Part Four

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It is frustrating

I know something between us has definitedly changed and I am surely not complaining yet I'm absolutely bothered that he is trying to make the 'kisses' we had like nothing happened. 

I thought our relationship would grow (I don't even know what kind of relationship we are having right now) after that kissing and making out in front of his days-marks.

Or I hope that maybe he would open up more to me or something but I thought wrong. 

He is trying to make it like nothing had happened between us. He is keeping his distance, more than before and I am getting more frustrated as days passed.

He would cooked for me, leaving meals on the dining table as he often did before disappear himself into the forest. I wanted to follow him but he would always went out when I was sleeping.

Not too mentioned he had made his shadow-rope around my wrist invisible to the eye one night (I can feel it wrapped around my wrist yet I couldn't see it). All the more adding up to my irritation for him and this situation makes me gloomy. 

I hate being ignored

Especially when I had kissed with the man 

So this time, during the third day after that kissing moment we had, I slept early because I want to stay up during the night. When the moon is up, I prepare myself, wearing my red cloak and my small satchel wrapped around my waist.

After wearing the cloak again, it makes me remember the people that I left at the academy. They're probably worried sick about me, especially Kyungsoo. My mouth curved down thinking about my friend -- I miss him. 

But I can't leave now.

For some reason I can't leave Hyun alone. All things happened had made me too curious and intrigued that I can't possibly leave the man now. Besides, I am still tied down by the rope. Even if I want to run away, Hyun would capture me again before I could even get to the academy. And I don't even know where we are. All I know we are deep inside the forest ground, areas where I had never ventured before. 

So when I heard the opening and closing of Hyun's bedroom door, I steadily and quietly make my way to my door. When I heard another sound of a door being opened and closed is when I twist the doorknob to open. Silently like a cat, I creep out of the room. 

The house is dark, except for that one lit lamp on the dining table which he has never put it off after our early fight in the house. I blink my eyes, already having adapted quickly to the darkness after all these days living with him and quietly walking towards the front door. 

I open the door by a bit, just enough to peak out through the gap to see if Hyun is already walking far or still at the front porch. To my delight, I can see him walking away and far from the house. 

I walk out the door and closed the door behind me quietly before quickly yet silently following him. It's also not hard to follow him, he leaves his black wisps behind like some markings of his presence as he walks. Both of us are so quiet walking inside the cave that the only the sounds I hear is from the sound of dripping water and the light stream of river somewhere around.

He keeps his back on me, walking wordlessly forward with his black cloak fluttering behind. He didn't notice anything happening behind his back - aka a certain little red cloak girl trailing his steps. I can feel my face pulling up into a smile at being able to follow and spy at Hyun like this successfully without getting caught. 

I wondered where is he going but the moment when I recognized the path to the main entrance cave is when I noted to myself that we are heading out. The entrance is close by, just around the corner and when Hyun turn into the corner, he disappeared momentarily from my sight. I quicken my pace before I could lose him but when I past the corner, I almost let out a scream when a hand suddenly yank on my arm. 

My head quickly turn to the source, eyes wide yet relief to see Hyun grumbling in front of me. "Thank goodness it's just you. I thought it was a troll for a second" I let it out while calming down my shock. At that moment I forgot about my mission on following him in secret.

"What the hell are you doing" he huffs out quietly, eyes glaring at my form. 

I blink and half a second later, I can feel my face heating up. Damn, I got caught. I shake my head, eyes looking elsewhere than his stern eyes. "Nothing. I was....I was just strolling. Yeah, yup, I was just strolling around" I nod my head, a bit to quickly for it to be subtle. He hums, still glaring and judging me hard right now. 

"Fancy seeing you strolling at the same time and the same path as me" he says and I take a second to think up an answer. I shrug and trying to smiling, laughing it out "Oh well, we got nice timing--and besides, this is the way to the entrance so of course we would take the same path" I lightly punch his arm to lighten up the mood but my smile and laughter soon died when I see him unimpressed. 

