Two-edged sword [idiom] : something that has or can have both favorable and unfavorable consequences

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On this rainy Friday, Shuhua was wondering just how badly this day could possibly go for her. For once she had finished all of her assignments and no exams were in sight for maybe another week. So far, it seems to be every students’ dream life. But Shuhua is built differently. Not having anything to do anymore she barely had a moment of peace with her mind going back and forth to the person she had tried to avoid so badly. Yet it seems like destiny had it another way because they somehow always ended up running into each other. 

When Soyeon brought her to a coffee shop one fine morning before her classes, everything was well until a familiar business woman entered the vicinity and ordered herself an Americano. As expected, Soyeon also spotted their friend and asked her to come over to their table. That’s how Shuhua had to make up an excuse of being late to her classes as a way to escape this awkward situation ending with her being at least 40 minutes too early and having to wait inside her campus all alone. Needless to say, the aimless roaming inside her institute had frightened a poor janitor who had mistaken her for a ghost that day. 

Another time she was grocery shopping with Soojin. The latter had gently offered her to come along -more like forced her to join- so she had no choice but to willingly comply and with a pleased smile to top it off (future her would have given a thumbs up at that, especially after getting kicked out). Shuhua had mindlessly pushed the half filled cart around the long aisle of sauces, not really paying mind to the people around and utterly bored out her mind. At some point she bumped into a woman clad in a pretty suit and as an apology was about to leave she felt the world fold onto itself. Lo behold here was Cho Miyeon in front of the refrigerated instant meals holding a box of tasteless microwaveable cream pastas. It didn’t take Shuhua much longer to tighten her grip on the cart and dash away leaving the older girl in the dust. She was no good Mario kart player but after that day she was sure that she’d never lose a market cart race in her life. 

What stole the show however was that improbable chance of Minnie housing Miyeon the very day Shuhua was kicked out of hers by none other than Soojin. Thankfully Miyeon didn’t stay long but it didn’t mean that she felt any better. Out of all the other accidental encounters this was by far the worse and it left a sour taste in along with a heavy heart that seemed to have dropped all the way down to her stomach. This was also accompanied with even more tormenting memories which she couldn’t process in the slightest, sometimes she wished they were just a fever dream and forget them all next morning. So that’s what she did, all those times she accidentally bumped into her faded away. She hasn’t seen nor heard about her for the past week. She convinced herself so. 

The soft pit-a-pat of the raindrops hitting the window pane lulled her into a state of trance, swimming in her thoughts that threatened to drown her in waves of unwanted feelings. A little more and she would be breathing in emotions she couldn’t even understand, sinking further down in its bottomless pit that dragged her deeper and deeper. Her mind ceased to float adrift of everything and she was falling, spiraling, forgetting how to breath for a split second.

A hand fell onto her shoulder and while it startled her awake, she was glad that this same hand pulled her up back to the surface. “You okay there ?”

She could breathe again.

“Yeah.. just.. thinking.” Shuhua looked away from the window and the grey streets to pay attention to her best friend. 

A frown greeted her view and she avoided it, returning to the window and the raindrops softly falling from the sky, the people running under the rain and the sunshine lost behind the clouds. “Talk to me.” She heard the low husky voice, feeling like thunder despite the calm drizzle on the outside. 

“What do you want to talk about ?” Shuhua asked and this time she dared to lock eyes with Yuqi. After waking up this morning on Minnie’s couch running late for her classes, she had decided to spend the remaining afternoon at Yuqi’s place to have a change of scenery and distract herself a little. She could have gone back to her Thai friend’s oh so large house but the thought of running into she-who-must-not-be-named made it suddenly way less appealing. So there she was supposedly having fun although it felt more like a pity party with more pity than party with a nice addition of a free interrogation service by yours truly : Song Yuqi.

“You and Miyeon.” The Chinese woman's grave voice did little to hide her seriousness, ever so straight to the point.

Alas, it seemed like she couldn’t run away forever. Upon hearing the name she flinched remembering the last time they talked, that one encounter yesterday at Minnie’s house. The cold eyes and even colder voice that froze her to the core and she was glad that she didn't see her in the morning. “When will you two make up?” Yuqi demanded, arms crossed over her chest. She was slightly upset with her younger friend here who, as usual, ran away from confrontation and problems like her life depended on it (for Shuhua it did feel like a life or death situation though).

