TW: homophobia, abuse, slight mention of violence 

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Kim Jongdae could remember the moment he realised he was gay very clearly. His best friend had casually told him that he was dating someone and that he’d be glad to introduce Jongdae to his boyfriend. It had shocked him at first and he soon found that his lips spewing his fathers words before he even noticed it. He told poor Chanyeol about how wrong it was, how disgusting of him it was to even look at a guy that way, and that he didn’t understand why the tall man would do something like that. 

 

It didn’t phase Chanyeol at all, he was well aware that the words were someone else’s, he had expected the expression of the opinions that had been drilled into Jongdae to be his initial reaction. He simply shrugged and told Jongdae that it was just love, and that he’d still love to introduce them if Jongdae could accept them. Since he didn’t want to be a bad friend, Jongdae agreed. 

 

He spent the night before meeting Chanyeol’s boyfriend reading articles and social media posts written by gay couples and realised how horrible he’d been to Chanyeol. It seemed more normal for guys to like guys than he’d thought, and maybe it wasn’t disgusting to Chanyeol. It wouldn’t ever be Jongdae’s thing though, to look at a guy and wish to love him. 

 

He took that thought back when Chanyeol’s boyfriend sat down in front of him at the café. He had soft, feminine features and cute pink lips. His fingers, which were holding a spoon as he stirred his coffee, were slim and beautiful. Jongdae had never seen such a gorgeous person ever before and it made him panic slightly. Then Baekhyun made some joke about Chanyeol liking kisses a lot and Jongdae felt jealous. 

 

The wish not to be a bad friend was never granted since he found himself having a small crush on his best friend’s boyfriend. Guilt ate him up, not just because he was betraying Chanyeol but also because he was feeling such things towards a man. It made him cry each night when he laid down to sleep or when Chanyeol would text him about something cute he and Baekhyun had done. 

 

For a little while he blamed Chanyeol for introducing him to Baekhyun and making him gay. He unfairly hated his best friend for putting him through such emotions. He hated Baekhyun, too, for being too pretty for Jongdae to stay straight. A single comment from his father made those angry feelings disappear quickly, and Jongdae cried about that too. 

 

“You once kissed a boy in your class for spin the bottle and I was so scared you’d grow up gay.” 

 

Jongdae knew then that it wasn’t Chanyeol or Baekhyun who’d done anything to him, it was his father who’d instead forced him to suppress the feeling he’d had for men. He knew he couldn’t say anything about it but he could at least stop being angry at his friends, they never deserved his anger. He wouldn’t tell Chanyeol because he’d have to say that it was his pretty boyfriend that made him realise that he liked men. Surely Chanyeol would be angry and never forgive him for wanting his boyfriend, so Jongdae kept his lips sealed. 

 

He never thought he would meet someone as pretty as Baekhyun ever again, then he met Kim Minseok. 

 

The beautiful Kim Minseok had found his way into Jongdae’s life when he was out for a late night walk, trying to get to know the village he would now call home. Jongdae was alone in a park singing and the beautiful voice drew Minseok in. He couldn’t help but listen as the younger sang some song about forbidden love, the pain in his voice broke Minseok’s heart. 

 

“You have a nice voice.” 

 

The comment had startled Jongdae a little, and he looked over to the source. As soon as his eyes locked upon the figure under the streetlamp Baekhyun was a long gone memory. The crush disappeared just like that and the thoughts of him being a living angel were crushed by this stranger. His monolid eyes were twinkling slightly and a shy smile pulled his pretty lips into a curved shape. 

 

“Thank you.” The simple response was all Jongdae could find in his jumbled mind. 

 

“My name’s Minseok. Are you okay? You sounded quite sad.” 

 

Jongdae wanted to tell the beauty before him that everything was fine now that he’d been graced by his presence, but he didn’t want to make the other uncomfortable with his, well, gayness. Instead he searched his brain for an appropriate response, pausing a little too long for him to seem alright. 

 

“I’m okay, I guess. I’ve been quite a bad friend recently and I guess that hurts. Anyway, we can forget that now, I’m Jongdae. It’s nice to meet you.”

 

They exchanged numbers and promised to keep in touch before parting ways, Jongdae needed to get home before his mother worried. That was the first night since the introduction to Baekhyun that wasn’t spent in tears, instead Jongdae fell asleep with a slight smile on his lips. 

 

Since then he seemed much happier, even if he still had the inner struggle of fighting against his father’s horrid words. He would hang out with Chanyeol and Baekhyun without guilt looming over him, and he apologised to Chanyeol for having been a bad friend since he came out. The taller accepted the apology and reassured Jongdae that he knew the smaller would take time to get used to it. 

