I was dizzy. My head was spinning round and round. Every time I stood up, I felt like my feet didn’t step on the floor properly. So I decided to just stay home that day, resting peacefully on my bed with a bottle of herbal oil near me. I didn’t normally use herbal oil, but that time I suddenly felt its smell was so soothing.

That was almost one week after we came back to Korea, following JYC's excellent comeback tour in Japan. I could easily suspect the headache I was having was a side effect of jet lag or something. Yunho was so worried, he had even thought about skipping work.

“How could I leave you like this? No, I’m staying home,” he said hard-headedly that morning. He was almost leaving when he witnessed me put a hand on my mouth before running hastily to the toilet, throwing out everything I had eaten for breakfast that morning. He then helped me to our bedroom, looking at me as if I had just thrown out some blood.

“I said I’m fine, dear oppa,” I smiled weakly at him, which he interpreted as another reason to stay home. But he knew I was almost as stubborn as him, only a little bit worse. He knew I wouldn’t accept the fact he skipped his routine from running the agency which was previously known as SM. JYC was the owner of that agency. They voted Yunho as CEO with Jaejoong as his partner. All five worked there, Junsu filled the spot as the master of Performing Art, Yoochun in Acting, and Changmin acted as professor in division he had created by his own: How to Bully Seniors and Talk Wittily before the Camera. They hired some famous names in entertainment field to teach the trainee, but sometimes they did it themselves. That was why Yunho was always too busy. Besides, the company was ready to take a big step. They were in the middle of a discussion with a Japanese production house for Yoohwan’s upcoming movie.

“It might be because of our journey in Japan,” I added. “It’s not that bad, I don’t even have fever.”

Sitting on the edge of the bed, Yunho put his hand on my forehead. He exhaled in relief, but his face was still looking concerned. “Are you sure you want me to leave?”

“I’ll let you know if there’s something wrong,” I reassured him.

Still hesitant, Yunho had no choice but head off to work. It hadn’t been eleven, but I had already received ten texts and five calls from him, all asking how I felt. I had just finished sending him a reply, saying that he should concentrate on work instead of attacking me with his anxiety, when the bell rang. As soon as I opened the door, someone ran into my arm and hugged me tight.

“Eunmi-ah?”

“Unnie, I’m missing you so much…,” the guest said. 27 years old, a chemistry teacher, and Kim Junsu’s fiancée, that was Shim Eunmi, although Junsu called her Ami-chan since her mother was Japanese. They met on a charity event which Junsu and his FC Men team held the year before. The event was free for children of all age, and Eunmi was there to accompany her middle-school students. She and her students were about to leave when a boy kicked a ball which unintentionally hit Junsu on his head. That was how they met and how their love began.

“Junsu-oppa said that Yunho-oppa told him that you’re not feeling well recently, that’s why I’m here,” she chattered cheerfully once she had released me from her suffocating hug. She then flicked through my face before adding, “And you do look pale, unnie, are you okay? Intense flight wasn’t good for you. By the way, Junsu-oppa’s mother asked me to give you this; she said it will be good.”

She took out a clear bottle from her purse. I tried hard to replace the groan which was almost escaping my mouth with a thankful smile once I saw herbal medicine in that bottle. It was green and thick liquid, and the first thing that came to my mind was its taste must be horrible.

“Thanks,” I invited her to our living room, gesturing her to sit on the sofa. “That’s very nice of her. So now you meet her quite regularly, eh? Send her my thanks, will you please?”

Eunmi flushed. It was nice to know how she and Junsu’s family seemed to get along since she would be a part of them soon. The wedding would be held on August 23, 2015, one month from that event.

“Unnie, it feels strange,” she said self-consciously. “Actually, it’s not the wedding that troubles me, but this anxiety of entering their family. Will they accept me the way I am?”

I laughed, instantly remembering the very same feeling I had on the early days of my own marriage. Every visit to Yunho’s hometown felt so awkward I thought I would die of embarrassment. Moreover, I knew Yunho’s mother didn’t like me very much for many reasons, mainly because she was impatient for a grandchild.

I patted the soon-to-be-bride’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine. You know they’ve been always trying to love you. You just need to show them your love, too, the same kind of love you’re giving me right now.”

Eunmi smiled from ear to ear. “Thanks, unnie,” she said. “Have you had lunch? What about I cook something for you so we can have lunch together?”

“That’s what I’ve been waiting to hear,” I joked. We laughed, but suddenly stopped because I heard my phone ringing. Not so long after, Eunmi’s phone started ringing, too. We laughed again before picking them up.

“Baby, how are you feeling right now?” Yunho’s warm voice greeted my ear. On my side, I could hear Eunmi was answering to Junsu’s call.

“Better, oppa,” I smiled. “Eunmi is with me right now. Have you had lunch?”

“No, not yet,” I could detect Yunho’s words were full of excitement. “Good that she’s there. Hey, have you heard? Jaejoong’s Suyoung-noona has just given birth to a baby girl!!!”

