was just what they needed to end a long day. Drinks skewing their mental state enough to call it fun, while some others were way passed their limit. Anthony sat at the bar with Haerim, both took a shot, following it with a bite of lime. Anthony’s nose wrinkled in disgust at the taste as he looked around at the other guests, some stumbling their way through, others dancing the night away. There were quite a few people he found attractive, both guys and girls caught his eye. The way they flirted made it obvious that they wanted him too but he couldn’t get himself to act on it. His eyes wandered to find Wonbin in the corner passionately locking lips with a black haired girl he couldn't see the face of. 

“Of course,” he said to himself. Haerim poked his arm making the boy jump a bit. “What’s up with you, you got hit on like three times in one night and rejected all of them. Now you’re all sulky. Come on, spill the beans.” She poked him continuously until he budged. 

“It’s nothing, just tired I guess.”

“Tired my , I’ve known you for three years and I’m well aware of the infamous Anthony that rejects every love proposal he ever gets.”

Anthony chuckled, he was well aware of what people said about him and the fact that he was considered well above average. “They’re just not my type I guess.”

“Oooh so what is your type then?” She finished the rest of her fruity cocktail and leaned in curiously. 

Anthony rubbed his nape and shrugged, he was biual but didn’t speak about it much. Not that he was ashamed of who he was, but it wasn’t as LGBTQ friendly in Korea as it was in America. 

Haerim squinted at him as she hummed, as if trying to decode a mystery. “What about me? Are you into blonde hippies?”

Both of them laughed, “yeah you’re not bad.”

“Wow! Not bad? Yes, because every girl loves to hear that they’re okay looking,” Haerim exaggerated, mostly teasing the other with an eye roll.

“I didn’t mean it like that, of course you’re pretty. Maybe even the prettiest girl here,” he confessed.

“Maybe? Oh come on, you can do better than that Mr. Kwon.”

“Okay then I admit, you’re the prettiest.”

“Really? What are you going to do about it then?” Haerim said confidently. Anthony's eyes wandered to her lips, both slowly inching closer with their eyes drifting closed right before their lips crashed into one another. Neither of them expected to kiss anyone tonight, especially not each other, but the moment seemed right and the shots gave them an extra boost of confidence.

Haerim's lips were soft, her aromatic scent emulated a fresh field of flowers that complimented the lingering fruity taste from the alcohol. His hand that was on a respectful spot on her thigh close to her knee was yanked up; the tips of his fingers now lingering along the hem of her short dress as if giving him permission to explore, squeeze, and touch. But he couldn’t tell if the knot in his stomach was from nerves or satisfaction, and it terrified him.

Anthony broke the connection, pulling away first and letting all the endorphins that were released immediately deplete into nothingness. Haerim wasn't surprised, she knew about the rumors and wanted to see if it was true for herself. But she didn't expect such a sudden response. She placed a hand on top of his, just concerned at this point, "is something wrong?"

The kind gesture was too much for Anthony at the moment who quickly retracted his hand at the slightest touch. "Yeah um, sorry, I think I'm just tired from the hike and all. I'll see you back at the dorms, okay?" Before she could respond he was up and gone. Pushing his way past the never ending ocean of clubgoers. The room was getting smaller, the walls were getting closer, and the air was getting thinner making it harder to breath.

By the time he made it out alive he was hunched over panting for air. He took a minute to catch his breath, deeply inhaling what the cool breeze blew his way until he felt like he could stand on two feet without toppling over.

He looked over and saw Wonbin looking out into the distance, he went beside him once he was fully composed and followed his gaze. The black haired girl that he saw him with before was walking down the hill with her phone to her ear. "Who is that?" Anthony asked.

Wonbin kept his eyes on her, squinting a bit as she got further away until she disappeared into the distance. "I have no idea." 

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