 

The happiness wore off a little when they’d received the results of a biology test and Jongdae had failed it massively. He whined to Chanyeol the whole day about how his parents were going to kill him but his tall friend showed no compassion. He was laughed at and told to get a tutor, a good one. 

 

His mother had been quite sweet and agreed to find someone to help him. She mentioned that her new co-worker had a son who was doing his first year at uni with the goal set to be a biology teacher. Jongdae felt incredibly lucky, especially when his mother told him the next morning that everything had been set up. He had to go around to his tutor’s house after school that day. 

 

When Minseok opened the door Jongdae was unsure if he actually was lucky or not, since he would be spending time with Minseok but he would definitely have a hard time focusing on his work. He decided that he was lucky and soon the pair had figured out a schedule for when they would meet and discussed what Jongdae needed to work on the most. 

 

At first the sessions were quite awkward as the two were still kind of strangers, but soon the two got to know each other. After two months of tutoring the pair had become quite close and Jongdae definitely had a proper crush on Minseok and small, slightly intimate moments led him to believe that the feeling was mutual.

 

The first of the small moments had happened when Jongdae checked his phone during a tutoring session. He thought he’d been sneaky when he took the device out of his pocket, but it was snatched from his hands before he even noticed that Minseok had finished writing notes. The older of the two playfully glared at Jongdae, who blushed under the gaze. 

 

“You have an essay due next week, Jongdae. You need to focus more on the pointers I’m giving you and less on Chanyeol’s love life. Tell him not to send you texts about his dates when you’re here.” 

 

“Okay, just give it back!” Jongdae pleaded and Minseok shook his head. He held the device in his left hand and stretched his arm out so the younger couldn’t reach it. He chuckled a little at Jongdae’s frustrated expression, and soon the younger was leaning over him in an attempt to reach his phone. “Minseok!”

 

“Jongdae.” 

 

The younger one turned to look at Minseok, eyes leaving his precious phone. Only then did he notice how close he was, the concept of personal space completely forgotten. Their eyes met and it seemed as if something in the air shifted. Jongdae felt as if he was drawn to Minseok, and it seemed like his tutor felt the same way. 

 

Minseok could feel Jongdae’s breath on his face, eyes trailing down to the soft-looking lips. He felt his self control being tempted by the handsome man he was supposed to be helping write an essay. Every part of Minseok was screaming at him to just lean in a little closer. 

 

Jongdae was about to do it, they’d been stuck in the same position for what felt like forever. He was so close to just closing that small distance between them, letting himself kiss Minseok as if it weren’t a bad thing. Then the reality seemed to settle for them both as they awkwardly jumped apart as if they’d been caught doing something wrong, even if they were alone in Minseok’s living room. 

 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be so close. You can keep my phone until I leave!” Jongdae offered, eyes quickly scanning over the notes Minseok had made on his mock essay, not daring to see the disgust in his tutor's eyes for almost kissing him. 

 

That fear made him miss the light pink blush that dusted Minseok’s cheeks. 

 

Jongdae completely missed the fact that Minseok’s cheeks were still pink when the two bid goodbye at the end of the driveway, obliviously walking around the corner to his mother’s silver car. He nervously chewed on his lips, wondering if Minseok would hate him for getting so close. 

 

When his parents asked about the session Jongdae told them it went the same as always. He considered making up a story about an argument in case Minseok would cancel tomorrow out of sheer disgust but he gave Minseok the benefit of the doubt. He wouldn’t want to tarnish his name for nothing if he was okay with what had happened. 

 

Before bed Jongdae found himself reading the notes written in the familiar neat handwriting, smiling slightly at the way each acknowledgement of a mistake was accompanied by an encouraging comment or little doodle. The tactic made to keep Jongdae from taking the criticism too much to heart worked. He hoped he hadn’t lost that. 

 

For the first night since meeting Minseok, Jongdae cried himself to sleep out of worry. 

 

Chanyeol noticed the way his friend seemed on edge all day but didn’t ask about it. He knew Jongdae wasn’t the type to talk about his feelings anyway, so he just let him be. The redness of his eyes told Chanyeol that he was going through something, he hadn’t seen the evidence of Jongdae crying for a while, but he knew Jongdae needed space rather than support. He figured it was to do with the tutoring when Jongdae stiffened at the mention of it. 

 

Minseok had been worried too, wondering if Jongdae would show up. They’d been too close for just friends, he knew that, and maybe Jongdae had refused to look at him because he was grossed out. If Jongdae showed up Minseok had promised himself to beg his student not to tell his mother of his uality, because surely Jongdae had noticed how he looked at him? 

