The rest of the afternoon passed quickly. Eunwoo read a book while I played with a game on my phone. It was not different from the dorm, but we were alone and it was quiet without the others.

Eunwoo moved next to me, putting his book on the couch, and looked at the hour. He stood up, went away, and came back with a small box. The box was beautifully wrapped in black, with a white bow on the top. He sat down at the same place and looked at it a moment without moving. I raised an eyebrow, wondering what was happening.

"Did you find this? Was it with the basket?" I asked, still playing with my phone
"Hm- no. No, I bring this here. It's uh- it's for you actually."

I put down my electronic on the couch, a bit surprised.

"What's the occasion? My birthday is nowhere close. Christmas too."

Should I feel bad because I don't have any gift for him? I bite my lips, worrying.

"I wanted to give the box at the restaurant but - I think I owe you an apology." He said while looking a bit shy.
"For what? You did nothing wrong. Unless you did? Hyung..." I chuckled, trying to make the atmosphere clearer.
"About earlier." He added.

I lost my breath. My stomach did the weird thing again - feeling a big awkward.

"You don't need to. It was my fault anyway." I said before he could add anything.

He stayed quiet a moment, then looked at the gift.

"Do you really think it's something bad?" Asked my friend with a small voice.

I kept quiet. No - of course not. But I made it weird, trying to kiss you in the water like this. You didn't seem ready or open to it.

"Because I don't." He said. "And - if what I'm about to say bothers you, or if you're not sure - it's okay. We can stay like before. Okay?"

He wasn't looking at me. I nodded anyways.

What was happening?

"You know I'm not so good at expressing words when I talk. So... Please open this. But only when I'll be outside okay? Take your time. There's no rush. Then whatever you will tell me, I'll accept it. It will be fine. Okay?"

He stood up, gave me the box, and walked away outside without saying another word.

I looked at the box a moment, unsure if I wanted to see what was inside. I finally did open it, few seconds later. The curiosity was too much for me. Inside, there was a piece of paper with his handwriting.

 

"Hi Binnie,

I am sorry I had to hide while you read this message, but I wanted to make sure you felt no pressure from me about what I'm about to tell you.

I like you. No. I love you.

For a long as I can remember. My heart is racing just writing this letter and thinking about how you will react to my words.

Are you surprised?

It was a challenging task to tell you. I thought about it for too long - the damn dating ban came straight to my face while I was still thinking about it.

I know I don't have much to offer, because of the ban mostly. I can't offer dates. I can't offer public kiss or even holding hands. Even at the dorm, it might be tricky. I'm still unsure if it's a clever idea. I'm willing to put my career on the line - but not yours. I don't want you to lose contract or having difficulties with the management because of this.

What am I offering exactly? Staying best friend. I think it's safer.

But - maybe, from time to time, when we are totally alone and if we feel like it - we can be more. On those special occasions - like, per example, a trip to Jeju-do… maybe we could try to be more? And when both of us stop being idols, or when they'll forget about the ban, then we can be officially more.

I'll be waiting outside for your answer. I know I am asking a lot. I am sorry.

But my heart is too stubborn. I love you too much. I often think about what my life will be when I'll be older. The answer might be different from time to time, but there's always you. You are always next to me.

Yours if you want,

Eunwoo."
 

I blinked. I looked around myself, my heart racing fast. He... He liked me. He wanted to be more.

.

I stood up without thinking much - almost running outside. I found him sitting on the deck, watching the ocean afar. He was staying still. I stay behind him, the letter still in my hand.

It should be easy - really. Hey Hyung, I love you too. Let's have some fun while we can? Sure. But... What after?

Eunwoo had a point. I had a dating ban. He did too. His was worse than mine. Are we able to keep quiet enough? There's a limit of trips to Jeju-do someone can take per year without sounding suspicious. There's a limit of time where we are alone in the dorm. Sure - Eunwoo had his own bedroom - heck he has his own house now. But we had to be careful. Eunwoo is afraid for my job - but he had a lot more to lose. He's the main reason why Astro is doing well. Without him, the others will have trouble too.

But... All of that doesn't change the fact that I still love him. And he loves me too. His ultimatum changed our relationship, even if he said it wouldn't. Because I would always know he was there for me. And if I confessed too, he would be in the same boat as me. We will become awkward - like this afternoon - but all the time if we do nothing about it.

And I don't want that. I want Eunwoo to me. I want Eunwoo happy. Smiling. Goofing around. Mostly with me.

I closed my eyes. I'm done. My brain can't win against my heart. Even if I’ll be hurt in the end - I knew from the moment I saw his words - what I would say.

"H-Hyung."

Eunwoo turned around, looking at me. His eyes were shy, his cheeks were pink. So damn adorable. I walked and sat next to him really close, playing with the paper in my hand, stressed. Words weren't getting out of my mouth. I knew I couldn't trust my voice right now. My strength always has been my body.

I bring myself closer to him, few centimeters from his lips. He was looking at my, red as an apple. I closed the gap when I made sure he didn't mind - when he didn't react badly to our proximity.

His lips tasted fruity. Our first kiss wasn't the most beautiful. I lasted only a moment, but it lit my heart on fire. I didn't want to stop. I was afraid my friend would run away from me if I did. I still don't believe what's happening. When we stopped our contact, I let my head rest on his forehead. I sighed in pleasure. Eunwoo held my hand and intertwine our fingers. I squeezed it. He giggled. I looked at him at the same moment - he had the more beautiful smile I saw on his face. He was shining.

"You are so beautiful." were the first word I was able to say.

Eunwoo giggled a bit more.

"I love you too." Followed few seconds later.

I didn't think it was possible - but he smiled even more. Eunwoo kissed me back. This time it was different - it felt like someone with more experience. Someone who knew what he was doing and angry for more. My body was of fire quickly. I had to stop him at some point - when I knew I was about to lose my head.

His lips were bright red from our contact. I was probably the same.

"As much as I love this Hyung - aren't we supposed to go to the restaurant later? I remember you told me it was your treat..." I said with a small voice.

He smirked at me.

"The reservation is in two hours - we still have time to do other stuffs." He raised one eyebrow suggestively.
"Oh." I blinked.
"If you want. I don't want to impose anything." he said while biting his bottom lips.

Remember about my body that doesn't listen to me? Yeah. It's happening again. I wouldn't say I jump on his - but it was close enough. I'm not sure how this happened, but we were kissing again - he was laying down on the deck, I was on him, holding him gentle.

Our tongues played with each other. Hands were moving freely on each body. I must admit that his back skin was soft like a cloud. I knew he was strong and had nice muscles, but it's different - I can touch it now. He's so damn attractive, does he know? Surely, he does.

"What are you thinking about" he asked me between two kisses on my neck. I was only able to answer with a small growl. How can he make me lose my head like this?
"How lucky I am." I tried to mumble while looking at his eyes. They looked playful and full of stars.

Eunwoo giggled.

"You act like you already knew I would ask you out." He bites his lips before talking again. "Did you know? Am I an open book?"

I caressed his cheek with my right hand. He closed his eyes.

"Not really. But - I guess I hoped. Badly."
"Well, I was hoping too. I woul