This is completely ridiculous. At this point, Seulgi isn’t even sure if Joohyun exists or is just a pure figment of her imagination. Because it seems, no one knows who Joohyun is. 

 

They go around knocking on each apartment in the four storey building and they’ve all had varied responses of, “Oh, there was someone living there?” or “Ah, that’s her name?” or “I saw her once but never again.” 

 

“Maybe you were a huge when you were alive.” Seulgi smirks but immediately regrets it when she sees the look of utter confusion on Joohyun’s face. 

 

“Yeah, maybe.” 

 

“Hey, come on, I was just teasing.” and if she could, she’d nudge the ghost by the shoulder.

 

Joohyun shakes her head, “I mean… What if you’re right though? Maybe I was… maybe this is my punishment. Not yours. Maybe I was meant to suffer in limbo and you’re just the poor soul that got caught up in it.” 

 

“Joohyun… come on, cheer up. We’re just on the first item on your to-do list!” Seulgi says, waving the paper that Joohyun made her write down. “Let’s take a walk around the neighborhood, maybe that will help jog your memory or something.”

 

It doesn’t help. 

 

Well, not really. 

 

Nothing triggers Joohyun’s memory but it does help in making the ghost feel happier. They end up at the nearby park, with some kids playing with bubbles of all sizes and Seulgi sits on the bench as Joohyun runs around with them, attempting to catch the bubbles. Then, just as she remembers she can’t touch them and is ready to start sulking, her eyes just grow in amazement as she watches the bubbles pass through her. She calls out to Seulgi, and points at herself, and Seulgi can’t help but give a thumbs up and smile.

 

Joohyun too is smiling, and Seulgi realizes it's a smile that Seulgi has never seen before. It’s not her smile when she successfully scares Seulgi, or when Seulgi listens to her nagging. It’s a look of pure awe and happiness on the ghost’s face as she enjoys what’s happening around her. 

 

On instinct, Seulgi brings her phone out, hoping to capture the moment. But as the photo is captured and she’s greeted with a photo without Joohyun in it, her hands begin to itch, the sudden feeling of wanting to draw again gnawing at her. 

 

She shuts her eyes tight, and her hands turn from itchy to outright shaking, and voices begin to fill her head. “Would you stop that?!” “That’s literally going to get us nowhere!” “Do you think selling your drawings will put food on the table?! Might as well sell your body! That’ll earn more!” “Babe, no, I didn’t mean that. I think your art is good, but everyone else thinks otherwise. I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

 

Before the voice gets any louder, her head suddenly starts spinning causing her to snap her eyes open. Joohyun’s brows are knitted together as she pulls back her hand, “Sorry, you weren’t listening to me so I stuck my hand through your head again.” 

 

“It’s okay.” 

 

Joohyun sits beside her, (a small look of pride on her face as she doesn’t pass through the park bench) “Are you okay?” 

 

“Y-yeah. I’m just really tired I guess.” Seulgi forces a small smile, “You know me, I’m not used to going outside anymore.”  

 

Joohyun nods, “Okay. Let’s go home then so you can rest.” 

 

The walk back to the apartment is quiet as Joohyun walks behind her, and Seulgi pretends she can’t feel the heat of Joohyun’s stare. She’s glad though that for once, the spirit chose not to annoy her. By the time they reach the bottom of the stairwell, they can hear the distant sound of banging on a door and shouts of her name. “SEULGI! HEY SEULGI!” The two turn to each other in confusion before Seulgi sprints up the stairs and she mentally curses as Joohyun just disappears into her void and only reappears when Seulgi’s finally at the top step. 

 

“What-” Seulgi wheezes, “the ,” she takes a deep breath, “Yerim” 

 

The culprit banging on the door turns around in confusion, “Where the hell did you come from?!” 

 

“So I guess she’s a friend of yours?” Joohyun asks, and Seulgi tries to nod subtly. “Wow, you have friends?!” 

 

Seulgi ignores Joohyun’s comment and turns to her cousin, “I came from the park.” 

 

“You?? At the park?? With people??” 