 

“I’m sorry if I grossed you out yesterday, I promise that nothing like that will ever happen again.” 

 

“I’m sorry if you were uncomfortable when I almost kissed you, I get if you don’t want to tutor me anymore.” 

 

They were both surprised by the other’s apology, staring at each other with wide eyes. Then Jongdae laughed a little and Minseok joined in. They had both wasted their energy worrying and it was a little funny that they’d apologised at the same time, when neither had done anything wrong. 

 

Their books were left on the table for that session, as Minseok treated Jongdae to a cup of tea on the couch instead. He wanted to talk to Jongdae about what had happened, or not happened. He wanted to know how Jongdae had found out that he liked men and if his parents were alright with it. He wanted to get to know that side of Jongdae, so the books stayed closed as they talked. 

 

Jongdae spoke about his crush on Baekhyun, leaving out that Minseok was what got him over it, and the horrible way he’d reacted to Chanyeol coming out. He spoke about his father’s throwaway remarks about the gays ruining society and the way his mother never said anything. He opened up to Minseok in a way that was exclusive just for him. 

 

Minseok returned the favour, launching into the story of his gay awakening. He’d had a crush on a guy in his class but, due to his incredibly homophobic mother, kept it to himself. He admitted that Jongdae was the first to know about his attraction to men as he didn’t have any friends who were out. Then he explained that he probably wouldn’t let anyone know anyway just in case it would reach his mother. 

 

Then they promised that there would be no more moments like the one they’d shared last session, it was just a one time thing. 

 

Turned out that they were both terrible at keeping promises. Minseok having a terrible day had made Jongdae feel the need to cheer him up, and that led to another intimate moment. He couldn’t just watch as Minseok was visibly upset, trying to distract himself with the essay draft on the table. 

 

“What’s wrong?” He’d asked softly when he watched Minseok read the same line again. 

 

“This sentence about cell-”

 

“I didn’t mean that, what’s wrong with you today? You look really upset.”

 

Minseok lifted his eyes from the paper, looking over at his student with a sad smile. He shrugged and recalled the nasty words he’d overheard about him on the way out from his lecture. He didn’t want to bother Jongdae with it, so he tried to keep it simple. “Some people in one of my lectures don’t seem too fond of me, that’s all.” 

 

“What did they say?” Jongdae saw the look on his tutor’s face and knew that whatever comments he’d heard weren’t pretty. Minseok hesitated for a little while before finally deciding to tell the curious boy. 

 

“That it’s a shame my family was cursed with a child as ugly as me, but at least I seem smart enough.” 

 

Jongdae’s jaw dropped a little, not comprehending how anyone could find Minseok ugly. He thought his tutor was the most beautiful person he’d ever seen, and sometimes he had to wonder if he even was human. It was so unfair that Minseok could be so good looking, so he jotted it down to his classmates being jealous. 

 

“You’re the prettiest person I’ve ever laid my eyes on, I think they’re just jealous of that.” 

 

The sincerity in the younger’s words surprised Minseok. He let their eyes meet and there was that feeling again, that magnet that pulled him to Jongdae. He fought against it as hard as he could but wished that he didn’t have to. 

 

“Thank you.” The soft whisper conveyed the emotion that Minseok was desperately trying to hide. Jongdae noticed how lovingly it had come out and he too felt the pull that Minseok was fighting against. The pair both knew that they wanted to get closer, but neither of them dared to move. 

 

Every few sessions the pair would find themselves in that bubble, wishing for more but knowing that the consequences would be far too heavy for them to carry. They would stare longingly and sometimes they ended up so close to one another that they were sharing the same air but it never went any further. They stopped themselves each time things got too real. 

 

They also texted a lot more often, sending little updates to each other between sessions. Jongdae gave Minseok updates about Chanyeol and Baekhyun while Minseok rambled about his courses and some annoying classmates. Some nights Jongdae would refuse to sleep until he’d received and responded to Minseok’s goodnight text. The best part of his morning was sending a cheery message to Minseok, wishing him a good day. 

 

The closest they ever got was when Jongdae had happily turned up to his tutoring session with a bunch of papers crumpled between his fingers. He waved them around with a huge grin on his face that made Minseok’s heart skip a beat. 

 

“I got an A! Minseok, you are an angel, I swear! Look!” 

 

Jongdae shoved the graded essay in Minseok’s face, the marking in the corner displaying the highest grade along with a comment about Jongdae’s incredible improvement in the course. Minseok couldn’t hide how proud he was of his student, so he pulled the younger boy in for an excited hug. 

