genre: angst, broken!romance

featuring: hayami akari

"I'll be back in a few days." 

Those were always the same exact words he would tell me everytime he went out the door. It wouldn't even be days. Usually it would be weeks and he'd come home late at night or early in the morning. 

I don't ask him where he goes or who he was with because he's always going to tell me "it's work related."

To be honest, I've given up on trying to figure out what he's always been up to. Yet I still find myself still living in this apartment. The apartment we bought together. The apartment that we bought promised to live in and make memories in. But where did that promise go? Where did it all go?

I sat on the dirty white couch, sitting in a fetal position while resting my chin on my knees.

I stared at the blank television, hoping the black screen would turn on by itself. Unfortunately, the screen did not change and it remained still as well as my fixed eyes. I found myself sitting there in complete silence in that empty flat. Everything was completely still for a long period then

Ding dong. Ding dong.

My concentration was dissolved with the continious ringing of the door bell so I finally got up and answered the door.

It was just Hayami. 

"Hey!" She gleamed with her crooked teeth.

"Yes, Hayami?"

"How've ya been? You're always alone in your empty apartment! Where's Hyuksoo, huh? He hasn't come back yet?"

I shook my head as we made our way to the living area, closing the front door behind me. I sat back on the same spot on my couch while Hayami sat on my left side. 

"Hm, it's so cold here..... Why don't you turn on the heater? I'm sure your landlord won't mind if we use it!"

Ah, the heater. I forgot about that.

"Uh, I'll go adjust the temperature right now." I got up from my seat and walked towards the thermometer and raised the temperature to 70º.

"So, what have you been up to while Hyuksoo is away?" Hayami helped herself with some wrapped Kisses from the coffee table. I walked back to the living area and sat in the same fetal position from earlier.

"Nothing in particular. I've been watching the next-door neighbor's apartment and cat while she's away at work so she pays me a little bit."

"Sounds like a teenager's part-time job," she munched on her second Kisses.

"I guess. I just can't go back to work.."

"We miss you in the office, y'know." 

"I know. I miss you guys too..... can't go outside."

Hayami and I didn't say anything for a while. She continued to eat a few more Kisses until she finally left a small pile of crumpled wrappers.

"Is that why you haven't left him? You can't go outside?"

I stayed silent. Not a word.

"As your friend, I'm worried sick about you. I'm worried that Hyuksoo is out there with some other woman, and he's just keeping you here like his little housewife. One day he's not going to comeback and you'll be stuck here alone, with no one else to help pay the apartment bill. No one is going to be here with you."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm going back to Aoyama in a few days. I need to take care of family related things and I'm not sure when I'm coming back to New York."

Hayami held my arm, and leaned in close. 

"I need to make sure you're going to be okay. I'm not going to be here to check up on you so I need to be positive that you won't be needing me while I'm gone." 

"Don't worry, Hayami. I'll be fine. I can cope."

The frown on her face hasn't gone away. Her eyes looked into mine, as if she was pleading for me to try and move on with my life.

"Please."

"I'll try."

That morning, I went with Hayami to the airport.

She cried before she hugged me. She left the keys to her apartment in case she came back or if I needed a place to stay in. 

She left after an hour. 

I came home that afternoon to find Hyuksoo home. He fell asleep on the couch, while watching television. I dropped my keys into the bowl placed on the table beside the door and hung my coat on a hook. 

I walked over to his slumbering body and sat on the floor, watching him breathe. 

I moved his black hair away from his face. I noticed the faded lipstick on his lips and the subtle dark marks on his neck. I wanted to cry, but I held back.

I've been holding back.