 

“Oh shut up, Yerim. It could happen. Besides, I wanted to familiarize myself with the neighborhood, you know? Now, move aside so I can get in my apartment.”

 

Eventually, they settle around the couch, pizza, chicken wings and beer spread out on the table.  

 

“WAIT, YERM! Use a coaster.” 

 

“Since when do you use a coaster?” Yerim scoffs. 

 

Seulgi glances at Joohyun who looks like she’s about to die another death at all the mess on her mahogany table. “What? It’s real wood! It’s not like it’s hard to do anyway since I got a bunch of ‘em.” Seulgi says, Joohyun’s entire lecture on the importance of coasters and the hassle of removing water stains still deeply ingrained into her brain. 

 

Yerim looks confused for a moment, and her eyes roam around the clean apartment and she just smiles, and places her feet up on the couch, “See, I told you coming to Seoul was going to be good for you.” 

 

Yerim is talking but Seulgi isn’t really processing what she’s saying. It’s not that she’s doing it on purpose, she’s trying her best to focus but it’s more difficult than she expected. It’s been a while since it’s just been her and Yerim, just the two of them hanging out. They’d talk on the phone often and Yerim used to visit her when she lived in Jeju but since the incident… they haven’t really been able to hang out. And nothing is awkward, Seulgi swears. It’s just that Seulgi isn’t used to having someone’s attention for so long. If they were in a group, Seulgi could keep quiet and blend into the background to space out. But with it just being the two of them, Seulgi is having a lot more difficulty trying to focus and participate. 

 

“She’s cute. When she smiles she looks like that Pokemon… the turtle one. Uh… what’s his name…” Joohyun moves closer to the young woman, studying her features. If only Yerim knew that a ghost was literally inches away from her face. “AH! SQUIRTLE! Duh. That was so obvious.”

 

Seulgi rubs her temples, pretending it’s the result of the beer and not her annoying companion. 

 

“By the way, don’t forget you have the job interview next Thursday, okay? It’s at 3PM, please don’t be late and wash your hair.” 

 

Joohyun snorts, “I agree, you should wash your hair.” 

 

“I wash my hair!” Joohyun and Yerim both give her twin looks, an eyebrow raised in disbelief. “I do! Just… it’s just been a while! I don’t go out! I don’t need to!”

 

“A tad defensive there, unnie.” Yerim grins. 

 

“You guys were just giving me the same exact look!” 

 

“You guys? It’s literally just me.” 

 

Seulgi blinks, “I mean, your look was so judgmental I felt there were multiple you!”

 

“Nice. Good save.” Joohyun smirks, having moved behind Seulgi to pretend and pat her on the head. 

 

“Just wash it, okay? Also, unnie, if you get the job, you better treat me. Technically, you should pay for dinner tonight cause I found you this place!” 

 

“She’s the reason you’re here in my apartment?” Joohyun scoffs, “I change my mind, let me kick her .” 

 

Seulgi tries not to roll her eyes, but an idea pops into her head. If Yerim was the one who got her the apartment, then that means she knows the owner or whoever rented the place out for Joohyun. 

 

“Fine, I’ll treat you next time. But I have a question, how’d you get this place?” 

 

“Seulgi, what are you doing?” Joohyun hisses. 

 

“You said you knew the owners of the apartment right?” 

 

“Seulgi, stop! I don’t want to hear it anymore today.”

 

“And I mean, you got it at such a good price too.” Seulgi continues, “So, did you meet the owner?” 

 

“Seulgi!” Joohyun snaps but Seulgi doesn’t pay her any attention, too focused on the possibility of learning more.

 

“Oh… well…” Yerim scratches the back of neck, “I don’t really know the actual owner.” 

 

“Oh.” 

 

“But- the one that told me ‘bout it, well, she posted it on Facebook. She’s a friend from college but we don’t really talk anymore. So I think the owner was her friend? Something like that.” Yerim sighs, “It was awkward to ask what happened too cause everyone seemed so solemn when I first checked it out? I hear though that it’s some tragedy. I’m not sure what it is… but... Whatever it was, well, I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.” 