 

It had thrown Jongdae off balance causing the two to fall onto the couch, faces close together as Minseok accidentally pinned him to the leather seats. The giddy squeals halted immediately. Their eyes locked together and they were back in their familiar bubble, that space between friends and lovers. For once Jongdae had allowed himself to lean in, lips ghosting over Minseok’s own. 

 

Just as the older had plucked up the courage to close the gap, the loud ringing of his phone made the bubble pop. They quickly untangled from the compromising position as Minseok hurried to answer his phone. His mother’s cold voice brought him right back down to the ground, and soon he was sending Jongdae on his way with the explanation that his mother would be home earlier than usual. 

 

Kim Minjeong spent all of dinner ranting about her terrible day at work, spitting snide comments about her co-workers left and right. She said one of them, who’d misspelt something or whatever, was as useless as the gays Minseok felt his heart break. He reminded himself that he would never be able to have Jongdae, no matter how much he longed to. The only hope would be if he moved out, but then he’d also have to cut ties with his parents. He c corrected himself, he’d have to be disowned by them. 

 

Jongdae almost confessed to Minseok at the next tutoring session, but the older of the two just shook his head and asked Jongdae not to bring it up yet. He said that he already knew what he wanted to say and that he simply wasn’t ready to hear it. Jongdae accepted it, promising to wait until Minseok was ready. 

 

For the next few weeks things rolled by as usual, and maybe they were a little too normal. Their bubble seemed to have been permanently burst by that phone call from Minseok’s mother; the pair didn’t find themselves in such close proximity again. They were both too scared to act upon their feelings, Jongdae had realised that confessing was a bad idea since it’d put them both in danger. 

 

Minseok did feel bad about asking Jongdae to wait while he made no effort to change things, so he did just that. Every now and then he would question things his mother complained about over dinner. Was the cleaner really such a bad person just because she was poor? Why did she say people who made mistakes were almost as bad as the gays? 

 

The questions then lead to arguments as he begged his mother to explain her views and her refusing to give any concrete answers. His father stayed out of it for the most part, but he would in with comments about how disgusting it was that some men longed for other men or that poor people were lazy leeches. Even the questions that weren’t about gay people swung back around to homophobic remarks that Minseok later cried about in the shower. 

 

Sometimes the words would hit so hard, he wondered if he could scrub away the dirty feeling they left. Maybe if he lathered his body in soap once more the words would wash right off. They never did, no matter how many times he tried. 

 

He found comfort in the many texts Jongdae would send and the tutoring sessions where he would playfully tease the boy about his overuse of emojis. Jongdae always had a comeback prepared and he always pointed out that Minseok never left him on read. Minseok never had a comeback for that. Anyway, he liked letting Jongdae win. 

 

When they were tidying up after a regular tutoring session, Jongdae seemed a little lost in his thoughts. Minseok thought nothing of it and calmly put his books back on their designated shelf while Jongdae stuffed his own into his backpack. Nothing seemed too out of the ordinary except for the extra silence. When they wordlessly walked down the driveway together Minseok felt that something was going to change that day. 

 

Jongdae slowed as they reached the end of the driveway, glancing over at Minseok with those eyes. The eyes that displayed everything the younger man felt, everything they shared between them. The same look that made Minseok’s heart ache for what they would never bring to life. “Minseok? Can I tell you something?” 

 

They both knew what would happen if Minseok said yes. They both knew that the younger would confess and they’d have to step blindly into a new world of loving one another more openly. Minseok knew exactly what Jondae would say if he nodded, and he wasn't anywhere near ready to hear those words. “No, Jongdae. Not now, please.” 

 

“It’s important, Seok. I really want to get it off my chest.” 

 

“Please, Dae, hold onto that thought for a little while longer. I just need to get out of here, then you can tell me anything you want. Just… don’t make me go through this yet. Please, wait.” Minseok’s eyes were more pleading than his words so Jongdae just nodded. 

 

“I’ll wait forever for you.” 

 

The words that left Jongdae’s lips were nothing but truth. Minseok didn’t have to ask him to be patient as Jongdae wanted nothing more than to finally hold him, he would wait as long as he needed to just to wrap Minseok in his embrace. He knew Minseok would need time and Jongdae wished he could help, but giving Minseok the world wouldn’t change a thing. So he bit his tongue, keeping his confessions to himself once more. He stored them away until they could fall upon ears that were ready to listen. 

 

He obviously wanted to confess and a small, selfish part of him wanted to ignore the pleas of his crush and just tell him, but he knew Minseok wouldn’t be able to reject him and he didn’t want things to be forced. He just reassured himself that their time would come and he would one day call Minseok his, it would happen one day.