I look at the ground then

He scoffs yet he lowers his hands down to my hand. "Better practice your spying from now on, I could hear your footsteps from miles away. And you're not making yourself discreet at all, I can smell your presence clearly in this damn cave like cologne" he says and I slowly raise my head to look at him. He snorts, shaking his head before he grabs my hand and continue to walk while pulling me along like a sack of potatoes. 

I purse my lips to stop the curse from coming out. Instead, my feet fasten to match with his pace. But then, when I lower my eyes to see our intertwined hands, I don't feel like cursing anymore. My insides starting to warm up at the contact, even though his hand is cold as the walls of the cave. 

My mind was busy on our hands that I haven't noticed that we had got out the cave, until I hear some birds chirping in the distance. I raise my head to the night scene of the forest, feeling the cold air of the night brushing my figure. If it's not for my cloak I would be shivering right now.

The forest is dark yet calm to the eye. After having to live in the dark for quite a long time now, the dark didn't bother me as much as before. Even though I know I could just light up my ball of light but I stop myself from doing so. The air seems peaceful and I am not alone right now; being with Hyun makes it more bearable to walk through the night forest like this. 

"What are you thinking" 

I hear the said man talks beside me. His tone gruff and nonchalant without sparing me a glance yet I still smile at the conversation he is trying to start. "You" I simply say, making him turn his head to look at me. "I was thinking about you. I like walking like this with you" my smile grew when he keeps on staring blankly.  

He keeps on staring, trying to read through me like he often does and I am not bothered by it as much as before too. I prefer him staring while reading me than him ignoring my existence. After a while, he closes his eyes for a sec and turn to look back at the front. "I don't understand you" he lets out, barely audible for me to catch. 

I raise my eyebrows, "What do you not understand?" I ask back innocently, unknowingly tightening my hold of his hand. The longer I am holding his hand, the less the cold I am getting and his skin (albeit just a bit) turning warmer against my hold. He sighs heavily, "This" he shakes our hands and turn to stare at me. I blink my eyes innocently at him and he groans. 

He looks like he is fighting himself with something. "Why..." he sighs, pinching his nose bridge before letting his hand down. He has stopped walking. "Why you're doing this? Why you're so nice to me"

I blink my eyes at him.

"You should be cursing me, trying to kill me, trying to escape or furious at me, not this!" he shakes our hands again, eyes looking straight at my eyes.

"But you're the one who took my hand first--"

"You should smack my hands then! Pull your hand and push me away!" He cuts me off, "You shouldn't even accept me and seeking comfort from me. I'm your kidnapper! I've kidnapped you! You should hate me! You're going to die because of me, so why are you still being nice to me?!!" he huffs out, the more words he is saying the louder he becomes.

I stand there, blinking dumbly at his outburst. I didn't know that my nonchalant behaviour affected him this much. Sure, I did hate him because he took me away from my friends but that hatred keeps dissipating the more I get to spend time with him. "But I don't hate you" I hear myself saying.

He blinks.

"Well, not anymore" I add when his shoulders slouch down and sighs in despair, like he's given up. I give a squeeze of our hands, giving him some reassurance or just something to make him feel better.

He sighs again, "We're not supposed to be like this" he glances at our hands, "I'm not supposed to act around you like this. You're not even supposed to be like this either" he mumbles to himself, yet I can still hear him clearly. "You're going to die, I'm going to kill you....It's not supposed to be like this..." he adds again to himself, sounding so forlorn and sad while looking at our hands. 

I, myself, not sure what to say to his words. This whole situation did changed into something unexpected - Kyungsoo would flip if he knows I kissed the man who kidnapped me, who is still a stranger to me. But I can't seem to let myself hate him like how I should. 

The conversation ended just like that. Hyun continued to hold my hand while we walked together between the thick trees with no light on us except the light shining from the moon. He didn't say anything or tell me anything to where we are heading to but after hours (it felt like hours) of walking, I stare wide eyes at the sight of a town a few miles away. 