 

Yerim’s words cut through Seulgi, her mind wondering what sort of tragedy could have happened to Joohyun. Sure, Joohyun would joke that she was murdered but if it were true? It bothers Seulgi more than she’d like. Though, she realizes, if she’s in shock, what more Joohyun? She whips her head around to check on her companion, only to find that she’s disappeared. 

 

“Are you okay, unnie?” 

 

“Yeah… sorry, I thought I heard something.” 

 

“Sorry, I don’t know much. I don’t want to scare you out of the apartment or anything.” 

 

“It’s fine. I like this place a lot actually.” Seulgi replies, trying her best to remain calm and not call out for the ghost. 

 

“That’s good.” Yerim says, as she continues to talk about life and work. But the more Yerim talks, the more the gnawing feeling in Seulgi’s stomach grows. She’s absolutely sure that Joohyun is fine. What’s the worst that could happen to her, right? It’s not like she can die again. Or… what if, discovering she actually is dead was all she needed for her to pass on? But passing on in such a sudden manner… it doesn’t feel right… Joohyun deserves better and… and Seulgi couldn’t give her that. 

 

It doesn’t help that Yerim is still talking. She talked about work and now she’s talking about Seulgi’s job interview again and god. It’s too much. She can’t focus. She can’t understand what Yerim is saying. She’s thinking about Joohyun, how she ed that up with just a simple question and Joohyun told her to stop but she didn’t and Joohyun must be mad at her and she can’t even apologize and she’s such a mess and - Yerim is still talking about the job and- -

 

Seulgi can’t do it. 

 

She can’t do any of this.

 

Yes, Yerim’s potential job offer was the push she needed to leave Jeju but now she can’t help but feel that it’s wrong. She is incredibly grateful for Yerim, but the last thing she wants to do is disappoint her. The people she’ll be meeting are Yerim’s colleagues, people who love Yerim and can see how brilliant she is. And when they meet her? Seulgi is sure they’ll be disappointed at how different they are. Her cousin is bright and confident and Seulgi is… well, she’s still this huge mess. She knows that if she shows up, it’s just one step closer to messing up the interview and disappointing her cousin and maybe even messing up her relationship with her cousin. 

 

“Yeri-” Seulgi says, more like whispers, so the younger woman keeps going. 

 

“We’ll get to work together soon, unnie!” Yerim pumps her first in excitement, “I can’t wait to work with you, it’s gonna be a blast.” 

 

And Seulgi hears it, but all her brain is processing is the underlying, more realistic and utterly pathetic, “I need to keep an eye out on you wherever you go.” 

 

She closes her eyes, gathering the courage, and takes a deep breath before shouting, “YERI!” 

 

“Yeah, unnie? You okay?” 

 

“I- I’m not gonna do it. The job interview. Thank you, for the opportunity. But I’m not gonna do it.” 

 

“But unnie-” 

 

Seulgi shakes her head, “I don’t want to be a burden. Just being back in Seoul, you have to take care of me… I don’t want that burden on you at work too.”

 

“But what about money! You still have to pay for everything-” 

 

“I have a lot of money saved up. And, I think there’s a bookstore down the street that’s hiring. I can stock books for a while, or take photos for their marketing… do inventory.. it’s fine. It’s… I’ll be okay.” Seulgi sighs, “I just… I don’t want to add to all this. I’m very grateful, Yerim, but… I can’t.”

 

Yerim reaches forward, holding Seulgi’s hands in hers, “Unnie, please, I swear it’s not a hassle and you’re not a burden at all. I want to do this. I want to help you.” 

 

“I don’t want to disappoint you.” 

 

“You won’t, I’m sure of it.” 

 

Seulgi releases their hands to down her beer (and as an excuse to look away from Yerim’s pleading eyes), “I know myself, Yerim, I’m a mess. I know I’m a mess. You don’t need to be associated with me. I don’t want to bring you down.” 