 

They parted, Minseok walking back down the driveway and Jongdae walking around the corner to his mother’s car, both knowing what almost happened. Jongdae just swallowed it down, being as patient as ever, while Minseok tried his hardest not to cry. He failed. 

 

By the time his parents had returned home the living room was clean, any traces of his tutoring session were gone as they always had to be. The tears on his cheeks had dried and their traces were gone, they always had to disappear too. Crying over Jongdae was too risky, anyway. If his mother picked up on his sadness he’d have to find a good enough lie to cover it up, and he didn’t think he would be able to do that. 

 

He’d expected the usual small talk over dinner. He answered the usual questions about his tutoring and his classes, occasionally also mentioning something other than school. It wasn’t often that the conversation strayed, but then his mother’s eyes lit up when she remembered a rumour she’d heard at work. 

 

“Do you know what I heard?” Minjeong asked as she took a sip of her wine. When both her son and husband shook their heads she swallowed the drink to speak again. “The Parks, you know the ones in the nice house up the road? They found their son kissing someone in the basement when they got home from their dinner the other night,” 

 

“What was wrong about that? Their Chanyeol is surely old enough for relationships now. Was she poor?” Beomsoo asked and Minjeong took another sip of wine as she shook her head. 

 

“She is a he. Apparently their son is gay. The other boy? The Byuns’ youngest son. I feel so sorry for them.” Minjeong didn’t notice how badly her words were hurting her very own son. He was lost in thought worrying about the poor couple who were now exposed to the whole neighborhood as gay, and he prayed that they would be safe. 

 

“Maybe they can send them to some therapy thing or something? Straighten them out?” 

 

That told Minseok what would await him if he told his parents. Conversion therapy. He had to admit that he’d looked it up on his own when he first realised that he liked men, but then he read article after article about the terrible trauma it gave to gay men who went and didn’t get any straighter. That was how he found out that he wasn’t wrong for being gay, his parents views were. 

 

“What’s so wrong about them being gay? I’ve been struggling to understand how love can be seen as something so wrong.” 

 

He was setting himself up for failure, he knew that. Asking such a question would most likely just cause an argument and he’d go cry in the shower after listening to his parents unknowingly call him names. 

 

“You’ve started asking such questions a lot now, Minseok. You’re not trying to hint at something, are you?” Minjeong sent such a disgusted glare her son’s way as she suggested that he might be gay. Beomsoo was also giving him a look that made Minseok silently wish for the courage to say yes, just so they would disown him already, but he shook his head instead. 

 

“No! Of course not! I’m just curious. I’ve met a lot of interesting people here and I’m seeing new sides of things, new perspectives, so I just wondered…” Minseok trailed off as he hoped his excuse would be good enough. 

 

“Is it that Jongdae that’s teaching you these things?” Minjeong asked with a raised eyebrow, to which her son shook his head. The wide eyes, the fear in them, told her that he was lying. “It is! I don’t want you seeing him anymore. Beomsoo, will you do the dishes? I think I need to give Mrs. Kim a call.” 

 

The now-empty wine glass was placed on the table as the woman’s chair scraped against the floor. Minseok watched his mother walk away with tears in his eyes, feeling so insanely guilty. He hadn’t meant to throw Jongdae under the bus to save himself, he didn’t think his mother would single anyone out when he said he’d met new people. The only thing on his mind was that he had to give Jongdae a heads-up, so he excused himself to the bathroom. 

 

Jongdae was confused by the sudden panicked texts from Minseok apologising profusely and saying that he didn’t mean it. By the time he’d read them there was a knock on his bedroom door, so he quickly locked his phone and tucked it under his pillow without sending any sort of response. He was sure Minseok was still texting and he really wanted to know what the apologies were for, but the curiosity was soon sated. 

 

His mother sat down on his bed with him, a serious look on her face. She seemed quite conflicted and it worried Jongdae. He could usually read her but now she was just a mystery. The worry grew into fear as she opened and closed a few times, searching for the right words. 

 

“Mrs. Kim just called me, Minseok’s mother. She was quite… concerned about you.” 

 

If Jongdae had learned anything from his conversations with Minseok, it was that his mother was never concerned. She was nasty and rude and extremely judgemental. She was also extremely homophobic which made him feel sorry for Minseok. His parents didn’t talk about gays often, but Minjeong seemed to run on the hate. Kim Minjeong wasn’t anywhere near the type of woman who would call someone because they were concerned. 

 

“Why?” Jongdae avoided looking at his mother, as she would be able to read the fear as soon as their eyes met. He knew she had already noticed him worrying but letting her see how absolutely terrified he was would make it different. 

