Eunwoo was sitting on the couch. His eyes were looking at the book in front of him, but I know he was not reading. I know what he is thinking. 

Few weeks ago, Minhyuk told us he had a girlfriend. The actress with whom he did a drama.

"Hey Hyung." I said softly while sitting down next to my friend.

His eyes met mine. He smiled, but not as much as usual. Not as much as before. His eyes were also puffy. A proof of a recent burst of feelings.

"Hey Bin."

I noticed his book was upside down. I would chuckle usually, but I know why he is like that. And... I am no better. So, I will not laugh or tell him about it.

"Want to go outside? I know it's a bit cold, but if we dress up, it will be fine."

He lowered his eyes a moment, thinking, then look at me again.

"I'm not sure it's a good idea. I'm afraid people take pictures of me like this."

At least he knew. He knew he looked miserable.

Minhyuk told us few weeks ago he had a girlfriend. It is nice. It is really formidable for him. We were all happy and a bit jealous. The dating ban finished few years ago, but we knew it was a bad idea to get a lover. We did not know how the fan would react.

"Even with a mask and your jacket? It's also dark outside. Please come breathe air out with me. I can't see you like this. You know how it hurts me." I mumbled, hoping.
"Yeah. Even with the mask. Also, I'm... I'm not in the mood right now."
"But you're never in the mood. You need to move and do something to feel better."
"But it's so unfair?"

Few tears rolled down on his cheeks. My heart squeezed.

"I know. It is unfair."
"They know how much this means to me."

I sighed.

Minhyuk isn't the most popular of Astro. He's fine with this even if he wished it was more. He still had many loyal fans. We know that in this industry, we can't live without fans otherwise well... the company won't do any money. So, when the news got out, that Minhyuk had a girlfriend, he talked with the manager and the board, and they agreed. They said he could confirm the news if he wanted. Because there was no date ban and because it wouldn't hurt Astro much.

I tried to hug Eunwoo, but he stopped me. Again, my heart hurt. Stupid situation. There's no way I can win this. There's no way I'll be able to tell him. Not today. Maybe not even this month or this year. 

"I'm so tired of this. Why does it matter anyway? I could date in secret. They wouldn't even know."

He kept quiet a moment. I didn't know what to do or what to say. Honestly, if I talk right now, I'll be a mess. My brain is stupid, and I'll probably confess or something. And that's not something I want right now.

"It's been years. ing years."

Eunwoo was becoming emotional by the second.

The board thought it wouldn't hurt Astro because Minhyuk wasn't popular. But they forgot he still had fan. Hardcore fan. Who could share fake stories and secrets. And mostly give Minhyuk a bad time because they were jealous. They stayed together because - heck they already came out, so why stop it. But Minhyuk lost a bunch of fans and at the end, our last come back didn't sell as much as it was supposed to. The board said it was because of Minhyuk's relationship.

So, they told us we couldn't get an official lover as long as we were under Fantagio. And since Eunwoo was the most popular - by far, they made it worst for him. He couldn't get any relationship at all. Even if it was secret. If they learned he had one, they will kick him out of the industry.

What make it even worst?
Me.
I'm ing in love with him.

Eunwoo is sad because he can't get any relationship.
I'm sad because I can't get in couple with the one I like. Even if I didn't know he could be interested or not. I never showed him. Maybe I should have? Before this stupid situation.

Eunwoo hide his eyes behind his hands. I could hear his tearing up. The news was still fresh. We learned about it last Sunday. Since that day, Eunwoo is in that state.

Minhyuk was feeling bad of course. But he still has his girlfriend at the end of the day. He can kiss her. Hold her. Love her. We cannot do any of that. And that .

The last time Eunwoo had a girlfriend, it was before Astro. Before our ban. He never had time to meet someone for real. But I know he was hoping. Hoping the next person he met would be the one. I do not think he was ready for marriage, but for a really special and official relationship.

I hoped it was me. He hoped it was his soul mate.

He cried on TV once, telling how much he wanted someone to understand him and marry him. I felt so uncomfortable. I wanted to shout and tell him - Hyung. I do understand you. I know how strange you are. But also, how awesome you are. Generous. Intelligent. Nice. I know all about you. And I also love you and will forever. Please give me a chance?

But I am a coward.

So, when he came back after that tv show, I did not say a word. The guys nagged