 

“Things are just messy now, but you’re not a mess, unnie. Look how much you’ve done today! You cleaned this place up, you’re bathing. You went outside! You even cooked for yourself based on the dirty dishes. You’re making progress day by day and I’m so proud of you and… please… I just want to help you.” 

 

Seulgi doesn’t have the heart to tell her the truth that nothing much has changed. Had Joohyun not annoyed her into cleaning up this morning before they left, Yerim would have seen the true state of how Seulgi lives but that’s too much to explain so all she says is, “I don’t want your kindness to blow up in your face, Yerm. Just drop it, please?” 

 

“But-” 

 

“Yerim, enough.” 

 

Yerim stares at Seulgi for what feels like an eternity, but eventually she nods, “Okay, but do me a favor and think it over at least. Please? I won’t cancel your interview just yet.” 

 

“Fine.” 

 

“Thank you, unnie.” 

 

Seulgi closes her eyes again, and she can still feel Yerim staring at her. She wonders if Yerim is angry with her. Or disappointed. Or if she pities her. Probably all three. “I’m actually really tired, Yerm, it’s been a while since I’ve been out… is it okay if we end this here tonight? You can drop by some other time.” 

 

And Yerim sees the lie, of course she does, but thankfully she doesn’t fight it and gathers her things and lets Seulgi walk her downstairs to get a cab. 

 

As soon as Yerim’s taxi drives away, Seulgi’s body goes on autopilot. She trudges up the four flights of stairs, opens the door to her apartment and makes a beeline for the refrigerator. She hopes to see Joohyun inside it, laughing at her shock, and she can’t help but feel worse that Joohyun still isn’t back yet.

 

She sighs, and grabs whatever she can. The television is barely a distraction. She can see the variety show hosts laughing and doing ridiculous things but all she hears is a buzz in her ears. 

 

Maybe this was a mistake. Moving back here. Maybe she was better off in Jeju, waiting for work to come, and just going through the motions. Now, here, she’s just more… aware. She’s aware of how her parents look at her, at how Seungwan is worried, at how Yerim is hopeful… and if she were farther away, it was easier to ignore. No one would drop by unannounced and offer her things. Their, no, her friends gave up on her early on. 

 

It must really for Joohyun to not only be dead but to be stuck to a pathetic human like her. If she were with Seungwan or Yerim, or anyone but her, Seulgi is sure they would’ve figured it out already and helped her pass on. And when Seulgi tries to be useful, she just goes about it the wrong way and may have lost Joohyun permanently. God. She should’ve asked Joohyun’s permission before butting into her personal life out of nowhere. She should’ve listened when Joohyun told her to stop. How could she up just trying to help? 

 

How could she literally lose a ghost that was tied to her? 

 

How could she not do anything right? 

 

“HELLO? Earth to Seulgi? Are you really going to ignore me?” 

 

Seulgi’s eyes snap open, “Joohyun? Is that you?” 

 

“Who else would it be?” 

 

“I thought you left.” 

 

Joohyun hums, “Now, get up!!!” 

 

“Joohyun, indoor voice, please.” Seulgi groans and she looks around and realizes that she’s had a whole lot to drink already since Yerim left, “Some of us aren’t sober.” 

 

Joohyun clicks her tongue in annoyance, “Is this what happens when I disappear? I’ve told you time and time again to at least drink water in between! Can you at least drink some water now?” 

 

“In a bit.” 

 

“Seulgi, you’re gonna end up passing out at this rate and the only thing in your system is some pizza and alcohol!” 

 

“Fiiiiiiiine.” Seulgi huffs, forcing herself to make her way into the kitchen to chug an entire bottle of water. Joohyun watches her the entire time, making sure she finishes it. Then, she makes her way back to the couch. “Now, let me lay down.” 

 

“The room is literally a few steps away! Your neck is going to hurt if you sleep on the couch!”

 

“Fiiiiiiine.” Seulgi grumbles, then shuffles into the room before collapsing face first onto the bed. 

 

“Won’t you change? You’ve been wearing that since this morning.” 