 

“She wanted to refund me for the remaining tutoring sessions as she claims you’re being a negative influence on her son. She’s worried you might turn him… gay.” 

 

The word made it all click in Jongdae’s mind. Minseok’s messages were an apology for this, his mother thinking he might be gay. He was apologising for the conversation Jongdae was forced to have, for potentially outing him. 

 

The only thing left that confused him was how Minseok’s mother would have known. Surely Minseok couldn’t have told her… Could he? Jongdae shot the thought down as soon as it came, Minseok would never have done such a thing. Nowhere in the near future would Minseok willingly mention anything about either of them being gay to his parents, especially not after he’d begged Jongdae not to confess. 

 

“Are you gay, Jongdae?” For the first time since she’d sat on his bed, Jongdae met her eyes. They weren’t filled with anger as he’d expected, instead he saw concern. It was something warm, something non-judgemental, something different. He couldn’t help but hesitate. He would normally have denied it but she looked so kind. “The only wrong answer is the one that’s a lie, dear.”

 

“Yes.” 

 

He hadn’t expected it to slip from his lips so easily, so freely, but his mother’s reassuring words seemed to coax the response out of him. The weight off his shoulders felt wonderful, even if his mother had yet to react. He didn’t have to live a lie anymore and being kicked out wouldn’t even ruin that for him. 

 

“How long have you known?” The question wasn’t judgy or harsh or disgusted, just genuinely curious. Jongdae almost pinched himself to make sure that the kind reaction wasn’t a dream. 

 

“About a year?” 

 

His mother nodded a little, taking the information in, and Jongdae appreciated that she wasn’t answering on impulse as he’d done when Chanyeol came out to him. Never would he have thought that his mother would be more understanding than he himself was. 

 

“Wasn’t that around the time that Chanyeol started seeing his boyfriend?” 

 

An embarrassed nod was Jongdae’s first response, then surprise when he realised that his mother knew and accepted that his best friend was gay. He wanted to ask but he also wanted to tell his mother the story of him meeting Baekhyun since she seemed so okay with it. 

 

“Chanyeol’s mother told me when she found out. She was struggling with it but she told me about how happy he seemed. Anytime Chanyeol was going to see Baekhyun there was this stupid grin on his face, and she’d never seen him that happy before. Then he cried when they found out, and she’d never seen him so sad. It was obvious that Baekhyun was good for Chanyeol so she had to put all her prejudices aside and support her son. Some ladies at work overheard, though. They were absolutely horrible to her, I couldn’t not stand up for her.” 

 

The explanation made the final penny drop. Minseok’s mother worked in the same building as his and, knowing what he knew about her, Jongdae figured she’d brought it up over dinner. As much as Jongdae admired Minseok, he couldn’t help but mentally curse him for feeling the need to stand up for others. 

 

“Baekhyun was my first crush. I used to think he was the prettiest guy on the planet. I cried a lot because of the guilt.” 

 

“But you don’t think he’s the prettiest guy on the planet anymore?” His mother caught onto his use of past tense and soon realised why her son was always so eager to go to his tutoring sessions, why he was much happier since the Kims had moved to town, and why he smiled so much once he got home from hours of studying. Her lips curved up to a smile. “You think Minseok is, don’t you?” 

 

The floodgates opened as Jongdae nodded. His tears fell from his eyes so quickly and suddenly that Seolhee was a little startled. She carefully wrapped her arms around him, telling him that it was okay. Hearing those words only made him cry harder, as they were all he’d ever wished to hear. Those were words Minseok would never hear from his own mother. It was all too much for Jongdae so he just let his mother comfort him as he blabbered about everything he’d kept locked inside for so long. 

 

When his cheeks finally dried he answered the questions his mother had about the mess he’d spewed. He admitted that he hadn’t even told Chanyeol, only Minseok knew about it. He explained that he’d fallen hard for Minseok, and how the other seemed to feel the same, but that the words wouldn’t ever be said until they were both ready. He told her of the vile things Minseok’s parents would say, which she knew were true as she’d heard such things at work too. 

 

Once his mother was assured that he was alright and left his room, Jongdae reached for his phone. There were a few more panicked messages from Minseok, as he’d expected. Then there was one explaining what had happened, no more. 

 

Jongdae sent a text back about the conversation he’d had with his mother, letting Minseok know that everything was alright and that he wasn’t angry. Minseok understood why his mother had singled Jongdae out when he read the message, of course Kim Minjeong would’ve jumped to conclusions when Seolhee stood up for Mrs. Park. He told Jongdae that he was incredibly happy for him, but left it at that. 