“I… what’s there to make up for anyway.” Shuhua mumbled, hugging her knees closer.

“Your friendship for one ! You two seriously- What was even going through that thick skull of yours last Friday ?” Yuqi expressed with frustration seeping through her voice, hands coming up to mess up her beautiful blonde hair.  

“I don’t know ! I don’t know…” the younger one exclaimed, stressed beyond measure, her voice growing fainter at each word. 

The influencer sighed deeply, she knew how stubborn Shuhua was and how she was extremely bad at handling her own emotions when given time to ponder on them for a little too long. “Look… since you two fought, if we can even call this a fight, you’ve been feeling under the weather. Look at you ! It’s not just a simple argument and you should do something about it.”

“I.. want to. Trust me, I want to but- …it’s hard. I don’t even know why I said that in the first place. I don’t even know what to tell her !” Shuhua finally shared bits of her worries, the heavy weight slightly lightened over her heart but remained still. Her voice was more vulnerable, a little raw and incredibly sincere. 

Yuqi calmed down at the sight, seeing Shuhua in such a state was rare, the younger never let her distress show and always had this put-together act when in reality, she was like any other ordinary human with feelings and all. She was just as lost as she could be. 

“Hey… first just tell her you’re sorry. You know Miyeon, she'll never stay mad at you for long.” Yuqi tried to reassure her, voice less stern and more empathetic. 

“She was mad.. really mad yesterday.” Shuhua’s voice nearly broke, the admission bitter on her tongue. 

“I would be too if I was her. Trust me, I would’ve slapped you right there and then if you ever said this to my face.” Yuqi playfully blurted but almost felt guilty when she saw the pouting woman in front of her. She immediately offered a sympathetic pat on Shuhua’s shoulder hoping it would comfort her. “Okay okay, but seriously now. Talk to her tonight. This has been going on for way too long now.” 

“I’ll …try…” Shuhua said a little unsure. 

As much as she’d like to say that this was all just the product of her stupid self saying something she didn’t even mean in the slightest, it was unfortunately much more complicated than that. Deeper feelings were involved and the day before spent at Minnie’s place didn’t help her in that regard. It was a mess in her head and a mess in her chest that constricted painfully at two vivid memories playing again and again. Both extremely different but just as painfully hard to remember for vastly diverse reasons. 

She was a mess.

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Spending time with her friend has helped in easing her nerves for what was to ultimately come tonight. Yuqi had begged Shuhua to record a video together with the promise that the influencer didn’t post it without showing her the final product beforehand. It was a silly video of them playing some video games which ended up in a brawl. Of course, Shuhua won. Both the games and the fight that ensued, earning her a very sulky Chinese woman trying to argue back that she had let her win because she was the oldest one here. Truth was, Yuqi had lost fair and square. 

For a second she had almost forgotten about everything going on in her life, focused on the present, turning a blind eye to the future coming for her at a threatening fast pace. A future that she could never avoid despite her best efforts. 

“Did you know that Soyeon had produced a new song ? Apparently another big group has claimed it already.” Yuqi said with a proud smile.

“Oh really ? That’s amazing !” Shuhua exclaimed happily. Soyeon had always worked hard and it warmed her heart to hear that she was successful in her dream job.

“I know right !” Yuqi agreed. 

The moment was cut short by the ringing of a phone. Like an alarm signaling of the dreaded reality to come. “Talking about her. Yes, darling ? Already ? Alright, we’re coming then. See you soon.” Yuqi said before hanging up.

“Soyeon just called saying she’s already at the bar. We should go now, come on.” The Chinese woman pulled her up from the wooden chair and went to fetch her bag, urging Shuhua to get ready as well. 

Her temporary escape has come to an end and she felt grateful for the hand in hers pulling her down the building and into the streets. If it was just her, she wondered how long she’d stay with her feet glued to the ground, unmoving and hesitant. Stop thinking, she told herself. 