 

Seulgi waves Joohyun off and closes her eyes. She hears Joohyun huff but she says nothing else. “Joohyun, aren’t you proud though?” 

 

“Proud of what? How you’re barely sober enough to change into pajamas?” 

 

She opens her eyes for a moment to send a lopsided grin Joohyun’s way. “I remembered to use the coaster.” 

 

“You idiot.” 

 

----

 

When Seulgi wakes up, she feels like her head has gone through a washing machine. Not that it’s a new or foreign feeling. She wakes up and Joohyun is sitting at the edge of the bed, thankfully not nagging just yet. Even in the sunlight, it’s strange to Seulgi how she can really see Joohyun. She’s not that translucent and if anything, the sunlight makes it seem like she’s glowing. 

 

“Stop staring.” 

 

“I wasn’t staring. You were just in the general direction of where I was looking.” 

 

“Mhmm, sure. You tell yourself that.” 

 

“You’re so annoying. Why are you here anyway?” 

 

Joohyun rolls her eyes, “Weren’t you the one last night wondering if I left? Besides, do you really think I’d be hanging around you if I had a choice?”

 

“How you wound me.” Seulgi replies, a hand on her chest in mock offense.

 

Joohyun’s voice suddenly turns soft, “How are you feeling?” 

 

“How do you think?” 

 

Seulgi expects a full lecture on why she should stop stuffing her face with fast food and alcohol, but she doesn’t get it. Instead Joohyun says, “Just drink lots of water, there should be some medicine in the leftmost drawer in the kitchen. Then take a bath and get changed.” 

 

“Where are we going?” 

 

“All that plus food will help you feel better. Besides,” Joohyun says, eyeing Seulgi’s body just enough for Seulgi to want to hide under her blankets, “I don’t think you’re in any state to cook. I saw a cafe while we were walking yesterday.”

 

“Why are you being so nice to me?” 

 

But Joohyun says nothing and disappears. 

 

---

 

The walk to the cafe is quiet, Joohyun leads the way, and if she was still angry and bothered by what she learned last night, she doesn’t show it all. 

 

“Oh, there are more people today than I thought…” Joohyun mumbles as Seulgi opens the cafe door for them.

 

“That’s cause it’s a Monday,” Seulgi mumbles under her breath. 

 

“I’m a ghost, Seulgi. Time does not matter to me.” Joohyun says before letting her eyes wander around the shop. “Seulgi! I remember this place! I mean- at least I think I do!” 

 

“You do?!” Seulgi says, a little too loudly, causing the Monday morning crowd to look at her strangely. 

 

“Uhm- sorry-”

 

“Maybe you should wear those wireless earphones so if you’re talking to me you won’t look crazy.” Joohyun suggests, her eyes never leaving the store’s interiors. “I think you have one in your tote bag.” 

 

“Were you going through my stuff?!” Seulgi hisses under her breath. 

 

“I was trying to figure out what I can touch okay! Not my fault you leave me bored most of the time.” 

 

“What are you? A pet that I have to keep entertained all day?” 

 

“Nope, just the soul of a young woman you murdered.” Joohyun smirks.

 

“I told you I did not murder-” 

 

An awkward clearing of the throat stops Seulgi mid-sentence and the two snap their heads to the cashier who is trying their best to remain professional despite Seulgi definitely talking about murder. “Excuse me, miss? I’m ready to take your order.” 

 

“Oh- uh- right-”

 

“Order the hot chocolate! If I remember correctly, it’s really good! And the choco banana waffle!” Joohyun instructs.

 

Seulgi does as she’s told and by the time she’s done, her ghostly companion is already occupying a table right by the window that catches all the sunlight. “It’s going to be hot here,” Seulgi complains as she takes a seat.

“I was gonna take a seat over there,” Joohyun gestures with a pout, “But that lady sat on me. But it’s okay, the view is nice.” 

 

Seulgi looks out the window, and Joohyun is right, the view is nice. The coffee shop is right across the park they were in yesterday and the trees look especially beautiful in the warm morning sun. 

 

“This place feels so familiar to me. I remember staring out into the park. I remember small details, but not anything else.” Joohyun says, her brows furrowed together. 