My head turns to look at Hyun, wondering why would he brings me to the town. He doesn't glance my way but I know he knows that I am looking at him in curiousity. 

"I'm not bringing you here because you're free" he simply states, quietly and barely audible in the night air, reminding me. "You followed me and I'm not going to cancel my plan because of you" 

"Why are we, I meant why do you want to go to the town?" I ask as we are getting closer to the buildings. There's no open shops at this hour, well it's understandable because it's probably almost 3 in the morning right now and people must all be asleep by now. 

I turn to look at Hyun alone, subsoncsiously scooting closer to him as we are walking through the shadows. "Do you want to buy something? Are you hungry?" 

He seems to be contemplating either to ignore me or snorting at my statement. No matter how he tries to be nonchalant to me, he never lose up the hold he has on my hand. "Can you please stop with your ridiculous thoughts" 

"I don't know where you want to go"

"Just shut up and follow me. You're the one who insisted to come trailing behind me" 

"I know but can't you at least tell me what are we doing here?"

He stops, sighing out before turning to me. We are standing in a dark alley with barely any lights from the street, dark shadows and wisps surrounding our figures, drowning us with darkness. Hyun stares at me, looking like he is thinking whether to tell me or not and eventually he decides to open his mouth.

"I'm going to find a weapon" 

I nod my head and waiting for him to tell me more about it but he seems to just stop there. I raise my eyebrows, "What weapon?"

He pauses, hardening his jaw as he keeps his stare at me, "A weapon that can end any life" 

There is silence coming after that, I continue to stare at him as his words come through my head.

He purses his lips, trying to gauge my reaction. 

"Wha-what, what kind of weapon is that?" I ask, feeling my pulse quicken at the meaning behind this search. A weapon that can kill any life -- to end my life. I swallow and put up a curious smile. "Is it a sword?" 

He continues to stare before he looks away. "Some say it's a small sword, some say it's a dagger, not sure but it's a weapon. A weapon made by a witch a long time ago even before this kingdom ever existed"

"And you know where it is?" I look at him, seeing the back of his head. He stares out at the quiet alley, eyes glaring up ahead before he hums very quietly to himself. 

"The library" he turns back to look at me. I blink as he continues, "Hera Academy's library" 

My eyes widen at the name. "The academy? We're going to the academy?" 

He stares unreadable at me before he nod once. "Yes" 

I open my mouth to say something but nothing comes out. He frowns at my expression before he pulls me to start walking again. Is it not until I see roof of my academy that I start to speak again. "Why would Hera keep such thing" I said quietly, still doubting why on earth the academy would keep something dangerous like that -- a weapon that take lives. 

However, I can't help but to think about, I'm back...I'm back and Kyungsoo is in there, probably still worrying sick of me. I gulp, suddenly feel pressure all of a sudden. My eyes go to Hyun's face, seeing his profile that isn't covered by his hood. When he senses me staring at him, he turns. 

He stares again like he usually does. Eyeing me, reading me before I feel he tightens his grip on my hand. "Don't even think about running away" 

I gulp again, turn to look away. "I wasn't thinking about that" 

"Yeah sure" he patronizes and pulling me closer than I would have expected him to do. 

I ignore his words but instead I said something else that's making me wonder. "I still don't believe Hera would have such dagger like that. If it's in the library, where's it kept then? I've been to the library hundreds times before, but there's no special about the place. Even the restriction section is boring with old scrolls and books" 

He stops, turning towards me. We are right in front of the gate, silently hiding in the dark shadows. I won't be surprise if Hyun had made the area more dark and eerie just to hide our presence. "Maybe it's in a secret space or room" he said, sounding unsure about it himself. 

I blink, finding this expression of him new and surprising. "Have you been to Hera before?" I asked, curious. 

He shakes his head and without me realizing I snort at him. He then frowns. 

"You want to go in there but you don't know the layout? How do you want to get inside the library then?" 

"I don't need to know a place to get there. I have eyes and legs, I can search for it" 

I hum, make sense, I thought in my head. 