The drizzle had not receded and Shuhua found pleasure in the fresh air filling her lungs, mentally preparing herself to talk with her. She had to do it. The small raindrops hitting the umbrella above her head like a soft buzz that accompanied her throughout the walk, calming her thumping heart. Inhale, exhale. Repeat. As easy as that. 

Everything would come easily.

_______

“Hi, darling !” Yuqi said as soon as she opened the front door to the bar, confidently locking eyes with Soyeon who beamed and rolled her eyes at the playful nickname. The two sat at a table, animatedly talking about something that Shuhua couldn’t hear from her spot next to the entrance.

“Welcome back, Shuhua.” Soojin greeted her housemate from behind the counter, still in her working attire and cleaning a glass or two. She was still on the clock, some customers were scattered across the inside, chatting and laughing. 

“Do you need help unnie ?” Shuhua asked while eyeing the bar and slowly approaching the older woman. 

“Hm, if you want to, I don't mind.” Soojin shrugged but retained that grateful smile from the kind offer. Just like that Shuhua disappeared inside the staff room to put on the shirt she used for work only before taking an order from a group sitting at the back. 

Friday night was always lively here, students and workers alike often stayed at the bar to enjoy the end of the week. On special occasions Soojin allowed herself to close business earlier when she and the crew would celebrate some important event such as birthdays or meaningful accomplishments. However today was just like every other Friday, the group would come one by one and stay until closing hour and more to catch up on each other. 

Shuhua was still technically working under Soojin although by now, it was more like contributing sporadically in reducing the older’s workload every now and then. It didn’t bother Soojin much anyway, she knew that the girl was busy with her studies and the few free time she had would make for a well deserved rest. Hence why she never really pressured the girl into working regularly unless she needed a helping hand behind the counter.

“Here’s for you.” Shuhua placed down two beers in front of her friends who were visibly playfully arguing together. 

As if on a cue, Minnie appeared from behind and gave her a tight hug which startled her a little but soon a smile made its way onto her face. “Hello everyone !” The Thai woman said loudly while waving at Soojin who returned it with her own acknowledging nod.

“How come you are all so early today ?” Minnie remarked, taking a seat next to Yuqi and bumping her fist with hers. 

“I just felt like coming here. What about you ? Aren’t you supposed to be at the filming site until 7pm ?” Soyeon replied with a shrug.

“The recording was postponed due to the bad weather.” Minnie explained with a small sigh, her project was lagging behind due to these unforeseen situations but she wasn’t really worried per say, just slightly tired.

“Ah that .” The music producer commented while handing the movie director her beer out of empathy. 

“It’s fine. I believe we will wrap everything up by next week.” Minnie waved off the negativity, taking a gulp of the beer she had been graciously given by none other than their captain.

“The rain is kinda annoying.” Yuqi frowned while eyeing the window with a form of distaste. 

“Funny hearing that from you Miss Rainy Season, though I’m glad that you finally admit that you’re annoying.” Soyeon joked which made Minnie giggle at the now red Yuqi who was fumbling for a comeback. 

“Y-yah you- I meant the feeling ! You know, when it rains it just feels bad !” The blonde stuttered while pointing a very vexed finger at Soyeon. When the latter only raised a curious eyebrow Yuqi sat down with an angry huff and drowned the rest of her sentence in her glass.

“You think so ?” Shuhua, who was silently listening, blurted out in a calm voice. A sheer contrast from the Chinese’s indignant tone from earlier.

“Well, maybe not for you since the rain makes you work less.” Yuqi answered back while motioning to the calmness of the bar, still a little grumpy with her eyes shooting daggers towards the smallest one of the group who had a pleased smile on her lips. One thing for sure, there were less customers than usual due to the drizzle that threatened to turn into a downpour at any moment.

“I kinda get what she means though. It’s the vibe of the rain, you know, like it dampens the mood a little.” Minnie agreed with a nod which Yuqi used to her advantage to get back to Soyeon.

“Anyway, it’s not because it’s raining outside that you can laze around. One beer for me, pretty please.” Soyeon said, diverting the attention back to Shuhua while faking a scold before ordering herself a drink. 

“Yes, yes captain.” Shuhua giggled at the pet name, one leaving as a reply before heading behind the counter to fetch the beverage. Throwing a look behind her shoulder she saw them arguing again and she could only shake her head at their silliness.

