[Jiyong]

“I heard a song today, a song that knocked some sense into me. It’s the type of song I know you’re singing right now. It’s the song ‘To Love Again – 2AM’ I wish I didn’t turn the radio on this morning, I wish I listened to my head when it said ‘You’ll regret it!’ and I did; something I now have to look back to.

All the memories along with new pain started streaming in my head.

Do you remember how you used to hug me from behind as you lay your chin on my shoulder?

Do you remember how we’d talk about things that didn’t matter then next thing I know you’re snoring loudly as you hug me tighter?

Do you remember how you said I was like the perfect girl because I’d prefer to stay home than go shopping?

Do you remember how you’d always make me feel like the only girl in the world?

Do you remember it all? Because if not I’ll remind you again.” – Min Young’s letter started. I sighed to myself not wanting to continue but something inside of me was pushing me to just read the letter until the end. I had all the time in the world before I head back to the dorm so might as well have.

How can I ever forget everything she and I shared though?

I held onto my phone and searched the exact lyrics for the song 2AM’s Changmin have written for his ex girlfriend.

You ask me to come back but you know I can’t do that
you cling and plead to start over again but I think I’ll just make you cry again.

I just can’t come back and give the pain I gave to her all over again. I don’t want her to go through everything all over again.

The common break-up song feels just like your story
And I know that you’re still hurting over thoughts of me
I know it all but-

She doesn’t have to hide anything.

I know how much it’s hurting; I know how much it’s killing her.

Because to love you again
I’m too bad of a man
Even though you can’t still forget me
I can’t go back to your side

Holding onto me won’t help you move on, won’t help you find a love that’s true. A love that won’t hurt you, forget me and forget it all.

I told you to be more happy by meeting a person better than me
But why do you keep waiting for me like a fool, don’t make it hard on me anymore

Even though I keep laughing when I see funny movies
And I know in the end tears come to my eyes
I know really well but

Go on and be happy, find a man who would treat you right.

Find a man who would treasure your tears.

Find a man who would give you endless smiles.

Find a man who would give you surprises every day of your life.

Find someone who deserves you more than I do.

Because to love you again
I’m too bad of a man
Even though you can’t still forget me
I can’t go back to your side

Even if we meet and love again I’m not confident I can stay with you forever
It’s me who turned away so coldly so I don’t have the courage to stand in front of you
I can’t do that

I could never love you again, I could never feel the way I used to, just let it all go.

I’m too bad of a man if I get back to you and do all the process again.