 

“It’s okay, it’s small progress.” The ghost simply sighs in response. “What’s wrong, are you okay?” 

 

“You’re so strange, Kang Seulgi.” 

 

“What? Me? What did I-” a cough interrupts, “Here’s your hot chocolate. We’ll serve your food in a moment.” 

 

The ghost simply smirks, and continues looking around her, and though Seulgi’s only known her for almost a month, she’s already sure that Joohyhun won’t answer her anyway. 

 

Once again looking at Joohyun under the light shining through the window, Seulgi can’t help but wonder why it looks like she’s glowing. How for someone dead, she still looks so human and so… beautiful. She gets the same sensation in the park, her hand begins to itch with the need to capture Joohyun. But instead of letting herself overthink, she grabs her receipt and a ballpen from her bag and she draws. It’s nothing great, she hasn’t drawn in a while, but she makes sure to capture as much of Joohyun as she possibly can. She wants to capture her side profile perfectly, the slope of her nose, the way her ear sticks out, her long flowing hair- 

 

“Oh, hey, that’s Miss Joohyun.” 

 

Seulgi whips her head around so fast she thinks she hears her neck crack. “What did you say??” 

 

The server quickly places her food on the table, and steps away looking sheepish. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to-” 

 

Seulgi turns to Joohyun, a small look asking for permission and when Joohyun nods she turns to the server. “No, no, it’s okay. But, you know her?” 

 

The server, Choerry, according to her nametag, nods. “Yeah! She’d come in really early, like right when we’d open. It was almost every day too and she’d always get hot chocolate and she always leaves a good tip. And she knows all our names and even our schools cause you know, we’re all mostly part-time, and-” 

 

“She has so much energy, I like her! Very different from you, Seulgi.” 

 

“-Oh and sometimes on weekends, she’d be with this taller woman? I dunno her name though-”

 

“Wait- A tall woman…? Who could that be?” Joohyun mumbles.

 

“Were they dating?” Seulgi asks, causing Joohyun to practically shriek that Seulgi has to actively make sure she doesn’t flinch.

 

“I don’t think so. The woman once mentioned how Miss Joohyun should start dating again. But I didn’t mean to eavesdrop I swear! Cause I was serving their food and then the woman asked me if I think Miss Joohyun should be dating and I felt awkward a bit but they were nice about it! But you know, I haven’t seen them around… I think it’s been a couple of months now. Hope she’s okay though!”

 

“Tell her I’m okay!” Joohyun says. “Don’t let her worry! She’s so young, she doesn’t need the stress in her life!” 

 

“Oh, she just had to go out of the country for work. But she’s fine.” Seulgi lies. 

 

“Really? That’s cool! Anyway, I gotta get back to work. But when you get to talk to her again, please tell Miss Joohyun the baristas at Luna Cafe say hi and we hope to see her soon! And enjoy your food!” 

 

When the server is out of earshot Seulgi grins, “Someone finally knows you!” 

 

Joohyun nods excitedly, “She does! And she said I’m nice! So ha! I’m not a after all.” 

 

“I was just joking-” 

 

“I’m teasing. It’s fine, really.” 

 

“Joohyun, while we’re on the topic… about last night, with Yerim… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean-” 

 

“It’s okay. I accepted that I'm dead but yesterday… finding out no one knew me... it made me think that I died alone and unwanted. So I didn’t really want to know how I died cause did it matter if no one cared about it anyway? Or at least, I didn’t want to find out just yet…But hey, nothing I can do now that I know. At least I know I got family that cared for me, right? Plus, whoever that tall woman is too. So, it’s fine, Seulgi.” 

 

Seulgi shakes her head, “It’s not fine. You told me to stop and I didn’t. I was too focused on what I wanted to do. I didn't think about how uncomfortable you were. So, I’m sorry.”

 

“Apology accepted. Now, eat up, I want to keep exploring today.” 

