Seulgi’s heart hurts. Every breath in she takes feels like her heart is being crushed, and every breath out feels like the grip is slowly loosening up, but not enough to stop the discomfort completely. She’s breathing through , and there are tears threatening to spill out at any time.

Or she’s just drunk. 

And considering she hasn’t had a completely sober night in months, it’s probably both. 

So, here Seulgi is, sprawled on this extremely comfortable couch, staring up at the ceiling, trying to get her breathing back to normal and her vision to stop swirling around. Though, she did have the foresight to change into pajamas before drinking so hey, small wins. 

She knows she’s supposed to try to do better, to be better, and to get better, but tonight she’ll give herself a pass and blame the excess drinking on the fact that it’s her first night in a new city. Besides, it’s not like anyone will know anyway. (She’s sure Seungwan will suspect, she’s always been too observant for Seulgi’s own good.) 

Seoul is a new beginning. 

A chance to start over.

At least, that’s what everyone keeps saying.

It’s what Yerim said when she first called her out of the blue, excitedly explaining how she had a potential slew of projects lined up for her and all Seulgi needed to do was show up to her office with a portfolio in hand.

It’s what her parents said too, when she told them about Yerim’s offer. Though they did say over and over again that they would prefer it if she came home to Ansan but Seulgi laughed and said there’s no way she’d commute back and forth everyday. (Though honestly, she didn’t have the heart to tell them how painful it is for her to see them constantly worry about her.)

It’s what their - well, her - friends said too, when she told them she was leaving. It was over text, in a group chat born mainly as a result of Seulgi’s pain. They even offered to throw her a going away party but Seulgi refused, the pity in their eyes still etched clearly into her brain. 

It’s what Seungwan says, after she downs probably an entire liter of water in one go, exhausted from hauling all of Seulgi’s boxes up four flights of stairs. After she catches her breath, she officially hands over the keys to Seulgi’s new apartment with a playful ruffle of her best friend’s hair. 

“It’ll get better.” 

All Seulgi could do was nod numbly in response. She’s heard that line even more. Seungwan then starts to talk about one thing or the other, and Seulgi doesn’t mean to, but her brain has already gone off into its own place, and by the time she snaps out of it, her best friend is nowhere to be seen and the sun has already disappeared beyond the horizon. 

For a moment, Seulgi considers just showering and crashing into bed but her stomach easily changes her plans, as it growls loudly in protest. She hauls herself into the convenience store in the corner, grabbing bento boxes, kimbap, hot bars, instant noodles and chips, enough to last her a couple of days. She grabs a case of beer and a couple bottles of soju, and the convenience store owner playfully asks if she’s throwing a party which Seulgi doesn’t deny, not wanting to seem like such a loser on her first night in her new apartment. 

But when she finally does sit down on the couch, her feet propped up on the coffee table, some Western show playing on the TV, somaek in a glass, and two hot bars already consumed, Seulgi can’t help but feel like a loser. 

Whatever.

She’s felt like one for a couple of months now, not like another night will make a difference. Seulgi sighs, and downs the rest of her somaek, readying herself for another round. 

Which then leads her to her current predicament. 

Seulgi sighs, and manages to sit up, though her world is still spinning. Her stomach is starting to churn, and thankfully, she manages to hold it down, not wanting to ruin her new home so soon.

It’s a weird arrangement, Seulgi thinks, how the owners are willing to let her stay on a month to month basis rather than give her a lease for two years like most tenants do. But Seulgi didn’t mind. She had no idea how long she’d be in Seoul anyway. All she knew was that Jeju was becoming too small of an island for her to stay around any longer. 

Plus, the sellers were obviously desperate and maybe, deep down, so was Seulgi, and though it was a bit expensive, she took it. It also helped that Yerim was so persuasive, though she couldn’t tell if it was because her cousin really wanted Seulgi in Seoul or because Yerim’s friend knew the owner and wanted to help. Either way, this was what she was going to call home for at least the next two months. 