“Waaahh, really? Such a good news!! I’m happy to hear that!” I exclaimed.

“She is in hospital right now. Jaejoong-hyung said she’d be happy if we gave her a visit. But I told him that…”

“That we can’t go there because I’m not feeling well? Oh, come on, oppa, I really wanna see them…”

“Baby, your health concerns me the most…”

“I’m fine. Trust me. Besides, Eunmi’s with me. We can go there together. I’ll see you in the hospital, okay?”

“Hyunnie-baby…”

“I am fine, Yunnie-baby,” I said. Yunho sighed.

“I should’ve known I would never win against you,” he said helplessly. “But promise me just this once.”

“All right. I love you.”

“I love you, too. Have a safe ride.”

“Yeah, you too,” I hung up the phone with a smile. A baby, the loveliest present God give to a mother, was added to our big family. I could see Eunmi had just accepted the same news from Junsu as well. I let her drive my car to the hospital, but we made a stop to buy our gifts and a bunch of white roses.

While Eunmi was paying for the flowers, a man with his little girl caught my eyes. The girl was so pretty with her milky white skin, her chubby cheeks, and her Dora-styled black hair. Judging from her speech, she must not be older than five years old.

“Soobinnie, have you picked umma’s favorite flower?” asked the man to his daughter. She answered with a brief ‘yes’ and a bright cute smile, pointing her index finger to a bucket of white lily.

He man ruffled the little girl’s hair. “Good,” he said. “They will look beautiful on our table, won’t they? I hope umma enjoys her birthday dinner…”

“I want to sing happy birthday,” said Soobin happily. Her enthusiasm was contagious. While watching them, I traveled to somewhere in the future. Yunho would be in the same shop, choosing flowers for my birthday present with Jiyeol, our cute little daughter.

“Jiyeol-ah, which one umma would like to have, red or pink?”

“Umma loves red. Jiyeol loves red, too!!”

“Haha, you’re right. Umma’s a Cassiopeia, she’s obsessed with red. Do you think umma will like the cake we baked for her?”

“Don’t worry, appa, the cake is very delicious. Appa should bake one for my birthday!”

“I’ll make you one for your birthday…”

“Unnie, are you with me?” Eunmi had stood in front of me, waving her hand to catch my attention.

“Oh,” I was snapped back to reality. “Yeah, you finished? Let’s go…”

“Unnie, what are you looking at?” Eunmi looked around to satisfy her curiosity. She finally fixed her eyes on Soobin and her father.

“I’ve always been longing for a child,” I sighed. “Since… forever…”

“You’ll have one soon, unnie. You just need to wait patiently,” Eunmi held my hand.

Something heavy pressed my chest again. I felt it was so unfair: people kept consoling me with the same words, over and over again, while in fact none of them had ever had to go through that kind of problem before. No one would really feel what I felt.

“Woooaahh, this princess here is surely her mother’s duplicate!!” said Yunho happily to the baby in my arms. She weighed 3.5 kilograms with 52 centimeters length. She looked so angelic in her sleep.

It was our turn to visit Suyoung in her room, since the hospital wouldn’t allow more than half a dozen visitors at once. The other visitors were waiting outside; Junsu and Eunmi, Yoochun and Reny and their six months old baby in her tummy, Jaejoong’s girlfriend, Dani, and Changmin, who had just shockingly introduced his girl, Kim Jinhee to us. She was very polite actually, but she looked very shy. Facing Korean hottest stars made her blush to the darkest shade of red.

“You two should have one, too!” Suyoung, who glowed in happiness, said to us. She looked really happy; she had wished for a girl and after a couple of boys, God gave her one. Both Suyoung and her husband repeatedly shared looks to one another, the looks full of love and admiration, the gaze saying ‘I love you’ without words. At that rate, even the gloomy hospital room she was in seemed to be brighter and more pleasant.

“Ah, we’re not in a rush,” said Yunho. He hung his arm around me and caressed my arm with his hand. “We’re enjoying our umpteenth honeymoon, right, jagiya?”

You would think that with Yunho’s kindness, I would have no problems dealing with that no-baby condition. But I’m a normal woman. It’s every woman’s dream to have a child of her own, and so is mine. The baby in my arms, I couldn’t help but pretend that she was a miracle sent for me. I had to hold my tears realizing how wonderful holding a baby felt. Her tiny fingers, her fragrant breath, her fragile being… The princess yawned for several times in my arms before crying out loud.

“Aww, she must be hungry,” said Suyoung. “Bring her to me, Hyuntae-ah…”

“Tsk, do you even know how to hold a baby?” said Jaejoong sharply once the baby was safe with her mother. “What did you do to make Jiyeol cry?”

“I didn’t do… Wait, Jiyeol?”

“Song Jiyeol, my niece’s name,” said Jaejoong. “Yunho gave that name to her.”

The sudden spark I felt inside because of Jaejoong sharp comments replaced by disappointment upon hearing the name Jiyeol. I threw a look at Yunho, but he could only avoid my eyes.