Time went by with laughter and drinks. The trio of producers haven’t stopped talking for the past hour with Yuqi insisting on putting music to, in her words, elevate the mood. After much begging Soojin relented and the bar was now animated with a nice playlist blaring from the fairly expensive speakers in the corner. 

“So ? How’s our gremlin doing ? You spent the afternoon with her right ?” Soyeon demanded curiously.

“She’s being an idiot like usual.” Yuqi nonchalantly answered, her gaze drifting to the said younger woman cleaning a table on the opposite of them. The two other women nodded in understanding, in the few years they have spent with Shuhua all of them agreed that emotion-wise she was as good as a soaked paper bag. Utterly useless.

“Shuhua is emotionally constipated I fear. Worse than Miyeon.” Minnie added which made the others chuckle a little.

“Ah right ! She’s staying at your place ? How is she ?” Yuqi clapped her hands remembering that piece of information.

“Do you want the long or short version ?” The oldest of the three challenged with a playful tone. 

“Surprise us.” Soyeon said, anticipating the answer.

“She’s a simping noodle in denial who is too whipped to actually stay mad. She was all mad at her but the next thing I know she spent 15 minutes watching Shuhua sleep on the couch this morning.” Minnie offered to make everyone laugh, she debated whether or not telling them about the full story of that fateful morning but decided against it. Despite her love for annoying their older friend, she’d rather divulge this information when the latter is there to actually be embarrassed about it. True friendship she’d like to call it.

“Speaking of which, she’s awfully late today.” Yuqi pointed out after taking a look at her phone to see what time it was. 

By now Soojin was closing up the bar with the help of Shuhua. They had agreed on ordering take out for dinner and waited for it to arrive. With some luck their favourite businesswoman would appear before their large sized meal. It was no secret that Miyeon was a tardy queen, having just as much of a feud with her morning alarms as with being on time for her appointments. It was a wonder how she survived as a businesswoman up until now to say the least. Her being late was not really surprising but normally she would have texted them by now or at least given a head up. 

“Guess she’ll be the one paying for dinner tonight then.” Minnie shrugged totally unfazed by the lack of punctuality coming from her temporary housemate. 

Shuhua who had been organising the now clean glasses heaved a relieved sigh, she was done with work for today. Glancing at the table where her friends were still talking she decided to approach the bunch, wanting to make sure they didn’t need anything else. “Everything is okay ?” 

At her presence Minnie suddenly sat up and a light bulb went off next to her head, a mischievous smirk up on her lips. “Oh, Nong Shu, come here ~” Minnie greeted and pulled the younger one to forcefully sit next to her. 

“What is it ?” Shuhua inquired with a raised eyebrow, a little taken aback by the suddenness of everything.

“Since our dear Miyeon is late, dinner will be on her tonight.” The oldest explained while looking pointedly at Soyeon to play along with her. It seems like the girl caught on the act and immediately butted in.

“Right, poor Miyeon will have to empty her wallet for us. What do you think, Shuhua ?” Their captain nodded with a slightly exaggerated pitiful tone.

The youngest took a few seconds to think of an answer. To be fair, she was late and by their rules it meant that she’ll have to treat them all for dinner. But at the same time she felt bad for her as she has been buying their meals several times in a row now due to her tardiness. “Hmmm.. won’t it be the third time this month ? Won’t she go broke at some point…” Her voice was a little weak but everyone heard her loud and clear.

“Unless ! Someone takes the fall for her and be her knight in shining armour tonight.” Yuqi very discreetly suggested. 

“Oh ! Who, in between us, could be so chivalrous to save our silly tardy princess in distress ?” Minnie emphasised with an absurdly excessive set of large hand movements that nearly ended up slapping the Taiwanese girl next to her who didn’t flinch. Shuhua had stayed quiet, pondering on the situation.

What better way to apologise than to do her a favour. The idea fitted nicely in her head. She could imagine Miyeon smiling at her with that goofy smile and hugging her way too tightly, thanking her with a high pitched voice that was a mix in between a squeal and a squeak. Then, she would forget about their fight and be back to their original dynamic.