And honestly, it’s a beautiful home. It’s on the top floor of a four-storey building, with two bedrooms, a wide living room that she could dance in if she moved the couch and table out of the way and a pretty modern kitchen. But what really drew Seulgi to the apartment was the private rooftop. It was bare, only a wooden bench close to the edge, but on it, it had the perfect view of the sky. Though, more importantly, it was hers and hers alone. 

Maybe one day, if she stayed long enough, she’d turn the rooftop into something beautiful. Add some chairs, plants, flowers, and maybe string some lights.

Yeah, that would be nice. 

Seulgi finally hauls herself to her feet, and though her body sways, she manages to remain stable, holding onto the couch, and then to the wall. She leans her body against a closet she hadn’t realized was there, and out of sudden curiosity, she pulls, then pulls again but it remains locked. 

Huh. Guess I’d need to ask the agent about that. 

She continues to lean, to struggle, to sway. Eventually, she manages to get herself in bed, and Seulgi stares up at the ceiling, her heart no longer painful, but her body still feels like she’s floating in an ocean. 

She sighs.

It’s fine. It’ll fade. It always does.

She’s fine. It’ll fade. It’s what they all say.

It’s fine. After all, Seoul is a new beginning.

When Seulgi dreams, she dreams of home. At least, what was her home for the past 5 years. Jeju is absolutely breathtaking. Beautiful sights, beautiful memories and beautiful people.

Beautiful enough for her to pack up her life in Ansan and willingly spend the rest of her life on the island. 

In her dream, she’s on a familiar trail up the tallest mountain in South Korea, Hallasan Mountain. She takes the longer route, the route with less people, less tourists and less noise. Just her, her camera, and the abundance of nature all around her. Hallasan has always taken Seulgi’s breath away, and in her dream, the colors seem to take on a life of their own. The wildflowers are suddenly brighter than she ever remembers seeing them, the blue, the mauve and the purple, pulling her into a trance. 

The trail rises and falls, craggy cliffs surround her, and she has to squeeze herself into narrow passageways. The dream seems so real that it truly feels like it takes her hours to reach the center, where the crater lake awaits. She stands at the edge of the viewing platform, taking in the feeling of accomplishment more than anything else. 

Then, she feels a presence behind her and Seulgi whips around to see a figure quickly running away. And all it takes is a glimpse, but Seulgi’s heart already knows who it is and her feet are already on the move to give chase. 

“WAIT!” Seulgi shouts, but the figure continues to run. She runs past the designated viewing area, and Seulgi hops over the barrier without even a second thought, desperate to catch up. 

“Hold up!” 

“Wait!” 

“PLEASE!” Seulgi cries out, and finally, the woman stops running, her short black hair flows with the wind and the mist slowly gets thicker around them. “I- I miss you.” 

The woman says nothing in return, and when she moves forward again, Seulgi realizes they’re already by the crater lake, and the figure she’s been chasing is already knee deep into the water. “Come back out. Please.” 

Still, she says nothing. 

“Please. Come back.” 

“Hey, you can’t be here!” a hiking guide shouts from somewhere behind her, but Seulgi doesn’t pay them any attention, her eyes too focused on the woman in the water.

“Hey!” 

“Just give me a moment!” Seulgi shouts back, waving off the guide, as she attempts to move closer.

She takes a breath, slowly makes her way into the water, the woman doesn’t move, but her back is still turned to Seulgi and finally, after what feels like forever, she feels close enough and lifts her hand to reach forward- “HEY, YOU!” 

“OW!” Seulgi yelps, rubbing her stinging arm. 

Another whack, “HEY, YOU!”

Seulgi groans in response, and flips over to face the other side of the bed. Just how drunk was she? Or was her dream just incredibly realistic tonight? 

“HEY, DON’T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME! WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED?!” 

“Hm- What are you talking about?” Seulgi’s grumbles, then her eyes shoot open in realization, causing her to literally jump off the bed.

“I- wh- what-” Seulgi stammers as she comes face to face with a petite woman who looks like she’s about ten seconds away from murdering her. “WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY APARTMENT?!”