 

“I lied.” 

 

The words stole the attention that had been given to the television, both of his parents now looking at Minseok with furrowed eyebrows. They obviously hadn’t understood what he meant. 

 

He’d made his mind up when Jongdae had been outed by his mother, but it had taken a few days to muster up the courage to go through with his plan. He’d packed two bags, ready to go as soon as they told him that he was disgusting, prepared for the harsh words he would be showered in. The only thing he hadn’t planned was where he would go, but he would figure that out when it got to that point. 

 

“When you asked me if I was gay, I lied.”

 

It was both incredibly brave and incredibly stupid, but Minseok was tired of hiding it. He stared right at his mother as he watched her face drop, pure disgust replacing the confusion. He didn’t look at his father, he already knew that the man would mirror whatever his mother did. She made the rules, he just followed them blindly. 

 

“I knew that Jongdae was doing something to you. Did he touch you? Did you act upon your filthy thoughts under this very roof?” The questions were what Minseok had expected. 

 

“I didn’t want to let him love me if I had to keep him as a dirty little secret, he’s too precious to me for that. And, for your information, I knew I was gay long before I met him.” 

 

The next thing that happened wasn’t a part of his calculations. It was so far from his expectations, as his mother usually utilised her sharp tongue whenever she got the chance. Apparently her vicious words were no longer enough, as she let her hand collide harshly with her son’s cheek. Her ring sliced his lip, causing drops of blood to slowly trickle down his chin as he stood frozen still. 

 

“How dare you disgrace me this way? I gave you everything.” 

 

“No, you didn’t. You never gave me any love. You just proved that all on your own.” 

 

Minseok wasted no more time on the woman he once called his mother. He grabbed his things from his room and left the house without a goodbye, not looking back once as his mother screamed any nasty things she could think of. He let her waste her breath, not letting a single comment phase him ever again. 

 

He walked around the neighbourhood with his two bags, trying to make up a plan of where to go. He maybe should’ve figured something out before leaving, but he’d had enough. Kim Minjeong would never hurt him again, she wouldn’t have that power over him. 

 

When that thought crossed his mind he lifted a hand up to his lip. The blood stained his thumb a crimson red, and he tried not to tear up knowing that his mother had been so disgusted that she resorted to violence. She’d never seemed violent before, never even suggesting that she’d want to hit anyone when she rambled on angrily about colleagues. Maybe she had saved her violent side especially for her son, just in case. 

 

He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice a slim blond approaching him. Slender fingers carefully wrapped themselves around his forearm, catching his attention. The blond then saw the cut on his lip and his eyes widened a little. “Are you okay?” 

 

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry about it.” Minseok winced when he tried to send the stranger a reassuring smile, the cut then being stretched. The stranger looked more worried due to the failed attempt at reassurance. 

 

“You don’t look fine. I’m on my way to my- my friend’s house, please come with me. At least let us clean the cut so it doesn’t get infected?” The boy pleaded. Minseok noticed the stutter on the destination and worried about following the stranger. “My name’s Byun Baekhyun, by the way. I wouldn’t tell you that if I was going to harm you, would I?” 

 

Minseok visibly relaxed at the name, causing Baekhyun to conclude that whoever had hurt the man was a homophobe. He knew that his name was now synonymous with gay and the only reason someone would relax so much at the sound of it would be if they, too, were gay. It was the only time he found having been outed to maybe have been a positive thing. 

 

“Kim Minseok.” 

 

Baekhyun tried not to tense up or look at the man with pity, barely succeeding. He’d heard all about Kim Minjeong and her family from Chanyeol’s mother, she’d cried so hard because of that woman’s cruel words, and Baekhyun wondered if he’d be allowed to bring Minseok into the house he was about to visit. He wouldn’t blame Mrs. Park if she was uncomfortable having the devil’s son in her house but then he remembered that Minseok had no say in who his parents were. 

 

Minseok recognised the house when he stood in front of it, his mother always referred to it as the nicest one in the neighbourhood, and he understood why Baekhyun had stuttered when saying where he was going. Of course, he couldn’t call Park Chanyeol his boyfriend casually to strangers. 

 

Baekhyun knocked on the door, his slender fingers still wrapped around Minseok’s arm. The two waited patiently for someone to answer the door, and soon enough a tall redhead stood in front of them with a confused expression. He glanced between Baekhyun and the stranger, not noticing the split lip at first. When he finally laid eyes on the injury he opened the door further without any questions. 

 

“Mum!” He yelled up the stairs, sounds of careful footsteps following the call for help. Minseok looked to the ground, fearing the reaction of the woman his mother had been so mean to. He was sure that she would recognise him and she most definitely did. 