 

---

 

“You said you were a photographer. When we first met. Do you remember?” Joohyun says out of the blue. They’re in a bookstore, a couple of blocks away from their apartment. Joohyun has no memories of this place, but she said she was curious and Seulgi was tired from walking so she agreed. Seulgi is flipping through a book as she sits on the floor while Joohyun just floats around the shelves. 

 

“I am. And I remember.” 

 

“What did you take photographs of?” 

 

“People. Places.” 

 

“Like?” 

 

Seulgi sighs, and places the book down. Joohyun moves to sit across her, not leaning too hard onto the bookshelf so she won’t pass through. “I was a photographer in Jeju. I did a bunch of stuff. Sometimes couples would hire me to shoot their pre-nup photos on the island. Or shoot the landscape for magazines… tour photos too. Sometimes I’d even do small tours of maybe around five people, and take them to local spots.”

 

“I don’t think I’ve ever been.” 

 

“To Jeju?” Seulgi asks, “It’s really pretty. You should go.” 

 

Joohyun snorts, “I can’t go unless you do. I’m stuck to you, remember? The only way I can go to Jeju is if you do.”

 

“Maybe if you’re still stuck to me after a year or so then, I’ll go back. I’ll give you a tour and everything.” Seulgi says, though she wonders if a year could make enough of a difference. Will a year away change how it looks? Will she still know the streets? Her favorite cafes? Will a year change how she feels? Will she be able to go to her favorite cafe without the pitying look of the owners or the gnawing in her stomach? Will she still constantly feel that she wants to both run away but also stay? 

 

“Were you a good photographer?” Joohyun asks, effectively interrupting her thoughts. 

 

“I guess? I had a lot of clients.” 

 

“Do you miss taking photos?” 

 

“A bit.” 

 

“Then why don’t you want to go to the job interview?” Seulgi simply shrugs in response, hoping Joohyun doesn’t really expect an answer from her. “I mean, yeah, you’re strange, cranky, a shut-in, needs to be nagged all the time-” 

 

“I get it-”

 

“-But I still think you’re an okay person. And if you take photos as well as you draw… I’m pretty sure at the very least, you won’t disappoint your cousin.”

 

“You’ve seen me, you know how I live, Joohyun, I’m a mess. I just don’t want to let anyone down. Especially Yerim.” 

 

“So what if you’re a mess? Even if you are, don’t you deserve a chance to make a change? You’ve got the opportunity, after all. Just do your best that day so you won’t have any regrets. 

 

“And that kid obviously loves you, I don’t think you could disappoint her even if you tried.” 

 

Seulgi sighs, “But what if I do get to that point? I don’t think I could handle it if I disappoint Yeri.” 

 

“I’ll just possess your body then. You’ll get in for sure.” 

 

“Please, if you possess me I’ll be so stuck up and annoying they’ll reject me on the spot.” 

 

“Hey! At least I’ll be confident! That’s what you need!” 

 

Joohyun stands and walks to the other end of the bookshelf, “This is how you walk now.” Joohyun says as she slumps her shoulders and trudges towards Seulgi. “But if I possess you, you’ll walk like this!” She disappears to the starting point and Seulgi can’t help the heat that rises to her cheeks as Joohyun struts as if she were on a catwalk, swaying her hips like it’s nothing. Has… has Jooyhun always walked like that? The spirit tosses her hair to be annoying and honestly, what annoys Seulgi more is how her heart starts beating rapidly in her chest. 

 

“Why are you so red?” Joohyun asks, leaning so close that if she were alive, Seulgi could definitely feel her breath on her face.

 

“N-nothing!” 

 

“You’re so strange, Kang Seulgi.” 

 

“Move, you’re suffocating me!” Seulgi says, swatting the air around her. 

 

Finally, Joohyun leans back, but there’s a look in her eyes that Seulgi can’t decipher, “I mean it though. I think you’ll do well. All you have to do is try.” 

 

“Why are you suddenly so nice to me?” 