“YOURS?! THIS IS MY APARTMENT!” The intruder shrieks and it pierces through Seulgi’s skull. 

Seulgi rubs her temples, “Wait, wait. Can you tone it down a bit, I’m severely hungover. Or still dreaming. The dream seems more plausible though.”

The woman huffs in response but complies nonetheless, “So I guess you’re the one responsible for all the empty beer cans, soju and chips laying around in my apartment!” 

“I swear, this is my apartment. I got the keys and everything.” Seulgi says, trying to placate the woman who’s getting visibly angrier by the second. 

“Oh yeah?” The woman gestures to the nightstand, “Then explain the photo- wait- no, I’m sure I had a picture there.” 

“Maybe you got the wrong apartment? Are you drunk?” 

“I’M NOT DRUNK!” Seulgi visibly winces at her pitch and she graciously tones her voice down again. “I’m not drunk. I’m completely sober but I swear, I had a picture right there. What did you do with it?! Well, check the dresser then! My journal should be there.” 

Seulgi does as instructed, and pulls it open to reveal a completely empty drawer. 

“But- I swear-” 

“Miss, are you okay? I can call you a cab-” 

But the intruder has none of it and she storms out of the room in a huff. Seulgi quickly runs after her, hopefully she can get her to leave quietly so she can go back to bed but as soon as she steps out into the hallway, she’s alone once more. 

“Uh, hello?” 

Silence. 

“Uh… Miss?” 

Nothing. 

Seulgi checks the front door, surprised to find that the deadbolt is still severely locked in place. 

“Seulgi, it’s okay. It was a dream. A really intense dream. But hey, you were very drunk last night. Stuff like this happens, I’m sure.” Seulgi says to herself, picking up the soju bottle on the coffee table. “I think I should just stick to beer next time.” 

It’s the middle of the afternoon when Seulgi’s hangover disappears completely and she manages to start unpacking all of her boxes. It’s only when she gets to her favorite sweaters that she realizes that they all have the distinct smell of someone else. If she were still in Jeju, she would most probably put one on, or at least lay in it, inhaling the scent and the simpler times associated with it. But, she knows she shouldn’t. She’s trying to be better, she reminds herself. So with all of her willpower, she tosses them all into the washing machine. “Seungwan will be so proud.” 

“Ah, crap.” Seulgi scratches the back of her head as she realizes she hasn’t gone to the grocery and therefore does not have any fabric softener. She opens all the cabinets, just in case she’s lucky, until finally, she spots one practically hidden at the back of the cabinet. “HERE! Oh, wow, it looks fancy.” 

She opens the bottle and takes a whiff, already sure that the scent of Jeju will be erased completely with the calming smell of lavender. She’s about to pour it into the machine when she hears a loud voice, “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING?!” 

Seulgi jumps, and almost spills the fabric softener, causing the intruder to scream once more. “BE CAREFUL!” 

“How the hell did you get in here?!” Seulgi manages to ask as one hand clutches the bottle close to her chest and the other holds onto the washing machine for support. 

“I’d like to ask you the same question. Not only are you squatting in my apartment, but now you’re using my limited edition fabric softener too?!” 

“Listen, lady, I have no idea who you are but I swear, I bought this place. I can show you the papers and everything.” 

The woman ignores her and starts walking away but this time, Seulgi follows closely, making sure she doesn’t lose sight of her. When they get to the living room, Seulgi opens up her backpack and fishes out her rental agreement. “Look, it’s all here. I signed it yesterday.”

“Give it here.” 

Seulgi extends the folder and the woman motions to take it, except it slips through her fingers. 

Literally. 

“Why’d you drop it?! I said, give it here!” 

“I did!” Seulgi picks the papers up from the floor and hands it over to the woman, and this time, Seulgi watches as the papers pass right through her. Then, it dawns on her. “YOU’RE A GHOST!”

The woman jumps and starts looking around frantically. “GHOST?! WHERE?!”