 

“Oh my god, Mister Kim, are you okay? Who did this to you, dear?” 

 

That was the first time a woman had fussed over him the way mothers did in books. She’d looked at the injury on his face and ordered her son to fetch an ice pack. Baekhyun was told to make tea and take Minseok’s bags off him, which the blond did with no hesitation. All the kindness was so unfamiliar, so new. 

 

Minseok couldn’t hold back his tears. 

 

Kind Mrs. Park silently took him into her arms, telling him that he was safe now. She held no grudges for his mother’s behaviour and showed nothing but kindness to the boy in her arms. It only made him cry harder as he believed that he was undeserving of her care. 

 

“You have to tell me who did this, Mister Kim.”

 

“Minseok,” he corrected as he sniffled. 

 

“Okay. Minseok, who hurt you?” 

 

“Minjeong… I came out to her and she didn’t take it very well.” 

 

Mrs. Park had suspected that her colleague was behind her son’s bruise, but she wouldn't dare to make such an accusation. Her heart ached for the poor boy in her arms, who’d probably heard more evil words in his own home than she faced at work. He’d had to sit opposite the cruel woman at dinner time and hear her unknowingly call him names, and Mrs. Park would never understand how painful that must've been. 

 

Chanyeol returned with an ice pack, which was soon pressed against Minseok’s cheek. He had a wet cloth in his other hand so the older boy could clean the blood off his chin. Minseok thanked him before he started rubbing the cloth on the dried blood. Baekhyun soon came with the tea, too. He handed a cup to Minseok without a word. 

 

A knock on the door startled Minseok and he feared that his mother had followed him, but Baekhyun soon calmed him down as he explained that they were expecting another friend to join them as Chanyeol disappeared into the hall. 

 

Minseok didn’t look at the new addition, staring down at the tea in his cup instead. He heard muffled conversation before there was a loud gasp and a familiar voice calling out his name. He looked up as soon as he heard it and soon Jongdae was kneeled in front of him with careful hands on his jaw. 

 

“I told them, she wasn’t happy.” 

 

Jongdae shook his head a little, not understanding how anyone could ever lay their hands on their child. The fear sunk in that Minseok had told them for his sake, and he didn’t want to indirectly be the reason why the angel was bruised. “Why now?” 

 

“I couldn’t do it anymore, I just had to.” 

 

“Always making me wait, aren’t you? First it was waiting for you to tell them, now I have to wait for your lip to heal.” The half-joke made Minseok chuckle a little as Jongdae reached out to wipe the tears off his crush’s cheeks. Neither cared about the small audience who were all surprised by the interactions, this time their bubble wouldn’t pop. 

 

“You did say you’d wait forever.” 

 

“And I meant every word.” 

 

Forever turned out to be ten days. Jongdae’s parents had allowed Minseok to live with them, the guest room now his. Jongdae applied saline solution to Minseok’s split lip before and after school and he reminded Minseok to drink a lot of water. Eventually the damage caused by Minjeong was gone and Jongdae’s patient wait was finally over. 

 

His parents had gone out to dinner, they always had dinner out on certain dates and Jongdae told them not to change that just because Minseok was living with them. It had taken some convincing but his parents did eventually get all dressed up to go to the fancy restaurant they loved so dearly. 

 

Jongdae and Minseok were both sprawled on the younger boy’s colourful bed, enjoying the mutual silence. They had been playing video games but, after losing for a ninth time, Jongdae had given up. Jongdae was still laying on his stomach, head close to the TV, while Minseok rested on his pillows. It was calm, easy and comfortable, they finally had a break from everything around them. 

 

“Am I allowed to confess my undying love to you now?” Jongdae wondered with a small smile on his lips. He heard Minseok chuckle before he felt him shuffle. Minseok lay on his back, head now also close to the TV. He looked at the younger with a fond smile. 

 

“I think you just did, but I can ignore that if you had a speech prepared.” 

 

“I didn’t. I was going to keep it super simple with an I love you, Minseok.” 

 

Jongdae turned his head so he was facing Minseok, loving the blush on his cheeks. The pink tint suited him well and Jongdae was proud anytime he managed to cause it to appear. 

 

“I love you, too, Jongdae. Thank you for being so patient with me.” 

 

Jongdae leaned forward and ever so carefully pressed his lips to Minseok’s, finally feeling those soft lips against his own. It was a sweet, innocent peck, but it was all the pair needed to show their love. They weren’t in any rush so a small peck was enough for them both flush red. 

 

“I wouldn’t mind waiting forever for you, Minseok.” 

 

“I know.”