He shakes his head, glaring at me. "Walk" he ordered, pulling me again to walk fast towards the gates. My heart is beating fast the nearer we get. My eyes widened when Hyun just casually made the guard fall to the ground. His body fell silently due to Hyun's smoke cushioned the impact and made it no sound. 

"Is he dead?" I gasp silently, peeking at the poor guard who is just doing his job in the middle of the night.

Hyun grunts "No" and starts walking again. "Now show me the library" he ordered me again, looking at me when we are hiding at a dark corner at the lecture halls area. "You said you've been there before. Now quickly show me" 

I frown, disliking how he is ordering me. "Don't want to" I turn my head away. He shakes my hand he's holding to get my attention. He even growls at me when I keep on avoiding his face. 

He breathes threateningly under his breath. "Show me or else I'm going to do something you will regret" 

"I don't want" I huff and glance at him just a bit. "But if you say please and ask nicely, I'll consider. I'm not your slave you can order around, I have feelings too" 

He then stops, no sounds coming from him. It makes me confused so I turn to look at him. He stares at me. But this time he isn't glaring or reading. He is just looking at me, a bit dumbfounded maybe. And it makes me confused why he is looking at me like that. "Why...why you're looking at me like that? Did I say something wrong?" I look up, blinking my eyes in question at him. His hood is so wide and big, I have to lean a bit close to see his eyes. His hair also didn't help, it's messy and almost covering his eyes. 

He blinks, surprise just the slighest at me leaning in close to him. He looks at my face and I swear I saw his eyes going down to my lips before he his own. I don't know why that action makes my heart move but it did and I'm not sure how to interpret that. My eyes then unconsciously go down to his lips when I see them move.

"C-Can--" he clears his throat a bit, turn his head to the side. "Can you please show me the library" he said it so quietly that I almost couldn't hear him. But I did and he said them in the softest tone I had ever heard from him since I stayed with him. My heart beats again and unknowingly my lips had pullled up into a smile.

He is still looking away from me, being all shy and embarrassed. I smile again and give our hands a squeeze, gaining his attention. He finally turns to me and wordlessly, I pull him as we start walking again. 

And we are walking quietly towards the library, sneakily around the academy. I feel so bad. I feel like I'm sinning by sneaking around in the middle of the night like this. Logically, I should go back to my room or go find Kyungsoo at his room but no, I am helping this hooded cloak man that is my kidnapper who wants to kill me. 

I purse my lips, feeling guilty yet my heart tells me what I'm doing is not wrong. 

I felt a gentle squeeze of my hand that made me blink, snapping out from my thoughts. I finally realize that we had stopped walking. I raise my head, look around and shocked to see that I had unconsciously brought us in front of the student rooms, specifically the boys area.

The library is close by to the boys area and I often use this route whenever I went to visit Kyungsoo. I didn't realize my feet will naturally move and picked this route. My head raises up at the building. "My...My bestfriend's there...at the 3rd floor" I heard my mouth let it out quietly, my eyes staring at the said floor. There wasn't any respond, Hyun didn't say anything and just watch me looking silently at the far door of Kyungsoo's room. "He must be worried sick. I've been gone for a while now" my mouth continue to say as the guilt continues to spread. 

Hyun still didn't reply and after a few more seconds I sigh, shake my head and turn around. Wordlessly again, I start walking again with Hyun following silently and our hands still attached. 

"Well, this is it. We're here" I said, looking at the wooden door of the library. I touch the door and feel the smooth texture of the surface before I glance at Hyun to see him looking at me. "What?" 

He looks at me and at the door before he looks again at me. "Why didn't you go" 

I blink, "What?" 

"Your friend" he glances at the way we came from earlier. "Why didn't you go to your friend?" 

I open and close my mouth before I give him a long look. "I just didn't" Is what I answered, my heart starts to beat again when he comes closer to me and tilts his head. "You said I can't run away so I didn't" I added and he looks even more confused. 

"Why?