“YOU!” 

“Me? I’m not a ghost!” 

“Yes, you are! Look, you can’t even hold these papers!” Seulgi says, waving them to her face. 

“You just keep dropping them!” She says, and tries to grab the papers in Seulgi’s hands but to no avail.

The woman’s eyes grow wide in shock and she points an accusing finger at Seulgi. “What’s happening? What are you doing to me?” 

“I’m not doing anything! You’re dead!” 

“Stop saying that, I’m not dead!” 

“Well, how else would you be a ghost then?” 

“I’M NOT DEAD.” 

“Okay, sorry, sorry. Let’s start over.” Seulgi raises her arms in defense, and then slowly moves closer. She flashes the most calming reassuring smile she can muster, given the situation.  “I’m Kang Seulgi. I’m a photographer. What’s your name?” 

The woman blinks a couple of times, “I- I-” 

“You don’t know, do you?” 

“It’s Joohyun!” 

Seulgi squints, “Are you sure? How do you know that?” 

“I just know, okay! Just like how I know this is my apartment!” The ghost, or “Joohyun” says, storming out of the living room. 

“Stop running away! Just listen to me! Okay, answer this for me. What did you do this morning after you shouted at me to get out of your apartment?” Seulgi asks, Joohyun continues to walk away.

“I- uh-” 

“Where did you go?” Joohyun looks like she’s racking her brain for an answer, but her sigh is enough for Seulgi to know that she’s coming up empty. “Who did you talk to aside from me? What other person did you see after leaving here?”

Joohyun says nothing but continues to pace, and Seulgi speaks up again. “Listen, I hate to break it to you but if you look very very carefully, there should be a light somewhere around you, just walk into it!” 

“There’s no light! I’m not dead!” 

“You’re a ghost!”

“I’m not a ghost!” Joohyun replies, her arms folded across her chest.

Seulgi sighs but says nothing, instead chooses to gesture to Joohyun’s legs. Joohyun’s eyebrows knit together in confusion, then looks down to find herself standing in the middle of the kitchen counter. 

“Oh . I’m a ghost.” 

It’s been 23 days, 9 hours, around 20 minutes and Seulgi honestly feels like she’s losing it. 

Seulgi’s never really been the type to be afraid of ghosts or the supernatural. After all, every place has its own share of scary stories.

So, ghosts, she’s absolutely fine with. But really annoying ghosts who won’t shut up? That’s a whole other story. 

As soon as Joohyun realized her predicament, she disappeared and Seulgi honestly thought the spirit took her advice and followed the light. But after a good full hour, she came back, and hasn’t left her side since.

And the thing is, it’s not even that she’s wailing in despair or moping that she’s dead or even doing anything relatively haunting. Nope. 

It’s that the ghost is bored. 

“Stop doing that!” Seulgi yelps as she opens the refrigerator to see Joohyun calmly sitting inside, a small smirk on her face.

“But your reaction is so funny! It’s the same every time!” 

Seulgi rolls her eyes and reaches for a can of beer.

“Another beer? It’s only 2PM!” Joohyun begins to nag, so Seulgi simply closes the refrigerator door on her and walks away. Though of course, Joohyun just simply leaves the refrigerator, choosing to nag Seulgi up close.

Seulgi has tried everything . No one could see Joohyun. No one could hear Joohyun and more importantly, no one could seem to get rid of Joohyun.

“The holy water is staining my flooooor. That’s real wood Seulgiiiiiiii.” Joohyun whines when Seulgi manages to get a priest to come over to try and expel the spirit from the apartment. 

When Seulgi asks a local shaman for help, they do an entire ritual, scattering red beans to ward off the spirit. All Joohyun does is look at the shaman, look at Seulgi, and as she walks away from the scene she shouts, “You better sweep up those red beans, Kang Seulgi or I’ll haunt you for real!” 

She also did some research on using burnt sage and was in the middle waving the dried herbs around her apartment when Joohyun sighs, “The smoke is going to activate the fire-“ And annoyingly, Joohyun is right as the sprinklers activate in the apartment, soaking everything in the living room. 