 

Joohyun shrugs, “I’m not here to save you. Or to coddle you. Or to pull you out of whatever it is you’re going through. I don’t know why I’m here, Seulgi. But I know you enough to know you’re a good person and… I just want you to know you’re not alone. Aside from me, you have people who care for you. And I know it’s hard, whatever you’re going through… but you’re trying and I can see that and… just know that it’s okay… you’re doing well.” 

 

Seulgi doesn’t know what to respond to that, and it seems like Joohyun isn’t expecting her to anyway as she phases through one of the bookshelves to possibly explore some more. 

 

“You’re doing well,” rings through Seulgi’s head and she realizes as a warmth fills her chest and she can feel her face stretch into a genuine smile that it’s exactly what she needed to hear. 

 

She’s so focused on Joohyun’s words that she doesn't even notice the ghost’s head sticking through the bookshelf until she hears, “Hmm, interesting.” 

 

“What is?” 

 

“You. You’re smiling. It’s different from the other ones I’ve seen.” 

 

“Shut up.” Seulgi replies, pretending to read the book in her hands and forcing a frown on her face.

 

“It’s cute,” Joohyun says. “Now, come on and follow me. I found the art supply section and honestly? I think you should start drawing again.”

 

Seulgi lets the ghost lead the way, and when they get to the art supply section, she can’t help but find it endearing how Joohyun immediately goes to the set of art supplies meant for kids. “Maybe you should get this one! It has everything in it! Colored pencils, markers, some watercolor paint-” 

 

“It seems like you’re the one that wants it.” 

 

“Well, I do. But I can’t. So, you get it!” 

 

“I don’t think I’m ready for it.” Seulgi says in complete honesty. When was the last time she picked up a pencil before today in the cafe? When was the last time she made something she actually wanted to make? She turns to Joohyun, and she sees Joohyun’s mouth move, but she hears another voice instead. “Who the hell would buy sketches and oil pastels? Who do you think you are? At least your photographs actually look good!” “Listen, all this art stuff? It costs so much money. Babe, I don’t want you to be a starving artist. I’m looking out for you.” “Please, your work doesn’t compare to the ones that are selling well! It’s best to give up.” “Seulgi, baby, you trust me and my opinion right? Listen- Seulgi, are you listening?” 

 

“Seulgi!” 

 

Seulgi’s eyes snap open to meet Joohyun’s worried ones. “Are you okay?” 

 

“I will be.” 

 

“I-” Seulgi expects Joohyun to pry and ask what’s wrong. After all, it’s happened twice in two days. But she’s surprised when the ghost gives her a small smile, “Hey, if you’re not ready to start again, it’s fine. We can always try some other time, right?” 

 

There’s something about Joohyun’s smile that makes the voices in her head fade away. Something about it that makes her believe that she can still do this. That she can do the things she loves before and not have it hurt. Seulgi shakes her head, letting her hand rest against an easel. “Thank you, Joohyun. But I think I still want to try.”

 

Joohyun simply beams in response, and Seulgi feels the warmth of pride swell in her chest.  

 

“Is it just me or was that cashier staring at me?” Seulgi asks as they exit the bookshop with her tote a little bit heavier now with a new sketchbook and a couple of pencils.

 

Joohyun rolls her eyes, “Please, why would he? He’s definitely a little fruity. He’s been blasting Girls’ Generation since we got in! He was even doing the choreography!”

 

“I didn’t mean it like that! But still, you didn’t notice him staring?” Seulgi turns back to look into the window only to catch the blonde haired cashier still staring straight at her. She slightly raises her eyebrow, and a chill runs up her spine when the cashier simply tilts his head, his expression unchanging. She can feel the hairs on the back of her neck stand and she begins to quickly walk away, “Okay, nevermind, let’s just get out of here.”

 

Joohyun floats beside her, "Uh, excuse me, are you scared of him?! A little staring at you? And not of me? A literal ghost??? I swear, you are so strange, Kang Seulgi. But hey, can I tell you something else?"

 

“What is it now?” 

 

Joohyun stops in front of Seulgi and just grins, “I’m really excited to see what you create, Kang Seulgi.” 

 

Seulgi can’t help the smile that forms on her face, “Yeah, me too.”