“Hyuntae-ah, please listen to me!” Yunho chased me all the corridor to our apartment. We had been acting like cat and mouse since we left the hospital. In my anger, I had refused to talk to him. I opened the door harsh, walked to our bedroom, and threw my purse and myself later carelessly to the bed.

“Hyuntae, where are you??” I could hear Yunho entered the apartment too, but I didn’t answer him. He found me, and yet I tried my best not to say a word to him. Jiyeol… I wouldn’t be that angry if he gave that name to Jihye’s baby, but to Jaejoong’s niece? How dare he?

“Baby…,” he released a sigh. The bed made a sound as Yunho crept on it to reach me. “Babe, I’m sorry…”

“Are you that impatient of waiting for our own baby girl?” I said harshly, back against him. “Are you disappointed because I can’t give you one, so you gave the name Jiyeol to someone else’s baby?”

“No, you’ve misunderstood…”

“Oh? Tell me where I’ve misunderstood, Jung Yunho!!” I replied. “Is your love to Jaejoong really this big, even bigger than your love to your wife?”

“Hey, what does Jaejoong-hyung have to do with this? I thought we’re arguing about Jiyeol?”

“She is his niece!!” I yelled, finally facing Yunho with my arms crossed in front of my chest. “And he must’ve been bugging you to give our future baby’s name to her!”

Yunho looked surprised at my accusation. “Why are you being like this suddenly?”

“It’s because of you!! You and your unhealthy relationship with your best friend!!”

Unable to hold it anymore, I walked away to the kitchen to find myself a glass of water. One glass, two glasses, three glasses… I consumed three big glasses of water to calm myself. A series of deep breath told me Yunho was watching silently.

“You don’t know how hard it feels,” I slowly said, “to see everyone being happy with babies, while I…”

I stopped to secretly wipe one bead of tear that had escaped my eyes. “You always said you wanna name our baby girl with the name Jiyeol. But now, what is it now? You gave it to Jaejoong’s newborn niece. He’s had your precious friendship, something even I could never have. He’s shared so many, too many ups and downs with you since your trainee days. And now, his niece got our baby’s name. What else will you give to him?”

I didn’t really care anymore if I sounded jealous and childish. I couldn’t take being always number two after Jaejoong in Yunho’s list.

“You’ve really misunderstood…,” suddenly Yunho gave me a back hug. He rested his chin on my shoulder and despite feeling angry, I felt somewhat relaxed. “I don’t have that kind of relationship with Jaejoong-hyung.”

“Liar,” I instantly accused.

“I’m not. If I loved him more than friends, do you think I’d marry you?”

“But he seems seeing you more than friends,” I blurted out.

Yunho chuckled. “If he really does, how come he hasn’t proposed yet? He should’ve known I’ve been waiting for years…”

“Oppa!!!” I turned around to give Yunho a pout.

He laughed louder and pinched my nose, “I’m just kidding, Hyunnie-baby.”

“It’s not funny…,” I mumbled.

“If Jaejoong-hyung really saw me as lover, he wouldn’t have this plan to propose Dani anytime soon,” Yunho caressed my back. What he said surprised me that my eyes enlarged to the size of coins.

“Really? He’d propose her?”

“He told me yesterday,” Yunho nodded.

I was distracted for a while. Dani had been waiting for Jaejoong’s proposal since Junsu proposed Eunmi. Without Jaejoong knowing, she called me whenever she had spare time, ranting about how insensitive Jaejoong was.

“Now that’s really big news!” I said. “She’ll be very happy!!”

“I know. And you’ll be, too, won’t you? Jaejoong will soon give his vow to Dani, you have nothing to worry about. You could say goodbye to your rivalry against him,” Yunho chuckled. “But don’t tell Dani anything. Jaejoong will make it a surprise, I guess.”

Yunho bent down slightly to give me a kiss, but I pushed him on the chest.

“Yah, who said you can kiss me?” I snapped.

“Uh, oh, my wife is really mad…,” Yunho started. “Hey, you don’t wanna know why I gave the name Jiyeol to Suyoung-noona’s baby?”

“Is it even important now?” I muttered. I started to feel disappointed yet again. Lowering my eyes, I tried to hide my feeling from Yunho’s sight. But he is the U-know, he knows everything. He stared at me for some more seconds before opening his arms widely.

“Come here,” he ordered. I complied, throwing myself into his arms. He hugged me for a while before mumbling incoherently, “Jihyun… Soohyun… Joohyun… and if it’s a boy, it’ll be Hyunho… Hyunjoong… Hyunbin…”

“What?” I raised my head to stare at his eyes.

“The very reason why I gave the name Jiyeol to Suyoung-noona’s baby girl is… It’s a beautiful name, I won’t deny, but… I want our children to carry their mother’s name…,” he said.

Hearing those words of him and seeing the love in his eyes, the love he has only for me, tell me, would you ever be angry anymore?

Park Hyuntae vs. Kim Jaejoong

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No, I wouldn't :p

Who can be angry to Yunnie??