“You better make sure my couch dries properly.” Joohyun snorts before disappearing to who knows where.

And that was only the half of it. On top of her general annoying aura, Joohyun nags her incessantly. 

“Have you never ironed your own clothes before? It’s too hot, you're going to burn your blouse!” 

“That’s not how you use the washing machine! You use cold water for delicate fabrics!” 

“Do you even know how to cook?” 

“That’s too much salt! You can’t have that much salt in your diet, you know. It’s not good for your kidney.” 

“USE A COASTER!! THAT’S REAL WOOD!!” 

Seulgi can try to ignore her, she’s tried for sure, but the dang ghost just doesn’t quit. 

“You do know that I can haunt you literally forever, right?” 

And sadly, Joohyun is right. Even when Seulgi leaves the apartment, it seems Joohyun is stuck to her. Joohyun can disappear into a void of some sort but whenever she returns, it’s always around Seulgi. The spirit even explained that she tried to go father to search for someone who can help but she couldn’t. It was as if she was stuck in Seulgi’s orbit.

“Seulgiiiii-” 

Seulgi sighs, places her beer on a coaster and turns to her otherworldly companion. “What do you want, Joohyun?” 

Joohyun’s eyes light up, in an almost human way, and it catches Seulgi off guard. “I finally figured it out! You don’t want me here, and I don’t want you here either. So maybe, you should just help me pass on! If I’m here it means I have unfinished business right?”

“And why should I help you?” 

“Ah, I thought of that already.” Joohyun winks and sits across Seulgi, onto the coffee table. 

“Wait, how the hell do you do that?”

The ghost rolls her eyes, “Do you think I understand what’s happening to me, Kang Seulgi? No, I don’t. All I know is I can sit on things, I can lay on things, sometimes I can hold things but I can also walk through walls, oh and I can do this!” Joohyun reaches forward and her hand goes straight through Seulgi’s head.

“HEY, STOP IT!” 

“Sorry, just wanted to show you.” Joohyun says in a way that it’s clear, she’s not sorry at all. 

“How’d you even know that you can go through me?” 

The ghost shrugs, “You were having a nightmare the other day, I was trying to wake you up without shouting but… yeah…”

Seulgi fakes a cough, unable to meet Joohyun’s eyes. “Anyway, what were you saying?” 

“Oh right. So, since you’re not doing anything anyway, and I’m obviously not going anywhere, I think you should help me.”

“Why me?” 

“Cause clearly, you’re the only one that can see me. Sadly. You know, are you sure you’re not my murderer? Maybe the reason I can’t leave is because I’m supposed to avenge my death and get revenge from you.” 

“I didn’t kill you.” 

“A murderer would say the same thing too, you know.” 

“Joohyun. I. Did. Not. Kill. You.” 

Joohyun simply hums in response. Then, for the first time in a long time, (mostly because Seulgi is rarely around strangers or people in general) Seulgi feels self-conscious. Joohyun eyes her from head to toe, and her expression is blank. The ghost tilts her head, and it takes everything in Seulgi not to turn away. Then, a lopsided grin forms on the ghost’s face. 

“What? What’s so funny? Why are you smiling?” 

“Nothing. But you’re kinda weird, Kang Seulgi.” 

“Shut up.” 

“A cranky pants too. Cute though.” Joohyun answers. “So, will you help me?” 

“I guess. I don’t think you’ll let me say no anyway.” 

“GREAT!” Joohyun pumps her fist in the air. “I have a list of things we need to do.” 

Seulgi sighs, takes another sip of her beer. “You know, for someone who just recently realized they’re dead, you sure have so much… energy.” 

“Well, I could mope about it but what good would it do? And hey, the quicker we do this, the quicker we’ll be out of each other’s hair. Until then, I guess we’re stuck with each other, huh?” Joohyun ends with a little wink and it annoys Seulgi to no end that her face heats up in anger.